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๐
Three by five
ft. Fuck crushes
” ๋ ์๋กํ ์์ด ๋ ์๋ค “
–
A few years back, Scaramoucheโ or back then, Kunikuzushi had a nickname amongst his peers. Something along the lines of finals zombie, that mysteriously emerged from whatever hole he buried himself in whenever exam season rolled around after never showing up on campus since welcomings at the year’s beginning. Maybe two days or so before the hellish weeks began, he would make his way into the library in a shirt he rolled out of bed from with the sandals and shorts combination. Then for the next ten hours, he just sat at a seat and watched a few of the lectures videos from his phone, and leave.
His name was always somewhere along the top twenty. People said he once even fell asleep during an exam by the beginning and woke up in the last thirty minutes. That one, he also miraculously passed.
Absolutely no one had fathomed he would become a high school teacher of all occupations.
Kazuha had met Kunikuzushi during their final year in college, while both of them were finishing their education degrees. He was even there when Kunikuzushi one day decided to change his alias, and refused to collaborate on why. They got along surprisingly well despite clashing personalities. Well, there wasn’t really anyone the blonde teacher didn’t get along well with due to his relaxed demeanour. Although he rarely showed it, Scaramouche enjoyed his friend’s presence whenever Kazuha nudged through the sarcastic remarks.
Even the english teacher never expected spring to come to his dear friend‘s heart. Both of them were frozen in spot after Kazuha’s blurting question that pierced through the space between them like a fiery arrow, flames consuming whatever normalcy that was there before.
” Do you have feelings for ms. L/n? “
The question dropped in his mind, repeating and looping like ripples. Shaking up the surface on its first landing, endless circular stripes spreading across the whole body until it reached the ends before bouncing back endlessly. Scaramouche’s hand remained paused in the air in his last position of reaching out to push the doors to the rehearsal space, that was sounding oddly quiet since a few seconds ago.
” โUntil further examination, you are diagnosed with a crush.”
He swallowed thickly, mouth hanging slightly ajar. As seconds began to tick away, Kazuha began to grow concerned at his coworker’s dazed state. Scaramouche finally lowered the raised hand back to his side, hair tucked behind his ear loosely curtaining the side of his face visible to Kazuha. But he already had a good idea on what his expression currently looked like. “…Where do you hear such nonsense?” He managed to snap back after realizing his prolonged silence. “Those adolescents jittering baseless stories around after one glance again. I imagined you knew better than to open your ears for their superficial views.” His last sentence cracked slightly as he cursed silently, biting his tongue.
“A hunch, I suppose..?” Kazuha nervously smiled with a shrug. “Your expression looks a lot brighter these days mr. Raiden. Not to mention, I heard the two of you are roommates?”ย “Living together has no relation on this matter.” What was he going to do with this man who had the emotional intelligence or understanding ability of a shrimp… A silent prayer of encouragement was sent to the art teacher currently being rushed to the backstage with a lighting problem as the excuse. The poor students were probably in the midst of a heart attack.
Scaramouche suppressed the urge to just turn his heels and flee back to his classroom where he could just close the door and contemplate in silence, or work the thoughts away. His head was an overflowing mess, constantly being swirled up into a storm by the churning sensation bubbling in his stomach. Ugh.. That stupid green haired doctorโ he knew there was something wrong with his health as of recently. “I would personally argue that spending more than half the day with someone, both in workplace and at home, where both are in their most vulnerable state.. Would at least do something between two people, isn’t it a quite reasonable thinking?” Kazuha challenged with a smile that was turning ever so slightly smuger by the seconds that passed by.
“Think about it Scaramouche. No offence, but have you ever had someone you interacted more with in your entire life?”
“I didn’t know this was a slandering session about social skills. For your information, I willingly step back from senseless relationships that will bring no benefit whatsoever by wasting my time and energy.” Scoffing as though he heard a ridiculous joke, the math teacher crossed his arms stiffly. Kazuha discreetly checked the time whole his company was clearly distracted with none other than his own thoughts. It had been almost ten minutes since.. The kids should probably be ready hiding Y/n by now. “โBeyond that, I can tell you clearly tolerate her at the very least. Would you have done half of the things ms. L/n does regarding you if she were any other teacher?” He hummed.
Trashing his room with her crude decorations, leaving recyclable garbage with words on his desk every day, randomly appearing in his classroom to draw on the whiteboard with one of her sparkly markers that never quite completely rubbed off no matter how hard it was scrubbed, poking fun at him in front of both his and her students, switching his coffee packet out for a vanilla latte and laughing to the point others were concerned she may choke, barging into his room to show him random sketches she drew earlier that day or ask him baseless questions, cackling over one of that Sumeru teacher’s rudimentary excuses for jokes and telling him ever detail about it. Thinking back, he must’ve been a saint descended down from the heavens to have tolerated everything and leaving his coworker in one piece until now.
