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💌
Happy birthday mr. Raiden!
ft. test rituals with ms l/n
” ᴀʟʟ ᴅᴀʏ “
–
Everyone in mr. Raiden’s homeroom were nervously staring at each other. They had expected the said teacher to be in a rather good mood for his birthday, but it turned out to be the opposite.
A terrifying expression laid out across his sharp features, waves of atmosphere screaming leave me alone in six different languages radiated off the man. Scaramouche typed (slammed) away at the computer, his eyes illuminated by the screen. The scene felt like seeing mr. Raiden back in the days- before the next door teacher’s arrival… It appeared his own homeroom was softened and spoiled by the recent demeanor of their teacher.
The bell finally rung, and the students began lining out of the classroom in their alphabetical orders. Scaramouche didn’t utter a word since the beginning of the day, and still didn’t. A few students gathered up by the corners and huddled in a small circle.
“We’re done for… What do we do???”
“Hey hey, what do you mean?”
Shinobu massaged her temple and turned to the students from Raiden’s class. They stared at everyone supposedly in the art teacher’s homeroom, expecting an answer. “Ms. L/n is not here.”
Silence. Even more silence. Tearing silence. They simply stood there, as if somebody has pressed the pause button in the background.
“WHAT???!”
☆
Yae burst out in laughter as she placed a hand by her mouth and grabbed onto the desk for support. All the teenagers backed away nervously, either intimidated or worried by her actions. “-Pff.. Let me get this straight.” She opened one eye while still laughing, looking at the students in her classroom. “So ms. L/n and you guys prepared a birthday party for that demon, and today is the d-day. But she’s not here, correct?”
Nilou looked around before mustering up the courage to answer. “Unfortunately, that is the case… We were wondering if you could contact ms. L/n for us. She wouldn’t respond to any of our texts or calls.” Everyone else mentally thanked Nilou for asking the question in their place. Miko was scary in her own way.
The pink haired female finally let out her last few chuckles before agreeing. She pulled out her phone and began texting in messages, while everyone just stood there in silence. She soon looked up from her phone and smiled teasingly. “It seems that she won’t answer to me either. L/n usually responds in the next minute when you text her.”
Yanfei placed a hand on her chin in thought. “…Doesn’t mr. Raiden live with her? Why don’t we ask him instead?” Hu Tao looked around before smiling awkwardly. “I think we all know that would lead to my business thriving triple the amount later on today.”
They were one of the only people who knew that mr. Raiden and Y/n shared a house (thanks to being her favourite students). Scaramouche wasn’t aware there were students who knew of his situation in the first place, and he would actually murder someone if word got out.
Yae chuckled in amusement as she sipped on her coffee. “Relax kiddos~ Since this is an entertaining show to watch, I’ll text him for you.”
Scaramouche
Jan 3, 2023
You
Wheres y/n? I needed to
give her papers.
Scaramouche
Sick.
Read at 9 : 02 AM
“Well, there you have your answers.” Miko showed her short conversation to the students as they leaned in and squinted their eyes. Panic settled on once again. Itto was backed away by the corner, avoiding Yae’s gaze, Sara was on her phone typing something, while the rest huddled together once more.
“What are we going to do? Ms. L/n has all the main plans, and she was supposed to lead mr. Raiden to the location…”
“Maybe we can have the substitute do it?”
“Hell no, she’s a bitchass whore.”
“Damn, is she that bad?”
“She took away fifteen phones and sent three of us down to detention for dress code stuff. I swear I can see her tits through her shirt tho-“
“Hey, focus!”
Sara turned back to the main group while waving her phone in hand. “Ms. L/n replied back to me. She said she’ll be here halfway through third period to drop off the cake depending on her condition.” She showed her screen revealing a series of text messages between herself and the said teacher. The gloomy atmosphere changed to as if Sara had just saved the world. Miko continued to observe silently with a smirk, enjoying the situation.
“You better get going, my next class should be coming in soon.” Everyone looked at their phones for the time before jumping in realization. “Thanks ms. Yae!” Like that, her room temporarily became empty once more.
Meanwhile, a certain teacher was still slamming his fingers away at the computer.
Scaramouche could’ve sworn he heard a crack from one of the keyboard letters, but he didn’t bother to look down at it. He ignored the empty feeling trying to crawl its way up, squashing it down even further. But the lack of background noise somehow made it harder than ever to concentrate.
By this time, somebody should be already making herself at home on the side of his desk. After a minute of staring at the decorations in his class from her first day, she would begin blabbering about random things while doodling on the whiteboard. Scaramouche would (pretend to) ignore her one sided conversation and continue whatever he was doing prior, thinking (convincing himself) that she was annoying.
