Array
(
[text] =>
“Vic, no.” I giggle pushing him away.
“Let me kiss you.” he pouts.
“No, I’m trying to draw.” I huff.
“You’ve been trying to draw for ten minutes and there’s nothing on the paper.” he points out.
I look down at my blank paper and pout.
“I don’t know what to draw.” I whine.
Vic’s face suddenly shows that he’s had an idea.
“I have a solution to all of our problems.” he beams.
He pulls out his phone and does something on it before he extends his arm and I realize the camera is open.
Vic grabs my chin, grinning as he pushes his lips to mine. I kiss him back and he grabs the back of my neck firmly holding me in place. I hear the camera shutter go off and Vic pulls away.
He stares at me for a second, just smiling to himself before he let’s go of me. He looks at the photo and smiles.
“Draw that.” he chirps, handing me the phone.
I look at the photo of us kissing and cant help but to smile.
“Mama’s taking me to therapy so I’ll see you later.” he chirps. “Have that done by the time I get back, I want to see it.”
“Okay.” I grin. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” he kisses my cheek then leaves the room.
I smile to myself as I draw, copying the photograph.
I’m really glad that Vic’s going to therapy. I don’t know it’s it’s helping but I hope it is. Vic doesn’t like to talk about it. But he’s seems a lot better.
I draw for hours until it’s finished and I’m happy with it. My gosh we are adorable. I start missing Vic and wonder when he’s going to come back.
I close my sketchbook and stuff it under my bed before I bounce off downstairs. I don’t find Mama inside but then I see her through the window, watering her garden.
I head outside and she puts down her watering can when she sees me.
“What do you need Kell?” she asks.
“I was wondering when Vic was going to be home?” I ask hopefully.
“I don’t know, honey. He said he was going on a date with Nicole after his appointment.” she says and my stomach drops.
“Oh.” I whisper sadly.
Why would Vic go on a date with Nicole and why would he keep this from me?
“After Papa has finished making dinner, we want to talk to you about something.” Mama says softly and I nod although I have no idea why they want to talk to me.
I look around the garden and at the white rose bush Mama was watering.
“Your flowers are very pretty, Mama.” I tell her in awe.
She gestures for me to come closer to her so I do and she takes my hand.
She squats down so I do the same and she points to a plague. It says “Michael Christopher Fuentes; we may have only held you in our arms for a moment but we will hold you in our hearts forever.”
“Do you know what a white rose means, Kell?” she asks and I shake my head. “A white rose is a symbol of purity and innocence.”
“Who is Michael, Mama?” I ask softly.
“He’s my son.” she whispers back. “Mike was stillborn. Do you know what that means?”
I shake my head once again.
“It means when he was born, he wasn’t alive.” she says.
I look at her sadly but she’s just looking at the flowers.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, Mama.” I whisper.
“Thank you, Kellin.” she smiles. “Victor and I started fostering a while after Mike died. I was always too scared to have another baby. We’ve taken in a lot of kids until they could find permanent homes. They were all a lot younger than you but ever since I met you Kellin, you’ve felt like a son to me. You fit in so well with this family and I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I never want to lose you like I lost Mike. If you are ever struggling, I want you to come to me sweetie. There is no problem that can’t be solved.”
I look at the tears in her eyes and make a promise to myself that I’ll always go to Mama if I need anything.
“Thank you, Mama. I love you.” I whisper.
“I love you too, Sweetie.” she smiles, wiping her eyes.
I turn to the plaque below the roses and reach out and touch it.
“It was nice to meet you, Mike.” I whisper.
I kiss Mama’s cheek and leave her, going back inside. I sit on the sofa for a bit, watching cartoons until Mama and Papa both enter the room.
They sit on either side of me with serious looks on their faces. There must be something wrong. Maybe it’s something about the trial.
“What’s wrong?” I ask anxiously.
“We’re not mad at you, we’re just really concerned.” Papa starts.
“What did I do?” I ask frantically.
“I found this in your pants when I was going the laundry.” Mama says holding the razorblade I had taken off Vic and stuffed in my pocket. “We were concerned so we talked to Dr. Stump and he said that you had brought up self harming before.”
Oh no. There’s no way I can get out of this without ratting on Vic or lying and saying that I self-harm.
“Are you cutting yourself, Kellin?” papa asks softly.
I can’t throw Vic under the bus, I just can’t.
“No. I-I’ve thought about it but I’ve never done it.” I whisper.
“Why, Kell? What makes you want to hurt yourself?” Mama asks.
“Maybe I deserved what my parents did.” I admit, something that I had often thought about.
“Why on earth would you think that?” Mama asks.
“There has to be a reason why they hurt me. Maybe I’m a bad person.” I frown.
