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A/N: Here’s a picture of Paul to brighten up your day.
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A stunned silence descended on the auditorium then like a wave breaking on shore, a loud roar of applause, greater than the previous ones shook the entire building. Loud wolf-whistles erupted from within the audience as Jayden broke away from Samuel, ending the kiss.
Samuel was frozen in shock. His eyes were wide as he stared at Jayden and before his mind could fully process what had just happened, Jayden turned and disappeared into the wings of the stage.
Samuel slowly raised a hand to his lips, still not recovered from the shock. He blinked, then shaking it off, he took off after Jayden. He passed by Miss Alberta who had collapsed in a swoon and was being held by Stacey. The other actors on stage stared after him as he run past, disbelief etched on their faces.
Jayden was nowhere to be found when he arrived backstage. He checked the dressing rooms but there was no sign of him there either. He was coming out of his dressing room when he noticed the trampled paper lying on the ground.
His brows furrowed curiously as he stooped to pick it up and as his eyes roved over it he recognised the elegant cursive hand. He unfurled the paper and taking a deep breath, he began to read.
Samuel,
By the time you’re reading this, you would have already gotten my present and would be preparing to go on stage. I didn’t want to go up there without being honest with you and with myself. Lately, I have begun to realise some things that I don’t really fully understand myself. What is clear however, is that I have feelings for you. Where those feelings came from is anyone’s guess really.
I understand that you are straight and are in a relationship so you don’t share those same feelings. I’m telling you this not because I want to come between you and Pearl. On the contrary, I quite hope that things work out between you two. I’ve seen how happy she makes you and as I’ve recently come to understand, the true measure of how much you care for someone is not how willing you are to do everything to be with them, it is how willing you are to do everything to make them happy even if it is not with you.
If there’s anyone in the world who deserves to be happy it’s you. You bring so much happiness and light into the world that it’s even enough to chase out my darkest demons.
I’m telling you all this because I can’t pretend it does not exist and keeping it to myself would just cause more harm than good. As a wise person once told me, the thing about emotions is that if they are not expressed properly, they would show up in much uglier ways.
This is not only a confession but also a goodbye because we can no longer be friends. I wouldn’t be able to bear the pain of being close with you but never having you. This hurts more than you can imagine and I hope you understand but we can no longer be friends.
Thank you, Samuel, for everything.
Samuel’s mind was in a whirl when he finished reading the letter. He turned and looked up just as Pearl rushed up the corridor towards him.
‘Are you alright? You left so suddenly I didn’t know what had happened.’ She stood in front of him and looked up into his eyes. ‘Please talk to me.’
Samuel glanced down at the paper in his hand. ‘I’m sorry but I… I need a moment to think.’
‘Okay, whatever you need. Can I get you something?’
But Samuel was already walking away. She turned to watch as he pulled open the door and disappeared into the night, leaving her standing alone in the long corridor.
Back in the auditorium, the audience chattered loudly to themselves as they began to disperse. They seemed to think that the kiss was just part of the act but a few people knew otherwise.
Noel still clasped Paul’s hand tightly as he continued to sit in shock. Leo opened and closed his mouth several times but no sound came out and Cam nodded to himself as he suddenly realized what he had been missing.
Paul was the only one who seemed unfazed as he got to his feet and directed the others to do the same. Together they walked out of the building and into the cool night air.
‘Whoa,’ Leo finally spoke. ‘What just happened?’
‘I have absolutely no idea,’ Noel mumbled.
‘Whatever it is, it is not our business to discuss it.’ Paul spoke out quietly. ‘Let’s leave them to figure it out on their own. All we can do is support them.’
The others nodded and they quietly made their way to their dormitories, the excitement of the night having taking a toll on all of them. They split up on the way, with Paul taking Noel to his dorm in the Scorpius building and Cam and Leo making their way to Draco.
Leo kicked the stones on the path as he trudged along with Cam who was deep in thought. He looked up worriedly and nudged his best friend with his shoulder.
‘You alright, Cam?’
Cam looked up and nodded. ‘Just thinking.’
‘Yeah, I get that. A lot has happened.’
Cam hummed in agreement, looking down as they kept walking. They soon entered Draco and crossed the lobby into the elevator, taking it up to their floor.
‘I wonder what Jayden must be going through.’ Leo commented to himself as they stepped out of the elevator.
Cam looked up. ‘Huh?’
