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*Yo guys! So, I’m editing it! Now, if you remember the book well, you will notice a pretty big difference, and there will still be a difference with the next 10 chapters or so, but I will work hard on editing them, it should only take a day or so since this only took me about an hour to edit. So, if I’m lazy, it might be a while for the rest of the chapters to be done since I still need to write a chapter for My Angel, but enjoy this for now. I’ve also updated the prologue as well so it’s not as… well… weird. Anyway, have a good one guys! Also, if the chapter has the triple asterisk, it’s been edited if you get lost on what chapters have been edited or not. Bye guys!*
Chapter 1:
Felix’s P.O.V
For me, it was an ordinary day. I woke up on my couch after almost pulling an all-nighter, listening to my parents fighting about Oscar, my little brother. I get it, he’s not like he used to be, please stop yelling about it. But to be honest, I didn’t worry about losing sleep. Sleep was a rare occurrence for me, well, comfortable sleep that is.
Besides, Oscar was my fault. A few years ago, Oscar had an accident. I shouldn’t have forced him to climb the tree with me, but I wanted to share the experience with Oscar. It was his first time, and I pushed him too hard— but I just wanted to show him something amazing!
There was a tree, around the corner from my house, which I used to climb all the time when I needed to think. But one day I was with Oscar, and I thought he would love the view, remembering he liked to draw landscapes, so I thought the view would be good for him to draw, but that when it happened. I was encouraging him to climb up to where I was so he could see what I saw, his foot slipped. I grabbed his wrist but it was too late, his wrist slipped through my hands and he fell.
The doctors said if he had fallen from any higher, he would have died. But I guess you could call him lucky, but he became paraplegic. This accident ruined my family. It was my entire fault— I felt so guilty; I turned to the ‘dark side’. I became a Goth and began looking at weird things like magic. But I knew it wasn’t real I just messed around with it in hopes of finding some way to fix Oscar, but that never happened. It was my fault, and I guess I just wanted to see if there was a way that I could possibly fix everything.
I sighed sitting up on my couch staring at myself in the mirror to my left. My dyed black hair was unruly, with my little red hair extension at the back of my head, my brown roots peeking through. My eyes were surrounded by smudged eyeliner from the day before. I sighed confused. Why did I feel so weird today? Did I eat something weird yesterday—? Oh, never mind.
I growled before standing up and walking over to my cupboard when all of my clothes are held when not spread all over the floor I rolled my eyes and pulled out a grey long-sleeved shirt and a black shirt with a white/grey bird on it. I pulled on my necklaces and bracelets, not bothering to change my jeans, which weren’t visibly dirty.
In the distance— aka the distance across my backyard to my house, since I live in the bungalow in the backyard, ever since Oscar’s accident, I just couldn’t live in the house anymore. So I moved my double bed which was rarely ever slept in since I mostly slept on the couch and I grabbed my cupboard and went out and brought a new clothing taste, and a whole bunch of creepy Halloween stuff, which is stupid considering Australia doesn’t celebrate Halloween.
I walked out of my room and into the yard where the yelling of my parents was louder. I sighed before lowering my eyes and walking in the back door to where the yelling was the loudest.
“KATHY! HE IS NOT SICK!” My Dad, Ken screamed at my mother. I instantly knew what they were fighting over— Oscar. I sighed as I listened to my mother retaliate,
“YES, HE IS! HE HAS A FEVER! WE NEED TO GET HIM TO THE DOCTORS!” My Dad sighed giving in,
“Fine,” I quickly walked into the kitchen grabbing a banana and a granola bar, before running out of the house before they could ask me to do anything. Once outside I saw my friend, Ellen, sitting on the side of the street out front of my house, waiting for me.
She was my only friend after Oscar’s accident. It was funny because, before the accident, we were both pretty normal. But after, she became a ‘Goth’ like me, but not a proper one. She just dressed in black and was a bitch when she was standing up for me. I smiled weakly at her,
“Hey.” Ellen kept her face void of emotion, as usual. She kept a stone face in order to keep up the Goth act. I found it quite funny, but I didn’t have the energy to laugh at it.
