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A/N : Trigger warning mentions of SA
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Two months later, Paul was watching as Samuel wore a hole in their living room floor.
‘Samuel…’
Samuel didn’t hear him.
‘Samuel.’
Samuel continued to pace restlessly without paying him a glance.
‘Samuel!’
‘What?’ Samuel snapped irritably. He sighed and passed a hand through his hair tiredly. ‘I’m sorry, it’s just…’
‘You seem stressed,’ Paul pointed out.
‘Oh really?’ Samuel retorted. ‘And here I thought that sleepless nights and shadows under my eyes were just good for my skin.’
‘It’s very interesting how you subconsciously channel Jayden whenever you get anxious,’ Paul noted thoughtfully.
Samuel sighed and dropped down on the couch beside him. ‘It’s not subconscious. Just being with him helps me feel better but since he can’t be by my side 24/7, channelling him is my way of feeling closer to him.’
Paul regarded his best friend closely. ‘How is Jayden?’
‘He’s a rock.’
‘I sense a complaint.’
‘He’s being too understanding about the whole thing.’
Paul was puzzled. ‘And that is a bad thing?’
‘I know him. He’s burying his feelings just to make me happy. He refuses to talk about anything relating to Pearl. One word about the baby and he immediately clams up. It’s like he’s pretending it doesn’t exist.’
Paul thought about it for a minute. ‘Do you want my advice?’
‘No,’ Samuel answered wearily. ‘But you’re just going to give it to me, anyway, aren’t you?’
‘You know me so well,’ Paul responded with a grin. ‘Anyway, my advice is to stop pestering him. Leave him to come to terms with the situation in his own time. He doesn’t need you to help him process it.’
Samuel opened his mouth to speak but Paul cut him off.
‘I know you’re going to deny it but it’s true. The reason you want him to talk to you is because you think he needs your help in processing it. I know you mean well but he is a grown man. He doesn’t need you to tell him what he’s feeling and quite frankly, I think he’s sick of you trying to.’
Samuel wanted to retort but he realized he had nothing to say. As much as he hated to admit it Paul was right, and for the sake of his relationship, he should probably work on his saviour complex impulses.
He settled with throwing a glare at his best friend. ‘I hate you, you know that, right?’
‘I love you too, buddy.’ Paul sat back with a content sigh. ‘I really do give great advice, don’t I?’
‘Calm down, O wise one. All your advice is not as helpful as you think it is.’
‘Really?’ Paul challenged. ‘Try me then. Hit me with your best shot.’
‘Fine.’ Samuel sat up. ‘O great and majestic prince, enlightened star of the nation, how do I solve the issue of not getting married to the future mother of my child whilst leaving both our reputations intact.’
Paul considered his question thoughtfully. ‘You and Jayden have the most unfortunate luck. First, he was forced to marry Valentina, now you are forced to marry Pearl. It’s like fate is trying to tell you something. Maybe you are not meant to be together in this life.’
Samuel gave him a droll look. ‘Is that your great advice?’
‘Patience, my child.’ Paul frowned. ‘I can see a pattern here. Back then, Valentina was able to succeed in getting engaged to Jayden because she had someone powerful behind the scenes backing her up. It’s very possible that there is someone pulling the strings behind the scenes now.’
‘There is. It’s Valentia.’
Paul looked up in surprise before laughing to himself. ‘Of course, it is. Anyway, there’s your answer. Do what you did the last time.’
Samuel frowned. ‘Become her friend?’
Paul scoffed. ‘As despicable as she is, she is not as mercurial as that crazy blonde bastard.’ He shook his head. ‘No. What you need to do is trust Jayden.’
Samuel slumped down. ‘He doesn’t even want to talk about it.’
‘Just trust him. Do you really think he’s going to let you marry her without putting up a fight? I’m sure he’s concocting an ingenious plan right now even as we speak.’
Samuel thought about it. ‘You’re right.’
‘Of course, I am. See, I told you. I give the best advice.’
Samuel chortled. ‘Sorry for doubting you, enlightened one. I’m sure you would be a wise king one day.’
Paul’s smile dropped at his words, but Samuel didn’t notice because right at that moment, a knock came from the door.
Noel walked in soon after and glanced uncertainly at the friends on the couch. ‘Sorry, am I interrupting something?’
‘Nope,’ Samuel answered brightly.
‘Did you need something?’ Paul asked.
Noel averted his gaze. ‘Can I talk to you for a minute?’
‘Of course,’ Paul said, already halfway out of his seat.
‘Not you,’ Noel said quickly. ‘I meant Samuel.’
