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A week has passed since arriving, and I already feel like part of the family.
Eonjin and I became close, which made it easier for me to become comfortable with everyone else. She is the extravert to my introvert, drawing me out of my comfort zone just as Taehyung first did, except in a different way. She encouraged me to dress up, as the key to feeling pretty is to look pretty, and then she would use me as her model, whether it be for her clothes or hairstyles. But when she wasn’t talking about girl stuff that she could never talk about to anyone, not even her own Eomma, we would talk about life in general, like plans for the future, after graduation, which for her was still three years away. Or simply random things like astrology, something we were both getting into together after reading our horoscopes online just for fun.
“Taehyung is such a Capricorn,” she rolls her eyes. “He’s so stubborn.”
“Yeah, he is,” I agree, thinking back to all the times he begs me to do things with a pout, not giving up until I comply. In a way, it is a good thing, because I wouldn’t be here today if he weren’t stubborn, but at times it can get too much.
“And look at this, it says they are moody and detached, which is so Tae, I swear.” We scroll through the website lazily on Eonjin’s bed, which has basically become my bed as well from how much time I spend here. “Oh, they have a description for Capricorn Men. Let’s see how accurate it is, you ready?”
I wriggle forward on the bed, becoming even more comfortable. “Go ahead.”
“It is not easy to understand a Capricorn man. Yeah, this is so true,” we both laugh. “He treats love seriously and will wait patiently for it. He is not a flirt, nor a player. Can you confirm?”
“I don’t know if I can.” He definitely knows how to flirt, but I am not so sure about the player part. From what I’ve heard about him, he has been loved by many, yet I don’t think he plays.
“How about this: Capricorn men are not fans of public displays of affection. True or false?”
“Why are you asking me that?” I hide my face in my hands, giggling and red as I think back to all the times he would blatantly pull me toward him in the middle of a street, or steal a kiss on my cheek when no one was looking, although there always seemed to be someone watching.
“Yeah, you’re right, let’s move on, gross,” Eonjin wrinkles her nose as I continue to laugh. “Okay, apparently Capricorn men are possessive, like they want you to pay attention to them only. Is Taehyung like that?”
“Sometimes,” I reply. “More than usual, lately.”
“Oh, really?” Eonjin’s eyes are glued to the screen as she reads through the next paragraph, humming. “It says that he needs to be complimented and reassured, and they don’t forgive and forget easily – ooh, Aria, you better be careful,” I laugh along with her, but her words cause a knot to grow in my stomach. “Oh, and if you make him feel jealous, he will immediately leave you. Oh wow. Harsh.”
“Yeah, harsh,” I scratch the back of my head, recalling all the times he got “jealous.”
“Wait, no, I read that wrong. It actually says that trying to make him jealous won’t work and that he will leave you if you even try something like this. But he would still get possessive, as he jumps to conclusions very quickly.”
“Yep,” I mutter, remembering when he saw me with Namjoon’s phone in my hand at the library a few days ago. But he was just in a bad mood at that time, and he knows that I would never do anything to make him doubt my loyalty to him because he trusts me. Right?
“Right, now let’s check out your sign, Aria, what was it again? Aries?”
“Cancer,” I correct her.
“Imagine if you were Aries, then you’d be Aria the Aries,” Eonjin giggles while clicking on the Cancer description. “Okay, let’s see…ooh, tenacious! Highly imaginative, emotional, moody – No wonder you and Tae get along!”
She cackles when I hit her, but smoothly continues to read off the page. “Cancer can be one of the most challenging signs to get to know,” she turns to me. “Hm, that’s true. You’re very mysterious.”
“Am I?” But I already know the answer. I’ve never been very good at opening up, but these days, it feels like less of a struggle, especially with Eonjin.
“Girl, don’t even get me started,” Eonjin snaps her fingers and I laugh, whacking her with a pillow.
“Keep reading.”
“Yes, ma’am,” she smirks. “Quick to help others, and quick to avoid conflict. Ooh, this should be interesting, how to attract a cancer woman.”
