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THE BUS RIDE TO TRINITY FEELS LIKE slipping into a world that’s both foreign and strangely familiar. It’s not my world; the cracked sidewalks, graffiti-tagged walls, and the hum of something unspoken lingering in the air.
But I chose this, didn’t I? I stepped onto that bus, ignored the judgmental glances at my pristine Royal Academy uniform from the locals, and came here.
By the time I step off the bus, nerves are twisting knots in my stomach. I’m in over my head, but turning back isn’t an option.
The name “Jude Walker” wasn’t hard to find. JJ mentioned him once, laughing about how everyone at TSS knew he was the guy to go to. At the time, I didn’t care. But now? Now, I need him.
I spot him leaning against the chain-link fence near the basketball courts with a few guys around him. He’s a teenager, just like me, though his worn hoodie and scuffed trainers make it clear we’re from entirely different worlds. He’s watching the game his friends are playing, but when I approach, his eyes flick to me, sharp and assessing.
“Well, this is interesting,” he says, straightening up. His voice is light, but his gaze is anything but.
“You Jude Walker?” I ask, trying to keep my voice steady as he towers over me while his friends grin at each other.
He tilts his head, eyes still assessing me like I’m cop or something. “Depends. Who’s asking?”
“I need something,” I mutter.
He raises his brows, confusion written all over his face.
“Can you help or not?” I huff.
His brows furrow at my words, or more like my strong tone, before he nods his head towards the isolated corner on the court and starts walking to it. I stand there like an idiot before quickly deciding to catch up.
“So what do you need?” he asks.
“Something to make me go numb,” I answer, the words tumbling out before I can second-guess myself.
He blinks, then chuckles softly. “Numb? That’s specific.” He steps closer, lowering his voice. “What’s a girl from Royal Academy doing here looking for something like that?”
“I know what you’re thinking,” I say before he can press further.
His eyebrows rise slightly, his smirk still in place. “What?”
“Judging me or something.”
“I’m not, Academy,” he replies, shaking his head. “Everyone has their own problems, even the ones that people can’t notice on the first glance.”
I swallow deeply. “Never thought I’d deal with them like this, though.”
He shrugs, pulling a small plastic bag from his hoodie pocket. “If this is what you want, it’s hard to get out of.”
My brows furrow, and I feel my stomach twist at his words. I wouldn’t let myself go that deep into this. I know I wouldn’t.
This isn’t even that serious. I just need something light. To help block out all the noise. That’s it.
“Don’t get to that point,” he adds, his tone quieter now.
“I won’t,” I reply firmly, though my voice wavers slightly.
“Don’t be so sure.” He hands me the bag of pills. “You’re going to come back for more.”
I shrug, not bothering to argue. I tried to deal without the pills and it didn’t last very long so he’s right, when they start to finish I’ll be back for more.
He studies me for a moment, then asks, “No one is protecting you? From all this?”
“No one knows,” I admit with a dry chuckle.
“Shit…” he breathes out, shaking his head slightly. Shit indeed.
I guess it’s better that way though. No one can judge me for this if they don’t know.
He starts talking, explaining to me the many ways I can take the pills and how to be safe with them which is kind of ironic in a way. I hum and nod my head at the right cues while my eyes scan his face. Buzz cut, bright hazel eyes, bronze skin, sharp nose and jaw line. I can’t help but think I’ve seen him before.
Curiosity flickers in my chest and it gets the better of me. “Didn’t you used to play football?”
His eyes narrow, his posture stiffening. “Yeah. Why?”
Knew it.
“I think you’ve played against my brother,” I say, searching his face for recognition.
He lets out a dry laugh. “Biggest rivalry, huh? Royal Academy.”
“What happened?” I ask, tilting my head. “You stopped playing.”
His expression darkens, and for a moment, I think he won’t answer. But then he lets out a bitter sigh.
“Football doesn’t pay my bills,” he says flatly. “Drugs do.”
The bluntness of his words stuns me into silence, but he keeps going.
“It sounds fucked up, I know. But not all of us come from money. My mum has three jobs and my little siblings need new shoes every other month. I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do to keep us living.”
I watch him carefully, his words settling over me like a weight. There’s no bravado in his voice, no pride. Just raw, unflinching reality.
“That’s…” I start, but I don’t know how to finish the sentence.
“Yeah,” he cuts in, his lips twisting into a humorless smile. “Save the pity. I don’t need it.”
