Array
(
[text] =>
Monday was a new day. It was the stereotypical routine; wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to school. But this time, it felt like there was some sort of presence in the house. Almost as though a ghost was shadowing us, reminding us all exactly why Jay was boarding with us. Reminding us about Linda, lying breathless in a firm white hospital bed with a steady drip attached to her arm. Reminding us it was all real.
And it was scary.
But I shook that thought away as Jay gently closed the door behind him and locked it with his very own house keys. My mum had decided that Jay would probably need his own pair in case he and I went out with other friends. Even though the only time we ever left the house was with each other…
“Um, you ready?” Jay questioned, his voice shaking slightly. Despite his best efforts, he was still visibly shaken after the visit on Sunday night. Due to the fact that he was always abnormally shy and uncomfortable around my parents, they hadn’t really noticed the subtle differences in his behaviour. But I did. Sure they were small differences, just a slight twitch when something reminded him of her, a jerk of the knees when they mentioned her name, but they were there all right. They were there.
I nodded, my lips a thin line like a pencil scratch. “Yeah.”
We walked in silence after that, my hand itching to reach out and take Jay’s in my own like we had on our first –and only– date. So far we’d only come out to Linda, and even then it was an awkward encounter. My knees still quaked when I even thought about coming out to the rest of the world. Including my parents. Especially my parents.
Throughout the journey, I felt a funny scratching feeling at the back of my throat. Just a scrabble at first, like an insect lightly clawing at a window, but it soon developed into an irritating scraping sensation. A cough bubbled up in my throat and I winced, not enjoying the more than mild pain it caused. Jay noticed and his forehead creased with worry.
“Are you ok Ash?” he asked, grabbing my hand to stop me walking any further. A faint blush tainted my cheeks, but it probably wasn’t distinguishable from the heated flush dominating my face. The bottom section of my face felt blocked up.
“Ugh,” I moaned, my voice sounded clogged up. “I think I’ve got a cold…”
But the thick snot strangled my words and they came out sounding more like, “A fink a’ve got cowld.”
Still frowning in concern Jay reached a hand up to my forehead, his cool palm a sharp contrast with my warm now sweating forehead.
“Well…” he said, talking slowly as though deliberating what was wrong. “I’m not a doctor, but I think your diagnosis is correct.”
I let out a muggy sort of chuckle. “Cheers for that Jay. Could never have figured that one out.”
“Well then, be glad I’m here to help,” he teased, winding the woolly red scarf around both of our necks. I felt incredibly self-conscious (and incredibly stupid) as we walked through the park, a picture of the perfect couple. Aside from the fact that we were both guys, that is. Jay walked beside me, fighting to keep the girlish blush off his face and failing miserably. We were a sight to behold; two teenage boys connected by the ridiculously bright scarf wound round our necks, one tall, tidy and grinning, the other scruffy, snivelling and coughing.
“If anyone sees us I’ll bloody kill you,” I warned, much to Jay’s amusement. But the threat was somewhat compromised by the fact I was unable to form an intelligible sentence because of that stupid, fucking cold.
“Ok,” Jay replied happily, still grinning obliviously.
“Idiot,” I mumbled, hiding my humiliated scowl under my shaggy somewhat fringe. Jay simply kept walking, smiling like a teenage girl and clutching my hand in his.
It was a nice feeling. We weren’t really worried about anybody spotting us; in fact it was the last thing on my mind. I was too preoccupied with trying to keep the grin on Jay’s face.
But the illusion had to shatter sometime. As we passed through the creaky metal gate of the empty, picturesque park reality slapped us in the face. Reluctantly, I released my grip on Jay’s hand and squirmed uncomfortably when his face fell.
“Ash?”
I was caught off guard by the sudden words. I stumbled slightly, sneezed a few times, and wiped my nose with the back of my hand.
“Yeah?” I sniffed.
“Are you sure you’re ok? I mean, um, you look like…”
He let his voice fade away as he tried to think of a word that wouldn’t offend me. He needn’t have worried – I was as thick skinned as I appeared.