Samuel glanced quizzically at Paul before responding. ‘Erm, sure I guess.’
‘I’ll leave you two alone then.’
Noel waited until Paul had left the room before sighing and collapsing into the couch beside Samuel.
‘Do you think I hurt his feelings?’
‘Nah,’ Samuel answered dismissively. ‘You know Paul. Never explains, never complains.’
‘Really?’
Noel’s tone was hopeful.
‘Definitely. By the way, how are the two of you doing? It hasn’t been that long since you started dating.’
Noel let out a heavy sigh. ‘That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.’
Samuel sat up. ‘Is everything alright?’
‘Everything is great. It’s just…’
‘Why am I sensing a complaint?’
‘It’s not really a complaint. It’s just…,’ Noel turned his face away in an attempt to hide his embarrassment as his voice dropped to a whisper. ‘We haven’t… you know… done it yet.’
Samuel stared blankly at him. ‘Done what?’
‘You know. It.’
Samuel gave him a deadpan stare. ‘You are going to have to be more specific.’
‘Oh, my God! Sex! We haven’t had sex yet,’ he blurted out before burying his face into a throw pillow.
The room was silent for a few moments before Noel heard muffled giggles coming from his side. He pulled his face out of the pillow and shot Samuel a glare.
‘It’s not funny,’ he snapped.
Samuel tried to control his laughter, but one look at Noel’s face had him dissolving into another fit of giggles.
‘Are you done?’
‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry,’ Samuel straightened up as he wiped the tears from his face. ‘I’m not laughing at what you said. It’s just how you said it. I knew what you meant I just wanted you to say the words out loud.’
He broke out into another fit of giggles.
‘I’m glad my problem is a source of amusement.’
Samuel cleared his throat. ‘Sorry, so erm yeah. You, Paul… sex. Got it.’ He suddenly frowned. ‘But why are you talking to me about it?’
Noel wrinkled his nose. ‘Well, I certainly can’t tell Jayden. He sees me as a pure innocent child and not as a person who has sexual urges.’
Samuel gave him a look. ‘Wow, you’ve really come into your own huh?’
Noel shifted his glasses. ‘I am a teenager. I have hormones.’
The entire conversation was so bizarre, Samuel didn’t know whether to be disgusted or amused. ‘Good to know.’
Noel let out a content sigh. ‘It feels so good to finally talk to someone about this.’
‘Why does it have to be me though? Shouldn’t you be talking to your boyfriend about this?’ Samuel pointed out.
Noel shook his head. ‘It has to be you. You are the only one who can help me.’
Samuel suddenly had an uneasy feeling on the back of his neck. ‘Why do I feel like I’m walking into a trap?’
‘Well,’ Noel corrected his previous statement. ‘To be more accurate, I just need you to get the person who can help me to agree to help.’
‘Help with what?’
‘Paul and I have been dating for more than a month now, and though we sleep together sometimes, we haven’t actually slept together.’
Samuel wished he was anywhere in the world right now.
‘It’s not that we don’t want to. I can see the way he hungrily stares at me when he thinks I’m not looking, and I definitely want to take all of him inside me.’
Forget being anyway else, Samuel just wished that the ground would open up and swallow him right there and then.
‘The problem is,’ Noel continued to say. ‘He keeps holding himself back and I understand why. He is afraid of doing anything that would bring up traumatic memories of that night when I was… yeah. I want to tell him that it would be alright, that we can… that I can do this, but the problem is…’
‘You can’t,’ Samuel finished slowly.
‘I tried, I really did, and I thought I moved on but he’s always there. Like a shadow on the wall, or a nightmare creeping at the edges of my dream. I hate it so much; I just want to move away from that part of my life so I can have sex with my boyfriend without breaking down.’
‘I’m so sorry, Noel. I didn’t know you were still dealing with this.’
Noel wiped away angry tears from his eyes and smiled at Samuel. ‘Don’t be sorry. I didn’t know either. That’s why I need your help.’
‘I still don’t understand what you want me to do.’
‘I need to move on, and I think I can only do so if I faced that part of my life again.’
Samuel’s uneasiness snapped back. ‘Why do I not like the sound of that?’
‘You’re going to like it even less.’ Noel took a deep breath and looked directly into his eyes. ‘I need to speak with Charles.’
Samuel’s expression immediately froze.
‘Please,’ Noel entreated. ‘I have to do this.’
‘You don’t know what you’re asking. Besides, it’s not as if you can just waltz into the prison and demand to see him.’
‘I know, that’s why I need your help.’
