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It was never supposed to get out. It was more of an arrangement of ideas forsay and some thoughts that had been buzzing inside my head for months now and I just had to write it down somewhere. So I made a list, a simple, jot-note list with a few names, some nice personality traits and a few things I knew about them. Really innocent actually, never meant for anyone to get hurt and the last thing I wanted to happen was exactly what did.
My name is Arthur Linsley, I know, pretty basic name but apparently, the Linsley’s were famous at one point in history and however long ago it was my dad still likes to bring it up at Christmas dinner. We’ll never actually know why cause my mom’s too cheap to pay for an Ancestry.ca account despite my dad’s talent of always bringing it up during an argument. And I can’t seem to find anything online, so I’ll guess you’ll just have to take my word for it.
Surprisingly enough my fame does not reach school. It’s not like I don’t have friends or anything, I’m just definitely not popular. Which is good for me, I like being alone. I don’t mind it like some people do. Part of it is obviously my awkward and shy demeanour. Maybe partly because no one knows I’m gay. Yeah, yeah I know surprise surprise quiet shy boy finds out he likes his guys and becomes quieter. Not too interesting, but that’s just the way I like it. I’ve been able to hide it for the most part. I blend in simply wearing my quiet social camouflage. And then of course, there was the list.
I’m not the only one who has ever done it. There are those people you kind of like and you see them and you get really nervous and keep stealing glances at them. I had some of those people. It was just after school on a Friday, most were out partying down at the pit or watching the school Lacrosse team play the Kentfield Kites. And me? I was scrolling through my phone alone in my room. I’m not antisocial it’s just I don’t go to parties and sometimes I just want a break from people so I take the weekend off, and this happened to be one of such weekends. Back to me being alone, I came across a picture on Instagram of number three. I hate the word crush cause it’s just weird and that’s not really what it is so I decided to number the people I like. His name is Marcus McIsaac, and in the photo he is standing next to Nicholas Tocci, who happens to be number two, wait no number four? Yes, I think. My mind was jumbled up so I opened up a google doc and starting writing my list.
It went like this; number four was Noah Addington. He and I were good friends for a long time and still talk a bit when I’m not having an awkward day. I’ve known him forever but as we grew up, he became more popular. Not unexpected due to his light brown hair, dark brown eyes and sharp features. He was only a few inches taller than me but it made all the difference. He had a wicked sense of humour he only shared with a few people, and over these last few years, he had become more quiet and sad looking. Not to say I hadn’t tried asking him about it a few times receiving quick and annoyed “I’m fines.” But I won’t waste my efforts on you Noah.
Number three was, as you know, Marcus McIsaac. He was almost the complete opposite of me. He was a loud partyer whose wealth attracted most of Quillstons’s student body. He had dark brown hair and a fair complexion. And I won’t be vague in saying he was ripped. he played everyone sport you could name in sixty seconds and was without question the most popular guy in school. I had never actually spoken to him before and I doubt he knew I went to his school.
Number two was in fact, Niklas Tocci. An average height-brown eyed-probably-future-model-kind-of-guy that was best friends with Marcus. He wasn’t shy for partying and was simply popular for being athletic. I wasn’t even sure if he played sports he just was. He has a younger brother I used to tutor math to and sometimes he would come and collect him when it was time to go. So, we had exchanged polite conversation in the past.
Finally, there was Thomas Elliot Levesque. He was like a foreign piece of meat you could only stare at from behind a glass. Which is a metaphor and after rereading it, it made me uncomfortable. He moved from southern France to our school two years ago and has had my attention ever since. He is tall and lean, sporting his caramel hair and golden eyes along with his southern France kind of complexion. He was the kind of guy that wore cute reading glasses, drank coffee and was witty beyond his years. I wasn’t the only one who had noticed this, and in fact, he was just as popular as Marcus and Nikolas. But, to all the girls of the school and me, he seemed untouchable. He was calm, intelligent and distant giving him a bit of a powerful demeanour. But it was his slight shyness and love of reading that struck me.
When I had finally written all the traits and characteristics racing through my head I stopped and looked at the list. Why did I like these people? What made them different or better than everyone else? I thought for a few moments at my desk, peering out my window. Could I be on someone else’s list? The thought made me laugh a bit. For me to be on someone’s list they’d have to know I existed first. I went to delete the doc but peered over the names once more. I then quickly changed the numbers and wrote; Number one: Arthur Lingsly. Tall, tanned, freckles, lean, dark brown hair and hazel eyes. Kind, smart, quiet, shy….I thought for a moment, and fun. I laughed at thought of someone thinking of me as fun, but there I was, at the top of the List. My List.
I closed my laptop and went downstairs for supper. Number one: Arthur Lingsly.
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Dear Reader, first of all, thank you for even taking the time to read my story. It’s much appreciated.
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