Now, the hollow silence and the ticking of the clock was about to drive him to insanity. This was one of the rare times he admitted her obnoxious voice was a better background noise than.. Whateve this was.
To be fair.. He is the cause of why she isn’t here.
☆
“*cough* I told you- I’m perfectly fine, a mask and a pill and I should be as good as new- *cough cough*” Scaramouche placed a hand on her forehead before scowling at her stubbornness. Even if his hands were cold, he knew that she was nowhere near average temperature. “Stop being stubborn and just email the school. It’s just a day, it’s not even that big of a deal.”
She looked like she wanted to say something, but kept her mouth closed. Instead, she followed him around like a duckling and began listing the reasons why she should go to work.
In the end, she gave up.
Y/n ended up getting tired of trying to gaslight herself and laid on her bed, lifting the blanket each time she had to cough. She shivered, but could feel her body was on fire at the same time. A sad sigh left her chapped lips. The door gently clicked open, which revealed her roommate in a disposable mask on his face. “I contacted the school. Your sick day was used, you’re staying home until tomorrow at the very least.”
He placed down something on her desk, and put down a glass of water by the night stand. Y/n sat up straight and reached for the drawer of the nightstand, pulling out fever painkillers from it. Scaramouche immediately snatched it away from her grip. “Do you even know how strong these things are? You’ll end up throwing up on an empty stomach.” He scolded while looking at the label. “And these are expired- since 2016.” She grumbled something inaudible before throwing the blanket on top of herself completely.
“L/n… Come on. Just get up and eat.” The said female stayed as she was in the blanket cocoon. Scaramouche sighed, sounds of metal clinking soon following. She had the coverage thrown off her, resulting in a whine of protest.
As soon as her eyes opened, she was met by a spoon in front of her. “Eat. I’ll shove it down your throat if you ‘don’t have the appetite’ ” He stated with a deadpan face, holding the spoon up to her mouth. Why did this feel like a deja vu..
“I’m not really- mmph-” Her sentence was interrupted by something entering her mouth. The rich smell of potatoes and meat filled her senses as she subconsciously licked the contents up. Scaramouche soon took the spoon back out and placed it in her grasp. Y/n rolled her eyes and began eating the soup bite by bite, while her coworker watched like a hawk by the side.
Soon enough, the bowl was empty and her stomach was full. Scaramouche snatched the bowl and spoon out of her grip and headed downstairs. She blinked, processing what just happened.
“Maybe I’m a bit high instead of sick today..”
“I heard that.”
“No you didn’t.”
“Shut up and lay back down.”
“Gaslighted, gatekept, girlbossed and slayed even while high~”
Scaramouche stared at her with a disgusted expression. “Maybe I’ll send you to the mental clinic instead.. What are you doing-“
The morning was spent with a blue haired male chasing around the sick teacher while yelling incoherent curses.
☆
Scaramouche groaned and ruffled his hair in frustration. He leaned back on the chair, facing the ceiling- which was the only part of the classroom that had escaped the next door teacher’s decorations. For unexplainable reasons… He wanted nothing more than to punch the non-existent life out of the plain white ceiling at that moment.
The bell rung, indicating the end of break. Halls began flooding with charters and the sounds of locker slamming, but was near dead silent by room 206. The next class began filling the classroom one by one, everyone quickly taking their supplies out and silently waiting for instructions. For some reason, the lack of noise from room 205 made things even more distracting. Even the art room was a void of laughter and music, now just filled with graphite scratching on the surface of papers or clay occasionally slamming onto the table.
The silence was choking everything and everyone within the next mile. To think the absence of a single teacher made this much of a difference..
“Please excuse the interruption. Would Hu Tao and Yanfei of Liyue department, Kujou Sara in Inazuma, Nilou of Sumeru departments report to the Inazuma main office? Thank you.”
The announcement speakers broke the silence. Scaramouche raised a brow at the familiar names, but brushed it off. He soon snapped his head to the class who were all ready and facing the whiteboard with pencils in hand. “We’ll be reviewing advanced pythagorean 11. Hand in your homework by my desk when you get out.”
Yanfei and Hu Tao walked side by side through the hallways. They spotted Nilou in the distance, and soon caught up with her. “Nilou! You’re going to the office too, right?” The redhead soon turned around, a smile on her lips. “Mhm. I’m glad I found you two to walk with… Walking through Teyvat main halls is kind of awkward.”
