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By Thursday, Luke was already counting down the minutes until the weekend. Gym was last period, which made everything worse. He hated sports. Like, no. Seriously. He actually hated gym class. It was just… hell.
Ever since he came out as trans, being in the boys’ locker room felt like walking into a trap. He didn’t use the showers. Didn’t even change properly. He wore his gym shorts under his sweatpants and layered his T-shirt over the one he already had on, so all he had to do was peel the top layer off and hope no one noticed.
But they always noticed.
The locker room went quiet when he walked in, like someone had pressed mute. The guys didn’t say anything to his face, but they didn’t need to. He could feel their stares crawling up his back like static. Some of them looked away quick, pretending they weren’t staring. Others didn’t bother hiding it.
Luke grabbed his bag and went to the farthest bench, his heartbeat thudding in his throat. He changed as fast as he could, eyes glued to the floor. He didn’t even have to look up to hear the whispers, they were like background noise now.
“Why’s she—”
“Dude, shut up.”
“I’m just saying, it’s weird, man.”
Luke shoved his clothes in his locker and slammed it shut.
By the time they were outside in the gym, his jaw hurt from how hard he was clenching it. Coach Myers blew the whistle, his voice booming through the echoey hall. “Alright, boys and girls! We’re doing dodgeball today. Pair up!”
Luke groaned. Of course.
He tried to fade into the background, walking toward the edge of the court, when he saw Eli standing near the bleachers, spinning a ball in his hands. Eli noticed Luke lingering awkwardly and nodded toward him.
“You wanna team up?”
Luke blinked. “Uh, sure.”
It was the first time anyone had actually asked him that in months.
They started warming up together, tossing the ball back and forth. Eli didn’t ask questions or stare too long. He just talked about the game. Like who was going to go down first or which team sucked. He talked like it was nothing. Luke couldn’t decide if he was grateful or suspicious.
At one point, Luke asked quietly, “Do you ever think this whole thing’s kinda stupid?”
“What, dodgeball?” Eli grinned. “Always. It’s basically legal violence for teenage boys.”
Luke cracked a small smile before he could stop himself. “Exactly.”
Coach blew the whistle again, and everyone scrambled to their sides. Luke and Eli took the left side, ducking behind a line of cones. It was chaotic—balls flying everywhere, guys yelling and shoving each other. Luke managed to dodge a few, even caught one that came flying his way, which got a low cheer from Eli.
“Nice reflexes,” Eli said, grinning.
“Yeah, well, years of avoiding people pays off,” Luke muttered.
Eli snorted. “Mood.”
By the end of class, Luke was sweaty, exhausted, and weirdly… lighter. For once, no one had said anything directly to him. Eli had kept the conversation easy, never once slipping up or making him feel like a freak.
After everyone started heading back to the locker room, Luke lingered near the bleachers. He took a breath, then walked up to Coach Myers, who was scribbling something on his clipboard.
“Uh, Coach?” Luke said quietly.
Myers looked up. “Yes, Davies?”
“I was just wondering if maybe… there was any way I could use a different changing room or something. Like, a gender neutral bathroom or—”
Coach snorted before he could even finish. “Kid, this isn’t some fancy private school. We’ve got two locker rooms. Boys and girls. Pick one and get on with it.”
Luke blinked, his throat going dry. “But I just—”
“I’m serious,” Coach continued, “I don’t have time for this.”
“But—”
“Luke,” Coach said sternly. “That’s your name now, isn’t it?”
Luke clenched his jaw. “Yes,” he gritted out.
“Then that means you use the boys locker room. What? Is it not up to your standards?”
“No, it’s not that. I just—”
“But nothing,” Coach said sternly. “It’s the girls locker room, or the boys locker room. Your choice.”
“Right,” Luke gave in, voice flat. “Got it.”
He turned away fast, biting the inside of his cheek so hard he tasted blood.
When he got back to his locker, Eli was waiting nearby, fiddling with his phone. “You good?” he asked.
Luke shrugged, avoiding his eyes. “Yeah. Just tired.”
Eli nodded slowly. “You played pretty good today.”
Luke almost laughed. “You mean I didn’t completely suck?”
“Yeah,” Eli said, smiling. “That’s exactly what I meant.”
Luke smiled a little. By the time they’d finished changing, most of the other guys had already cleared out, leaving the locker room smelling like sweat and cheap body spray. Luke swung his backpack over one shoulder, ready to make a break for the door when Eli caught up to him.
