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I woke with a start, glancing around the darkness of my surroundings; although it appeared to still be really early clouds must have been covering the moon because it was darker than usual. I rubbed at my cheek, noticing a slight pain tingling on my skin. What the hell woke me?
It wasn’t until then did I remember where I was. I wasn’t in my own tent; I was in Chase’s. A smile formed at the hazy memory of him falling asleep in my arms and I too falling asleep in him. Then I frowned; why wasn’t he now?
Then I noticed it; a quiet whimpering sound coming from the darkness. Was that Chase? Out of nowhere I felt something ram into my side, just below my ribs. I flinched at the sudden contact as the pain settled. It wasn’t too bad it was just the surprise of it more than anything. What was going on?
I reached out in the darkness, searching for his contact. My fingers brushed against the fabric of his shirt before my hand pressed against what felt like his arm. I ran my fingers down the limb before gently grasping his wrist. He muffled a quiet “No” as he started writhing and trying to pull himself from my grip. “Please no” he continued. Only then did it become clear he was having a nightmare.
I moved myself closer to him as I tried to shake him; not too forcefully but enough to wake him up. “Chase wake up – Chase it’s only me, It’s Trae.” I pulled him into my arms when I heard him take a sharp intake of breath. “It’s only me Chase” I repeated in case he was still confused or scared. “It’s me”
I felt his heavy, unsteady breaths as it fanned against my neck. I ran my fingers through his hair as I tried to soothe him; whispering words of reassurance into his ear. It didn’t take long before his breathing slowed and returned back to normal.
“Sorry” I heard him mumbled as he pressed his face into my chest; obviously embarrassed.
I tightened my grip around him, pulling him closer. “You have nothing to be sorry about” I yawned, “Didn’t seem like you had much control of it”
He was quiet for a few seconds before responding. “Did I wake you up?” he asked quietly.
I thought about it for a seconds before chuckling quietly, “I’m pretty sure you punched me in the face”
“I what? Shit Trae I’m so sorry” I felt him pull away slightly and even in the dark I knew he was staring up at me with a worried expression in typical Chase fashion. “Are you okay?”
“Don’t even worry about it” I laughed, “but…” I continued, “I think I know what would make it feel a lot better”. Either the clouds have moved or my eyes were adjusting because I could start to see the outline of his body and the contours of his face.
“Is that so?” he chuckled quietly, “and what would that be?”
“I dunno” I whispered, feigning innocence. “I was hoping you’d tell me” My fingers pulled up his shirt slightly; brushing against the bear skin of his back.
Chase laughed quietly, almost seductively. “Have you always been such a pervert?”
“I think so” I replied matter-of-factly, “Or maybe it’s just because of how sore my cheek is” I teased
A few seconds passed before I felt him shifting in my arms and placing a quick kiss on my cheek. “Better?” I could hear a hint of mischief in his voice.
“It was the other cheek” I knew I was lying but he didn’t know that; and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying this.
My breathing hitched as I felt the warmth of his breath pass across my face and stop right next to my right cheek. He lingered there for a few seconds, the heat of his breath caressing the skin of my cheek and ear. My grip on his hip tightened involuntarily as he pressed his lips against my cheek. This time he was a lot slower; more sensual. “How about now?” his voice was quiet and raspy. It wasn’t until then did I pay attention to the sleep in his voice, the husky tone that lingered as he spoke. Whether or not he wanted to sound seductive; he did. The sound was arousing.
“Still no” I stated quietly, turning my head and pressing my lips against his. He didn’t hesitate before returning the kiss with equal desperation, one of his hands on my hip and the other on my chest.
I rolled onto my back, pulling him so that he was laying on top of me. He adjusted himself so that he held himself up with his elbows as his body, and obvious arousal, pressed against me. I ran my hands down his sides slowly, grasping his hips and pressing my fingers into his skin. I sucked and nibbled at his bottom lip before running my tongue along the swollen flesh; teasing him. He groaned against my mouth as I dragged my fingernails up his back, pulling him harder into me as I rolled my hips against him.
I frowned as he pulled away, only to be replaced by a gasp as his mouth found my neck. My head tilted back involuntarily; exposing more of my neck to his assault. Is this what it felt like for him?
My body writhed beneath him as his mouth found its way onto my Adam’s apple, licking and sucking the sensitive skin. His mouth continued up my neck; leaving a trail of fire in its wake. “Fuck” I moaned as he found my ear, nibbling and flicking his tongue over my earlobe in desperate motions. I couldn’t control myself as my hand slipped into the back of his sweats and gripping his arse. I pulled him into me, my hand squeezing and massaging the tender flesh.
I felt one of his hands as he slid it up under my shirt and dug his nails into my side. My mouth hung agape as he groaned into my ear, the arousing sound intensified by just how close his mouth was. The sounds were intoxicating; euphoric, and I wanted more.
