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Do read author note.
Lorn shook his head in disbelief, arms crossed over his chest.
Verger kept his apartment key under the doormat.
He lived in Viscount Street and he kept his key under the damn doormat.
Lorn came to realize that once his friend ceased to answer the door and he looked there curiously.
Unlocking it, he entered the apartment with the good as new lamp in hand. After successfully stepping over countless gibberish, he got to the collection of Verger’s lamps and placed the one he brought aside. He stepped back and shook his head again, eyeing the collection and the rest of the disastrous room as if for the first time.
What was even up with his friend?
Boyfriend, he remembered the term with a side smile the moment he saw that photo of them at Nigel’s birthday party, cuddling on a couch while sucking on linked smoothers.
He took the photo from its place on the bookshelf and slid it in his back pocket, then and sat on the bed, taking out his phone to call Verger. Just as he got to tap his contact number, he heard water noise coming from the bathroom.
Lorn squinted curiously and went there, silently opening the door and peeking in. He grinned.
The bathtub was filled with water, and a blurry, wavy Verger figure could be seen sunken in. Lorn sneaked to the tub and towered over the man, hands on the edges.
Sensing the shadow, Verger opened his eyes in a squint and grinned up, at which Lorn grinned back. Verger then pursed his lips, so Lorn closed his eyes tight and lowered his face in the water, meeting the man’s lips.
In return, Verger pulled him in.
The man’s entire mass fell in with a loud, loud splash, sending a quarter of the water flying everywhere.
“You díck shitting fuçkwad!” he yelled, quickly throwing the contents of his pockets on the side of the tub.
“Not like you had anything in there.” Verger laughed, picking up the leather wallet and darting it aside. His eyebrows raised curiously and his laughter died when he noticed the photo of them. “But what could this have been doing there?”
Lorn had yet to get over the fact he was drenched from head to toe, with his clothes glued to him like a second skin, so he searched his mind for the rudest possible thing to answer.
“I was going to keep it in my back pocket to amortize my farts.”
Verger burst into laughter, and it intensified once he darted another glance at his furious looking man.
“Oh come on, who got your panties in a twist? It could be the water.”
“You are butt naked, I have perfect aim on your díck and I can ravage it.”
“That a promise?” Verger leaned in.
Lorn raised a leg and took off his boot, poured water out of it and darted it away, doing the same with the next one. His eyebrows had raised a little at the joke.
Verger gingerly touched Lorn’s jaw with his nose, then pecked it. In turn, Lorn snapped his head to the right and stole a kiss. Verger raised a hand an touched the man’s neck, at which Lorn pulled back with a violent shudder.
“God!” he exclaimed, taking Verger’s hand and inspecting it. “How long have you been in the water?! For a second I thought I was making out with my grandpa!”
Verger glanced at the tips of his fingers, wrinkled and pale.
“Who even takes baths still?” Lorn murmured, peeling off his shirt and darting it on the floor.
“I don’t do it often, but I needed the comfort.” he reached a hand behind and rubbed his lower back with his knuckles, wincing.
Lorn just got to pull his pants off, and when he heard that he gaped at Verger, letting the pair drop on the wet pile gathered. “Don’t tell me it…”
“Hurt, yes.” Verger scoffed. “Spit doesn’t really work like a charm.” he faded off upon noticing the man’s expression. “Lorn, really, it was my best ever, I’m just sore, I’m used to…” he shook his head. “It’s fine!”
“You’re used to it…” Lorn placed his elbows on the edge of the tub and ran his hands through his slicked back hair. His blonde strand now looked of a dark honey shade, a defined line standing out in the blackness. “I was supposed to treat you better.”
“Lorn, we were being chased by a mob. Come on, don’t make a thing out of it, I loved it.” he hugged his naked back and placed his head on his shoulder.
“There’s a difference between loving rough and loving violent.” Lorn murmured.
“If you go vanilla sex on me I’m dumping your ass.”
Lorn scoffed, turning his head and pecking Verger’s lips. “You’re going to wish you didn’t say that.”
Verger grinned widely, then moved Lorn to the side of the bathtub that was tilted. The man leaned on it and Verger easily slid over, the water that was turning cold waving around with clear, light sounds.
“Let’s make this our laziest day. Sit on our butts all day and not care about the fact we’re broke and the street’s current rumor.”
“Well yes as long as our butts won’t be seated here. I just don’t dig the wrinkly skin, and the water is turning cold.”
Verger opened the faucet and let steam hot water pour. “Just a little.”
Lorn sighed, moving around to make himself comfortable, a surprisingly easy task despite the man on him. With girls it was all about avoiding pressure on their boobs and getting their hair in each facial cavity existent.