“Like shit?” I suggested dryly. Jay blushed and nodded.
“Well… um… yeah.”
I snorted, then immediately regretted it once I tasted slimy evidence of my cold.
“Ugh…” I shuddered. “Having a cold sucks. I was fucking fine yesterday as well too! Must’ve picked something up at that bloody hospital…”
I bit my lip, immediately regretting voicing my thoughts. I really shouldn’t have brought up the less than cheery hospital visit yesterday. And I felt really guilty when I saw the flash of sadness in Jay’s wide, green eyes.
“Shit man, sorry,” I explained, rubbing my mouth. “Oh crap. My people skills suck balls…”
Jay let out a soft snicker and I smiled, happy to have an escape route. I kept up a steady stream of light sarcastic humour all the way to the school. The happy atmosphere was a welcome change.
By the time break rolled around I was ashen faced and shaking. Sweated dripped off me even though I’d been nowhere near the PE block, and I all but stumbled out of history with a distraught Lee hot on my heels.
“Jesus Ash, are you ok? You look like a fucking zombie!”
“Well, it’s an improvement,” Lewis added thoughtfully, absently chewing on a blue biro. My blue biro.
“Gee thanks,” I snapped, snatching the pen from his jaws. I shuddered, and wiped it down on his sleeve. “You guys sure know how to make a guy feel good. And that’s kind of gross, by the way…”
Lewis smirked for a second, until Lee whacked him painfully in the ribs. We’d become an odd group now, Lewis eventually giving up his status as king of the school in favour of hanging around with a bunch of misfits like me, Lee and Jay. And while I still hadn’t forgiven him for making my first year at high school a living fucking hell, I still viewed him with a grudging admiration.
We sat down at the usual round table we’d commandeered as our own, Lee and Lewis bickering like a married couple, me concentrating on not passing out. Jay sat down beside us, his arms piled with an alarmingly large stack of maps and atlases looking weary.
“So much homework,” he whispered, depositing the books onto the table with a grunt of relief. But his expression rapidly mutated into one of worry when he caught sight of my god awful state.
“Oh my God Ash,” he said, kneeling down beside me. “Are you ok?”
His hands brushed some matted hair from my eyes and I took a sharp intake of breath. It would have been really nice to kiss him right now…
I swatted his hand away. He looked momentarily hurt by my actions, so I left my fingers on his for a fraction of a second too long, indicating I wanted to grab him and kiss him silly. He picked up on the subtle hint and grinned.
From the corner of my eye, I could just about make out Lee eyeing us curiously. But I didn’t care.
“Um, we could go home if you want,” he suggested quietly, his voice so low only I could hear it. “You know… um…”
“Are you, Jay McCallion, model fucking student, suggesting that we dog it?” I asked, grinning widely. He blushed but nodded, avoiding my gaze.
“Um… maybe…”
“I’d love to,” I told him, coughing rather violently. “But we’ve got a chem test next period, so I’m gonna have to suck it up.”
“Oh ok.” Jay looked slightly disappointed, and his shoulders sagged forward. “But, um, yeah…”
I laughed at his eagerness to skip out. “You look like a kicked puppy. Something you wanted to skip out on?”
The teasing was somewhat ruined by the loud echoing sneeze the followed but Jay still had the decency to blush. I laughed and ruffled his hair, enjoying the rare height advantage him being on his knees gave me.
“Well guys, as much as that’s cute and all,” drawled Lee, “I’ve gotta get to my locker. So can you, like, shift your legs a bit Jay, because I really don’t want to have to crush you.”
Jay hopped to it and sat up in a rickety plastic chair right away. Can’t say I blame him really, we all knew how dangerous Lee could be when she wanted. And again I noticed Lewis sigh wistfully as she wandered over to her locker.
“Dude,” I scolded, waving my hand in front of his face to get his attention. It worked and he jumped, snapping out of his daydream.
“Uh… yeah?”