I dragged my other hand up his back; lifting his shirt up in the process. I was about to pull shirt off but I stopped myself. I knew my intentions and this wasn’t the time or the place. This whole thing with Chase is new and still a little confusing but if there’s one thing I’m sure of; he deserves better than this. If I removed that barrier I know I couldn’t control and as much I wanted to; we weren’t ready for that. I pulled my hand back out of his sweats and moved it back to his side, gently pushing him back so that he was looking down at me.
“Trae?” he asked quietly, he sounded a little nervous.
I ignored him; cupping his cheek and bringing his lips back to mine in a slower, more intimate kiss. My fingers gently brushed against his cheek as I held his face. I tentatively nipped at his bottom lip before slowly, teasingly running my tongue over the surface.
I sighed, leaning my forehead against his.
“How does your cheek feel now?” Chase chuckled.
I couldn’t help but laugh, “Much better”. I kissed him once more before rolling him back over so that he was lying next to each other. A few seconds passed as we lay there staring at each other. I couldn’t tell if his eyes were open or closed but I couldn’t help but smile when he yawned. “So, tell me about this dream”
“It was just a stupid dream” he mumbled quietly, “You should just go back to sleep”
I shook my head even though I knew he couldn’t see it, “Not until you go to sleep first”
“But you-“
“I don’t care” I pressed, “Now you can tell me about your dream or you can tell me something about yourself I don’t already know; it’s up to you.”
“Thank you” he all but whispered, loud enough that I could hear it but soft enough for it to convey just how grateful he was.
“Don’t even worry about it” I smiled, “Besides, despite how mean you are, beating me in my sleep and all, I actually like talking to you” I teased matter-of-factly
“You call that a beating?” he laughed, “Y’know I killed a man with this thumb!”
“What?!” I laughed
“You said to tell you something you didn’t know”
“Seriously? Every man and their dog has seen ratatouille!” I laughed, “God that’s probably the most random thing I’ve ever heard”
I felt him punch my arm. “I’m tired okay, shut up” he groaned, burying in face into my chest.
“Yes sir” I chuckled, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss on his forehead. He shifted closer before releasing an audible breath.
Minutes passed as he lay still in my arms without a word so I assumed he was asleep. My eyes were closed as he spoke, “There’s nothing else really interesting to tell” his words were quiet and tired, like he was also lost in thought.
“Sure there is” I mumbled, “Sometimes it’s the things we find least interesting about ourselves that others find the most fascinating”
“Are you always this philosophical when you’re tired?”
“Possibly” I shrugged, tracing my fingers over the bump of his hip bone. A few seconds passed before I spoke again. “Why do you always talk yourself down?”
He hesitated for a few seconds so I spoke up again. “You don’t have to say anything. I just want to understand how that head of yours works. I know I hardly know you but I think you’re one of the most amazing person I know; kind, honest, modest, humble… drop dead gorgeous” I smirked, nudging him softly. “But you’re always talking yourself down and I don’t know why”
“I’ve never had a reason to talk myself up” he mumbled, “There’s nothing special about me. I’m just me, Chase Keating… I haven’t even got a middle name” he chuckled. “Even when people say good things about me I just don’t see what they’re talking about and I don’t know why. I’m not a sad person… or I don’t think so” I could hear the frown in his voice. “I’m hardly ever feeling down but it’s just something I’ve always done. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really been a confident person or maybe because I’ve never liked people having expectations of me because I know I’d just screw things up and let them down…”
“Chase…stop” I cut him off, “You have every right to talk yourself up. I wasn’t lying about what I said before; about you being kind, modest, humble… and I wasn’t kidding about you be fucking gorgeous either. I’m pretty sure you turned me gay for god’s sake” I chuckled. “Whether you see it or not there is something about you that’s special; something that makes you Chase Keating. Who cares if you don’t have a middle name? Neither do I. My parents have always had the highest expectations of me… do well at school, go to Uni and become the best little doctor that they can be proud of to boast about to their doctor friends. That’s not me; and parents or not, I’ll be damned if I change myself to please them. Screw expectations and screw what people think of you… what you think people think of you. I don’t expect you to just wake up in the morning and have the confidence of Kevin” I teased light-heartedly, “Just promise me you’ll stop putting yourself down so much. Okay?”
He was quiet for a few seconds before I felt his lips brush against mine, gently and barely there. “Okay”
…
I woke with a yawn, flexing my back and stretching out my legs to ease the pent up tension in my body without waking up Chase as he lay asleep in my arms. My arm underneath him was dead but I didn’t care. We didn’t stay awake much longer after our little moment but I loved every second of it; even if it was silent. He opened up to me and I’ll be damned if it didn’t make me feel pretty good. He trusted me. Not many people do because of my track record but he does, and that’s all that matters right now.
