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*Jessie’s POV*
I get up, detaching myself from my bed. Gray light pours in from my window, and I hear the wind wipping around feircly outside. Little dots of rain splatter against bmy roof, giving me a pitter patter sound track as I gaze around wistfully.
So much of my things, my true nessisitys, are packed up, already on their way through storm clouds, bound for new york. I can see them now, in my minds eye. The images are to sad to look at, everything associated with gloom. So I remind myself that I’m on my way to see Vanessa and Tristan.
Feeling oddly insecure I do my bet to make myself utterly presentable. As I move around my room, putting on clothes I figured I’d leave here, I notice an air of emptynesss, like my clastorphobic room can tell I’m not coming back for it today.
Just as I’m about to head out the door, into the rain that has steadily grown from a pitter-patter to a full on downpour I notice a black pencil like object lying on my floor. I retreive it, smiling with dark humour as I realise what it is. I roll the eyeliner between my fingers.
“Why the hell not” I say outloud.
A few minute’s and a couple make-up remover pads later, I’m admiring how the black beneath my tear-line make’s the blue in my eye’s seem incredible. I look good with eyeliner. To think, I used to get dizzied by the simple thought of make-up exposing me. Then there was Tristan….
Yes, Tristans done a lot for me in our short time together. Drew me from the closet, pushed me to face my family, brought out things in me I’d never even thought to look for. To think, it all started with a black shirt, a to hot sun, and a fellow fag getting bullied. My love story. Cute.
Eyeliner applied, hair appropriately messy , teeth brushed (I’m expecting a douzy of a goodbye kiss) and clothes smoothed, there’s nothing but goodbye’s to come. I slowly head out into the hall, running my fingers against the wall, saying my own personal goodbye to the house that sheltered my childhood.
Down the stairs that I once fell down and broke my leg, through the kitchen that my mom nagged me about not eating enough in each morning, into the living room where I see Kelseys back-long blond hair flowing off her shoulder. She’s sobbing quitly, sitting huddled against mom. Ryan seems untouched by any of this, and continoue’s watching whatever kiddie show flashes across the T.V. Kelso stands to the side, tears gleaming in his eye’s, but acting to ‘tough guy’ to let them fall.
I join Kelsey and mom on the couch. Kelsey doesn’t acknolege me, to busy pouring fontains of liqiud from her eye’s, but Ryan give’s me the ‘Whats-going-on look, and Kelso nods in reconization. Mom reaches out and touches my face gently for a moment, before continuing to tend to Kelsey.
After twenty minutes of our small family huddling in the living room, eager for comfot that’s not there, I clear my throat. “Mom? I’m going to go… Say my goodbye’s.” I already feel that all to farmilliar squeze in my lungs, telling me to cry.I swallowed, suppressing the urge.
“Okay” my mom says distantly. Kelso trails me to the door, but stops there. I don’t look back at him as I exsit the only house that’ll ever be home. I keep my gaze steadily forward, a good attitude to keep. Just look straight ahead Jessie. Straight ahead.
But because I’m gay, and all concept of straight feels funny to me, I glance back every now and then. This route is so familiar. The one I took home from school and to Vanessa’ house form the very start. I blink back the tears that never seemed to have left.
I stand at the end of the driveway, just staring at the house for a long while. Then I brave myself into walking at an reluctant pace towards the front door. I toucht eh coool metal of the doorknob, but it opens from the other side first.
I’mnot sure how it happened, but me and Vanessa are clinging to each other so tight that myskin’ll surly bruise and sobbing so hard our rib cgaes are about to split open.Were doing this for about five minutes beforeTristan interupts.
“You guys are such dorks” he teases, but the smile on his face doesn’t reach his eye’s. I detach myself from Nessa and fling myself at him. He wraps arms around me and I hope they never ever let go. I feel his breath dance through my hair and his lips placed ontop of my head.
“I’m going to miss you so badly!!!!” I whimper. I sniffle and wipe a runaway tear.
“Shh” Tristan sooths, rubbing my back. His voice is just as shaken though.
“Hate to break you up, but I feel kind of awkward…” Nessa admits.
I draw back from Tristan, but this lack of human contact being unacceptable, he coils an arm around my waist and pulls me along to the living room. There’s no T.V sounds as a backdrop to our activity like their normally is when we sit in here. No it’s silent. Dead silent.
Except of course for the raspy shaky little breaths were all taking, trying to calm ourselves. I rest my head against Tristan’s shoulder, and Nessa holds my hand. Finally, it’s necessary to ask.
“How long can you stay over?” Tristan whispers.
I glance at the clock, feel my stomach drop painfully. “I’m already supposed to be home” I admit.
Nessa gasps at this and Tristans arms that envelops me tightens. I snuggle closer to Tristan, feeling my bottom lip tremble helplessly.
Nessa glomps me from the side in fear. Were all crying, but what can you do? It felt good to have a really good cry, though considering the days to come, I’ll be having a lot of really good cries. To soon, my cell phone buzzes. It’s my mom.
I flip it open “Yeah I’m coming” I hiss, then snap it shut.
I attempt to stand, but am dragged back down. “JESSIE!!!!!” Vanessa whine’s. “You better email me every single day!!! And webcam me to!!” she wails. I have no more tears to give, and am suddenly feeling very empty. I pat her hand though. “I will” I sooth.
“Same here!” Tristan orders, though his voiceis less blubbery.
I nod. Then I’m finally getting up, and I’m actually eager to leave. Once this house is behind me the worst of the pain is behind me with it. Nessa crumples on the couch, making me flinch on the inside.Tristan notices, snakes an arm around me ,and walks me to the door.
In the door way is where he turns me to face him. It hurts to look at him, somyeye’sslid to the floor. He grabs my chin though,and jerks my head up soi’mcaught gazing into his eye’s. his lips part slightly, then he leans forward and kisses a tear I hadn’t even noticed escaping my eye.
“Ever had a long distance relationship?” he whispers.
I choke. Is he suggesting what I think he is? “No” I say to quikly.
“Do you want one…?” the question hangs unanswered for a very tense moment.
“I want anything that has to do with you” I tell him.
And we kiss. Okay ,more specifically, he leans forward and urges my lips apart with his own which is the point when my tongue darts forward to explore his mouth. Him being moreintreasted in playing with my tionue,this results in a very soft war, both of us more concerned with giving the other what he wants then for pleasing ourselves.
But my phone is buzzing again,persistent in my pocket. Tristan groans and pulls back. Clearly I hadn’t been the onlyone enjoying the kiss, because the look in his eye’sis so longing and tender I swear I might just melt on the spot.
“Write me?” he suggests.
“The second I land” I say softly.
“I…. I love you Jessie? You know that right?”
“I do now” I bite my lip, nervous. “And I love you to”
Then I’m gone.
The End
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Number one-I can’t belive how much love this story has gotten
Number two-I cant belive its over
if you have any last opinions on ‘YourMy Dream’ please please please comment them below.
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Dear readers.
I love you. Nuff said.
Love: Maddie/Passion
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