“Hey,” Eli said, stuffing his gym shoes into his bag. “You going to the lacrosse game tomorrow night?”
Luke groaned softly. “Yeah. Unfortunately.”
Eli raised an eyebrow. “Unfortunately?”
“My brother’s the captain,” Luke said flatly. “My parents basically treat every game like it’s the Super Bowl. So yeah, I’ll be there whether I like it or not.”
Eli laughed. “Ah, that explains it. You’re Gabe Davies little brother, right?”
Luke tried not to smile at the way Eli said the word brother so effortlessly. “Unfortunately,” he said again, making Eli laugh harder.
“Well,” Eli said, adjusting the strap on his bag, “I was thinking about going. It’s kinda fun watching everyone act like it’s life or death. Maybe I’ll see you there?”
Luke hesitated. “You wanna… sit together or something?”
“Sure,” Eli said easily. “Save me a seat?”
“Yeah. Cool.”
They walked out together, and for the first time all week, Luke didn’t feel like he was just drifting through school invisible. It wasn’t anything huge, just a plan to sit next to someone at a stupid game, but it was something. And that was more than he’d had in a while.
By the time they reached the front gates, Luke found himself smiling without meaning to. He said bye to Eli and started heading toward the parking lot only to stop when he spotted Gabe leaning against his car again. And of course, standing next to him was Young. Luke could still hear the dumb drunk words his brothers best friend had mumbled that night. He still wanted to kick Young in the balls for that.
Luke swallowed hard, already bracing himself for the usual teasing. But Gabe just called out, “Hey, Squirt! You walking again?”
Luke hesitated. “Uh… no. Not today.”
Gabe looked mildly surprised. “So that’s a yes?”
“Yeah,” Luke said, walking over and tugging open the back door before he could change his mind. “I’ll take the ride.”
Young turned to him. “Wow, progress.”
Luke ignored him and climbed into the backseat, slumping against the window. Gabe hopped in and started the car, music low, the hum of the engine filling the silence.
For a few minutes, no one said much. Then, like clockwork, the conversation between Gabe and Young started. It was the same one they always had.
“Dude, you saw Mia in chem today?” Gabe said. “She’s unreal.”
“Oh, totally,” Young said. “She’s been hanging around the team lately. I think she’s into Carter though.”
“She’s into someone,” Gabe said. “Definitely not you.”
“Shut up.”
“You’re just mad,” Gabe teased.
Young sighed. “I don’t need Mia’s attention. And anyway, I told you. I’m not dating right now.”
“Oh yeah. Your mom and her weird rules.”
“Tell me about it,” Young grumbled. “I mean, I can date and still get good grades. But nooo. She doesn’t believe in multitasking.”
“Maybe she’s right. You do kinda go crazy once you like someone. You become obsessed.”
“I do not,” Young scoffed.
Gabe just threw him a look.
Luke stared out the window, trying not to listen but hearing every word anyway. The way they talked to each other, all easy, confident and untouchable? Fuck, it made something twist inside him. It wasn’t jealousy, exactly. Just that sharp reminder that he wasn’t part of their world. Or anyones world for that matter. He barely had any friends left. He certainly didn’t have anyone to talk to about people he found hot.
He pressed his forehead against the glass, watching the town blur past. The music, the laughter, the stupid inside jokes—they all blended together until his chest ached with how loud it all felt.
Gabe’s car pulled into the driveway a few minutes later, and Luke exhaled slowly. At least tomorrow, he thought, he’d have Eli. Maybe things were finally starting to shift.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The bleachers were already packed when Luke got there. Friday night games always drew a crowd of parents, students, teachers and random kids from other schools who had nothing better to do. The field lights cut through the dark sky, bright and blinding, and the air smelled like damp grass, popcorn, and the faint smoke of someone’s vape pen nearby.
Luke shoved his hands into the pocket of his hoodie, keeping his head down as he scanned the stands. His parents were sitting in their usual spot near the middle, waving excitedly when they spotted him. He waved back half-heartedly. They waved him over, and he was about to go and join them when he turned around and saw Eli jogging up the steps. The boys hair was messy and he was wearing a denim jacket over his hoodie. He looked out of place in a sea of letterman jackets and red face paint. Luke threw his parents an apologetic look and then quickly sat down on the bleachers towards the front.
“Hey,” Luke said, shifting to make room.