I nod, unsure what else to say. His life is so far removed from mine that I can barely process it, but his words stick with me.
“You good?” Jude asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah,” I reply quickly, gripping my bag tighter. “Thanks.”
“Don’t thank me just yet, Academy,” he says as he walks back towards his friends. “You’ll be here again.”
I don’t respond, already walking away, the pills in my pocket feeling heavier with each step.
Why did I come here?
The question burns into my mind but the answer is obvious. No matter how much I try to hold myself together. Weak, desperate, and looking for a way to make my miserable self feel better.
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out to see ‘Dad’ written on it.
I wonder how he would react if he knows where I am right now; if he knows what I just bought.
Disappointed for sure. But the truth is, he’s always disappointed in me anyways. So this? It shouldn’t matter to him. As long as he and mum don’t know -and they won’t- it’s just one more secret I have to bury. The weight of the pills in my pocket feels like a physical burden as I walk through the cracked streets, each step heavy with guilt and uncertainty.
I consider ignoring the call but I think about the inevitable questions if I don’t answer, the suspicion that might lead to something worse.
I swipe to answer and bring the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Carmen,” his voice comes through, stern but not angry. It’s his usual tone, always laced with an unspoken expectation. “Where are you?”
I glance around at the unfamiliar neighborhood, the chain-link fences, and the kids running on the street with their school uniform still on. “I’m on my way home.”
A pause. “You’re not at the Academy?”
“I’m with Valeria and JJ,” I reply, my voice clipped. “We went to the cafe near school.”
Dad sighs, the sound of disappointment clear even through the static. “You should’ve called.”
You don’t even care. I bite back a sharp retort, knowing it’ll only lead to an argument. “I’ll be home soon.”
“Good. Felix and I are training when I get back. You’re not planning on going anywhere, are you?”
“No,” I reply, my tone flat. “I’ll be home.”
“He needs help with his English assignment and you know… you’re good with that,” he says.
See, I knew it. He didn’t ask me where I was because he cared, he asked so I can do Felix’ homework. He doesn’t even need school. As soon as he’s done he’s signing for a club.
“Sure,” I mutter out, careful not to scoff.
“Thanks, mija.”
The call ends abruptly, leaving me staring at the phone screen. I shove my phone into my pocket and start walking, my thoughts racing. As I turn the corner, I see a familiar figure in the distance.
Aaron.
My heart lurches, and I instinctively duck behind a parked car, peeking around the edge. He’s wearing his Royal Academy football uniform, his duffel bag slung over one shoulder. But he’s not alone. Walking beside him is a young girl—maybe thirteen or so—but she looks nothing like him. She has long red hair and bright blue eyes that I can see from here while he has black hair and green eyes.
I watch as she nibbles at the sandwich in her hand as they walk.
“Is it good? You like it?”
I can hear Aaron’s voice, clear and warm.
The girl nods enthusiastically, her cheeks puffed out as she chews. Aaron laughs softly, his expression relaxed and open in a way I’ve rarely seen before. There’s something about the way he talks to her, the way his posture softens, that makes me pause.
A sister? I never knew he had a sister.
They continue walking, their steps easy and unhurried. Connie glances down at the girl occasionally, as if to make sure she’s keeping up. There’s a tenderness in his movements, an unspoken care that catches me off guard.
I stay hidden, my heart thudding in my chest as I watch them make a right turn down another street. Only when they’re out of sight do I finally step out from my hiding spot, my mind buzzing with questions.
I know nothing about him, I just realise. I know so little about him beyond the surface; the football star, the charming boy who has girls on him left and right. But seeing him like this, with his little sister, adds a new layer to the picture. It’s… unexpected.
I shake my head, trying to clear the thoughts as I start walking again, heading toward the bus stop. The streets are quieter now, the hum of the city settling into a slower rhythm.
When I reach the stop, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out to see a message from Valeria.
Val ❤︎:
Hey, missed you at the end of the day. Everything good?
I stare at the text for a moment, my chest tightening. I know she means well, but the weight of my secrets feels heavier than ever. Still, I can’t leave her hanging.
Me:
Yeah of course, mum just needed me home quick xx
I tuck my phone away and glance down the street, waiting for the bus to appear. But my mind drifts back to Connie and the girl with the bright blue eyes. He has a life outside of Royal Academy, outside of the pitch.
For some reason, that thought lingers longer than it should.
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