Array
(
[text] =>
It’s the first time I’m waking up in someone else’s bed.
But it’s not the first time waking up in Taehyung’s arms.
For a moment I lie here, in this cocoon of warmth, listening to his steady breaths and slow heartbeat and savoring the feeling, until it strikes me.
Why am I here?
Great, starting the day by having an existential crisis.
No, but seriously, how did I get here? What happened last night? Why aren’t I…home.
I set my eyes on the sleeping man who holds me like a teddy bear against his chest. Perhaps this is home.
My real home.
I wince as my head throbs with the aftermath of last night, snippets of drinking and running returning gradually. But there’s a lot that I can’t remember, which frustrates me, because it feels like I forgot some important things, like…did I cry?
Taehyung shifts, tightening his grip around me, and that’s when I realize. I really have to pee. But I’m trapped.
“Taehyung…” I whisper, tapping his arm, but he just releases a moan instead of releasing me.
“Don’t leave,” he mutters. “You can’t leave me.”
What?
“Taehyung, I have to pee,” I try removing his arm by myself, and either I’m really weak or it’s too heavy, so I sigh, wondering how long I can hold it. Then I hear a voice from the other side of the room.
“Hyung, just let her go.”
Jeonggyu. Something niggles in the back of my brain when I hear him speak, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Oh, well, probably isn’t important anyway.
To my surprise and delight, Taehyung extracts his arm, allowing me to crawl over him, stumbling onto the floor with both hands and knees on the carpet. I look up, and my heart jumps at the sudden appearance of Jeonggyu, towering over me. He stretches out a hand.
“Need some help?”
I eye his hand for half a second before rising up, all by myself. “No.”
I yawn as I leave the room, colliding into none other than my favourite sister from another mister.
“Oh my God! You’re here!” she exclaims with wide eyes.
“I’m here!” we fling our arms around each other, squealing as quietly as possible.
“Wait, but why?” Eonjin holds me at arm’s length, and I notice then that she’s wearing her school unfirom. What time is it?
“I decided to sleep over,” I shrug.
“Sleep over? But where did you – oh.” She winks. “You slept in Taehyung’s bed, didn’t you?”
I blush on instinct, biting my lip. “I mean, yeah.”
“Aw, that’s so cute!” Eonjin beams with her hands clasped together beneath her chin. I forgot she is the biggest Taria enthusiast.
“Anyway, I’m gonna go to the bathroom and then -“
“Join us for breakfast!” Eonjin claps. “Oh, I can’t believe you’re here, everyone missed you so much!”
“I know, Jeonggyu told me,” I blurt, surprised at the sudden resurfacing of the memory.
“Oh, you guys talked last night?” Eonjin also looks surprised.
“I guess?” I frown as I make my way to the bathroom, trying hard to recollect the conversation we had, as well as everything else.
“I can’t believe I got drunk TWICE in two nights, ugh,” I say to my reflection after spitting out my toothpaste. “Get yourself together, Aria.”
“Are you talking to yourself?”
I jump, clutching my heart and almost dropping my toothbrush into the sink from shock. “You scared me.”
Taehyung grins at me through the mirror, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom. “I have that effect on people.”
I scoff, rinsing my toothbrush. “No, you don’t. You’re as scary as Yeontan.”
“Woof!”
He somehow managed to creep behind me while I was focusing on my toothbrush, his breath against my ear. This time I scream, wondering how I can be so stupid to get scared twice in the space of one minute by the same guy. He slides his arms around my waist, laughing at me.
“I guess Yeontan and I are really scary people,” he says.
“Yeontan is not a people.”
He gasps, looking offended. “Take that back.”
“Never!” I grin cheekily, popping my toothbrush in the toothbrush holder and dodging him as I leap for the door, however I am neither fast nor nimble enough to escape his clutches. I laugh as he attacks my sides, demanding that I give Yeontan his people rights.
“But he’s a dog!” I cry.
“The king of dogs, got it?” Taehyung finally lets me go once I agree, immediately grabbing his own toothbrush.
“Did you really just argue with me over Yeontan being considered a person only to say that he’s the king of dogs?” I cross my arms.
Taehyung stops brushing his teeth to reply. “I just wanted an excuse to tickle you.”