“Don’t read that,” I cringe, but she doesn’t listen.
“A Cancer woman is vulnerable, and not likely to quickly fall in love,” she arches an eyebrow at me and my cheeks flush. “In order to seduce her, one must make the first move. Despite her cautious nature, a cancer woman is deeply erotic –”
“What are you guys reading?”
Taehyung’s younger brother sticks his head in with a scrutinizing expression.
“Go away, Jeonggyu!” Eonjin cries, but he does not go away.
“Oh, so no Pingu Head? I swear, I haven’t heard you say my name in ten years,” he sneers, leaning against the door frame.
“Shouldn’t you be studying or something?” I deliver my classic line which always works in getting rid of him, but not this time.
“Shouldn’t you?”
“For your information, I studied all day, and I’m not the one doing year twelve with exams right around the corner,” I retort.
“The lady has a point,” Jeonggyu snaps his fingers. “It’s a shame you can’t help me study. It’d be fun to have a tutor who isn’t a man.”
“I wouldn’t tutor you even if you paid me,” I quip. “You’re so annoying.”
“I’m only annoying because your reactions are funny,” Jeonngyu reasons. “You’re like the older sister I never had.”
“Hey! I’m mentally older than you, which technically makes me your older sister,” Eonjin chimes in. “And look, just like the typical Aries, you are argumentative and arrogant,” she gestures to her laptop screen where she obtained that information, before grabbing the pillow on my lap. “Now go away before I chuck this pillow at you.”
“Fine, I’ll go away, because I don’t wanna get involved with a two-faced Gemini,” Jeonggyu spits, finally leaving us in peace.
“Okay, that’s just low, Gemini aren’t two-faced,” Eonjin huffs, clicking on her sign. “We’re nice people, see? It even says here, we are gentle, affectionate and expressive. Not two-faced!”
“Don’t listen to him, he’s an idiot,” I touch her arm, before realizing what just happened. Have I officially…settled in? As in, I am just casually calling this guy an idiot, and telling his sister not to listen to him, as if I’m the one that had to deal with him for the past sixteen years.
“That’s why Taehyung is my favourite brother,” she claims. “Because he’s not a total a-hole.“
“You called?”
Eonjin’s favourite brother is the next to make a cameo, strolling into the room as if it is his and launching himself onto the bed, taking up the remaining space. He steadies himself with his hands on my legs, causing me to twitch and practically kick him away. He laughs, the sound coming from deep within his belly as he scoots in between us, grabbing my arm and using it as a neck pillow while lying down.
“What are we doing?” his fingers trail over my hands as Eonjin closes the astrology tab.
“Just talking,” I reply, exhaling and consequently shifting the soft hairs of Taehyung’s head with my breath.
“About me?” he encircles his entire index finger and thumb around my wrist, a trick he loves to perform to emphasize how tiny I am in comparison to him, and this trick almost always ends with him pressing his lips to the back of my hand and then lacing his fingers through mine, a trick that treats my heart to a minor palpitation.
“Yeah, we were just talking about how you’re so much better than Jeonggyu,” Eonjin says this loudly, as if to reach the ears of the subject, but there is no way for us to know that he heard.
“Hey, Jeonggyu’s my bro, be nice,” Taehyung defends him.
“Tae, he’s my bro too, but I love you just a tiny bit more than him,” Eonjin demonstrates with her fingers, and the gap is as large as Taehyung’s index finger. That is, not tiny at all.
“Aw, I love you too, Jin-jin,” he reaches up to pinch her cheek, and she scowls.
“I told you not to do that! I’m gonna break out!”
“Into what? A song?” Taehyung holds up his hand for a high five, and I roll my eyes as I slap his palm, while Eonjin lets out the longest sigh I’ve ever heard from someone.
“You’re losing brownie points, bro,” Eonjin warns.
“Aw no, but I love brownies,” Taehyung pouts as I loop both of my arms over his shoulders, smiling fondly while Eonjin shoots him a look.