“Just a little.” he murmured, feeling the hot water tickle its way around his torso, pushing away the cold one. He shuddered pleasantly and hugged Verger tighter.
Remembering his sore butt, he slowly brushed a hand down Verger’s body, feeling goosebumps tickle the tips of his fingers. He started rubbing his lower back, and the man groaned in content.
It turned into a snicker when Lorn went for a buttock and gripped it handful.
“How’s it like?”
“Firm…”
“I mean,” Verger scoffed, “the entire… thing.” he moved his chin on Lorn’s chest, looking him in the eyes.
“The…” Lorn squinted. “The…” he couldn’t call it gay since he never even stopped to think on the matter. He just up and found himself in a relationship with his best friend. “The you?”
“The… yeah. I mean, homoerotic stuff.”
Lorn rolled his head back, his neck comfortably resting on Verger’s arm. “‘Ts pretty damn cool.”
Verger laughed. “It’s just… I’m a dude, you know.”
“Yes I can feel that, on my thigh.”
Verger only thrust his shaft closer to Lorn’s, snickering. The man pinched his butt with a frown.
“I sometimes have these moments of realization and sort of… brain-fart. But then it’s all good. I mean one can never truly know thy self, it’s life experiences that help one get closer to revealing it.”
“You could’ve quit the British accent but I get you.”
Lorn chuckled, moving Verger’s hair out of the way. Whereas the water moved Lorn’s hair back, it made it so that Verger’s was completely covering his features in a stupid mess.
“But enough about me, how’s it like to you?”
Verger raised his eyebrows, moving back a little. His eyes went up and down his friend, lips slowly partying and his cheekbones rounding up.
“Man…” he shook his head. “I keep wondering what if we didn’t meet that day? If I didn’t turn back when you scoffed? If I didn’t steal that lamp? Shit.” he laughed. “The lamp is the start of it all!”
“Huh?”
“The police chase! We kissed for the first time, and then I came out to you on the roof.”
Lorn laughed that surprised laughter of his and palmed his forehead. “We’re just… weird.”
“Weird.” Verger pecked his nose. “Friends.” he pecked his cheek. “Forever.” he kissed him.
“Boyfriends.” Lorn corrected with a roll of the eyes. Verger scrunched up his nose at the term, too.
“Man-friends.”
“Hulk-friends.”
“Polka-fries.”
“Light-bulb.”
“Mosh-pit.”
“Dog-spit.”
“Sunflower.”
“Díck-flock.”
Lorn sighed, but then it turned into a snort. “What a mental image…” his snort turned rhythmic until he was laughing low an uncontrollable, as if he was too lazy to do it but it was slowly taking over.
Verger echoed it dumbly, and then he pulled himself higher, too see Lorn well. He put a cap to the man’s laughter by kissing him slowly, on pace with the fingers still messing with his buttocks.
“God, I’m kissing an eggplant or what.” Lorn chuckled, glancing down at the pale lips of Verger. “We really need to get you out.”
“Take care of me.” the man grinned. The hot water must’ve gotten to their heads by now.
Lorn smooched him thrice before moving him away and standing up. Verger shamelessly watched his perfectly syncing muscles, bumps forming where he expected the least with each move he made.
Lorn slipped into a robe, then eyed the seven others hanging by the hanger.
“How the fuçk does one steal bath-robes?”
“Hotels.” Verger grinned. “I checked in for a night just to get the pearl white one.”
“This one?”
“That’s snow white you dummy!”
“Sky-red/orange, pearl white/snow white, would you just-” he motioned with three fingers pressed together. He sighed and took another robe.
“You can’t be serious.”
Lorn gawked at him.
“That is light blue all day!”
“I’ll take the light blue belt and strangle you until you turn the same shade.”
Verger hid half his face with his arms, crossed on the edge.
Lorn blinked, and the eyes blinked back from under the wet, messy black hair.
He took the last robe that wasn’t colored and moved to the bathtub, holding it open. Verger rose clumsily and stumbled, lightheaded from the hours spent in water, so Lorn hugged him with the material and then picked him up bridal style.
Verger laughed, slipping his arms in the sleeves before wrapping them around his friend’s neck.
“I have something for you.” Lorn announced once they exited the bathroom.
Verger silently waited for Lorn to kick and stumble his way through 7 meters of mess until they reached the collection of lamps. Verger gaped, swinging his legs.
“It’s finished!”
“Don’t act so surprised.” Lorn murmured, placing him on his feet.