“What?” I laugh.
He smiles a foamy smile. “I told you I love making you laugh, didn’t I?”
I leave the bathroom with a contagious smile on my face, returning to his bedroom to collect my stuff. I barely notice Jeonggyu, who is still in bed, scrolling through his phone.
“Oh, hey, it’s my least favourite person,” he deadpans.
“Ditto, mate.” I pick up my hoodie, hugging it to my chest. “By the way, aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for school?”
“What are you, my mum?” he scoffs, but he still sets his phone down, climbing out of bed again.
“I hope you don’t treat your mum like you treat me,” I say, half-jokingly.
He runs a hand through his bangs, blinking heavily. “Nah, don’t worry, you get special treatment.”
I snort. “Wow, I feel so honoured.”
“You really should,” he says, rummaging through his drawers. I take that as my cue to leave, since I don’t want to have to see him changing his clothes again like that one unfortunate time. I pull my hoodie over the borrowed pajama top from Eonjin and enter the kitchen, where she and her parents are. They greet me with bright smiles.
“How are you, Aria? Everything okay back home?” Eonjae embraces me briefly, but that embrace alone is enough to trigger something within me, like the sound of something breaking.
“Uh…yeah. Everything’s…good,” I avoid her gaze, sliding onto a stool as Eonjin pours me a bowl of cereal. “I just wanted to visit you all again.”
“We are very happy to have you back here, Aria,” Taehyung’s father shoots me a grin over his shoulder as he makes himself a cup of coffee.
“Thank you,” I beam, but inside I want to cry.
This is what a family is supposed to feel like.
“Jeonggyu, aren’t you going to eat breakfast?” his mother asks as he grabs his water bottle from the fridge before dashing out of the kitchen.
“I’ll buy something on the way,” he waves her off, not even looking back as he approaches the front door. I scoff. I guess he doesn’t treat his mother any better than me.
“Anyone want some coffee? I made extra,” Taehyung’s dad offers just as Taehyung finally enters, dressed in a different hoodie and jeans.
“Ooh me!” Taehyung raises his hand, coming up next to me and reaching over to accept the mug of coffee from his father. He takes a sip, then pulls a face.
“Bleh,” he passes it to me. “It’s so bitter, Aria, taste it.”
“Why would I -” I sigh, reluctantly bringing the mug to my lips, and sure enough, it’s…bitter. But it certainly helps wake me up, alleviating the sluggish weight of my hangover, so I down the entire thing in one go, shocking everyone.
“Thank you,” I bow my head in Taehyung’s father’s direction as I set the mug on the bench a little sheepishly.
“Wow, you really love coffee, don’t you?” he chuckles.
I shrug, not sure if I should say anything about my slight hangover being the reason. Taehyung doesn’t seem to show any signs of a hangover, and I envy him for his higher alcohol metabolism than me. Not to mention the fact that he looks completely fresh, his eyes only slightly puffy, his face glowing with that moisturizer he uses.
I don’t realize I am ogling him shamelessly until he faces me, swallowing his cereal. “Admiring me again, are ya, Aria?” he smirks.
“And what about it?” I raise my eyebrows, leaning my face against my fist with my elbow on the bench to admire him further.
He copies my position, lifting an eyebrow. “I guess I’ll do it too then.”
“Oh my god, I missed witnessing this kind of stuff,” Eonjin says while making her lunch, regarding us with a mischievous grin.
In the moment that I am facing her, Taehyung sneaks a kiss on my cheek, going back to eating his cereal calmly once I turn back to him, as if nothing happened. I smile, returning the gesture.
“Ah, I’m gonna explode!” Eonjin shrieks, and I notice that she’s the only left in the kitchen now, with her parents getting ready to go to their jobs.
“Please don’t,” I deadpan, and she laughs.
“You sound like Jeonggyu. In fact, you guys are very similar,” she points to me with her butter knife.
“I don’t see it,” Taehyung shakes his head assertively. “You guys are nothing alike.”
“No, but seriously, you guys both have that dry sense of humour,” Eonjin continues, nodding passionately. “Yeah! You guys are so similar it’s insane. Maybe that’s why you feel like my sister, because you are just like family!”