He still remembered one of her little notes. The glitter from her gel pen always stuck to his fingerpads whenever he picked it up from the drawer to stare at it again, refusing to leave for the next few days despite his aggressive hand washing. Recently, he stopped taking that specific page out. Reason?
..The fruity smell of the scented markers used to doodle at the bottom was head-shattering. (He didn’t want it to fade as quickly)
A lavender three by five inch notepad that had tiny doodles of what looked to be their cat at the bottom. That day, he somehow found himself in an awkward conversation with his mother, who happened to be the principal of his department which left both of their moods sour. In the flurry of nauseating emotions, he roughly brushed past Y/n, who was about to make her way towards him for a conversation. The smell of iron from the lockers nearby and paint musk that always came from the art room lingered in the air. Y/n’s shadow stretched out on the ground that invited the orange evening lights in while the other shadow stomped off without ever sparing her a glance.
When he returned to his class to pack his things and leave, the next door class was already locked and dark. She usually departed an hour or two before him, so this was normal. But a baseless sense of disappointment brushed over his shoulders, which Scaramouche instantly brushed off to wither and linger on the ground of his classroom.
A three by five notepad. Probably bought in a bulk pack at a stationary shop somewhere in the town. Bubbly teal letters practically yelling the writer’s voice reading them out.
Whatever happened, I’m sure it’s not your fault ๐ ill make unagi chazuke tonight
A three by five inch piece of paper that could be ripped to shreds and would no longer exist as what it was. That’s how worthless it was. But that paper contained the words he longed for, to hear from someone else, not for anyone else but him. For someone to confidently say it while knowing who he was, what he normally did, and just was.
“…..”
“….^^”
“I’ll be taking my leave.”
In what way should the little side quest be considered a success? The fact that mr. Raiden was successfully kept out from the rehearsal and possibly encountering me. L/n on stage, or the faint flush on his cheeks that Kazuha could just barely observe as his friend stomped away.
That day, mr. Raiden clocked off mysteriously early. Most that did manage to catch a glimpse of him assumed he had a fever of some kind with that tomato-complexion.
This couldn’t possibly be happening.
Scaramouche thrashed in his bed and immediately flopped back motionless once the reality hit him like a truck. Actually, he would have preferred to get blown away by a truck at this point. What was he, a lovesick teenage cliche?? A sense of deja vu struck, but the mess before his mind blurred out everything and anything. The reality of being alive was almost too much to handle at the said moment. So he lay there, frozen in time and trapped in his head.
Confusion that brought tightness to the chest that left him dizzy and further dragged him away from the world. Denial that further upset the chaotic influx and further contributed to the storm. Everything about him was clashing against each other like rough waves hitting the shoreline rocks, bouncing and threatening to overflow.
Fear.
Crushes are a superficial thing, Scaramouche believed firmly. An immaturely shallow version of love, childish and lacking meaning usually shared by teens that were still confused on their own emotions. Physical attraction or romanticized versions of another person, only looking at them through the rose-coloured glasses one frames and builds expectations around that individual. He had seen much in his life. The disappointment people go through when the tinted views break and their honey-drizzled ideas about their romanticized person also disappearing along with it once their flaws begin to emerge out between the cracks.
Flaws.
When Y/n laid against her own doorstep, covered in cold sweat and eye makeup melted from tears. Rambles that often made the listener physically cringe. When she sat on the couch, hopelessly raising the tv’s volume in empty hopes of filling the silence’s void that ate everything out within her body. Her panicked expression after seeing she stained one of his dress shirts with paint that transferred from one of her pants in the washer.
Those were just some of the ugly flaws about the seemingly untouchable her unveiled before him during their time together. Someone who immediately got everyone around herself swooned over her, yet never noticed. Who always managed to slid over talking about herself, yet remembered even the smallest details about others. So, after having that image clearly shattered in pieces and splayed for him to see the bare shell that was still somehow covered, did he feel the furrowing disappointment? Embarrassment that his expectations weren’t fulfilled?
His pathetic episodes when every drop of will to exist would escape from his body through each breath he exhaled. Room flipped into a disgusting mess, wanting to disappear into his bed. She barged in through the door and chased off the shadows that were a finger away from clawing onto his ribcages with a single motion, sliding the curtains open with a raised brow. Almost talking to herself in light scoldings while picking up the empty coffee cans and tossing them into the trash.