Eli plopped down beside him, slightly out of breath. “Hey. Sorry I’m late. Man, this place is chaos. Half the school’s here.”
“Yeah,” Luke muttered. “Because everyone loves watching people hit each other with sticks.”
Eli grinned. “Don’t lie. You love it too.”
“Not really,” Luke said. “I only come because my parents act like Gabe’s the second coming of Christ.”
“Gabe the Golden boy. I hear that everywhere.”
Luke sighed at that.
The referee’s whistle blew, and the crowd erupted into cheers. Gabe’s name echoed across the field from the announcer’s booth, followed by a deafening wave of clapping. Luke’s parents jumped up, cheering like maniacs.
“Jesus,” Luke mumbled.
“What?
“Those are my parents.”
Eli leaned closer. “They’re proud, huh?”
“Always,” Luke said. “It’s like he’s never done anything wrong in his life.”
Eli glanced at him, but didn’t say anything. Just nodded, watching the game with that calm, easy focus of his. The crowd roared as the first goal was scored, and Luke flinched at the noise.
For a while, they just sat there in comfortable silence. Eli occasionally muttered a sarcastic comment — “That guy’s running like he’s being chased by bees” — and Luke found himself laughing more than he expected to.
It felt weirdly good.
Halfway through the second quarter, Luke realised he wasn’t counting down the minutes anymore. He wasn’t thinking about who might be staring at him or what people whispered. He was just sitting there, watching a game he didn’t care about, next to someone who didn’t make him feel like a mistake.
When Gabe scored, the whole field went wild. His parents leapt up again, shouting his name, and Luke clapped politely, because that’s what he was supposed to do. But he didn’t look at Gabe. He looked at Eli who grinned, shaking his head at how dramatic everyone was. “Your brother’s good,” he said.
“Yeah,” Luke muttered. “Don’t I know it.”
The game dragged on for another half hour, the crowd never losing energy. By the time it ended, Gabe’s team had won by a landslide. Luke could already picture the afterparty. All that noise, the beer, the laughter.
Eli stretched his arms behind his head. “Guess your brother’s a hero again.”
“Guess so.”
“Hey,” Eli said, nudging him lightly. “Same time next week?”
Luke blinked, caught off guard. “You wanna come again?”
“Sure,” Eli said easily. “You make good company and it beats being at home every Friday.”
Luke’s face warmed. He tried to play it cool. “Well, the games aren’t every week. But yeah. Okay. We can come to the next one, whenever that is.”
Before he could say anything else, he heard his mom’s unmistakable voice shouting over the noise of the crowd. “Luke! Sweetheart!”
He turned just in time to see both his parents barreling down the bleacher steps, grinning from ear to ear. His mom’s scarf was half falling off her shoulders.
“There you are!” his mom said breathlessly, her eyes darting to Eli. “And who’s this?”
Luke froze. “Uh, this is Eli. He’s in my art class.”
Eli smiled politely. “Hi, Mrs. Davies. Nice to meet you.”
“Oh! You have such nice manners,” she said, clasping her hands. “Are you two friends?”
Luke mumbled, “Kind of,” at the same time Eli said, “Yeah.”
His dad laughed. “Finally, Luke! Someone your own age to hang out with who’s not glued to their phone!”
“Dad,” Luke muttered, mortified.
“Hey!” The new voice came from below, and all three of them turned. Gabe was climbing the bleacher steps, helmet under his arm, sweat still glistening on his neck, and that post-victory grin plastered across his face. Luke could practically feel the shift—the way his parents’ attention snapped right to him like magnets.
“Gabe! That was incredible!” his mom gushed for the fifth time that night.
“Proud of you, son!” his dad added again, giving him a pat on the back.
Gabe’s grin softened when he looked at Luke. “Didn’t think you’d actually come.”
Luke shrugged. “I always come.”
Gabe’s gaze flicked to Eli then, curious. “And who’s this?”
Luke sighed. “This is Eli. My friend.”
Eli gave a small wave. “Hey, man. Great game.”
“Thanks,” Gabe said, smiling, but Luke could already tell what was happening—that subtle, older-brother shift into protective mode. The narrowed eyes. The faint smirk that wasn’t quite friendly. “So,” Gabe said, resting the helmet against his hip, “you two doing anything tonight?”
Luke frowned. “No?”
“There’s a team party. You should come. Both of you.”
“Pass,” Luke said immediately. “Not really my scene.”