‘It looks like he’s been keeping his feelings to himself for some time and that must suck like hell.’
‘It does,’ Cam whispered.
Leo glanced at Cam. ‘Right, I forgot that you know what it’s like to keep your feelings to yourself.’
Cam stopped. ‘What do you mean?’
Leo stopped also and turned to look gently at his friend. ‘Cameron, I am your best friend. We’ve known each other since we were children and you think I wouldn’t notice that you’ve fallen in love with someone.’
Cam felt his heart stop in his chest. ‘W… what?’
‘It’s alright, I’m just surprised that you didn’t tell me since we tell each other everything. So who is it?’
‘It’s… no one.’
‘Cam-‘
‘Just let it go Leo! I know nothing can ever happen between us so there’s no point talking about it.’
Cam opened the door to their dormitory and stormed off inside. Leo sighed and followed him, closing the door gently behind him.
Back at Scorpius, Paul opened the door to Noel’s dorm and stood aside as Noel entered. He stood behind the doorway as Noel turned to him with a grateful look.
‘Thank you for walking me back.’
Paul gave him a small smile. ‘It was my pleasure. Would you be alright on your own?’
Noel nodded. ‘Yeah, but I won’t be alone. Jayden would come back soon.’
‘I’m sure he will. You look tired, maybe you should get some rest.’
‘I’ll be fine. I want to wait up for him.’
Paul nodded. ‘Goodnight then.’
Noel smiled at him. ‘Goodnight.’
Paul waited until the door had fully closed before turning to make his way back to Draco. He was deep in thought as he crossed the lawn that connected the four house buildings, pausing at the centre to look up at the full moon, which seemed brighter than usual.
Samuel was sitting in front of their dormitory when he arrived. His head lay against the door as he stared up at the ceiling and he didn’t acknowledge Paul’s presence when he walked up to him.
Paul bent down and picked him up without a word, slinging his hand over his shoulder as he supported him. He opened the door and walked them both inside before kicking it shut with the heel of his foot.
He placed Samuel on a chair at the kitchen table and left him to rummage through the cabinets. He came back later with two steaming mugs of chocolate and placed one before Samuel who just stared at it with listless eyes.
He took a seat at the other end of the table and held the steaming mug between two hands as he sipped patiently from it.
After several minutes, Samuel looked up and stared at Paul. ‘I’m sure you have something to say so why don’t you just say it.’
‘Do I? I don’t think so.’
Samuel glanced down at the mug, which was slowly growing cold. ‘You are no doubt wondering then.’
‘I wonder about a lot of things.’
‘Like what?’
‘Well, for instance, I wonder how long you are going to sit there and watch that drink get cold before you drink it.’
Samuel shook his head and a small smile crossed his lips as he reached for the mug and brought it to his lips.
Paul watched as he drank, grinning as he put the mug back down. ‘That’s better now, isn’t it?’
Samuel nodded but his eyes soon went back to that listless look. ‘I don’t know what happened.’
‘Of course, you do. We all saw what happened.’
‘But why did he kiss me?’
‘I think you already know the answer to that.’
Samuel sighed and placing his hands on the table, he buried his head in them. ‘I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to do.’
‘Talk to him.’
‘It’s not that simple. I wouldn’t know what to say.’
Paul stared at him contemplatively for some time. ‘You keep mentioning the kiss but you avoid talking about one critical aspect.’
Samuel looked up. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You kissed him back.’
‘I…’
‘Why?’
‘I… I don’t know.’
Paul tapped his finger softly against his mug. ‘I see.’
‘That… that doesn’t make me gay, does it?’
‘Are you?’
‘No, I’m not but I… I kissed him back. What would people think of me?’
‘Does it matter?’
Samuel thought about it before answering. ‘No, it doesn’t.’
Paul studied him closely. ‘How did the kiss make you feel?’
Samuel said nothing but looked down and stared at his hands. Paul sighed and got to his feet.
‘You should get some rest. It’s been a long day.’
Samuel nodded but didn’t look up.
Paul paused as he was about to walk out of the kitchen. ‘Samuel.’
Samuel looked up.
‘Know that whatever happens, whatever you decide, it won’t change anything between us. I’m your best friend and I would continue to be your best friend no matter what.’
A small grateful smile appeared on Samuel’s lips. ‘Thank you.’
Paul nodded before turning to leave, leaving Samuel sitting alone at the kitchen table as his thoughts swirled through his head like the last remaining steam from the mug.
