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“One more!” I exclaim.
“One more!” Taehyung agrees, grinning with all his teeth as he pours a shot of soju into both our glasses, then holds his up to mine with a clink. “To our happiness!”
“Happiness!” I giggle, before downing the liquid down my throat, not even flinching anymore for I can barely feel it, barely feel anything, really, except happiness. So, it’s no wonder that I burst into peals of uncontrollable laughter while witnessing Tae completely miss his mouth, the alcohol dripping down his chin and into his shirt, leaving streaks down his neck.
“You idiot, yah!” I can’t stop laughing, and Taehyung just sits there with slumped shoulders and a pout.
“Ah, what to do?” slowly, he looks up with a mischievous glint in his eyes, pointing to his neck. “Aria, lick it off for me.”
“What!” I explode, my already red face deepening in its crimson hue as I whack him on the arm. “You perv!”
“Yah, I’m your boyfriend, not a perv,” he nudges me, waggling his eyebrows and leaning toward me. “Come on, no one’s watching.”
“You’re weird,” I wrinkle my nose, turning away from him to scan the Korean BBQ place we are in. We are surrounded by people eating, drinking, and chatting loudly, while we are sitting here side by side, taking shots and speaking in Korean, something we both seem to do more when we are completely wasted. But I’m not wasted enough to obey Taehyung’s strange requests.
“But you still love me, right?” he nuzzles my ear with his nose, and I shrink my shoulders together, pushing him away.
“I need another drink.”
I pour the remaining bit of soju into my glass, and I’m about to bring it to my lips when Taehyung interferes, his hand forcing me to put it back on the table. I sigh, staring at the full glass of happiness longingly, until it is blocked by someone with dark shaggy hair and an intense gaze, peering up at me through long lashes.
“Look at me.”
“I am.”
He cups his face into a flower. “Look at me.”
“I am!”
He pouts again. “Then tell me I’m cute!”
I scoff. “Oh my…are you serious?”
Taehyung’s expression becomes serious as he sits up properly, glancing at the drink. “Can we share it?”
“Share what? The drink?”
He nods cutely, so with a sigh, I divide the volume between us, gesturing for him to pick up his glass, but he shakes his head stubbornly. “I want your glass.”
“Why?”
He smiles. “Because yours tastes better.”
I frown. “It’s still going to taste like soju, Taehyung, just drink -“
“No, it’s because you drank from it with your lips,” he giggles goofily, like a little kid who just said a bad word, and I can’t stop my jaw from dropping.
“You -“
“Please?” he flutters his eyelashes, clasping his hands together, and in doing so he manages to flutter and clasp my heart, giving me no choice but to obey his strange request.
It’s not my fault that drunk Tae is too cute to resist.
Plus, it’s not like he’s asking me to lick his neck again.
“Let’s go to the karaoke room!” Taehyung bellows a little too loudly, but after that last shot, I don’t care that people are looking at us. We link arms as we stumble between the tables to the stairs, giggling at how dark it is as we climb up to where the karaoke room is located. There’s only one room, but luckily it’s vacant, allowing us to be as loud and annoying as we want.
Taehyung picks a song while I sit on the lounge, excited to see him sing. Ever since that night when he sang me to sleep, I have been waiting to hear his voice again, but the opportunity never came until now. He picks an old Korean ballad, and I freeze, immediately recognizing it. It’s the one he was singing when I first saw him outside my classroom at uni.
“This one’s for you, Aria!” he shouts into the mic, pointing to me while swaying to the swelling music. I watch him like this is a movie, and everything is in slow motion, everything except my heart, which beats frantically, passionately, and solely, for him. Even in my drunken state, I feel it all, perhaps more than if I were sober. I feel his voice, singing to me these lyrics that I’ve listened to so many times without thinking, but he gives it a whole new meaning.
He gives a whole new meaning to a lot of things in my life. Little things. Big things. Just…everything.
I don’t even realize I’m crying until the song ends and Taehyung walks over to me, eyes drooping with concern.
“Aria,” he kneels in front of me, reaching out his thumb to swipe away my tears. “No, don’t…don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry,” I let out a choked laugh, using my entire sleeve to take care of the rest of the wetness. “That was beautiful.”
He grins. “You think so?”
I slap him with my hoodie paw. “Oh, come on, don’t act like you don’t know.”
“Know what?” he uses my thighs to support himself as he peers up at me with a cheeky expression.
“You sing well, okay? You have a nice voice,” I end up mumbling as he continues to stare at me.
“Thank you,” he kisses my cheek, then my nose. “But can I hear yours?”