Samuel let out a humourless laugh as Noel’s intention dawned on him ‘I see so that’s why you came to me. You want me to convince Jayden to use his family’s influence to get you in.’
Noel nodded. ‘He will do it if you ask him to. He always listens to you.’
Samuel snorted. ‘How I wish that were true.’ He shook his head. ‘You think I am taking it badly, wait till Jayden hears about this.’
Noel looked up at him hopefully. ‘Does that mean you would do it?’
‘No.’
Noel’s face fell. ‘But…’
‘How do you expect me to convince him of something I am not convinced of myself?’
‘I have to do this Samuel. I need to look him in the eyes and ask him why he did that to me, how he could do that to me. I need to confront my past, so I can move on to my future with no unresolved issues. You do understand that don’t you?’
Samuel looked at Noel’s pleading face and sighed. ‘I do, but that doesn’t mean I like it.’ He let out another sigh. ‘Fine, I’ll speak to Jayden, but you have to ask him yourself.’
‘But…’
Samuel shook his head. ‘He has to hear it from you. He’ll be more willing to listen to me if he thinks I have nothing to do with it.’
Noel nodded as Samuel’s intentions slowly became clear to him. He paused and glanced uncertainly at Samuel.
‘You’re not going to mention this to Paul, are you?’
‘Do you want me to?’
Noel shook his head.
‘Then I won’t.’
Noel’s shoulders slumped in relief. ‘Thank you. I’m not trying to keep secrets from him I just don’t want him to worry. Besides, this is something I need to do on my own.’
‘I understand. I’m not going to tell him anything. Just worry about how you’re going to break the news to Jayden.’
Noel stared wistfully at the door. ‘He’s not going to take it well.’
Samuel let out a humourless snort. ‘That is putting it very lightly.’
~
‘Have you run mad?’
Jayden’s voice was incredulous as he stared down at his best friend.
‘No, I am not. I just-‘
‘Is it a case of possession then? Do I need to ring for an exorcist?’
Noel flinched but stood his ground. ‘It’s not outlandish to seek answers.’
‘Absolutely not.’
Jayden’s voice was firm as he glared unmovably at Noel. ‘I forbid you from speaking with him.’
‘Jayden, don’t be unreasonable I…’ Noel tried to say before Jayden cut him off.
‘Unreasonable? I am trying to protect you, yet here you, are willing to step right into the jaws of that deplorable beast. I might as well just serve you up on a silver platter with a bottle of Pinot Noir and save you the extra step.’
‘You don’t understand. I have to…’
‘You don’t have to do anything,’ Jayden snapped. ‘Just leave him to spend the rest of his contemptible life rotting in that cell.’
‘Doesn’t he just have a thirty-year sentence?’ Samuel, who had been silent until then, spoke up.
‘Not if I have anything to do with it.’
‘Jayden, please,’ Noel stepped closer to him and took his hands into his own. ‘I know you are trying to protect me, and I love you for that, but I need to do this.’
The vengeful rage disappeared from Jayden’s eyes as he looked down at his best friend. ‘I’m sorry, but my answer is no. The last time I listened to you about him and let you do what you wanted, you got hurt. I’m not going to make the same mistake twice.’
Noel let go of his hands and stepped back. ‘I am not a child,’ he said frustratedly. ‘You cannot protect me from everything.’
‘I am very well going to try,’ Jayden shot back.
It was starting to get heated, and Samuel began to wonder if he should step in and calm things down before it got out of hand.
‘I don’t need you to protect me,’ Noel snapped. ‘I am capable of taking care of myself.’
‘You have a very poor history of doing so if I recall or have you forgotten what that bastard did to you?’
Noel stared at him in shock for a few seconds before exploding with fury. ‘How dare you?’
Jayden suddenly realized what he had said. ‘Noel, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean…’
‘I haven’t forgotten, I can’t forget. That’s the fucking problem! I want to forget; I keep praying that I would wake up one day and it would have all been a bad dream but guess what? It’s not, and I go to sleep every night just to escape from my living nightmare, but he’s always there. At the edges of my dreams. He haunts me, and you have the gall to ask me if I’ve forgotten?’
Noel’s body shook with rage as he glared at Jayden. ‘You think I don’t blame myself? Trust me, I have enough guilt to keep me awake at night without you piling on to it. I am going to get rid of his ghost and I’m going to speak with him to do it with or without your help.’
He stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.
Jayden stared at the closed door and let out a tired sigh. He rubbed his forehead tiredly as Samuel softly walked up to him.
‘Are you alright?’ he asked gently.
‘Why is our life so complicated?’