“Okay, Jeonggyu is my new favourite brother,” she jokes.
“Okay, cool,” Taehyung examines his fingernails, unbothered, while I chuckle softly, catching a whiff of his hair as I peer down at him, leaning against me with his legs half-tangled with mine.
“Wow, I guess you don’t really care then,” Eonjin yawns loudly, stretching her arms. “Well, I better go sleep now, so unless you guys wanna have a sleepover, you should leave.”
“Come on, Aria, let’s go,” Taehyung is the first to get up, dragging me with him. He continues to drag me along to the kitchen, passing the sitting room where our parents are quietly watching a drama and drinking tea. He makes me sit on the stool before pulling out two mugs from the dishwasher and proceeding to make hot chocolate for us both. I lean my elbows on the bench and watch him, or rather, openly admire him as he shimmies around the kitchen, humming a soulful tune and making me giggle with the way he does a spin before popping one, two, three marshmallows into each mug. With his tongue poking out and brow puckered in concentration, he slides the finished products toward me across the bench, scrunching up his face into a smile when he catches my eye.
“Let’s go outside,” he whispers, carefully carrying his mug, so together we tiptoe to the door, which is hidden behind a curtain, and sneak out into the cold spring night air that pierces through our clothes.
The first thing I notice in this semi-darkness is the semi-full moon, bathing the garden with its milky white glory. Taehyung sets his mug down on the outside table to grab the blue checkered picnic blanket that is usually kept folded up on the deck chair, shaking it out onto the middle of the backyard. We take off our slippers and sit down onto the rug, cradling our cups of cocoa in our hands.
“Moon,” he murmurs in Korean, looking up. “It looks so beautiful every time I see it.”
“She is beautiful,” I agree, sipping my hot drink, and to my pleasant surprise, it is perfect. Perfect temperature, perfect sweetness, all concocted by a perfect –
“Man, I wish I could just touch it,” Taehyung stretches his hand into the black void studded with stars that swim around a shrinking moon. “Or maybe even take a bite out of it.”
“You can’t eat the moon, Tae,” I giggle.
“I know, but doesn’t it look like a white marshmallow?” Taehyung sticks his tongue out, revealing a soggy white marshmallow, and I squirm, wrinkling my nose yet laughing.
“Why are you so weird?”
“To make life more interesting,” he replies to my rhetoric question, surprising me.
“Life’s always interesting,” I say. “Sometimes I wish it weren’t, so I could relax.”
“Hey, you can still relax while you’re with me, right?” he nudges my shoulder. “I mean, we are relaxing right now, are we not?”
“Yeah, but…you know what I mean, right?” I wish I could take back my words, because there’s more to it than just relaxation. As comfortable as I am here, I long for a room all to myself, with a bed all to myself, and just a place where I can breathe without worrying about what others think. The Kims are no longer strangers to me, but I am still a stranger in their home. A temporary, invasive guest.
“You need to be alone,” Taehyung understands with a sober nod, and instead of feeling glad that Taehyung understands, I feel guilty.
“It’s not that I am not having fun here, because I am. I love your family, and the whole atmosphere,” I clarify. “It’s just…home is privacy, and it’s not very private here.”
“No, I get it, Aria, it’s like visiting your cousin’s house,” Taehyung launches into an analogy. “You love seeing them again, and hanging out with them, but at the end of the day, you have to go back home, because you don’t live there, and you can’t see them everyday or you might get sick of them.”
“I’m not saying I’m sick of you, Taehyung, oh my God,” I turn to look at his face in the darkness, but he just calmly sips his chocolatey marshmallow soup, staring straight ahead so I can’t see his expression clearly. “Taehyung, I could never get sick of you, you know that, right?”
I don’t know why I feel the need to reassure him like this, especially since I don’t usually say these kinds of things, but with what Eonjin and I were reading about his zodiac sign earlier in mind, even if it is complete rubbish, perhaps it is time I tell him.