I look at him properly this time, biting my lip. “I’m gonna need some convincing…”
Taehyung lights up as if he were waiting to hear those very words. “Convincing, huh? I can do that.” He springs to his feet, planting his hands on his hips. I tilt my head to the side, looking up at him.
“What are you gonna do?”
He glances to the side with a sly grin, and I wonder what’s on his mind. “Oh, you know…”
“Yah, what? Come on, tell me,” I tug on the hem of his shirt, and he covers my hand with his, making my heart stop as he stares deeply at me.
“Take my shirt off,” he says without blinking, and I wrench my hand away.
“That’s not convincing!”
Taehyung cocks an eyebrow, still sporting that cunning expression. “Then should I take off my pants too?”
“I don’t care if you strip butt naked, I’m not singing!” I say defiantly.
One moment Taehyung is silent, the next he’s jumping onto me, pulling at my hoodie. “Then you have to strip!”
“No, get off!” I end up giggling as he wrestles with me, especially when his fingers manage to graze against my bare stomach, making me curl up.
“Strip or sing!” he chants while I squeal.
“Never!”
Suddenly I am lifted as he carries me toward the karaoke screen, placing the mic in my hands but not placing me on the ground. I wriggle in his arms.
“Down!” I pull my angriest face, and he shakes his head, pushing the mic to my mouth.
“Sing first. Then down.”
I sigh loudly, my breath filling the room as the microphone amplifies it, then grip it in my hands, letting Taehyung choose a song while still managing to keep me in his arms.
“You’re so strong,” I squeeze his bicep, enjoying myself, and I don’t know if I’m imagining it, but I swear Taehyung’s face flushes a subtle shade of pink.
“Just sing,” he mumbles.
“Let me down first,” I give him a stern stare, and this time he obeys, standing to the side as I get into the mood of the song. And what song did Taehyung choose, may you ask?
An Ariana Grande song.
Good thing I am extremely drunk, or I would never even dream of trying to sing Dangerous Woman. Maybe that’s what he thinks of me? A dangerous woman? Yeah, right.
Taehyung watches me rip off my hair-tie and fling it to the side, letting my hair loose. That one act alone triggers something inside of me, and perhaps inside of Taehyung too, because I am intoxicated by more than just alcohol, but by the way he looks at me, hungrily, addictively, dangerously…
Sober Aria would have died right on the spot.
I don’t think I am aware of how bad I sound, or maybe I actually sound good? Who knows. I circle around Taehyung with a hand on his shoulder, maintaining eye contact the entire time while singing, and he occasionally giggles, hiding behind his fingers, but he stops giggling during the instrumental break when I decide to take off my hoodie, tossing it to the floor with a thud. Taehyung now regards me with wide eyes as I stroll up to him, clasping the nape of his neck and dancing against him, feeling dangerous.
I miss my cue to sing for the chorus as he loops his arms around my waist and sways with me, lips so close but never touching, so dangerously close…
“Hey, Taehyung,” I whisper as the karaoke track comes to an end.
“Yeah?“
“I was terrible, wasn’t I?”
He chuckles, tucking my hair behind my ear. “Yeah.”
Instead of getting angry at him, I throw my head back and laugh. “Wait,” I stop laughing. “You’re not going to leave me because I’m such a bad singer, are you?”
“What are you talking about?” Taehyung cups my jaw, his thumb lightly stroking my cheek as he frowns at me. “Of course not. That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Nothing makes sense,” I mumble, still pouting. “Like why you even love me. That doesn’t make sense to me at all.”
“What?” Taehyung lets go of my face, looking…hurt. “What do you mean?”
“Taehyung, why…why do you love me?” my lip trembles. “I don’t understand how anyone could love me. I’m not loveable. I’m awkward, and sometimes really mean to you even though you’re older than me, and I’m really insecure, and just -“
“Whoa, whoa, where is all this coming from? Aria, it might not make sense to you, but it does to me,” he slips his hand into mine. “I love you, Aria.”
“But why? Why would you? You can have anyone in this world, any girl, any pretty girl who doesn’t have all these problems, who won’t burden you with them. I mean, look at you, you’re a good-looking guy, I don’t know why you’re wasting your time with an awkward, problematic loser like me.”
The problem with alcohol is that it either solves your problems, creates more problems or just makes you rant about your problems until you end up as a blubbering, emotional mess.
Tonight, I am all three.
“Aria…is that what you really think?”
For the first time, I notice tears in his eyes, his dark, beautiful eyes that look at the world with such wonder and delight. Those eyes that look at me now with sadness.
“You should just go,” I hear myself say. “It’s easier for you. It’s easier for everyone, if they just…don’t get involved with me. I’m just too difficult. A difficult…burden.”