Unable to resist I gave him a soft kiss on his hairline; briefly running my fingers through the soft strands with my free hand. I couldn’t help but chuckle at how dishevelled his morning hair looked.
It was our last day out here; tomorrow, it will all be over. I know that I know nothing of Chase outside of this little escape but it will work, I know it will. I guess I’m going to have to talk to him about it later.
I closed my eyes to rest them just as I felt him shift in my arms followed by a yawn. He groaned as I felt him stretch in my arms before going still and quiet.
“Stop staring” I mumbled after a few moments of silence.
“I-I” he hesitated for a second, clearing his throat; his voice still raspy. “How did you know?”
I chuckled hearing the panic in his voice. “Relax” I laughed quietly, “I just wanted to sound Cliché. You can keep going if you want”
“It’s just weird now” he mumbled sounding a little disappointed, “If I’m gonna be a creep I’d rather you not know about it”
“You’re too cute” I chuckled quietly. Physically I was awake, mentally… not so much. I was still far from it. We went quiet again. I was still too tired to feel like talking but I hated the silence. I wanted to hear his voice.
I opened my eyes, glancing at him to see his eyes were closed. “Chase” I mumbled. I had nothing I wanted to say; I just wanted him to look at me.
“I’m not staring anymore” he assured me
“That’s the problem”
He opened his eyes slowly, staring back at me through half-open eyes before smiling shyly. “Good morning”
I couldn’t help but smile back. “Good morning Chase” His cheeks tinged pink at the mention of his name. I studied him for a few seconds. “Have I ever told you you have nice eyes?”
“I don’t think so” he blinked, “So do you” he replied in a hushed tone, “I love your eyes”.
I gave him a small smile in return but on the inside I was grinning like a fool; he loved my eyes. “I dunno” I chuckled, “They’re probably looking pretty bloodshot right now”
“Yeah a little” he laughed, “But I’d say mine are too so I don’t think that matters”
“If you so say mister” I chuckled, “How’d you sleep the second time round?”
“Pretty well” he smiled, “Dreams were nightmare free”
“That’s good to hear” I ran my hand up his arm, brushing the back of my fingers lightly against his cheek. “Mine were too” I smirked, “Quite the opposite really” I winked at him before laughing.
“You disgust me” he laughed, punching my in the arm.
“I’m kidding!” I laughed, “Though I did sleep very well”
“That’s much better” he grinned. We went silent again but it wasn’t awkward; it was a comfortable silence… right up to when he frowned. I did too, looking at him with a confused expression. “Do you remember last night when you asked if something was wrong?” he asked.
I nodded my head, unsure of what he was going to say. “Yeah?”
“Well…” He swallowed hesitantly.
“Should I be worried?” I asked with a quiet chuckle, trying to break the thin layer of tension as it built up.
“No no” he said quickly, “Well I hope not. I’m just bad with this sort of stuff is all” he tried to smile but I could tell he was worried about something. “It’s just that…” We both jumped when someone started hitting the side of the tent.
“Come on love birds” we heard Kevin yell, “It’s almost 12. Stop having sex and get the hell out here or we’ll leave without you, got it?”
I cleared my throat before replying “Where?” I asked, “And we’re not having sex” I added defensively.
“Just get your arse out here” Was his reply before I heard his retreating steps.
“Shit” I groaned, rubbing at my eyes and rolling onto my back. He was yelling but he sounded more joking than pissed which I’m glad for.
“I guess that means we should get up then” Chase sat up quickly and stretched out his arms.
“But what about the thing that’s been bothering you?” I asked concerned.
“Like I said, it’s not that bad” he mumbled, “I’ll tell you tonight okay, promise”
“Are you inviting me to sleep with you again?” I smirked with a chuckle.
“No – I mean yes – I mean… If you want to…” He stuttered nervously, looking down at his fingers as he twisted them.
“Hey” I said light-heartedly, “Eyes up mister” I sat up so that I was beside him, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world”. I leant over and kissed him on the corner of his mouth before grinning at him. “I was gonna invite myself anyway”.
-End of Chapter 12-
A/N.. What’s that… an actual update?! Gosh darn what is going on..
I’m actually kinda really embarrassed about how lazy/ easily distracted i am… 2 months without an update after saying i will update as soon as possible..
In other news; the final chapter is almost done and should be up by tomorrow night or morning depending on where you live. I was going to make it one big chapter but then i was like nahh.. the title i wanted only worked for this part so here it is..
Attached song is ‘Hear your heart’ by James Bay, who is also who inspired by title for this chapter.. He has one of the best voices i have ever heard and i seriously recommend checking him out!
This is all! Thank you for sticking around even after all this time
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