A small smile appeared on Samuel’s lips. ‘Would it be interesting if it wasn’t?’ he answered as he reached up to gently massage Jayden’s shoulders. ‘Imagine how bored we would be without the occasional drama to keep things lively.’
Jayden snorted. ‘I don’t mind boring. At this point, I’ll kill for boredom. In my head, we are living a quiet life on a farm out in the country with you taking care of the animals and me buried in the attic surrounded by my art.’ He paused and added, ‘I’ve even been considering taking a shot at gardening. A simple life just wasting away our years together and a shotgun by my side to shoot at anyone who approaches our door with even a hint of drama.’
‘Sounds very idyllic.’
Jayden sighed. ‘I know, and I hate the country.’
Samuel’s fingers paused as he hesitated with his next words. ‘You know he has a point, right?’
Jayden gave a dry smile. ‘I was wondering when I was going to hear your opinion.’
Samuel shrugged. ‘Someone has to be the voice of reason. Besides, it’s not like we can stop him.’
‘I actually could though,’ Jayden pointed out thoughtfully.
‘But he will resent you for it, and I know that more than anything, you want him to heal and move on from that part of his life.’
Jayden turned and looked directly at him. ‘Do you think it will work?’
‘I honestly do not know. It could make things better, but it can also make things worse.’
Jayden turned away in frustration. ‘How can I let him see that monster on a what-if? I promised myself to never let him anyway near that bastard again.’ His voice broke as he struggled to continue. ‘I ignored my instincts the first time and let him get close even though everything in me was screaming not to. I warned him… the first time I found out that he was in love with him, I warned him. I should have done more, if I had just listened to my instincts and forced him away, he wouldn’t have been…’
Samuel stared at Jayden’s clenched fists as he finally realised something. ‘Noel is not the only one who blames himself for what happened, is he?’
Angry tears silently rolled down Jayden’s face. ‘It’s my fault. I ignored my instincts; I believed him when he told me that Charles was different, that he had changed. I can’t really blame him because, for a time, I actually believed it too. I should have-‘
‘You couldn’t have done anything and you shouldn’t have to,’ Samuel cut in firmly. ‘It wasn’t his fault, and it is not your fault either. Charles is the one to blame, not you. Do not take responsibility for the despicable actions of a monster.’
Jayden glanced down at their hands. ‘And despite all that you still want me to let Noel see him?’
‘Yes, because it is not our choice to make. It was not our choice to allow him to love him then and it is not our choice to stop him from seeing him now. Despite our best intentions, it is his life, and he has the right to decide how to live it.’
He took Jayden’s hand.
‘I know it hurt you to see something like that happen to him, it hurt me too, but at the end of the day, the one who was hurt the most was Noel. It’s his trauma and if he thinks that is the best way to handle it then as his friends all we can do is support him the best way we can.’
Jayden considered his words for a few minutes before conceding. ‘Fine, I’ll do it.’ He closed his eyes and muttered, ‘And I hope to God, I don’t regret it.’
Samuel rubbed his arm comfortingly. ‘For what it’s worth I think you’re making the right choice.’
Jayden’s reopened and he fixed Samuel with a curious gaze. ‘To date, I still have absolutely no idea how you are able to make me change my mind.’
‘I make a persuasive argument, I guess,’ Samuel offered.
Jayden shook his head. ‘Whatever it is, it definitely works. I suspect that’s why Noel went to you first.’
Samuel’s features took on a guilty look. ‘How did you figure it out?’
‘It’s not exactly rocket science.’
‘Right,’ Samuel laughed awkwardly. ‘Thankfully, Paul is not as sharp as you.’
Jayden let out an undignified snort at that which caused Samuel to poke him teasingly in the ribs.
‘Don’t think I don’t notice the dirty looks you’ve been giving him since they started dating.’
Jayden avoided his eyes. ‘I have no idea what you are talking about.’
‘I honestly don’t get it though. You’ve known Paul for I don’t even know how long. You know he’s a good guy, you can trust him.’
‘It’s nothing personal, I just can’t trust my best friend with anyone, not even him,’ Jayden mumbled.
‘Jesus H. Christ, you’re worse than my mum. Are you going to be this overprotective when the baby grows up and starts dating?’
Jayden’s features immediately closed up.
‘Jayden…’
‘I need to speak with my mother,’ Jayden said, immediately getting to his feet. ‘I need to get her to pull more than a few strings if we are going to get Noel into that prison.’
Samuel wanted to push, but instead, all he said was, ‘Oh, alright then. Good luck.’
Jayden nodded and walked out of the room, and as Samuel sat alone, he began to notice the baby-sized bridge that was slowly beginning to form between them.
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