His face finally becomes visible as he looks at me with one eye, and then both eyes as dark as the sky above. “Are you sure about that?”
“Yes, idiot, I’m sure, so just accept it,” I hold up my mug to my chin, looking away to hide my flustered face. The way he speaks so slowly, and calmly, while staring at me like that…it always manages to shake my cool façade.
“That means we can stay together for a long time,” he exhales happily. “If we can live together in the same house like this.” He drains his cup in one gulp, facing me with a gleam on his upper lip that I can only guess to be his milk stache. He grins while I point at it.
“I don’t think I can live with that thing on your mouth,” as soon as I say the words, I can already imagine the look on his face, which I witness right at this very moment as his lips spread into a wider grin.
“Why? Want to kiss it away for me?” he leans forward, and I lean back.
“Wipe it off, idiot.”
“Oh, come on, this is the ultimate test! Kiss me, Aria!”
I squeal as he gets dangerously close to my cheek, his sweet breath blowing across my skin, and I have to protect my mug of warm cocoa from spilling as he shifts around unpredictably.
“Wait!” I hold up a hand to his face as I dunk the rest of my mug’s contents down my throat, setting the mug down at a safe distance away on the grass. Taehyung stares at my lips.
“Now you’ve got one too.”
I stick a tongue out, swiping it over my upper lip defiantly. “No, I don’t!”
“Yeah, you do.”
I am barely able to breathe before he swoops in for a sweet yet sloppy kiss that tastes of marshmallow moons and cold spring nights, blended together with the heat of an exchanged breath, wrapped up by a starry gaze.
“All gone,” his dark gaze never falters as he licks his lips, clearing away any remnants of the sweet kiss. I am too stunned to move, wondering if it would be rude to wipe my mouth with my sleeve until I realize that what he just did was the rudest of rude.
“You –”
He suddenly lays himself down, tugging me down with him. I take this opportunity to drag a sleeve over my lips as we stare up at the stars, at the constellations that inspire astrologists and astronomers alike, as well as regular folk like us. I can hear the steady flow of his breathing, and perhaps, if I listen hard enough, the throbbing rhythm of his heartbeat. But all I can hear is the rumbling tone of his voice as he speaks.
“One day,” he begins. “We will go somewhere. Just you and me. Together.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere, because as long as the stars are above our heads, we can go anywhere.”
I snort at his cheesy line. “Anywhere in particular? Like Paris, New York, London?”
“Of course, I want to go to all those places,” he says wistfully. “But I will only go if you come with me. Promise?“
He holds out a pinky which is almost longer than all my fingers, and I loop my own miniscule digit around his, smiling. “Promise.”
“And we’ll take lots of pictures. You can be my model, and I’ll just follow you around, capturing your beauty. Just like in media class, except no one else has to see the photos except us.”
I feel myself blush at his words. Capturing your beauty. I’d rather capture his beauty if we are going to be honest here. And something about laying under the stars makes a person sincere and more willing to share things they never would share otherwise.
“And we should go to Korea together as well,” he pipes up. “Actually, let’s move to Korea one day, and become farmers, just like my grandparents!”
“That sounds…fun,” I imagine us as farmers, waking up at the crack of dawn, collecting the eggs, milking the cows, feeding the pigs…I giggle at the image.
“It will be so fun! We can walk around barefoot all day every day, riding horses, picking fruit, and stargaze just like this, every night, because there is no light pollution…”
“Do you truly want to?” I roll over until I am facing him, and he does the same, large almond shaped eyes like two black holes that consume me with his intense gaze.
“I want to if you want to,” he tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear with an unreadable expression. “I don’t mind taking over the farms in Korea if you are there with me. It would give me a lot of strength, to have you with me.”
“I give you strength?”
He interlocks his fingers with mine, squeezing. “Yes, Aria, just being with you makes me feel like the strongest man in the world. Like I can do anything.”
“Really?”