…..
“…Sorry about thatโ”
“Fuck you.”
Y/n blinked, taken aback by the quick reply that cut her off. When she looked up from her hands, a pair of navy eyes peered into hers with an unimpressed look.
“Hah….” He sighed. “The first thing you have to say to me is that you’re sorry?”ย “I mean.. Considering I kind of broke down on the front door without saying anything and just crying on the ground.” She shrugged with a thoughtless expression. Scaramouche nearly slapped his forehead. Hundreds of words he wanted to slap even harder into her mind.
Shut up….
“…..Now!”
Within a blink, students opened doors from all sides- from the principal’s office, lounge, and from behind the counters.
“Happy birthday mr. Raiden!”
Scaramouche stood and blinked, slowly looking around his surroundings. Most jumped out from hiding spots such as behind counters and the nurse’s room that was connected to the main office. He was able to make out familiar faces of his homeroom, and Y/n’s. A few of them held a cake nearby with candles flickering in their small movements. Some were popping party poppers, but everyone was collectively watching for the teacher’s reaction. “You-“
A sigh escaped his lips, as the teacher looked down and indigo bangs covered his face. Y/n turned her head towards him in anticipation, then around the crowd with a nervous lip bite. Everyone looked at one another with horrified expressions, assuming things went downhill.
“You’re all idiots.”
…His mind was going to melt.
“Are you alright? I am so sorry, here.”
Offering a hand towards the violet haired male, Y/n smiled apologetically. To her surprise, he merely scoffed and got up on his own. Retreating her rejected hand, she awaited his response.
“Watch where you’re going.” He remorselessly hissed, soon walking off into the hallways.
That was the first ever words they exchanged.
Well… Not exactly the first.
Their true first encounter takes back almost ten years ago.
โ
“That L/n in top ten again?”
“Who else do you think. Well.. At least I’m not in last place.”
“Be so serious right now. Mondstadt barely has any people, and you’re somehow in the last fifty!”
Finals finally ending, it was every students’ dreaded time. The entire school’s average grades came out and ranked everyone, one for the whole secondary, and seven for each department. But considering many students were in two or more departments, the school-wide one was the one that attracted most eyes. Everyone had crowded around the giant poster board that proudly displayed numbers with full names right next to them, some reaching their phones out to zoom in so they could find their own names. Most of them knew whether to focus their cameras to the left-top side or the bottom corner.
“Shh, there she is. Over there!” A finger was discreetly pointed towards the h/c haired girl who was expectantly looking into the board, pursing her lips once her eyes locked with the rank of the name. “She’s actually kind of pretty… Considering the state the whole top 100 is, she looks like a model.” Another girl whispered to her friend, gesturing towards rank number 43 that looked like the living dead that barely crawled his way to school, eyebags practically reaching down to his cheeks.
Y/n chewed on the inside of her cheek. 8… She barely managed to strike top ten this year. Her parents’ words were already resonating in her head.
A few rows down from number eight, around the mid seventies, belonging to a name that everyone always swore shouldn’t be there. None other than the principal’s son, Raiden Kunikuzushi. It was doubtful that anyone in Inazuma department hadn’t heard of his name at the very least. A cynical lackluster who graced the classroom with his presence every other day either to use the desk as a napping bed or boredly spin his pen around.
Most people speculated he somehow got away because he was the principal’s son, a fair assumption. He practically only showed his face for important tests or projects which he took interest in (once in a blue moon.)
To the chosen ones that managed to be assigned in a group project with him, they strongly went against the rumours. The indigo haired boy may have had a hole in his attendance list and had half the assignments overdue by the end of their semester, but he wasn’t one of the assholes that left his group mates do all the work in a project. Not to mention his God-carved face card. Idolding and modeling agencies by the gates were always hot after his tail whenever the bell rung.
Y/n brushed a lock of stray hair behind her ear and nervously straightened out the navy blue uniform. She couldn’t bring herself to open the message notification with the contact name Mom. She always got an earful whenever she didn’t pick up messages right away, but the punishments could be avoided if she reasoned that the silence mode was on for concentration during studying.
What did she even want to do anyways?
..Well, that didn’t matter that much anyways. Her mother had already planned out her future from tip to the top, word by word and step by step. Exactly how many years she should be in post-secondary, the extracurriculars she should join, the experiences she needed to make. This was all for her own good, countless children ruined their futures with uncaring parents.
Right?
Shaking her head, Y/n swallowed another greedy gulp of air, holding it in for a few seconds. Her exhale nearly choked up as her body unknowingly made impact against something.