“Aw, come on,” Gabe said, elbowing him lightly. “Don’t be boring. It’s a Friday night. You might actually have fun for once.”
“Yeah, hard pass.”
But then Eli (the traitor) grinned and said, “Actually, sounds kinda fun.”
Luke’s head snapped toward him. “What?”
Eli shrugged. “Why not? It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do.”
Gabe laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. “That’s the spirit. See, Luke? Your friend gets it.”
Luke groaned. “You don’t even know where it is.”
“Then I’ll follow you,” Eli said, still smiling.
Luke narrowed his eyes. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“Maybe a little,” Eli admitted.
“Fine,” Luke muttered. “Whatever. I’ll go.”
“Good!” Gabe said, grinning wide. “Starts at nine. Don’t be late.”
As he jogged back toward the field, Luke watched him go, already regretting every decision that led to this moment.
His mom was beaming. “Oh, how nice! You’re going out with friends!”
“Yeah,” Luke said, deadpan. “Nice.”
Eli snorted beside him. “You sound thrilled.”
“I’m not,” Luke said flatly.
But deep down, under the dread and the embarrassment, there was something else too. Something small and stupid.
A flicker of excitement.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 ⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 ⋆.˚ 𓇼
The bass hit before they even reached the door. Luke could feel it vibrating through the ground, heavy and relentless, shaking up through his sneakers and into his chest. He hated parties. He didn’t know why he’d agreed to this. Oh, right, because his new friend Eli had smiled at him and said why not? and suddenly Luke had forgotten how to say no.
Gabe’s teammate Carter lived a few blocks away, in one of those oversized houses with a backyard big enough for a bonfire and a driveway already full of cars. Red plastic cups littered the lawn. Someone was yelling lyrics to a song Luke didn’t recognise.
“This is insane,” Eli said, glancing around with wide eyes. “Does this happen every weekend?”
“Pretty much,” Luke muttered. “You get used to it. Or you just stay home and pretend it’s not happening.”
Eli grinned. “Guess we’re not staying home tonight.”
“It’s kinda weird that we’re here.”
“Why?”
“We’re sophomores,” Luke explained. “We barely get invited anywhere. The only reason we did is because Gabe invited us.”
“Guess that makes us kinda cool, huh?”
Luke grimaced. He shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket, tugging it tighter around himself as they stepped inside. He kinda wished he wore something a little nicer, but that would require effort and patience, something Luke didn’t currently have. Plus, it was easier to just throw on a pair of jeans and a random hoodie, rather than wearing something that screamed im trying really hard to look like a boy!
The smell hit instantly. The stench of alcohol, sweat, cheap perfume, and the faint burn of something someone was definitely not supposed to be smoking. The living room was packed. Music thudded from a Bluetooth speaker, and every conversation sounded like it was being shouted through static. Gabe was near the kitchen, surrounded by teammates, laughing like he didn’t have a care in the world.
Young was stood next to Gabe, leaning against the counter. He had a drink in his hand and that same easy grin on his face as he talked to a girl Luke vaguely recognised from the senior hallway. He looked every bit the kind of guy Luke was supposed to hate. He was confident, handsome, and stupidly charming. Luke hated him.
Eli nudged him. “You okay?”
Luke blinked, snapping his gaze away. “Yeah. Fine.”
They found a semi-quiet spot by the window, which wasn’t really quiet at all, but at least they could hear each other talk. Eli grabbed two cans of beer from a cooler on the floor and handed one to Luke.
“Cheers,” Eli said, bumping the cans together.
Luke cracked a small smile. “To surviving this.”
They drank, watching the chaos unfold. Someone had already spilled beer on the rug. A couple was making out on the couch. Carter’s dog was barking from upstairs. It was ridiculous.
“You really hate this, huh?” Eli asked after a moment.
Luke shrugged. “It’s just… fake. Everyone acting like they’re best friends when they’ll talk shit about each other on Monday. It’s exhausting.”
Eli nodded slowly. “Yeah, I get that.”
Luke studied him. “You don’t seem like the party type either.”
“I’m not,” Eli said, smiling faintly. “But I wanted to hang out with you, so…”
Luke’s stomach did a weird little flip. “Why?”
“Because I don’t really have many friends right now and you seem really nice and down to earth. Plus, we’ve kinda been through the same thing and we both play for the same team,” Eli said.
“You think I’m gay?” Luke asked.
“Aren’t you? Isn’t that why you were checking out that asian guy earlier?”