Two floors down, Leo walked up to Cam and sat down beside him on the floor. He placed his back against the sofa as he thought about what to say but Cam beat him to it.
‘I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier.’
Leo shrugged it off with a smile. ‘It’s not the first time you’ve snapped at me so don’t worry. I’ve grown used to it now.’
‘Well you can’t blame me, you always do stupid things.’
Leo grinned. ‘True. You would think I would learn.’
‘But you never do,’ Cam replied with a small smile.
‘You would get bored if I did.’
‘Maybe.’
Leo shuffled as he turned his body to face Cam. ‘You know you can tell me anything, right?’
‘I do, it’s just… complicated.’
Leo snorted. ‘When has anything ever been easy for us. Whoever she is, she would be very lucky to have you.’
Cam remained silent for a few minutes before whispering, ‘He’s not a she.’
It took a while for his words to register in Leo’s mind and when they did, his mouth formed into a wide o.
‘Erm… that is… wow… ok. This is definitely not awkward. Erm…’
Cam looked down at his feet. ‘You don’t have to say anything.’
‘No, no. I just… wait.’ Leo took a deep breath. ‘I’m going to try something I learnt in anger management class. It helps get your thoughts out and sort through your feelings.’
Cam glanced curiously at him as he took another deep breath.
‘Okay, let’s go. Right now, I’m feeling a lot of things. I’m feeling tired from the day, I’m feeling hungry because that pizza was definitely not large enough-‘
Cam gave him an incredulous look. ‘Really?’
‘No, no. Trust me it sounds stupid but it actually works. Where did I get to- right. I’m feeling sore because we still haven’t changed the carpet and it’s uncomfortable as fuck. I’m feeling proud that you had the courage to tell me something like this and I’m feeling sad because I somehow gave you the impression that you couldn’t tell me this before and I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to make you feel comfortable enough to tell me.’
Tears began to form in Cam’s eyes and he blinked them back. ‘Really?’
‘Of course. I care about you more than anyone else in the world and nothing is going to change that. Besides, girls are overrated anyway. I’m thinking of switching teams myself. Boys are so much simpler to understand and they don’t spend hours getting ready in the bathroom. Well, most boys don’t. Whoever this guy is, he would be damn lucky to have you as his boyfriend and I’m not just saying that. You are so damn smart that it scares me sometimes, you care so much for the people close to you and you have such a kind heart. You are an amazing person, Cameron Castello, and don’t you ever forget that.’
Cam stared at Leo as he continued to talk.
‘So who is this guy, is he someone I know? Wait, what kind of guys are you into? Please tell me it’s not-‘
He was cut off when Cam suddenly leaned in and captured his lips in a soft kiss. Leo’s eyes widened and he quickly pulled away. ‘Whoa, what are you doing?’
Cam’s eyes widened and his features grew panicked as he realized what he had just done. ‘I’m sorry I thought… I shouldn’t have… oh God I’ve messed everything up, haven’t I?’
‘Cam, calm down. Listen to me, breathe.’
Cam stood up. ‘I can’t… I… I have to go.’
There were tears on his face as he rushed into his room and locked the door shut behind him. Leo watched him leave as he sat there wondering what the fuck had just happened. Why did Cam kiss him?
It was past midnight when Jayden slipped into his dormitory. The dorm was dark with the only light coming from the desk lamp by the sofa where Noel lay curled up under a blanket with a book dangling from his fingers. He had been waiting up for Jayden but had ended up falling asleep instead.
Jayden stared at the sleeping boy for a moment before walking over and picking the book from his hand, closing it as he placed it on the table. He picked Noel up in his arms and gently carried him into his room.
Noel shifted slightly in his sleep as Jayden placed him gently down on the bed. He removed his glasses and folded them before placing them on the bedside table. He then pulled the blankets up over his sleeping friend and a ghost of a smile appeared on his lips when Noel snuggled deeper into them.
After making sure he was comfortable, he turned off the lights and closed the door softly behind him before making his way to his own room. He kicked off his shoes before settling into bed and as he stared up at the dark ceiling, his mind slowly replayed the events of the day until the soft hands of sleep closed in around him.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Sorry, I know it’s a short chapter but I promise to make it up to you.
So, Cam and Leo… Thoughts?
Don’t forget to vote and comment if you enjoyed the chapter.
Peace.
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