“Hi. What’s going on?” I frowned. Did she hear the yelling? Possibly, she only lived across the street.
“Oscar’s sick again.” Ellen sighed. I guess having a best friend you can trust everything too had its negatives— because well— she knew everything.
“Oh Felix, you know it wasn’t your fault.” She knew I blamed myself for the accident. Well, who else was I going to blame? I sighed and turned away, starting on the way to school.
“Come on Ellen, or we’ll be late.” She nodded, standing up from her seat in the gutter, and dusting herself off.
“So how are you?” I inquired. Ellen shrugged,
“Fine, I guess. I just feel like today’s going to be weird.” I frowned. I wonder if that’s what I am feeling? I honestly can’t trust emotions anymore, too annoying.
“Really? I think so too.” I muttered the last few words confused and quietly, causing Ellen to look at me quizzically,
“What?” I sighed before lightly speeding up. I need to drop these thoughts, they aren’t normal. Wait, what is normal? My brain suddenly sped up and I came across a quote I saw on the internet once.
‘Normal is a setting on a washing machine— no one wants to be a washing machine.’ I frowned, maybe I want to be a washing machine. I clicked my tongue, yeah right— me normal? Never.
“It’s nothing. How do you think things will go down once we get to school?” Ellen let out a dry laugh,
“Seriously?” I shrugged at her, curious about her answer. “Maybe Jake, Trent and Dylan won’t bully us today.” I let out a bitter laugh and scoffed. Those three were our resident bullies, and the main tormenter was Jake Riles, the captain of the football club. The class failure yet amazing sports player, but also the biggest bully in the school, his favourite subject— me.
“Yeah right, we may wish that might happen. Never will, jerks don’t change. Especially, Jake, he is just— too much of a jerk to be able to be nice. Have you ever, seen Jake be nice to anyone? Even Trent or Dylan, because I have never seen it,” Ellen thought about it for a moment, and when she realised that I was right, she sighed. Jake was ruthless, and he would do anything to get his way.
“I hate it when you’re right.” I smiled brightly at her. Well, tried too. I was really tired. How much sleep did I get last night? When I had last checked the time it was four in the morning, and now it was near eight thirty, so about four hours at least. Maybe I can make it through the day peacefully.
“You know you love it,” Ellen smiled back at me. Ellen was great, no matter what the circumstances, she always tried to match her mood to mine, but sometimes she had to be brutal and honest, mainly when I was being stupid.
“Yeah I guess—” she stopped talking for a moment, “— Come on we’re almost at school,” I sighed and wiped the smile from my face. Ellen did the same. As we approached the school, the feeling I had woken up with this morning returned. But it was worse, I suddenly felt like vomiting. Thank god there was nothing in my stomach. I gulped and looked to Ellen, her face indifferent. Out of fear, my head lifted to take a look around.
Over on the footy pitch were a few guys messing about with each other, and girls talking in groups around the pitch. I rolled my eyes at the cliché part of that and moved on surveying the rest of school. Everything else seemed normal, by that I meant Jake and his gang were heading in this direction. My eyes widened and I nudged Ellen,
“Jerks, dead ahead,” she nodded,
“Great— just what we need for the start of the day,” I quickly laughed bitterly, but I cut myself off when the three bullies were just a few metres away. And that’s it, they just walked past, laughing and talking to themselves. My eyes widened and I turned to Ellen, who acted like she didn’t even notice that, the three— biggest bullies in school— walked right past us, as if not knowing we were even there, which is hard to do, considering that Ellen and I were the only ones in school that ever wear all black.
“Ellen, did you notice that?” Ellen stopped and turned to me,
“What are you talking about?” I furrowed my brows, turning and pointing to Jake and his gang,
“Ellen, they just walked past us, without doing anything. Jake, Trent and Dylan just walked past without even as much as looking at us.” Ellen turned to look at Jake and his friends.