“Korean,” Luke corrected.
Eli’s lips quirked upwards.
Luke’s faced flushed and he looked away quickly. “I wasn’t checking him out. If you must know, he’s Gabe’s best friend and he’s a bit of an asshole.”
“What makes him an asshole?”
“He said some transphobic stuff when he was drunk last week,” Luke said.
“Oh, shit. Like what?”
“Stuff I don’t wanna repeat. Anyway, enough about me. Let’s talk about you. Do you have a boyfriend?” Luke found himself asking.
“What?” Eli asked, leaning in a little closer to hear Luke over the music.
“I said,” Luke started to say, a lot louder this time. “Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No,” Eli shook his head. “But I’m mentally dating Andrew Garfield.”
“Oh, he would make a great boyfriend,” Luke said seriously.
“Right??” Eli’s grin widened. “He is so hot.”
“Too hot,” Luke nodded. “Okay, fine. I’m definitely gay.”
Eli laughed loudly, but before he could reply, Gabe’s voice boomed from across the room. “Luke! You actually came!”
Heads turned. Luke winced as his brother stumbled toward them, grinning like an idiot, a drink in hand. Young followed behind, slower, eyes half-lidded but amused.
“See? You do know how to have fun,” Gabe said, slinging an arm around Luke’s shoulders.
“Fun is a strong word,” Luke muttered. “I’m just here so you’ll stop bugging me.”
Gabe laughed. “Whatever you say, Squirt.” Then his gaze flicked to Eli and the friendliness was gone, replaced by protectiveness again. “You brought your new friend.”
“Hi again,” Eli said politely.
Gabe smiled, though his eyes flickered up and down Eli’s attire, trying to understand him better. “You two should hang out with us later. We’re doing shots in the kitchen.”
“I’m good,” Luke said quickly.
“You sure?” Gabe pressed, smirking. “Not even one?”
“Positive.”
Young’s voice cut in, smooth and teasing. “Not everyone likes being stupid like you.”
Gabe laughed and shrugged. “Fair point. Come on, I wanna play beer pong.” He wandered off, and the crowd swallowed him up again.
Young stayed behind for a few more seconds. Luke saw the way Young eyed Eli and vice versa. Eli was probably thinking ‘oh so this is the transphobic dickhead?’ and Young was probably just thinking ‘wow Luke actually has a friend?’
Young didn’t sneer at them, but he didn’t smile either. His face remained blank and then he quickly turned around and followed Gabe to wherever the beer pong table was. Luke exhaled, turning toward the window. His pulse was still uneven, his brain buzzing louder than the music.
Eli glanced at Luke in concern. “You wanna go outside? Get some air?”
Luke nodded. “Yeah. Please.”
They slipped through the back door, the cold air slapping their faces instantly. It was quieter out there, the sounds of the party muffled by the walls. A few people huddled around the firepit, laughing. Luke and Eli sat on the porch steps, watching the flames from a distance.
After a minute, Eli said softly, “You know, you’re not what people say you are.”
Luke frowned. “What does that mean?”
“I’ve heard things. Stupid stuff people say at school. But they’re wrong. You’re not like that.”
“What do they say?”
“Just dumb stuff. Like, you’re always down in the dumps. You’re boring. You’re a freak.”
Luke didn’t know what to say to all of that. His chest felt tight. Why did people have to be such dicks? “People will always talk,” he muttered finally.
“Yeah,” Eli said. “But that doesn’t mean you have to listen. I definitely won’t be. I want us to be friends.”
Luke stared down at the can in his hands, the silver reflecting the firelight. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “I’d like for us to be friends too. You seem cool.”
“I am.”
“Oh yeah? What makes you cool?”
“I like superhero movies.”
“That is cool,” Luke replied seriously. “How have we never spoken before?”
“Guess we were friends with the wrong people,” Eli sighed. “I kinda wanna start a GSA at school. Ya know, help more people who might feel like us.”
“GSA?” Luke frowned.
“A Gay Straight Alliance club,” Eli explained. “People who identify as LGBTQ can come and hang out. People who wanna be friends with us can also come. Don’t you think it’d be good? We can’t be the only ones who felt like shit after coming out.”
“I don’t think I even know any other gay kids at school,” Luke frowned.
“Sure you do,” Eli said. “Anthony Loza’s gay.”
“Who?”
“He’s a junior. The guy that’s on the debate team.”
“Oh, yeah. I remember him. Wait, he’s gay?”