“..Watch where you’re going.” A deeper voice hissed in an unwelcoming manner followed by an annoyed groan. Scrambling up, Y/n rubbed her sore shoulder and reached a good hand out to help the poor bystander back up. The figure on the ground ignored her gesture and stood up by himself instead.
‘Rude much.’
Swallowing the thought with an apologetic smile, the girl placed her hand by her side again. “I’m so sorry.. I was distracted because of the grade rankings that came out.” She awkwardly chuckled, only to be met with a deadpan expression. Who was this guy-
Oh. The infamous face. That striking blue hair was noticeable in seas of crowds.
The student she recognized as Kunikuzushi clicked his tongue while brushing off the sleeve of his uniform. His tie was missing- never mind, poking out of his pocket, blazer unbuttoned, and… Footwear she’d expect to see from someone in a grocery store that rolled out of their bed for a cup ramen at an unholy hour in the morning. She internally freaked out each time she managed to catch a glimpse of his appearance.
“..What are you staring at? Might as well as ask for an autograph while you’re at it.” He snapped after half a moment passed. Y/n quickly blinked out of her trance and hastily bowed. “A-ah. Sorry again, I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.” Taken aback by his snippy tone, Y/n soon shuffled aside so she wasn’t blocking his path.
His tone sounded too much like the ones she constantly heard at home.
As though something struck a cord within him, Kunikuzushi’s violet-navy eyes lingered on the girl’s face for a little longer than they should have. One would think that he was staring into a mirror, his reflection instead of someone else.
“…Just a friendly advice.” Giving her a judgemental up and down look, he shoved his hands back in his pockets. “Sucking up to some letters on papers aren’t saving the world.” The boy breathed out of his nose and ran a hand through his locks, walking to the direction he was heading before the fateful collision.
Just like that, he disappeared as fast as he came, leaving a comment that would forever linger in her mind without knowing the owner of the voice.
Y/n was left standing dumbstruck, blinking. Ugh.. That guy. She sighed and fixed the cuffs of her blazers and followed suit.
To her dismay(?), that wasn’t the last of their encounters. At immaculate timings and coincidences, the pair often bumped into each other or got tangled into situations together. It was a statement to say that the student body’s president could not tolerate that boy. His pessimistic responses could be brushed off for only so long, and he could not stand “suck-ups”, as he named them. And Y/n just so happened to be in that imaginary list of his.
He would often mock her with a blank look about her unnecessary efforts that would one day end up as a part of the capitalistic society’s labour workers. Who was heโ some ancient elder with transcendent wisdom??
But as time passed by, the girl refused to recall much memories about her younger years, while the boy ended up on a path fate’s wind wisped him off to. In the end, both of them kept their encounters deep in their memories to never bring it out again until almost a decade later.
Perhaps right person, wrong timing. Then again, time is a funny thing.
โ
Scaramouche only recalled the name Y/n L/n fairly recently while organizing his things back from high school. The president of the student council for two years straight, founder and co-vice of countless different student charity organizations within and outside school. Name always found somewhere on the podium if not at the top. He doubted that she recalled the same memories based on her actions so far, but he could have a faint grasp on why after hearing the story regarding what happened by the end of her senior year with her parents.
People naturally avoid what they feel are too much or handle while gravitating towards things they are attracted to.
They were infamous for bickering and going into heated debates every given opportunity back then. But every once in a while, they would just sit together on the roof once the final period’s bell rung and stared off into the city below them. A mother pushing a stroller across the sidewalk. A couple walking a tiny dog while laughing, crossing the road. Neither of them would open their mouths in that serene moment, but the one-step between them felt nonexistent.
A reach up, and they would kiss god’s face up in the skylines. And when the sun was halfway closing down the horizon, she would say she had to leave and turn around.
She never knew the eyes that would follow her stretching shadow that finally cut off when the doors shut behind her. Nor the empty heart and the shaky chest that she left behind.
Fuck it.
Nevermind crushes, he was in fucking love.
โโ
A/n finally some progress between these two that gave me premature white hair. I always say ill take a bit to update the next chap then upload it in that same week
NOT PROOFREAD SOMEONE DO IT FOR ME
WHO INVENTED SUMMER CLASSES FUCK YOU I HOPE YOU FART THINKING ITS A SILENY FART BUT ITS SHIT DIARRHEA INSYEAD
anyways mechanism will be held on a bit of a pause again bc idk what to do with it ๐ someone plsplspls give me ideas notes and promise is draining my juices
ill also be making their interactions during high school its own seperate chapters in the future so look forward to that too ๐บ
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