He genuinely looked confused. I rolled my eyes.
“Come on! Just fucking man up already and ask her out!”
His eyes widened as though he was appalled by the very idea.
“I- I mean, what- Um…” he tried numerous times to form a sentence, but failed miserably. I gave him a dunt in the forehead out of sheer frustration and he yelped.
“Ow!”
“Good,” I said. “Seriously, just ask her out already. Your lovesick teen act is pissing me off…”
I was a bit of a hypocrite for saying that, considering that way my stomach fluttered and my knees shook every time Jay was in the vicinity. But at least I had the decency to pretend it wasn’t happening. Lewis wasn’t even trying to conceal his feelings.
“I swear, I don’t like Lee like that,” he insisted, but I cut him off with a loud, gooey sneeze.
“Ugh…” I groaned. “This is really quite minging, you know that?”
When the bell rang for the next period, I wished I’d taken up Jay on his offer.
After school I was met by a (not so) pleasant surprise in the form of my mother. She stood at the gates, nervously eyeing the crowds of teens pouring from the main building and then waving in an embarrassingly dramatic way that only mothers can when she spotted us.
“Mum?” I croaked once we’d made our way over. She did a double take when she caught sight of my paper-white face. My condition had only worsened throughout the day and despite the fact I knew it was just a common cold, or the flu, I still felt fucking awful. I could barely breathe through my blocked up nose and it felt like I was suffocating every time I closed my mouth.
“Hi boys,” she whispered, ushering us inside her lemon yellow car. “Listen, the hospital called me at work this morning but I didn’t want to pull you two out of school again. It’s Linda… she’s taken a turn for the worse…”
Jay and I exchanged a troubled glance – we hadn’t got round to telling my mum and dad about our surprise visit on Sunday. Despite the obvious damp mood we’d both been in, my parents had tried their very best to ignore it.
Jay swallowed, his eyes shining. “Ok…”
And without a second thought, I grabbed Jay’s hand. I noticed my mum watching us strangely for a second, but she must’ve shrugged it off as a platonic gesture of comfort and friendship because next thing I knew we were speeding off to the hospital at a speed that was surely well over the limit.
The car skidded to a halt slightly skewwhiff in a parent and child parking spot. I didn’t bother to lecture my mum this time. All I wanted was to get to the ward and see Linda.
The three of us ran through the hospital our hands linked in a chain. My eyes watered as they were stung by the chemicals hanging in the air. I seemed to be the only one affected, but that was probably due to my aggravating malady.
We were stopped by a timid looking blonde nurse just before we entered the private ward.
“Um… Are you here to see Linda McCallion?” she enquired shyly, using her blue clipboard as a barrier between us. I fidgeted agitatedly.
“Yes,” my mum confirmed. “We’re well within visiting hours, so can we please get by?”
Although her words were pleasant, her tone carried an element of a warning and I saw the beginnings of panic on the nurse’s features.
“It’s just, um…” she consulted her clipboard, blushing. “Linda McCallion has been moved to a sterile ward on floor two. You’ll need to wear sterile suits and gloves if you want to visit her, and you’re not allowed in if you’ve been in contact with any sort of virus within the last two weeks…”
My jaw dropped. Shit.
“That’s fine,” my mum snapped, causing the poor nurse to flinch. “Now what’s the ward number?”
“Thirteen D,” the nurse told us, before scurrying away to attend to some other wailing patient now occupying Linda’s bed.
“Let’s go,” my mum commanded, and I felt dizzy. What if they didn’t let me in because I was sick? And they wouldn’t let Jay in either because he’d been in class with me pretty much all day…
All of a sudden I felt much worse.
Eventually we arrived at ward 13 D, only to be greeted by a broad, male nurse this time. Much more intimidating than the feeble girl upstairs.
“You here for Linda McCallion?” he questioned roughly, his beady eyes glaring at Jay and I’s interlocked fingers. Mum nodded.
“Yes.”
“Put these on.”