“Aria,” he approaches me, then hugs me, despite my protests. “Aria, you’re not difficult. Or a burden. Or any of those things. That’s not you. You’re not you. You’re just drunk.”
“It’s the truth!” I finally break free from him. “It’s the truth and you know it! You’re just saying those things to make me feel better, but I know you agree with me. I make things too hard, I can’t even control my own mother for god’s sake! I’m sorry you have to put up with me, with all my problems, but you can leave, you know. You don’t have to stay with me because you feel like you need to. You don’t have to do anything for me, so why would you? Please,” I sob, not caring how ugly I look right now as I cry. “Just go.”
“Go where, Aria? How can I go anywhere when you’re always with me?” He touches his heart. “Here.” He points to his temple. “And here.”
“Stop.”
“No.” He shakes his head, stepping toward me once again. “You stop.”
His kiss catches me off guard, sucking the life out of me as another tear rolls down my cheek, falling onto Taehyung’s fingers which grasp my face as if I may disappear. We break away for a split second and I gasp for air, feeling shaky as he stares fiercely into my eyes, his strong brow furrowed. Then he dives in again, conveying all his emotions through this kiss, everything he wants to say clear as day with the ferocity of his lips moving against mine, his tongue darting in for a few words, explaining it all to me so that I finally understand.
Because I’m not the only one with problems here. I’m not the only one who has insecurities and baggage and flaws. And if I can love him for all of his, then surely, he loves me for mine. Surely, I understand now that this love goes both ways, and that I may feel like I am the worst person, but who’s to say that he doesn’t feel like that too sometimes? Who’s to say that he also thinks that I should leave him because he’s too difficult, too burdensome, and that I could find someone better than him?
And so it makes sense now, as he kisses my tears away, holding me together like sticky tape. It makes sense, as he guides me to the lounge, gripping my hips and allowing me to sit on his lap, holding onto him like a prayer as he leaves traces of sin on my skin.
It makes sense, why he loves me, because I love him, and that’s all that matters.
We ignore the sound of my phone ringing in my hoodie that I discarded on the floor, because it doesn’t matter as much as his touch, his burning touch that reminds me that I’m his, that I’ll always be his, and that I was an idiot for thinking I’m not worthy. It feels so fast, yet so slow, and my need for him augments to an inconceivable amount, so much so that I can’t control it, we can’t control it, because it’s both of us, us together, a mutual sense of affection and reassurance.
This time I want it, this time I won’t hold back, this time I will give myself to –
“Sorry, we are closing soon, you have to…leave,” a staff member falters as she takes in the scene before her, with both our hoodies scattered and me on his lap, his hands halfway up my shirt and my fingers curled around the back of his neck, breathing heavily with disheveled, flushing appearances. She slowly steps away from the door.
“Please pick up your stuff and pay downstairs,” are her final words before she abandons us completely.
We both heave a sigh, before breaking into embarrassed laughter.
“Why does this always happen?” I murmur, unraveling myself from his lap.
Taehyung fluffs a hand through his hair, grabbing his hoodie. “Because we choose the worst places.”
I pick up my own hoodie, checking my phone, and sure enough, my mother left two missed calls and a text that says, you better come home. For some reason, seeing that makes me want to do the opposite, so I turn to Taehyung.
“I know a place.”
Taehyung arches an eyebrow. “Where?”
I grab his hand, leading him out of the karaoke room. “Just follow me.”
It’s my turn to take the lead, and in my giddy state, I completely forget about the fact that I basically had an emotional breakdown a few minutes ago, giggling happily even as we pay for everything and leave the restaurant, skipping onto the streets. I also forget that Taehyung doesn’t have shoes on, so when I realize again, I bend over in laughter.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because you don’t have shoes!” I point, and he looks down.
“Aria, I haven’t had shoes since the train ride. Remember?”
“Yeah, but I just realized again,” I giggle, hugging him.
He stares down at me with an unreadable expression, then says, “You’re such a mystery.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, look at you all happy now when just ten minutes ago you were -” he stops himself, licking his lips as he looks at me. Maybe he thinks I’ll start crying again if he reminds me, but I’m just happy that I finally understand. I finally understand.
“Where’s that place you wanted to take me?” he asks, rubbing his hands over my arms. I giggle.
“Not telling!”
“Aria,” he gives me a stern stare, and I shake my whole body from side to side like a child.
“I’m not going home!” I sing, raising my arms.
“Aria, you have to,” he says softly.
“No, I don’t. Because my mum is gonna yell at me and Victor is gonna be there and I don’t ever wanna see either of them again. Especially my mum, the betrayer.“
“She didn’t betray you, she’s still your mother.”
“No! She thinks she’s my older sister. She’s a liar! And selfish! And – and -” Oh, no, I’m crying again.