It never made sense to me when people said that, how one person can simply make you feel so powerful and on top of the world, but now, with this beautiful boy right here, gazing at me with such intensity, I feel like I am infinite, my potential is infinite, just by looking at him, touching him, being with him. He makes me feel worth it, and his voice alone brings me comfort and reassurance in times when I feel down. He gives me hope for a future I never imagined, a different kind of future to the one I originally had in mind. He dares to dream big, and I dare to dream with him, because maybe, just maybe, we are more than just this moment.
Maybe, we are forever.
“Aria,” he cups my cheek, stroking his thumb over my skin. “Why are you so beautiful?”
I scoff, scrunching up my face. “What are you talking about? Don’t say cringy things like that.”
“Has no one told you that before?”
“Even if they tell me, that doesn’t mean I’ll believe them,” I mutter.
“Then believe me, Aria, you are…” his eyes roam my face, and I feel my heart skip a beat. “Beautiful.”
“Stop.”
“When I first saw you, I thought, wow, this girl is really good looking, but she probably does not think so,” he pokes my nose. “I used to get so nervous around you because of it.”
“You were nervous?” I snort.
“I was!” he laughs. “But I wanted to get to know you more, except you were very…”
“Reserved? Guarded? Introverted?” I supply, but he shakes his head, laughing.
“No, you were just very…hooded. Like, that hoodie you always wore made you look so scary sometimes,” he admits with a giggle.
“Scary?” now it’s my turn to laugh.
“But now I know you’re just a little cutie,” he pinches my cheek. “I’m glad I didn’t let you scare me away.”
“If I remember correctly, you were very invasive of my personal space from the beginning,” I prod his nose. “I wondered whether you even had any conscience that would make you feel embarrassed, since you just kept annoying me all the time.”
“That’s how I make friends,” he grins sheepishly. “It almost always works, and now look at us.” He drapes an arm over my waist, shuffling closer until his lips touch my forehead, leaving a kiss there.
“Do you treat all your friends like this?” I joke.
“Of course, I love giving my friends forehead kisses,” he laughs. “Oh! You still have to meet my friend.”
“But I already met Namjoon.”
“Not him, there’s someone else,” as soon as he says this, I remember the text I saw on his phone from someone called ChimChim💕.
“Who?”
“Jimin,” a dreamy smile graces his lips, and I frown.
“Who’s that? Is it a girl?”
Taehyung throws his head back in laughter that echoes into the night, and I continue to frown, wondering what he finds so funny. “Yah, why are you laughing? Is it a girl or not?”
“No, he’s not a girl,” his lips tremble as he tries to control his laugh. “Oh, man, he’s going to get so mad when I tell him.”
For some reason, a weight lifts from my heart on hearing that it’s a guy and not a girl. Maybe a small part of me hoped to be the only female close friend of his, especially now that I am his girlfriend. I guess I was worried for nothing, though.
“Does he go to our uni?” I ask.
“Oh, no, he lives in Sydney. I only get to see him once or twice a year,” he sadly admits. “We are childhood friends, but we talk almost every day. Ah, I miss you, Jimin-ah,” he sighs. “Do you think he’s looking at the moon right now too?”
I can’t help but giggle a little at the way Taehyung talks about him, almost as if he is in love with him. It’s so…cute. “He could be, who knows? But how am I going to meet him if he lives in Sydney?”
“He’s visiting me this summer, and then you can meet him,” even in the darkness I can see the way his eyes sparkle as he talks about him. “I already told him all about you.”
“Did you?” I smirk, and Taehyung’s eyes widen as if he said something he wasn’t supposed to.
“Ah, why’d I say that?”
I laugh at his embarrassment. “It’s okay, you can talk about me to anyone you want.”
“Yeah, and don’t think I don’t know that you talk about me,” he says huskily, his palm burning through my jumper as he holds me at the waist.
“I guess we both talk about each other, then.”