“After meeting Otie I’m surprised you made it out alive.” Verger laughed, approaching the lamp with his hands raised. But then he took a step back, looked left and right, and got on messing the order of lamps, moving them around seemingly strategic.
But once he was done, the order was just as random. Clearly he had issues. Still, Lorn watched it all with an involuntary smirk, and it widened when Verger hurried to the windows, pulling the curtain close. His díck dangled all the way there, very much amusing.
He returned and wasted no time in turning on each lamp, click after click in a different tone each. The darkness of the room steadily changed shades until it was all a mess of colors, like a paused disco room.
Lorn laughed impressed and welcomed Verger into his arms. He looked at his face, a canvas splattered with bright, contrasting colors, and then leaned in for a kiss. He let his tongue slip out and meet Verger’s, though he pushed that aside and let his enter deeply, the way he knew Verger liked.
The man puffed helplessly and pulled back with a cough. “Seriously what are you.” he laughed, wiped his chin and kissed him once again, this time managing to receive the tongue with a hum.
Taking advantage of his friend’s distraction, Lorn slipped his toes under Verger’s more and more until the man’s feet were on his. Then, he started walking towards the bed, but a stumble brought Verger out of his trance.
“I have a better idea.” he panted, then walked away, the scent of his shower products trailing after him.
Lorn watched curiously as Verger took a long piece of material from the drawer of a nightstand placed on top of another. He unfolded it with a grin almost as wide as the material, which turned out to have thin ropes at the endings.
“Is… Is that a hammock?” Lorn approached as quickly as the mess around let him. Really, it was a disaster. Sure, things were in some sort of order or another (not after Lorn went Gorilla-on-Tokyo- over them) but they were everywhere.
“Yes.”
“Should I ask?”
“Summer festival, this guy kept joking around saying me and my friend should steal it. We did! It was so easy, no one guarded shit.”
He tied one rope to a thin, rusty but strong looking pipe, and the other around the bookshelf by his bed. With that, he freely fell in, the material hugging him like a pod would peas.
Lorn slowly lied down, weary to test the thing’s capacity. Verger kindly pulled him down the way he did in the bathtub, and Lorn was beginning to develop trust issues concerning his lover.
“Shit…” he drew out the word, not even needing to shift around to find comfort. That there was the comfort he wished would never leave for the rest of his days.
His sore muscles from yesterday’s activity ached with the lack of contraction, but it was a pleasant feeling. The open window let in the background noise of the street, a nice murmur of birds, arguing couples, police sirens… Really, it became therapeutic at some point in Lorn’s life.
And, opening his eyes, he could see the warehouse in the distance, as always. Dark birds were aligned on the many cables connected to it like dried, bruised arteries and veins to a heart that had long since stopped beating.
Verger moved a leg to the side and pushed the hammock, sending them rocking gently. Lorn groaned happily and snuggled into the man, who in turn got on pecking him all over, taking advantage of his inability to respond. It was kind of weird when he got to the eyes, but Lorn was done.
“Can we just… do this forever?” he sighed.
“Well if my basketball contest wouldn’t have been interrupted and if you wouldn’t have been a sappy ass by refusing to punch me, we would afford to do this for weeks.”
“I’ll accept that photo of toddler me wearing a dress, I’ll accept snuggling up to you like a little bitch, I’ll accept sucking on soothers and even díck, I’ll accept- I’ll accept taking you but it gets to a point. I will not. Restrain. From being the protective alpha.”
Five swings of the hammock later and Verger replied.
“You’ll let me top?”
“I didn’t even begin to hope you’d perceive something else.”
“Seriously, you would?”
“Drunk and stoned and on the verge of dying of cancer, yes…”
“I hear the cell of cancer is injectable.”
“I wouldn’t even put it past you to go there for my booty.”
“Booty… more like… Big-Boot.” Verger sneaked a hand down Lorn’s back, but the man swatted it away, and Verger let the arm hang by the side of the hammock in defeat. “Seriously you could bust nuts with that. I mean the edible nuts. I mean edible as in the ones you can digest.”
Lorn laughed hysterically. “Oh, babe.”
Verger squealed unattractively at the petname, rolling left and right and causing them to rock violently, with the rusty pipe creaking.
“This is not relaxing! Stop!” Lorn growled, pressing an arm to Verger’s neck. The man rolled his eyes back and made choking noises, then went limp.
Lorn sighed, settling down. “Dead you is a cool idea actually. No stupid puns, no díck jokes, no drama…”
“Shut up.” Verger scoffed, hugging Lorn’s head into his smooth, warm chest. Then, he bent down and softly kissed him on his plump lips, smooch after smooch.