“Okay…”
Eonjin widens her eyes, pointing at me aggressively. “There it is! Taehyung, did you hear that? That’s exactly how Jeonggyu would react.”
“Eonjin, would you just drop it? Aria is nothing like Pingu-head, she’s her own beautiful person,” he shoots me a wink while chewing, and I crack a smile.
“I agree with this guy,” I jut my thumb toward him in response to Eonjin, and she just sighs, slicing her sandwich into triangles.
“I’m telling you, there’s a resemblance, but fine, go against the maknae.”
Once Eonjin goes to school, it’s just the two of us, alone in this house for the first time in weeks. And for the first time, I don’t want to be alone with Taehyung. I don’t want to be alone with him, because he’s going to confront me about going back home and facing my mother again. And, unfortunately, I am right.
“Ari-yaaaaah,” he drags the end of my name with a knowing look, and I turn away from him sulkily, leaning down to scoop up Yeontan and sit on the couch with him in my arms.
“I know what you’re going to say, and I don’t wanna!” I smother Yeontan in kisses, nuzzling my face into his fur while Taehyung stands before me with folded arms.
“You know I want you to stay forever but you also have to -“
“Face my problems – yeah, I know, don’t remind me,” I let out a sigh as Yeontan wriggles out of my arms onto my lap, attempting to scramble over my thigh and completely failing so that I have to pick him up again, lightly scolding the clumsy puppy. “Don’t ever try that again, got it? You’re mine now, you can never escape me!” Yeontan barks in response, and I cuddle him to my chest, smiling. “Cutie.”
“We have class today too,” Taehyung reminds me, and I perk up.
“Oh yeah! I forgot, didn’t I, Tannie? Didn’t I?” I coo, scratching behind the puppy’s ears, and he shuts his eyes in puppy pleasure. I sneak a look up at Tae to see him watch Yeontan with a fond smile, but as soon as he meets my eyes the smile drops, his face stony and serious.
“Aria, I’m being serious, you have to go see your mum,” he persists. “At least call her, let her know you’re safe.”
“Why do you care so much what I do?” I snap, before instantly regretting it. Taehyung sucks his lips in, a flash of indignance in his eyes.
“I care, Aria, because I don’t like seeing you like this.”
“Like what?” I dare him to continue.
“Like…like me,” he spits out.
“Like you?”
“Like how I used to be. Avoiding my problems. Not coming home. Making my parents worry about me. Like that.”
Oh.
“Aria, the way you’re acting, ignoring your Eomma, not telling her where you are going at night…you’re no better than your mother right now.”
His words sting, perhaps more than they should, or perhaps at just the right level I deserve, and I just sit there with a restless dog in my lap and an incredulous expression. Did he seriously just say that to me? You’re no better than your mother right now.
“You have no right to say that,” my voice is barely above a whisper as my throat clogs with tears.
“I have every right, and you know it, Aria. Someone has to say it, because I don’t want you fighting with your mum like I did,” he sighs, staring at the ground as memories creep back into his mind, changing his expression to one of sadness. When he looks back up at me, his eyes shimmer with tears. “I’m just looking out for you, Aria.”
I hate that my own vision blurs with tears so I can no longer see him, dipping my head down to recollect myself before responding. “If you’re really looking out for me, you would understand that it’s my decision whether I want to talk to her or not, and right now, I don’t want to see her. Not yet.”
“But you will see her again soon. Right?” he gives me a stern look, his eyes completely devoid of tears as if he absorbed them back in through his tear ducts.
“Of course.”
I hold Yeontan while standing up, using him as an excuse not to look or talk to Taehyung as I set the fluffy pomeranian hybrid outside to play. I pick up his favourite ball and throw it, watching his tiny legs run across the grass to chase it with a faint smile. I hear Taehyung’s footsteps grow fainter as he leaves the sitting room, and when I turn, my heart sinks to see the area completely empty. I, too, feel empty, for my heart is an empty room without Taehyung there, and even though we technically didn’t fight, the air is charged with negative energy, and something feels unsettled, an unresolved conflict.
Should I have listened to him and gone home? I don’t know why I am being so stubborn. But at the same time, every time I so much as think about returning to that run-down apartment, my stomach churns and my blood boils. I just can’t go back yet. Even though my laptop and uni textbooks are there. Even though my bed and my phone charger are there. Even though my own mother is there.