“How can I not talk about you when you’re mine?” he licks his lips, and just watching him do that makes my heart beat faster, sending waves of electricity through my veins. “I want to talk about you until my voice breaks, because the whole world needs to know that you, Aria, are mine. Mine.”
“Wow, possessive much?” I bite my lip, smirking sarcastically, and he cocks an eyebrow.
“You haven’t seen possessive yet, Aria,” he growls out, and in a flash, he pins me down by both arms, hovering above me with a triumphant grin.
“Is that the best you can do?” I challenge, only to immediately regret it when he buries his nose into my neck, the vibration of his lips almost palpable against my ear as he speaks.
“You want me to show you now?”
My lips part in shock as streams of shivers ripple through my body and my cheeks flood with heat. Oh my god.
“Taehyung, what –”
He suddenly straightens up, sporting the most mischievous grin I have ever seen on him, and removes his hold on my wrists so that I am free to move. Except, I can’t bring myself to as I struggle to control my heartbeat.
“Shall we go inside?”
He picks up our cups as if nothing happened, getting to his feet and yawning. “Ah, I’m tired. Come on, Aria,” he reaches a hand out for me to grab, and I let him pull me to my feet in a daze, staring after him in bewilderment. With a huff, I fold up the blanket and carry it in my arms, following him back to the house. But before he can open the door, I stop him.
“Yah, Kim Taehyung!”
He turns, slowly yet confidently, and arches an eyebrow at me. “Aren’t I older than you, Aria? Why are you so informal?”
“Because you,” I dump the blanket onto a deck chair and storm up to him, prodding his chest. “Are rude.”
“Rude?” he chuckles. “How?”
“Well, you – what you did – how can you just – ugh!” I stamp my foot in frustration while he laughs at me in amusement.
“You want me to finish what I started?” he has the audacity to lean forward, blatantly staring at my lips. I swallow thickly, feeling not so brave.
“Let’s just go inside,” I brush past him and grab the handle of the door, but it doesn’t budge. I try again, fully aware of Taehyung’s presence behind me, and I groan.
“We’re locked out!”
“Good,” his voice makes me jump as it enters my ear, and in a blink, he slams me against the door which would have been painful if not for the more painful feeling of his eyes on me, piercing my soul. But it does not last long because his lips are suddenly on mine, his fingers digging into my back as he deepens the kiss.
My mind is a blank slate that fails to register the fact that if someone happened to open the curtain, they would see us, and then it would be awkward for that someone. But at the same time, I cannot care less, because this spontaneous boy makes me reckless in ways I never dared to be before, and I don’t want to ever stop.
Because I can’t.
I can’t stop falling in love with him.
“Aria,” he is breathless, as am I, and I cradle his face in my palms, drinking in the sight of the guy that changed it all for me.
“Taehyung, I – ” I bite my lip, closing my eyes briefly and trying to control my heart. But there’s no control when I’m with Taehyung. It’s impossible.
“There’s something I have to say,” Taehyung interjects, licking his lips and frowning slightly. “If I don’t say it now, I know I will regret it.”
My heart drops as I think of all the worst things he could possibly say. He looks so worried, almost as if he has a secret, a terrible, dark secret that could change everything, and so I say, “Taehyung, I just want you to know, whatever it is, I –”
“I love you.”
My breath hitches in my throat. Of all the worst things he could say… he just had to steal my line. He watches me carefully, awaiting my response, so I just smile giddily, threading my fingers through his long locks. “I love you too, idiot.”
【★】
I love a good moonlight confession don’t you? 😄
I can’t believe how long this chapter is but at least it makes up for the fact that I haven’t updated in so long and the next time I update won’t be for a while either 🙁
As promised, the 300th voter gets a dedication to thank you itsraining_196 for voting and reading! 💖
In other news, Australia is finally relevant again because we are home to Koya the Koala! And Namjoon knows about her! #AUSARMY1stWin 🤣
P.S. do any of you stan stray kids? I’ve become more and more fond of them nowadays and I just ugh love them so much my babies 😭💗
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