“I should hope so with the way he kissed me under the bleachers when I was a freshman.”
Luke blinked. “Okay, that is wrong on so many levels.”
“He’s only a year older than us,” Eli waved him off dismissively. “My point is, there are so many kids banging on the closet door just waiting to get out. Maybe we could help set them free, ya know? Use our shitty experience to give them a good one. Make sure they know they have friends.”
“It sounds way too optimistic,” Luke mumbled.
“Don’t you wish you had somebody who helped you when you went through all your changes?” Eli asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I had my family,” Luke said honestly.
“Okay, but some people don’t even have that.”
“Do you?” Luke found himself asking.
Eli pursed his lips and looked down at his beer. “It’s just me and my dad. He kinda knows but it’s not something we’d ever really talk about. I think he feels uncomfortable.”
“Oh, i’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It is what it is.”
Luke sighed. “Maybe you’re right then. Maybe we should start this GSA thing. It might help.”
“Really??” Eli’s eyes sparkled. “You’ll help me?”
“Yeah,” Luke shrugged. “I ain’t got anything else to keep me occupied. This might be good for me too.”
“Oh my god, you’re the best!” Eli suddenly pulled Luke into a sideways hug.
Luke let out a surprised laugh but allowed it.
By the time the night wore on, the house was a blur of noise and motion. Someone had turned the music up so loud the speakers were crackling. Every surface was sticky from spilled drinks. Luke and Eli had somehow ended up sitting on the floor near the kitchen, laughing at absolutely nothing. Luke’s head was fuzzy, blurred around the edges. The beer from earlier had turned into something else after Eli said, “It’s just a splash, come on.” That splash had definitely not been just a splash. It had definitely been a double shot of vodka. Eli laughed, and it was loud and contagious because suddenly Luke joined in too. For a minute, it didn’t feel like a nightmare to be there surrounded by asshole jocks. It almost felt normal.
Until the shouting started.
At first, it was just background noise. Then Luke caught his brother’s voice, all sharp and furious. “You think you can talk to her like that?”
Luke froze. The laughter died in his throat. “That’s Gabe.”
Eli frowned, sitting up straighter. “What’s going on?”
Then there was the crash. It sounded like something breaking. Someone yelled “chill out!” and then the heavy, wet sound of a punch. Luke didn’t think. He just moved. He stood up on shaky legs and shoved through the crowd, his heart pounding, people turning to look as he forced his way into the living room. Gabe and Carter were in the middle of it, both red-faced and shouting, their fists half-raised. Someone’s drink had spilled all over the carpet. The girl they were arguing about stood on the sidelines, crying.
“Gabe!” Luke shouted. “Stop!”
But Gabe didn’t hear him. He shoved Carter back hard, sending him into the couch.
That’s when Young stepped in, grabbing Gabe by the shoulders. “Enough, man! Chill!”
“Get off me!” Gabe barked, trying to swing again.
Luke darted forward, clutching his brother’s arm. “Gabe, stop! Let’s just go!”
Eli pulled on Gabe’s other side, and between the three of them they managed to drag him out of the house. The cool night air hit like a slap. Gabe was still swearing under his breath, struggling weakly. “He was talking shit, Luke. I wasn’t gonna let that—”
“I don’t care!” Luke snapped, voice shaking. “You’re done. Get in the car.”
Young opened the passenger door and helped shove Gabe inside before turning to Luke and Eli. “You guys okay?”
Eli nodded, breathless. “Yeah. I think so.”
Young glanced between them, then sighed. “I’ll drive you both home. Party’s over.”
“Thanks,” Eli said. “I live just over by the park on Matherson Street.”
“Cool,” Young mumbled.
The ride was quiet, except for the low hum of the engine and Gabe’s soft, drunken snores in the back seat. Eli sat in the front next to Young, and Luke sat in the back next to his brother. The tension from before slowly faded into something calmer and quieter. Thank god. Luke hated yelling. Gabe hardly ever yelled too, which was weird.
When they reached Eli’s street, Young pulled up to the curb.
“Hey,” Luke said, leaning forward. “Sorry about all of that.”
Eli turned in his seat, his grin lazy and crooked. “What, the fight? Or the part where you dragged your brother out of a war zone like a goddamn hero?”
Luke let out a weak laugh. “Both?”
“Don’t be sorry,” Eli said, pushing the door open. “That was awesome. I had a great time.”
Luke blinked. “Seriously?”
