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Luke was sat in the chair beside Gabe’s bed again. The room was quiet in that soft, late-afternoon hospital way. The machines were humming gently, the curtains were half-drawn, and the light outside was fading to gold. Gabe was asleep again, mouth slightly open, lashes resting against tired, bruised skin. He looked smaller like this. Younger. Not the version of his brother Luke had been so angry with, or so afraid of, or so desperately trying to save in his head. He was just Gabe. The same Gabe that used to hug him after lacrosse games. The same Gabe that had sat in the bathroom with him to dye their hair ridiculous colours when Luke was feeling down. The same Gabe who loved Luke despite everything.
Luke watched his chest rise and fall and felt something loosen inside him every single time.
Alive.
Gabe was alive.
The word repeated in his mind like a prayer. Alive alive alive. He pressed his thumb into the seam of his jeans, eyes stinging. He hadn’t realised how tightly he’d been holding himself together until now, until the danger had passed enough for the fear to ebb.
He was so, so grateful.
For the tubes being gone. For the colour slowly returning to Gabe’s face. For the fact that he could sit here and be annoyed by the beeping monitor if it wanted to, because annoyance actually meant normality now. Because normal meant future.
Gabe shifted in the bed.
Luke straightened instantly, leaning forward. “Hey,” he whispered, barely breathing. “You awake?”
Gabe’s eyelids fluttered open, unfocused at first. He blinked a few times, then frowned slightly as his gaze settled on Luke. His voice, when it came, was soft and hoarse, like it had to travel a long way to reach his mouth. “You’re still here.”
Luke smiled. “Told you I would be.”
Gabe swallowed, wincing a little. “Throat feels like I swallowed sand.”
“Yeah,” Luke said gently. “They said that’d happen. You’ve been through a lot.”
Gabe huffed a weak breath that might’ve been a laugh. “Understatement.”
They sat in quiet for a moment, just looking at each other. It felt strange and familiar all at once, like slipping back into an old rhythm with new scars between the beats.
“How long was I out?” Gabe asked.
“A couple of hours,” Luke said.
Gabe nodded slowly, eyes drifting to the ceiling. “I don’t remember much from before. Just… noise. And then nothing.”
Luke hesitated, then said softly, “You scared us. Mom barely slept. Dad kept pretending he was fine and then breaking down in the car park. Maddy’s been in and out. And me…” His voice wobbled despite his efforts. “I was terrified.”
Gabe’s eyes flicked back to him. “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” Luke said quickly. “I know you are.”
Silence stretched again, heavier this time. Gabe’s fingers twitched against the sheets.
“I didn’t want to die,” Gabe admitted quietly. “I just… didn’t want to feel like that anymore.”
Luke’s chest ached. He reached out without thinking, resting his hand over Gabe’s. “You don’t have to explain it to me. I just need you to stay.”
Gabe’s eyes filled. “I thought you hated me.”
Luke shook his head, tears spilling freely now. “I was hurt. And angry. And scared. But I never hated you. You’re my brother. That doesn’t just stop.”
Gabe squeezed his hand weakly. “I messed up. I said things I shouldn’t have. I’ve been such a shit.”
Luke laughed through his tears. “Yeah,” he sniffed. “You have. But so have I. We both fucked up.”
Gabe smiled faintly, then it crumbled. His face twisted, emotion finally spilling over. “I didn’t think I’d get another chance to say I love you.”
Luke stood abruptly and leaned over the bed, resting his forehead against Gabe’s shoulder, careful of all the wires. “You don’t get to leave without saying that again,” he murmured. “Ever.”
“I love you,” Gabe whispered, voice breaking.
“I love you too,” Luke said back immediately. He pulled away just enough to look at him, eyes red, heart full and aching and grateful all at once. “And you’re not allowed to scare any of us like that again. If you need help, you ask. We’ll be there. I swear to you. I would drop everything just to be there for you, Gabe. You know that. So please…next time you feel down, just talk to us.”
Gabe let out a quiet, shaky sigh. “Okay. I will.”
“You promise?”
“I promise,” Gabe whispered.
They stayed like that for a few moments, their hands clasped together and their emotions raw and open. Both of them were crying, but they were both alive too. That’s what mattered. Both of them were still here. Together.
Luke eventually scrubbed at his face with the heel of his hand, trying to pull himself together. He sniffed once or twice, then finally sat back down properly in the chair.
Gabe watched him for a moment, eyes softer than they’d been in a long time. “Where’s…Young?” Gabe asked quietly.
Luke blinked. “Uh. He’s downstairs. In the café. He didn’t want to crowd you.”
Gabe nodded slowly, then winced like even that took effort. “Can you… can you get him for me?”
Luke’s eyebrows drew together in surprise. “You want to see him?”
“Yeah,” Gabe said, voice raspy. “I do.”
Luke hesitated, heart thumping. There was a thousand questions sitting on the tip of his tongue, like is this a good idea, are you sure, do you still want me here… but he swallowed them all. “Okay,” he said softly. “I’ll call him.”
Gabe nodded.
Luke pulled his phone out with slightly shaky hands and stepped a few feet away from the bed, keeping his voice low. “Hey,” he murmured as soon as Young picked up. “Um. Gabe’s awake. He’s uh… he’s asking for you.”