“Felix, they didn’t walk past us— did they?” I nodded at her. Confusion was flooding through me, I just pointed the three of them to her, did she zone out or something?
“They really did Ellen. How didn’t you notice?” Ellen’s eyes widened before looking away from me, her face slightly red. I furrowed my brows since when did Ellen act like this in public?
“I— I just wasn’t— I just— I just didn’t notice at all. Sorry— I got to go, see you later Felix.” With that, Ellen ran off. I frowned as I stared at where she was. I sighed and started off in the opposite direction, which was the direction Jake was going but was no longer there. I let out a breath of relief when I crashed into someone and fell over,
“Oh sorry Dude, I didn’t see you there.” I looked up to see Sam Conte, the school’s golden boy, standing in front of me, holding his hand out. I growled and shoved his hand away,
“I don’t need your help,” As I pulled myself up, annoyed I allowed myself to run into someone so annoying. I quickly dusted myself and stared at Sam, “Learn to watch where you’re going.” Sam gasped lightly and growled at me,
“Oi, it wasn’t just me Dude, you weren’t watching where you were going either,” I growled back at him and pushed his shoulder,
“Just because you’re so ‘popular’ doesn’t mean you can get away with everything!” Sam scoffed at me. Why was I acting like this? This wasn’t right. Normally I would glower and storm away in a stupid way, so why was I fighting him so hard right now?
“Come on Dude, we crashed into each other, why don’t you just suck it up?” I growled right back at him, completely pissed. Where was this energy coming from? Where was this anger coming from?!
“Because I have been having a very weird day today, and if you even think of asking me what is wrong, I will be very, very, very mad. And I swear to god you bet—” I was cut off by someone running over. Oh god, I hope it isn’t a teacher— or worse, Mr Bates. Although he is a teacher, he is by far the worst, always splitting Ellen and me up when we do group projects in science class, which sadly, is often.
I turned around to prepare myself, if it was a teacher, prepare to run. If it was a student, get ready to be pissed. I froze when I saw Jake— what the hell is he doing here? Damn it, after he ignored me I was hoping I wouldn’t have to put up with him today.
“What do you want?” I lowly growled the words and Jake scoffed, but refused to look at me, his eyes settling on Sam.
“I want to know what the hell is going on over here,” I rolled my eyes. He answered my question, but why isn’t he doing anything? Wouldn’t he normally be attacking me by now?
“It’s none of your concern Riles.” Jake froze at the sound of his last name. My eyes widened— shit did I just piss him off? Why was I acting so boldly?!
I quickly looked around him and saw no sign of Trent or Dylan. Thank god, maybe I can hold off Jake long enough to run away. If his friends were here, I wouldn’t stand a chance, and would most likely be going home wincing. Jake then thought it would be a good time to look at me, his sky blue eyes taking me in. My eyes widened and I took a step back. This caused Jake’s eyes to lash up and meet mine. I froze completely, not being able to move. Jake didn’t move either, not even when he spoke to Sam, who was still present.
“Sam, I think it’s time for you to go.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sam nod,
“Yeah, me too— Later Dudes,” I resisted the urge to scoff, but it didn’t matter, I still couldn’t move. In the blink of an eye, Jake was suddenly advancing towards me. I freaked and started walking backwards, not taking my eye off my attacker. Eventually, my back hit the wall and I winced— I didn’t know I was moving so fast.
I looked to either side of me panicking, not really wanting to be beaten up today. I sighed giving up, and closing my eyes, waiting for the blow. When it didn’t happen, I slowly opened my eyes to see Jake right in front of me— like centimetres away. I gasped and began to talk when Jake’s hand covered my mouth,
“Make a noise and they will find us okay?” I nodded as Jake whispered to me.
“I’m going to take my hand away now okay?” I nodded again and waited as Jake’s hand moved away, part of me not wanting it to go anywhere.