Yanfei nodded in understanding. “I feel that. This is probably ms. L/n dropping off the cake, but I wonder why four students? I was thinking Sara would be sent alone to avoid suspicion.”
The three walked in silence for a moment, all drowned in their own thoughts. Hu Tao pierced through the void of noise. “Maybe she was on her deathbed and came to send her last goodby-“
“My favorite students!”
A familiar voice came from ahead, as the three raised their heads. Y/n was standing by the glass sliding doors of the office, waving enthusiastically towards the girls. “Ms. L/n! Are you feeling alright?” Hu Tao and Nilou rushed up ahead while Yanfei walked at a leisurely pace. The teacher rubbed the back of her head, giving an apologetic closed eye smile. Her expressions couldn’t really be seen with her facial mask.
“Definately feeling a lot better… I brought the cake for the main party!” She held a box in hand, plastic gloves covering her hands. Nilou took the box, as her class was the furthest away from Inazuma department. “Can you come to the party too? You don’t have to if you’re feeling unwell, but it would be a lot more lively with you there.”
She held up the small tag on her shirt. “I am! I even got a visitor pass since it’s not my official teach day. I basically get to roam around or lounge around the office until the end of the day~” The three cheered at the news, Nilou being careful to not drop the cake. Y/n chatted with them for a while, before the three eventually had to return to their class. Yanfei went back to her English, Nilou said her foods teacher would allow her to keep the cake in the fridge, while Hu Tao insisted on staying behind.
The teacher knew she probably wanted to skip the class, but didn’t say anything. Hey, what normal student wouldn’t take advantage of a golden situation like this?
“-Like I said, my offer about the premium for the website is still open anytime you want!” The brunette leaned on the counter and smiled brightly, while Y/n sweatdropped. As soon as the brunette finished the sentence, a light bulb went off in her head. “Oh right, do you know who’s subbing for your class?”
Y/n tilted her head and squinted her eyes in thought. “Hmm.. Not really, the principal just texted me that there’s a decent sub available so I just agreed. Is she fun?” Hu Tao shook her head to the point her pigtails flopped around her face. “Nope. She’s a total asshole, she took my phone and told me I can’t go to the washroom. Crusty white lady.”
The older female’s brow raised at the statement and twirled the pen in her grip in thought. Another reason she was on the borderline of being fired but loved by students- she didn’t mind swearings in reasonable situations. Teyvat was a pretty strict school, especially in certain departments. “Tao, what class were you in before you got pulled out?” “Marketing..?” She got up from the chair, before taking off the visitor tag. Y/n wrote a small note on a sticky note, before heading on towards the principal’s office. Hu Tao awkwardly stood there for a minute before her teacher emerged out of the room with a satisfied expression.
“I’m back on the job kid. Let’s go kick that dusty karen out.”
“But what if mr. Raiden notices?”
“My poor babies trapped in that prison matters more than that bowl cut right now.”
☆
The last period was around ten minutes away, and pencil scratching against papers filled the room. Scaramouche was marking tests from last week, while this current class was also taking one. He had strict rules for test days.
1. Absolute silence throughout the entire period, if you finish, check over. If you finish that, do it again.
2. A single word uttered and an immediate zero for the entire subject.
3. Crying is allowed, but if he hears you sobbing, zero for the subject.
4. No wiping tears on the exam paper or getting teardrops on the page.
He found it pretty reasonable, especially that he allowed students to cry. And he meant it perfectly sincerely when he said he would give a zero to the entire semester should these rules be broken.
Suddenly, the sounds of yelling and objects flailing came from outside the shut door. Thumpings soon echoed throughout the halls, before a certain class cheered loudly. The once silent room 205 was now bustling with sounds of chatter and prescence once more. The Raiden’s students looked around at each other for a moment, before realizing that ms. L/n is probably back.
They silently cheered for the class, and continued writing the test. Despite the obnoxious noises, it somehow made most of their pencils seem less heavy in their grip. Scaramouche turned his head to the side and listened in closely. He sighed softly when he heard a familiar voice across from the short hallway.
Meanwhile…
“All hail ms. L/n!”
The entire class bowed upon her entrance, as Hu Tao was by her side, shaking a piece of cardboard by her like a fan. Y/n twirled her hair dramatically before motioning towards her chair. A student immediately brought over the seat right beneath her, as she sat down slowly and crossed her legs. “No more fanning, my hair is getting frizzled up.”