Eli shrugged, stepping out. “You make chaos look entertaining, Luke. I’ll see you in art on Monday. Maybe we can switch partners and work on the project together.” Before Luke could think of a reply, Eli gave a small wave and disappeared up his driveway.
For a moment, silence filled the car, the kind that pressed in from all sides. Then Young spoke, his voice softer than Luke expected. “He seems like a good friend.”
Luke nodded. “Yeah. He is.”
They drove for a while in silence. Streetlights blurred through the windows, gold and ghostly. Gabe continued to snore softly.
“You okay?” Young asked finally.
Luke hesitated. “I guess. Just tired.”
Young smiled faintly, eyes still on the road. “Yeah. I remember my first lacrosse party hangover. Don’t recommend it.”
Luke snorted quietly. “I’m not hungover yet.”
“You will be,” Young said, amused. Then, after a pause: “For what it’s worth, you handled that mess better than your brother did.”
Luke glanced at him and their eyes connected in the rearview mirror. “I just wanted it to stop.”
“Because you care about him,” Young said. His tone wasn’t teasing. It was… gentle.
Luke looked away, watching the lights flicker past the window. He didn’t know what to say to that, so he said nothing.
When they finally pulled into the driveway, Young turned off the engine but didn’t move right away. “He’s gonna be a pain in the ass to carry inside.”
“Huh?”
“I’ll help.”
“Oh, no it’s okay. I can do it.”
But Young was already unbuckling his seatbelt. He came around the car and met Luke at the other side, where Gabe was slumped half out of the seatbelt. Together they managed to hoist him up, one arm each. Gabe groaned something incoherent, feet dragging against the driveway.
“God, he’s heavy,” Luke muttered.
“He’s all muscle,” Young grunted back. “And beer. Mostly beer.”
They stumbled through the front door, trying not to make too much noise, though Gabe wasn’t exactly subtle. He was laughing weakly one second and half-asleep the next. By the time they got him upstairs and into his room, Luke’s arms were shaking. They dropped him onto the bed, and Gabe immediately rolled onto his side, mumbling something about Carter being an asshole.
“Yeah, yeah,” Luke said under his breath, adjusting the pillow under his brother’s head. “Sleep it off, idiot.”
Young stood near the foot of the bed, hands on his hips, breathing a little hard. “You think he’s gonna throw up?”
Luke sighed. “If he does, I’m not cleaning it.”
They lingered there in the quiet, both of them catching their breath. The only sound was Gabe’s faint snoring. Luke was thankful his parents hadn’t woken up. He swore they could sleep through an earthquake.
When they realised Gabe wasn’t going to wake up or throw up any time soon, the pair of them awkwardly looked at each other, wondering who was going to leave first. Young rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Hey, can we talk about the other week?”
Luke frowned. “What?”
Young shifted uncomfortably. “That thing I said. The—the comment. I know you heard it. You slammed your door pretty hard. It was obvious you heard what I said, but I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I was being stupid and drunk. I just—”
Luke turned toward him sharply. “You don’t need to explain.”
“No, I do,” Young said, his voice quiet but firm. “I didn’t get it before. But now I—”
“I don’t care.”
That shut him up.
Luke crossed his arms, his jaw tight. “Seriously. You don’t have to pretend to feel bad. I already know what you think of me.”
Young’s brows furrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I don’t like you and you don’t like me,” Luke said flatly. “I don’t care what you say, or how sorry you are. I hate you and I just wish you would shut up about it.”
For a long moment, neither of them spoke. Gabe shifted slightly in his sleep, and the sound filled the silence like static.
Young blinked, like Luke had slapped him. “Hate me?”
“Yeah.” Luke’s voice came out sharper than he expected. “So you don’t have to bother trying to make it right.”
Young stared at him, his face unreadable. Then, finally, a quiet and disbelieving laugh slipped out of his mouth. “That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think? Look, I get I was an asshole but it’s not like I meant it in a dickish way. It’s just, I’ve never met somebody like you before. You know, a…”
“A freak?” Luke spat.
“A trans person,” Young frowned.
Luke didn’t reply.
“Calling you by your old name was a mistake but after Gabe explained why it hurt you so much, I felt awful. Are you really gonna hold it over me for the rest of your life?” Young asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms over his chest.
“Why do you care so much about apologising to me?”
“Because your my best friends little…uh, brother,” Young said, almost tripping over his words. “Your my best friends little brother and I’ve known you almost as long as I’ve known him.”