“What do you want?” Jake sighed before moving even closer. I yelped, but it was covered up as Jake placed his hand over my mouth again. I sighed rolling my eyes, then looking into Jake’s eyes, as he looked into mine. Jake sighed,
“Why do I bully you?” My eyes widened at the question. This sudden side of Jake was not something I wanted to see. It was something I wanted to get far away from as quickly as possible. I feel like if he talks to me while he is in this state, he will hate me even more and my beatings will get even worse.
I squirmed as much as possible to try and get away, but Jake was too close, by that I mean almost all of him was touching almost all of me. Neither of us could move without feeling awkward. Jake finally moved his hand away from my mouth again. It then moved to hold my wrist. I felt something bubbling inside of me. I answered his question to distract myself from the feeling,
“You bully me because I’m a ‘Freak’.” Jake sighed,
“But you’re not a freak. I’m a freak, or— I think I am, I don’t like labels.” I scoffed, he doesn’t like labels— is he crazy right now?!
“Yeah right— you don’t like labels when you’re the one that gave me that name.” I couldn’t say what I wanted to say, which I think I might say in a moment.
“But I am a freak— I mean, you of all people— how?” I was really confused, but I really didn’t want to know where this was heading. Why was Jake speaking the way he was speaking? It didn’t make any sense whatsoever.
“Jake— please just get off of me.” Fear was flooding through my veins and I wanted to get away from him as quickly as I could. I froze when Jake gained my eye contact,
“What did you say?” I couldn’t say it again— I just can’t say it? I feel like if I say it, I will disappoint him. Why was I so worried right now?! I’m scared! I wanted to cry, but I was too scared to, I didn’t want him to see. Why did I feel like a child around him?
“Did you say please, Felix?” I felt the feeling again when he called me by my name. I nodded, unable to form words. Jake frowned but moved closer to me. So much his legs were lined with mine, and his chest was touching mine. Jake was just a few centimetres taller than me, so our height was relatively the same— or close to— I guess. Jake’s nose touched mine and I gasped. Why was he so close to me?!
“What are you doing Jake? Get off me,” I almost screamed as I tried too hard to push him away, but he already had a hold of one wrist, and it was too easy for him to grab the other.
“I don’t know why I’m doing this Felix. Just don’t go,” I winced as Jake’s face moved from in front of my face, to in my neck. I froze again and stiffened.
“Jake, I— you hate me— you bully me— you can’t be doing this. I have to be dreaming, or you’re just playing a joke on me— just please let go of me.” Jake gasped, before nodding.
“Just one thing,” I sighed, sick of what he was doing. These emotions battling inside of me were beginning to hurt my chest.
“What is it, Jake?” Jake froze before moving slightly and biting down on my neck, I cried out at the spectacular feeling. I froze again, before squirming. Jake finally let go of my wrists, and I used my hands to push Jake away. One hand lashed up to my neck, I quickly pulled away to check for blood. There was none thank god.
“What the hell was that for? You don’t just go around biting people,” I was freaking out. I saw Jake wasn’t looking at me so I took the chance to run. I ran as quickly as I could, my bag on my shoulder, banging against my knees, which felt like they were ready to give out. But I couldn’t stop; I needed to get as much distance as I can between me and Jake— why does it keep on sounding so nice when I say his name? And why the hell did he bite me?
I sighed, before rounding a corner and collapsing against the wall. I slid down to the ground as people began to walk around me. Quite frankly I couldn’t give a damn about anyone else right now. I quickly pulled out my phone and looked at the time, there’s still ten minutes before the bell— how is that possible? I sighed before standing up again. I threw my head back, before surveying the passageway. I kept an eye out for Ellen, but I couldn’t find her at all. But I did see Jake— I gasped before disappearing into the crowd before he saw me.
I was lucky and he didn’t see me, I smiled but then frowned at the feeling of sadness in my stomach. Did I feel bad for running away from Jake? But why— I mean, he was kind of cute— wait, what the hell? I did not just think that— nope, I did. I curled into myself a little before staring at the wrists that were being held by Jake Riles just a few minutes ago, wrists that were— I scoffed before looking away and standing up again as if he could ever like me. As if I could ever like him— right?
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