Lorn was too lazy to return them, but smiling didn’t prove to take much effort.
“I still can’t believe yesterday happened. We happened.” Verger laughed. “They should make a movie on us, or a book.”
“Or a porn.”
Verger hummed. “I mean, we are pretty low on money.”
Lorn sighed. “Verger can you just…” he nudged his head around, like a tom would do to announce its mean to nap.
Verger lowered a leg and swung them for a last time before letting himself relax fully.
Some time later, Lorn got to feel his friend’s breath turn slow and rhythmic, he himself felt half spaced out, when a loud thud went heard in the apartment.
He halted, causing the hammock to swing all around, but Verger steadied them, experienced. They looked at the source of sound and there was a big, battered boot with messy scribbles on it.
:*
>:D<
<3 8===D~
“What in the fuçk.” Lorn’s voice was already raspy. They both squinted at the boot, and Verger laughed violently enough to fall back on the hammock. Lorn remained bent up. “What does that mean!”
“Come on, don’t you internet?”
“I don’t computer.” Lorn complained.
Verger sighed, pulling him back down. “The first means…” he pecked Lorn’s lips.
“How the- is there an internet language or something…” he murmured in wonder.
Verger rolled his eyes with a faint smile. “The second means…” and then he wrapped Lorn tightly, burying his head in the man’s shoulder.
“Awww.” Lorn chuckled. “These are fun.”
“And the next one means…” he placed a hand on Lorn’s heart, smiling thinly.
Lorn crossed his eyes and tilted his head in the mock of a sappy gaze of sorts. “That would have to be my very favorite…” he whispered shakily, a pout to go.
“Not so fast…” Verger winked with a jerk of the head, that thing that Lorn never managed to copy.
“Hey faggots!”
Both heads snapped towards the window, and the couple took their time in moving there. Verger leaned on the sill and Lorn leaned onto his back, darting an arm around him.
“Awww, look at them with their little fluffy robes!” one of Lorn’s friends cooed, swinging left and right.
There were also some of Verger’s friends, three of which were Troy, Chuck and Adolf. In total, twelve people stood gazing at the couple with matching grins, well of course Chuck’s beat everyone.
“No, it’s a two-way thing, go home.” Lorn snapped, grinning lazily.
“That’s no fun.” Troy teased. “Seriously, come hang out.”
“Not today.” Verger said. “We’re just gonna… chill.” he shrugged at a loss of cleverer words.
“I’ll remember that the next time you’re being chased by a buncha mangy monkeys.” Troy waved a finger, which bent into a hook when he remembered just who he was standing near. More than a handful of said mangy monkeys. “I mean.” he started limping away.
Everyone laughed and a few swatted him playfully, but Verger bent down. “You okay?”
“It’s nothing.” he shrugged, glancing at the injured leg, then began to move away along with the crowd. “See you!” Troy then did some sort of sign with a hand, from his forehead to his belly before pointing his pinkie and pointer at his eyes.
“D…” Lorn began. “Did he… what was that.”
“Oh, he wishes that Satan be with us or something. It’s a nice gesture coming from him.” he waved it off.
“Verger, seriously.” Lorn started walking backwards. “A Satanist, a junkie, a guy with knives, a sociopath asshole and then a streetfighter that still laughs at his own farts. You should really do a double take on your standards.”
He then slumped down on the hammock, which immediately sent him to the ground, on his back. Verger laughed his way to Lorn and then leaned across the hammock on his belly, swinging gently while grinning at Lorn, who lied there groaning.
“I may take you up on that.” Verger teased, then swung enough to reach down and peck Lorn. The man bit him maliciously and then sighed, rolling his head to the right.
That allowed him view on the boot nearby, and he extended an arm towards it. “What’s that?” he asked, poking the last character.
Verger grinned that way, then at Lorn. “That…” he placed a hand on Lorn’s chest before letting it slide down slowly.
Lorn frowned curiously, then gaped and chuckled, rolling his head up. Verger’s fingers got to his abs, scratching them lightly, and then they ventured lower.
Lorn bit his lip and arched his back expectantly. When nothing happened, he opened his eyes to the view of Verger really close to him, his eyes half closed and his lips barely arched in a smile.
“Well?”
“Go drink an egg.”
The end.
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I used the excuse of homework to get my hands on internet and post this. I hope the chapter wasn’t suckish, I just lack that spark ever since the parents deal.
I will somehow try and keep stories coming. All sneaky and shit. I got a few tricks up my sleeve
Thank you for the support, I read each and every message today and am planning to show them to my parents. Maybe it’ll help.
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