“You’ve had a long night,” Taehyung engulfs me into an embrace, patting my back as I hiccup. “You’ve been through a lot, and I just want you to know, Aria, that you are so strong, and so important to me. Come on,” he takes my hand, dragging me along. “Let’s go home.”
I tear my hand away from him, halting in my tracks. “No! I told you I’m not going home.”
He calmly retakes my hand and says, “Not your home. My home.”
I stop walking, but this time out of surprise. “Really?”
He nods.
I smile. “This is why I love you.”
This time he’s the one who looks surprised, so I tug on his hand, taking the lead again and reviving him from his temporary state of wonder. “Let’s go!”
When we reach his home, the entire house seems asleep, except for Jeonggyu, who looks up from his laptop in shock as we tiptoe into his bedroom. Taehyung presses his fingers to his lips while guiding me to his bed on the other side of the room. I sit on the mattress, feeling extremely drowsy but also extremely happy to be back here, a place that I called home for two weeks, a place that still feels like a home to me, more than the one I live in now.
“I’m going to go brush my teeth, you wait here, okay?” Taehyung whispers, and I nod sleepily. I forget Jeonggyu is here too until he speaks once his brother leaves.
“You look like crap.”
I turn to him, squinting. “Takes one to know one,” I shoot back with a yawn.
“Are you drunk? I can smell you from over here,” he waves his hand in front of his face, wrinkling his nose.
“Have you not showered in three weeks because I can smell you from over here,” I feel more alert now as I exchange insults with him, somewhat enjoying it.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I missed you,” he cringes as he says it. “Oh, I shouldn’t have said that.”
I laugh. “Don’t worry, I won’t remember it anyway. But I definitely didn’t miss you.”
“Aw, not even a little bit?” he juts out his lower lip.
“Hm,” I pretend to think about it. “Nope.”
“Well, since you left, Eonjin hasn’t stopped talking about you. And if Yeontan could talk, he probably would be barking about you everyday.”
I giggle. “Aw, I missed Yeontan too. And Eonjin. Damn, I should really visit more often, shouldn’t I?”
“You really shouldn’t,” Jeonggyu quips, and I laugh.
“You know what? I did miss you, Jeonggyu.”
His jaw drops. “You said my name.”
“Yeah, so? Are you Voldemort or something?”
He laughs. “It’s such a shame…” he trails off, before shaking his head quickly.
“What is?”
“I mean…” he glances at me. “I’m only saying this because you’re drunk and won’t remember what I said, but…you’re like…everything I want.”
“Huh?” His words don’t quite register, but I don’t get time to ask him what he means by that because Taehyung returns, looking a little fresher than he was before, carrying a pile of clothes in his hands.
“Here’s some pajamas I stole from Eonjin for you,” he places them in my hands, and then hands me a purple toothbrush. “And here’s a new toothbrush just for you.”
“Yay,” I say with very little enthusiasm, getting to my feet. I flick a glance over at Jeonggyu, who seems to be avoiding my gaze, focusing on his laptop. By the light of his lamp, I swear it looks like his cheeks are tinged with red, but maybe I’m just imagining it.
All I know is that I definitely didn’t imagine what he said, such a cryptic sentence that I probably won’t remember anyway, but for now, it echoes in my head. You’re like…everything I want.
What a strange thing for an eighteen-year-old boy to say to me, and not just any eighteen-year-old boy. A boy who just so happens to be my boyfriend’s younger brother.
I return to the boys’ bedroom looking and smelling a little less like crap than before. The two brothers were talking, but as soon as I step foot into the room, they both stop.
“Talking about me, are we, boys?” I giggle, not knowing why I said it like that. I walk towards Taehyung’s bed, sitting beside him and making a point to kiss his cheek in front of Jeonggyu, hoping he gets the message. I notice him whip his head away, clenching his jaw, and I roll my eyes, lacing my fingers with Taehyung’s.
“Shall we sleep?” I murmur, and he nods, biting back his smile as he lifts the covers for us. I crawl in first, inhaling the scent of him once he lies next to me. I then click my fingers at Jeonggyu.
“Hey, Jeonggyu, would you be a dear and close your light? You should sleep too.”
He grunts, immediately switching off his lamp so that his laptop is the only light source remaining, but soon that is gone too, and we are all bathed in darkness. I snuggle up against Tae and his lips meet my forehead, staying there as his arm drapes over my body.
“Goodnight, baby,” he whispers against my skin, and I smile.
“Goodnight.”
【★】
🎶 just say goodnight n go 🎶
I CAN’T BELIEVE JUNGKOOK GOT ZEPETO JUST WHEN I DELETED UGH
This chappie is dedicated to skyslitbrou_140 💗
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