“And yet we’ve barley spoken, so let’s keep it that way.”
“But that’s gonna change now that we’re seniors,” Young explained. “Now that we’re all part of the team, we’re gonna be seeing a whole lot more of each other.”
“Why? Do you plan on getting drunk every weekend and crashing at my house?”
“Maybe,” Young replied sheepishly.
“You have a house of your own,” Luke snapped.
“My mom would kill me if she saw me coming home drunk like this,” Young explained.
“Don’t tell me your mom thinks you’re some kind of angel.”
“She does.”
“Well, you aren’t. So she’s clearly wrong.”
“I know that but she expects me to behave a certain way. If she found out I was partying and drinking instead of studying and passing all my exams, she would literally kill me.”
“Why? Because you’re Korean and you need to excel at all school subjects?” Luke scoffed, rolling his eyes.
Young frowned at him. “That’s a little racist, isn’t it?”
Luke’s jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”
“Aren’t you being kinda stereotypical right now?”
Luke froze, blinking like he hadn’t heard him right. “Wait, did you just call me racist?”
Young didn’t back down. “I mean… yeah? You’re the one who brought up my race like it’s part of the joke.”
Luke scoffed, shaking his head. “Oh, that’s rich. You make a transphobic comment and I’m the one who’s racist now. It’s almost like you wanna push all the blame back onto me so you don’t have to feel guilty for being an asshole.”
“That’s not what I—”
“No, that’s exactly what you said,” Luke interrupted, crossing his arms tight against his chest. “You don’t get to act like some moral compass now because I made one stupid comment. Especially when you’re the same guy who made me feel like a freak.”
Young’s jaw tightened. “I didn’t say you were a freak.”
“You didn’t have to,” Luke shot back. “You and your friends made it pretty clear.”
Young ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. “I told you I was sorry for that, okay? I was drunk, I didn’t think—”
“Yeah, that’s your problem,” Luke snapped. “You dumb jocks never think.”
Young’s voice raised a little, matching Luke’s sharpness. “You think I’m proud of that? You think I like that I said something messed up about you? Jesus, I’m trying here.”
Luke laughed, a bitter sound. “Trying? Trying to what? Make yourself feel better? Get your guilt off your chest so you can go back to being one of the golden boys who run the school?”
“That’s not fair,” Young said, frowning. “I’m not like the rest of them.”
“Sure you’re not,” Luke said sarcastically. “You hang around with them, talk like them, act like them, but yeah, you’re totally different.”
“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Young said, tone hardening.
“Then don’t!” Luke snapped. “You’re the one who keeps talking to me. You’re the one who keeps showing up. You could’ve just ignored me like everyone else.”
“I can’t!”
That stopped Luke for a second. “Why not?”
Young hesitated, then said quietly, “Because Gabe cares about you.So do your parents. And I’m around here a lot, okay? Gabe is my best friend. It’d be weird if we kept hating each other. It would be awkward and uncomfortable for him.”
Luke stared at him. Something about the way Young said it, all calm and almost pleading, made his throat tighten. But he pushed it down, shoved it into the same corner where he kept everything else that hurt. “You don’t get it,” Luke muttered. “You don’t get what it’s like being me.”
Young’s expression softened slightly. “Then help me understand.”
Luke let out a dry laugh. “You think that’s how it works? I just explain it and you suddenly stop being an asshole?”
“I’m not an asshole,” Young said, though his voice wavered.
“Yes, you are,” Luke snapped. “You think just because you said sorry that it’s fixed, but it’s not. You don’t get to erase that kind of stuff. You don’t get to erase my memories.”
Young flinched, looking like he wanted to say something, but Luke didn’t let him.
“You know what?” Luke said, voice trembling slightly now, “I don’t need this. I don’t need you. I don’t care what Gabe thinks or what you think. You can pretend to be sorry all you want, but it doesn’t change anything.”
“Luke—”
“Forget it,” Luke cut in sharply, turning toward the door.
Young reached out like he wanted to stop him, then thought better of it. “You don’t have to keep hating me,” he said quietly.
Luke stopped in the doorway, his back still turned. “Yeah,” he muttered. “I do.”
He slammed the door behind him, the sound echoing through the hall. Luke leaned against the wall, his heart pounding, trying not to let the sting in his eyes turn into tears. He told himself he didn’t care. He told himself Young deserved it. But the knot in his chest said otherwise.
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