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WARNING: this chapter has foul language, self harm etc
(Sorry, this chapter is all over the place) [VERY important note at the end]
I cried and I cried.
I had cried so much that I didn’t even notice Niall sitting right next to me.
“C’mon mate it’s time to get up” he softly said. I slowly nodded my head and started sitting up. “see that’s a boy, don’t waste your time crying on a person that never was yours to start with” he smiled at me. I widened my eyes, how did Niall I was crying over a person? I don’t remember telling him anything.
“Zayn told me” Niall responded as if he had read my mind. “What exactly did he tell you…”I asked, getting suspicious. “Everything, I kind of suspected something was going on between you and Louis. Although I never really gave it a second glance until recently. ” he explained.
I remained silent, trying to get all of this new information in.
So, Niall knew. “Do you know that Louis is moving in with Eleanor?” I asked him, sulking.
“He is what?!” Niall shouted
“He’s moving.In.With.Eleanor” I slowly repeated
He sent me a flat look. “But she’s a bloody bitch” .
“Tell me about it” I muttered.
“Are you sure he isn’t lying”
“Actually, I’m not sure. But why would he lie about something like that” I replied.
“You never know Harry…” Niall softly suggested.
I felt tears rolling down my eyes. “Niall… I think I want to be left alone for awhile” I asked.
“Say no more” he replied, raising his arms as he left the room.
*************************
A few days had passed, and I didn’t leave the flat.
I had heard Louis come in a couple of times to pack his stuff into boxes, and he hadn’t even looked at me. He simply strutted in, took his stuff and walked out the door, to god knows where.
I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t hurt, because it did. As soon as left, I would burst out crying. As cheesy as this sounded, I just wanted my Boo back.
I missed the times when we hanged out without a worry. I missed the times when we would run to hug each other when we had only been hours apart.
I missed the times when, Louis and I were Larry Stylinson.
************
I was seated on the couch, quietly watching tv.
Well, I want actually really watching tv. It was more like staring at it unaware of what was actually showing.
I wish I was unaware of the whole thing. But something caught my eye. It was Louis, but just not Louis. Eleanor was with him. They appeared to be moving into a white 2 story house. My heart clenched, I really couldn’t deal with it. I felt like I was about to cry. No, scratch that. I was crying.
I had to do something about this. I couldn’t just sit here and watch him move in with Eleanor. It’s about time I manned up and told Louis how I felt.
I got up from from the couch, grabbing my jacket and car keys. I felt a wash of confidence go over me. I could do this, what’s the worse that could happen?
I finally arrived and what appeared to be Louis’ and Eleanor’s new house. Not bad, If I were to say so myself. But this is defiantly not the type of house Louis would buy. It looked to classy, Louis was anything classy. This house looked as if it were built in the 1800’s. Eleanor defiantly chose this house. Louis would much rather prefer a modern house.
I was about to walk up to the door, but then I saw Louis and Eleanor through the open window talking to each other.
It wouldn’t hurt for me to spy on them, right?
I tiptoed to the window and hid behind the bushes, I felt ridiculous doing so but it was for Louis.
From where I was standing, I could see them perfectly and hear them.
They didn’t seem to be doing anything important. Just casually talking.
My eyes widened, no. He’s not doing what I think he is. He can’t do that.
No, no, no.
He was on one knee, slowly taking out a ring from his back pocket. Eleanor was squealing in excitement.
My breath hitched, he couldn’t. He didn’t love her, why would he? Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he did love her. Alot.
“Eleanor Calder, will you marry me?”
He said it. He really said it.
I heard Eleanor squeal “Yes, Louis!”
I clenched my teeth. I don’t know what I was thinking, I really don’t know why I did.
I stormed into the house, not caring if I hurt myself. I was furious, but not Eleanor or Louis. I was furious at myself.
Louis and Eleanor looked at me in surprise, but before they could say anything I spoke up. “What the fuck are you doing Louis?” I nearly shouted, my voice threatening to crack “You don’t love her, why did you just propose to her? YOU’RE GOING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE” I shouted, unable to control myself. What was wrong with me, I needed to stop. I looked over at Eleanor and saw her looking shocked.
“HARRY HOW DARE YOU FUCKING SAY THAT YOU PRICK, I CAN MARRY WHOEVER I WANT. SHE IS MY FIANCÉ NOW, GET OVER THAT FUCKING FACT. I LOVE HER, NOBODY ELSE.” Louis screamed.
Tears rimmed my eyes, he loved her. I was a complete fool.
He didn’t love anybody else. He didn’t love me. “Well others love you” I whispered, a tear rolling down my face. “Oh, and who would that be?” He said, bitterly laughing.
A silence filled the air as I prepared to say one simple word.
“Me”
Louis’ eyes widened. He looked at me in complete and utter shock. I saw his expression change into one that I had never seen before. But it was gone before I could register it and replaced with no expression what so ever.
“Nobody loves a faggot, Harry”
My heart stopped. He didn’t just say that. I looked up at him, with tsunami tides, in my eyes.
I play over what he said. Nobody loves a faggot.
I was so stupid. What was I thinking? That he was going suddenly ‘dump’ Eleanor then run off into the sunset with me? My heart ached. I couldn’t bear this anymore, the pain was just too much.
I ran out of his house and kept running until I reached our- I mean, my flat.
I fumbled with the flat keys until the door opened. I hadn’t cut since 2010, and I couldn’t believe I was going to do it.
I needed to find my razor, to remind myself that there is a pain worser than what I’m feeling right now.
I grabbed my trusty ol’ razor and began cutting my wrists. Blood was pouring out of my wrists, the pain was unbearable. I loved it. I knew I wasn’t going to stop cutting. Today there would be no stop. I did one final deep cut which I knew would do the trick.
I got out a piece of paper and began writing with shaky hands.
“Dear lads,
I love you all so much, never forget that. You have been the best friends I have ever had. Please don’t be too harsh on yourselves and tell Louis the same. Tell my family I love them, and not to worry. I’m probably going to be going to a better place anyway.
I can’t write any longer but please give this next bit to Louis.
Hey Louis,
Y’know, I remember when I first met you in the X factor bathrooms. Oh what a character you were. Maybe that’s the day I fell in love with you.
I love everything about you, I would list it all but I’m kind of getting tired. Don’t feel bad about anything, it’s not your fault you don’t like me. To be honest, I don’t think I like myself either.
I can’t feel my left arm anymore
I guess I should stop now.
Yours forever,
Harry.
The end.
JOKING JOKING. Please don’t kill me. Some things are going to be revealed in the next chapter.
Comment what you think below
Also thank you SO much for voting! 45 votes? 42 comments? 2K READS! WOAH! I love you all so much.
~Dammy101
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