“You’re not a bad person, Kell.” Papa sighs. “For whatever reason your parents decided to treat you the way they did, that’s on them. That isn’t on you. You’ve done nothing wrong. You don’t deserve any form of pain. You’re a beautiful boy.”
I nod and smile feeling a lot better from their words.
“If you ever think about hurting yourself, please come to us. We’re not going to be mad.” Mama states and I nod.
“Thank you very much.” I whisper. “I’ll talk to you if I’m ever feeling bad.”
Mama smiles and hugs me tightly.
“Do you know what unconditional love is?” she asks and I shake my head. “Unconditional love is when you love someone without condition. You love them no matter what. In most cases when people have children they gain this magical power to love their children no matter what and that’s what Victor and I feel for Vic and what we feel for you. We’re going to love you no matter what. You can always come to us with anything. No matter what it is, it’ll never change the way we feel about you.”
I feel myself tear up a little bit.
“Really?”
“Yes really, Kell. You’re our son, whether we’re blood or not.” Papa says.
“I change my mind.” I smile. “A bed isn’t the best thing you ever gave me. The best thing you ever gave me was a family.”
Mama kisses my head and wraps her arms around me.
“I’m glad we had this talk.” she whispers.
“Me too.” I smile.
I hug Papa quickly before leaving the room and going up to my bedroom. I fall down on Vic’s bed and begin thinking about him. I really hope everything is okay between us. I hope he isn’t really on a date with Nicole.
It’s not long before I hear Vic get home. I just listen to his footsteps as they come up the stairs and eventually the door opens.
Vic looks a little concerned when he sees me.
“Is everything okay, baby?” He asks.
“Why were you on a date with Nicole?” I frown.
He smiles a little and sits on the edge of the bed and that’s when I notice a shopping bag in his hands.
“I wasn’t with Nicole. I just told Mama that because I needed to go shopping and I didn’t want her to know.” he explains making me feel a lot better.
“Oh. I’m sorry.” I frown.
“It’s okay. I understand why you’re worried. But I have good news. I sent her a text today telling her that the whole thing is off and she seems okay with it. In fact, she said that she was planning to get back together with Alex.” he explains.
“So now we can officially get back together.” I ask hopefully and he nods with a chuckle.
“Yes. You’ll never have to hear her bitching about her makeup ever again.” Vic smiles making me grin.
I sit up and wrap my arms around his neck. I curiously peer into his shopping bag and see something called Trojan. What’s a Trojan? How do you even say that?
“So what did you go shopping for?” I ask.
Vic closes the bag and gets up, causing me to let of of him.
“It’s a secret.” he tells me, as he goes over to his set of drawers.
He kneels down and pulls the bottom drawer all the way out before he shoves the bag into the empty space. He then slides the drawer back in.
“Will I ever find out?” I pout.
“I hope so. Eventually. Until then, don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.” he smiles.
He sits back next to me and kisses my cheek making me blush.
“How was therapy?” I ask.
Vic just shrugs and I frown.
“I know you don’t want to talk to me about it but is it at least helping you?” I ask hopefully.
He smiles and nods.
“I think it is. Things are still shitty and but I think I’m learning to deal with it all better. And maybe just maybe I’m feeling a little better about myself. He told me to not say anything to myself that I wouldn’t say to my boyfriend and I think just not speaking negatively about myself is helping me feel better about myself.” he explains making me grin.
“Viccy, that makes me so happy.” I sigh. “All I want is for you to see yourself the way I see you.”
“I don’t think that’ll happen any time soon but hopefully one day I will. I don’t know what you even see in me. I’m not-”
I interrupt Vic with a kiss.
“Don’t say anything about yourself you wouldn’t say to me.” I whisper and he nods with a smile.
“I love you, Kell.” he whispers.
“I love you too.” I whisper back.
“How was your day?” Vic chirps.
“It was okay. I finished that drawing and I met your little brother.” I tell him, not wanting to mention the razorblade incident.
“You met Mike?” Vic says and I nod.
“Does it make you sad that he died?” I whisper.
“Of course it does.” Vic smiles sadly. “I always think about what it would have been like to have a little brother. Maybe things would be better. But everything happens for a reason and I believe I would never have met you if he hadn’t died and I can’t imagine my life without you.” he explains making me smile.
“I love you.”I whisper again and he grins.
“I love you too.” he whispers back.
I hear footsteps coming up the stairs so I move over to my bed.
The door opens and Mama comes in.
“How was your appointment, Vic?” she asks.
“Good.” he smiles.
“And your date with Nicole?”
“We broke up.” he smiles.
“Oh honey, I’m sorry.” Mama frowns.
“It’s okay. It was a mutual agreement.” Vic says and Mama smiles.
“Whatever makes you happy, sweetie. You’ll find someone who’s right for you eventually.” she says.
Vic glances at me for a split second and nods.
“Yeah, I think I will.”
[text_hash] => c10d6802
)