The brunette immediately threw the cardboard somewhere near the rows of students, before standing in a perfect salute. The teacher finally broke down and began to burst out in laughter, and the class joined in. Most took back their devices in the locked drawer, and was given double the amount of candy they would have received in a day. Sadly, the bell soon rung, and it was time to switch out classes.
Hu Tao grabbed an extra chocolate on her way, receiving an eye roll from the teacher. She stuck out her tongue before running down through the hallway.
Many students popped by in the art room, mostly mr. Raiden’s students. One of them called out to her. “Ms. L/n!! Mr. Raiden is out of class, we need your help, quick!”
She crooned her neck to see what was going on, before getting up and moving towards the classroom across. Upon entrance, she saw half of the students either on the verge of crying, while the other half was already crying. “We have a test today.. None of us remembered…… Can you give us a five minute review on quadric functions???” “Mr. Raiden took all the textbooks so we couldn’t review.. I’m done for this semester.”
The teacher stood there in thought, trying to remember what the word “quadric” even meant. Hu Tao suddenly entered the room with dramatic movements, beside Y/n.
“I have an idea, I can guarantee an A plus for each one of you that follows it!”
“Hu Tao, didn’t you just leave…?”
☆
“What the hell…”
-was the first thing that came out of Scaramouche’s mouth as soon as he entered the class with freshly photocopied papers. He stared with either disgust or disbelief at the scene unfolded in front of him.
All of his students were circled around a familiar teacher, in a kneeling position on the floor. There was a brunette in two pigtails fanning Y/n, who was in the center. A small mini fan was in her grasp, as she circled around the teacher and muttered incoherent things. The rest of the teens had empty candy wrappers laid out in front of them as they… Prayed..? The said teacher was busy folding a kitkat wrapper into something, Hu Tao careful to not blow away the piece of plastic.
“Please let me score at least a 70% on this one… I can’t sleep outside the back yard agai-“
“This chocolate fucking slaps, holy shit.”
“Let me pass this test today, great candy fairy of 205…”
Scaramouche almost dropped his papers right then and there and quit the job. Y/n noticed the male and peeled her eyes off the now heart-shaped wrapper in her hands. “Mr. Raiden, good afternoon!” The rest of the students snapped their head and hurriedly went back to their desks, placing them back in their original arrangement. Hu Tao quietly escaped the room before she was yelled at further.
“….What is this.”
“Hey, it’s not like they were breaking any so called test day rules. From my remembrance, there wasn’t a rule called ‘No math test rituals with ms. L/n.‘ ” She twirled around to the door, which he was standing nearby. The students watched in amusement, but internally crying for their lives as soon as she were to leave the classroom.
“Well then, toodles~ Good luck children.” Just as she was about to leave, something grabbed onto the collar of her jacket. A thick atmosphere fell upon the room, as she was dragged back in front of the male teacher.
He sighed and placed two fingers on her forehead, as she blinked at his cold index. After a moment, Scaramouched scoffed upon realizing she no longer had a fever and let go of her.
“…What are you looking at. Grab the paper and get to it. The wasted five minutes aren’t coming back.”
☆
Scaramouche stared at the rainbow sun catchers on the window. The cat shaped one by the bottom was stuck to look like it was staring at the butterfly shaped ones by the top of the glass. He blinked as one of the rays blinded him for a moment.
“Scaramouche, you busy?” Y/n popped her head by the class, her voice slightly muffled by the face mask. She had taken off her gloves, but seemed careful not to touch anyone and constantly washed her hands. At least she had good sick manners.. “What do you want.” “I need to pick some extra supplies from Inazuma main office.. Could you come help?”
Her eyes sparkled as she clasped her hands together by the door. He ignored her and continued to type at his computer. “Just go home. I don’t need my students complaining about getting sick tomorrow.” “Pleeeeease..? I promise I’ll go straight back home after this.” Kunikuzushi sighed and closed the laptop. Y/n cheered in responce and began to lead the way.
The two walked, one of them talking their mouth away, the other listening. They passed by lockers and many empty hallways, before ending up by the glass doors of the main office. She slid the entrance open, revealing the wooden door to the teacher’s lounge.
“…..Now!”
Within a blink, students opened doors from all sides- from the principal’s office, lounge, and from behind the counters.
“Happy birthday mr. Raiden!”
—-
A/n sorry for not updating for a while, i was busy with life 😇
Boojina
Anyways school starts in not even 3 days im gonna cry wheres my glowup i manifested over 36183747 tiktok videos wheres my clingy bf i wished for on my birthday wheres the clear skin i also manifested 36183747 times on random timtok videos who tf stole my silky hair i prayed for
3712 words
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