But she feels like a stranger these days. Just a random forty-year-old woman going through a bizarre mid-life crisis where she lives some kind of fantasy. Well, we did watch a lot of casino heist movies when I was younger, as well as films where the lead actress got to ride on a motorcycle with the man of her dreams. I suppose this is how she gets to be her own lead actress, adopting the main role of her life instead of sacrificing it all for…me.
Maybe I should call her.
I throw the ball again for Yeontan, and while I wait for the cute little thing to catch it, I stare at my mother’s contact on my phone, gnawing on my lip. Maybe a text would be easier?
Before I can decide, a new text appears, except it’s not from my mum. It’s from…Ella.
Hey! If you’re receiving this text, that means you’re invited to my birthday party 😁🎉 It will be held at the Crown Casino on Friday the 14th of October 2016 from 7PM to late. Dress up in your favourite clothes and let’s party all night! Food and drinks are all on me. RSVP ASAP. I hope to see you there! xoxo Ella
A birthday party invite? I can’t believe my eyes. It’s been so long since I’ve been invited to something, let alone a party. And it’s from Ella? My childhood best friend?
Yeontan barks up at me, dropping the ball at my feet. I sit on one of the deck chairs, tossing the ball while staring at my phone. Should I go? I mean, I should go, right? But I hate parties…but it would be rude not to go, especially since we are talking again, kind of. But what would I wear? And am I allowed to bring Taehyung? What will my mother say?
You have to talk to her first, stupid.
My conscience has a point, as always.
“Are you finally texting her?”
My phone slips from my fingers, Taehyung’s deep voice deeply startling me. “Hey!” I clutch my phone to my chest, glaring up at him. “You’re lucky it didn’t fall on the floor.”
At the sight of Taehyung, Yeontan leaps at his feet, yapping happily. Taehyung ignores him, looking at me.
“So did you talk to her yet?”
I bite my lip sheepishly. “No…”
Yeontan barks even louder now, and Taehyung sighs, picking up the little ball of fur, stroking it while regarding me with a gaze that makes me feel embarrassed. “Call her.”
And then he takes Yeontan inside with him, leaving me alone once again. I let out an exasperated groan. Why can’t he just let me ignore my mother in peace?
Instead of calling her, though, I return to Ella’s message, reading it one more time before typing, YES.
It’s about time I went to my first party.
I’m about to slip my phone in my pocket when it begins to buzz, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I see that it’s Ella. Wow, she’s never called me before.
“Oh, Aria, I’m so happy you can come!” she exclaims through the receiver, causing me to wince.
“Me too!” I force back.
“And you’re more than welcome to bring that hunk of a boyfriend if you like,” I cringe at her words, turning to look at Taehyung through the window where he sits on the couch, playing with Yeontan. I’ve already dragged him to so many places, I feel bad to have to drag him to my childhood friend’s birthday party. Maybe I should go alone…
“Actually, he won’t be able to come,” I reply.
“Oh, what a shame, we could use some more hot guys there,” she laughs. “Anyways, don’t forget to dress classy. I’m so excited to see you! It’s going to be so much fun. There’s so many people I want you to meet, Aria.”
“I can’t wait!” I say with as much enthusiasm as I can muster.
“Great! See ya, Aria!”
“See ya.”
I enter the living room, and Taehyung looks up. “Was that your mum?”
“Yep!” I lie with a smile.
“So you made up with her?” Taehyung’s face lights up when I nod, and he even jumps up from the couch, abandoning Yeontan to give me a hug.
“I knew you would listen to me,” he murmurs into my hair, and it’s in that moment that I truly feel like the worst person on the planet.
How could I just lie to Taehyung like that? How could I just lie to Ella like that?
He presses a kiss to my forehead, gracing me with a proud, affectionate smile that I don’t deserve, because he was right. He was so right.
I’m no better than my mother right now.
【★】
🎶 geotjimariya! such a liar shimmy shimmy yah! 🎶
^ I was singing this the whole time aria was being a whole liar lmao
but will she be caught in a lie? well you’ll just have to wait and see 😏
[text_hash] => 5d82f5d1
)