He shoved a pair of blue overalls at my mum but completely ignored me and Jay.
“Excuse me, but my son and Jay need a set too,” she said, frowning. The nurse stared.
“No ma’am,” he told her. “I’m sorry, but this is the Sterile Ward. We can’t allow these two in here.”
Mum puffed out her chest indignantly. “And why might that be?”
The nurse shrugged. “Look at the little one. He’s sick. He looks ready to keel over and the other one is holding his hand, so I assume he’s been on contact with the germ at some point. Sorry, but we can’t let ’em in.”
I was half relieved that he wasn’t homophobic, and half guilty that I was stopping Jay from seeing his mum.
“Shit,” I hissed and then sneezed as though to prove the nurse right. “Sorry…”
My mum glanced at us, the overalls, and us again. Jay cleared his throat awkwardly.
“Um, Mrs Jamieson… Can you please say hello to my mum for me?”
I almost cried there and then. My mum nodded slowly, still reluctant to go in without us.
“Are you sure boys?” she asked, her fingers tightening around the overalls she’d been handed. “Because I’ll be here for a couple of hours…”
“It’s fine,” I wheezed. “We’ll get the bus back.”
Jay nodded. This seemed to make my mum cave in and she sighed, before slipping the blue plastic overalls over her head.
“There’s some chips in the freezer,” she told us quietly, before slipping into the ward with the nurse, slamming the door behind them.
I sneezed. Not once. Not twice. You’d think three times was enough, and four times would be ridiculous. Five times is the absolute limit. But no. I had to have a sneeze attack and sneeze eight fucking times.
Jay looked at me somewhat cautiously.
“Um, you ok?”
I gave a loud sniff. “Aye. Let’s just go home.”
By the time we arrived back at my house I couldn’t face the idea of chips. I felt absolutely terrible, both because I was sick and because I was guilty as I collapsed face first onto the couch. Jay gave me a sympathetic smile.
“Ugh, don’t do that,” I moaned, rubbing my sweaty forehead. “I feel so bad. I’m really, really sorry Jay. I had to get sick at the worst fucking time…”
“Hey,” he whispered, sideling up beside me on the creaky couch. “Don’t feel guilty. My mum’s got highly trained doctors looking after her. I’ve gotta look after you.”
“Oh God,” I joked weakly. “I’m done for!”
Jay laughed and playfully ruffled my hair like I’d done to him earlier that day. “Fancy a cuppa?”
“I’d love one,” I replied, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. He smiled, kissed me on the forehead, before heading to the kitchen. Lazily, I turned on the telly to the movie channels, just absently flicking through until Jay came in proudly brandishing our rolled up duvet tucked under his left elbow and two cups of tea in his hands. He walked over and handed the biggest, frothiest cup to me and placed the other on the coffee table before unfurling the duvet over me like I was a little kid.
“I feel like I’m five all over again,” I laughed, taking a large gulp of the piping hot drink. It soothed my throat right away so I immediately took another while Jay slipping under the duvet beside me, entangling our legs together. We didn’t sit top and tail. He sat right next to me, pulling me half into his lap.
“I’m contagious,” I reminded him as he wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me securely in place. He gently nuzzled my hair.
“So?”
“I’ll infect you.”
“So?”
I laughed, and relaxed into his embrace, enjoying the warmth provided by the covers, his body and my blessed cup of tea.
“And I thought I was the stubborn one,” I teased, leaning into his shoulder and pulling the duvet tighter around me. He grinned.
“Want me to kiss you better?”
“I wouldn’t object,” I replied mildly. “But I’m still infectious.”
Jay sighed. “You’re no fun.”
I stuck my tongue out at him. “Just watch the movie.”
So we settled into the couch, snuggled up together under the blankets like a right cliché couple and watched The Matrix. Well, I attempted to watch it while Jay brushed his lips against my ear and played with the ends of my hair.
I wonder what the hell my mum and dad thought when they saw us cuddled together, asleep on the couch…
[text_hash] => 1436ea29
)