Silence. Then, carefully, “He is?”
“Yeah,” Luke said. “Can you come up?”
“I’m on my way,” Youngjae said immediately.
Luke ended the call and turned back to Gabe, who was watching him closely. “He’s coming,” Luke said.
Gabe exhaled, eyes fluttering shut for a second. “Good.”
Luke sat back down, fingers still curled around his phone. “You don’t have to talk if you’re not up for it,” he added gently. “You can kick him out whenever you want.”
Gabe gave a weak, humourless huff. “I don’t think I get to kick anyone out right now.”
A beat passed.
“I owe him,” Gabe said quietly.
Luke swallowed. “You don’t owe anyone anything except getting better.”
Gabe opened his eyes again, looking straight at Luke. “Still. I hurt him. I hurt you both.”
Luke didn’t argue this time. He just squeezed Gabe’s hand again. “One thing at a time, yeah?”
A few minutes later, there was a soft knock on the door. Luke’s chest tightened as Youngjae stepped inside. He looked exhausted but the moment his gaze landed on Gabe, he stopped short. They stared at each other for a long second.
“Hey,” Young said finally, voice cautious but kind.
Gabe swallowed. “Hey.”
Luke shifted slightly in his chair, heart pounding.
Gabe cleared his throat, the sound rough and fragile. It took him a moment to find the words, like they were buried somewhere deep and sore. “I… miss you,” he said finally, eyes fixed on Youngjae. “I miss you a lot.”
Young didn’t speak. He just took a small step closer to the bed, hands loosely clasped in front of him, like he was afraid of doing the wrong thing.
“I miss talking to you,” Gabe went on, voice barely above a whisper. “Just… sitting around and talking shit. Laughing. Lacrosse. Everything.” His mouth twitched sadly. “I didn’t realise how quiet my life would be without you.”
Luke felt his chest tighten. He stayed still, fingers laced together in his lap, letting Gabe have the space.
Gabe swallowed hard. “I’m sorry,” he said. “For being such a fucking awful person. For not taking the news well. For the things I said. For how I acted.”
Young shook his head instinctively. “No. It’s okay, you don’t—”
“No,” Gabe interrupted gently, a rare firmness in his weak voice. “I need to say this. You deserve to hear it.”
Young fell quiet again.
“I was angry,” Gabe admitted. “So angry I didn’t even recognise myself. I kept telling myself it was about Luke. About you two being together. About it being weird or wrong or whatever bullshit excuse I clung to.” He laughed weakly, then winced. “But that wasn’t really it.”
Luke held his breath.
“I’d never had a friend like you before, Youngjae,” Gabe said, eyes shining with tears. “You were… different. You listened to me. You got me. You knew all my secrets. All the stuff I didn’t tell anyone else. You were kind and you never made me feel stupid or dramatic or too much.”
Young’s eyes brimmed over, but he didn’t look away.
“And then suddenly,” Gabe continued, voice breaking, “I realised I had to share you. That the person I told everything to, the person who felt like mine, wasn’t just mine anymore. I mean, I shouldn’t have been all too surprised that my little brother fell for you. Hell, if I was gay, I would have fallen for you too. I mean, you’re hot. You’re kind. You’re gentle. You’re basically the perfect fucking guy.”
Young and Luke let out breathy laughs, still half crying and emotional.
Gabe let out a small shaky breath. “Instead of dealing with your relationship like an adult, I spiralled out of control and ruined everything.”
Silence filled the room, thick and heavy.
“I was selfish,” Gabe said quietly. “A selfish, jealous idiot, and then I took it out on the two people who mattered most to me.”
Luke felt tears slide down his cheeks, but he didn’t wipe them away.
Young stepped closer to the bed now, slowly, carefully. “Gabe,” he said softly. “You were my best friend too.”
Gabe’s breath hitched. “I know. That’s what makes it worse.”
“You didn’t lose me,” Young said, voice trembling. “You just… pushed me away. But I can come back. I’ll always come back. I mean, if that’s what you want.”
Gabe nodded faintly. “I do want.”
Luke finally spoke, his voice quiet but steady. “We’re sorry too. Our relationship was never meant to hurt you. And we tried. We really did try to stay away from each other.”
Young nodded earnestly.
Gabe looked at him then, really looked at him, eyes full of regret. “Okay,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry. Both of you. I’m sorry to both of you.”
Luke took Gabe’s hand again. “We’re here,” Luke said, squeezing gently. “Both of us. You don’t have to do this alone anymore.”
Gabe squeezed back, weak but deliberate. Tears slipped down the sides of his face as he closed his eyes.
Young reached out, resting a careful hand on the edge of the bed. “I don’t hate you,” he said quietly. “I never did. I love you.”
Gabe let out a broken sound somewhere between a sob and a breath. “I don’t deserve you.”
Young shook his head. “That’s not how this works.”
“I love you too,” Gabe whispered. And for the first time since waking up, his shoulders relaxed just a fraction.
And Luke, standing in the same room as the two people he loved most in the world, felt something shift in the air. It wasn’t completely healed. It wasn’t all fixed. But the tension had cracked open just enough for light to get in and Luke knew with absolute certainty that they could find their way back to what they once were.
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