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Chapter 4
I hummed as I felt the wind ripple through my dark fur and the warmth of the sun on my face as I bounded through the forest. Twisting this way and that and darting through the trees and brush. I felt the familiar rush of excitement that never failed to wash through me when I shifted to my wolf form.
Today was the pack hunt, a voluntary tradition we did at least once a week. I’d set out with the pack earlier, watching them as they hunted but I’d long since ventured out on my own, preferring instead to just run wherever the forest chose to lead me.
I tilted my head up and sniffed the air which was rich with the welcoming scent of pine trees and dirt. Here, I was in my element; as free as a bird, no worries no responsibilities and no problems, it was just me and nature, the hard earth beneath my feet, the wonderful scents filling my nostrils and the beautiful sounds assaulting my ears; sometimes I wished I could stay like this forever, once I’d even tried but missing my mate had cut that trip short.
I tore through the trees and watched as a lone doe scrambled out of my path but I had no drive to chase it, I only wanted to run. Run until there was nowhere left to go and nothing left to think about.
I ran until the sun was low in the sky and then until it was too late to see it. When I heard the horn sound signaling the end of the day’s hunt I turned around and made my way back to camp where Carson would give a customarily brief speech, and then we would all go about our usual dealings. When I reached the courtyard however the speech had already ended and as happened after every hunt I was cornered by Rivers who greeted me with a huge welcoming smile and I had to bite back a sigh, instead forcing a smile for him and saying a quick hello.
I sidestepped him trying to make a speedy getaway but as expected he found himself at my side.
“Soooo…any plans tonight?” he asked with a smile.
“Not really, I’m pretty tired so I’m just gonna head off to bed.” I told him, even going as far as to fake a yawn so he’d get the hint. But of course he didn’t and if he did he chose to ignore it.
“But it’s 7:00 o’clock.” He whined with a pout then put his hand on my arm and squeezed gently.
I looked over at him, looking cute with his big round eyes and dimpled cheeks and like every time before I decided to just invite over to my place. The thing with Rivers is that he and I used to be in a ‘relationship’, if you could even all it that.
Way before homosexuality was even permitted in the pack we were intimate with each other. Long story short; we used to have sex, lots of it. That had stopped soon after I had felt the pull of my mate on my eighteenth birthday of course but I would be lying if I said we didn’t sneak a little every now and then.
It’s like Grady said; you couldn’t expect a guy to go without it forever. Back then though Rivers dressed conservatively so the pack never really suspected what he was, now that it was permitted though, everybody knew…he took the opportunity to dress the way he had always wanted and to act the way he has always thought he should act. If you saw him now you’d know instantly that he was gay and his flamboyance in speech and action didn’t help either.
“Fine, you want to come over?” I asked him and watched as his face lit up and his smile turned into a grin that seemed to cover his whole face.
“Great! You haven’t invited me over in so long!” then quietly so no one would hear; “I’ve missed you.” He said and I offered him a small smile for his troubles.
He chattered away, telling be about his day and everything else that was going on in his life that I’d missed and when we got to my front door he was still chattering. I put my hand on his shoulder and he stopped mid sentence and looked up at me.
“We’re just gonna hang out okay? Nothing else.” I told him, looking deep into his eyes so that he knew I was serious.
Upon my pronouncement the light in his eyes dimmed a little and his smile faltered but then it was back in a flash as he nodded up at me.
Secure in the knowledge that he wouldn’t be expecting anything I turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open. As expected Grady wasn’t home; he’d been gone before I woke up this morning and I hadn’t seen him at school, but I wasn’t worried, he did this all the time, he would just disappear for the whole day, sometimes once a week or once every two weeks. He never told me where he went and I never asked because I had a feeling I wouldn’t like what he told me.
I flipped on the light switch as I entered and Rivers brushed pass me to go into the kitchen; his favorite place in the house because he loved to cook. I followed close behind him and watched as he opened cupboards and started taking out ingredients.
“Surprised you actually stocked up Thomas, this is a first.” He told me with a grin.
“Yeah Grady did it.” I said absently then kicked off my shoes and took a seat at the counter to watch him make magic.
He paused for a second, his eyes on the ingredients in his hand then he looked up at me; “Yeah I heard about that…but I was hoping…I thought maybe you just said that to get out of trouble.” He said sadly.
“No it’s true.” I didn’t know what else to say; I knew he was disappointed in that even though I wasn’t sure why considering that it had been months since we’d had sex anyway so it wasn’t as if he’d be missing out on anything.
He cleared his throat and smiled; his cheeks dimpling then turned to his specialty.
“So where is he then?” he asked as he chopped, not looking at me.
“I have no idea, probably out with friends.” I guessed.
His eyes flashed up to mine “You don’t know where your own mate is?” he asked, seeming surprised at the news and with good reason since a wolf tended to take a high level of interest in his mate’s whereabouts.
“Yeah well…we don’t have that kind of relationship…I give him the space he needs and he does the same for me.” I told him softly, the lump forming in my throat.
He raised his eyebrows at me for a second then put down the knife and came around the counter to stand before me, his hands on my lap.
“You know Thomas, it’s okay to have a little sex on the side sometimes, lots of people with mates do it, it’s not a big deal since it’s not like you’re giving away your heart or anything.’ He said, his voice going husky and I watched as his hands travelled up my thighs slowly, the imprint of them through my jeans making me shiver but I shifted in my chair then cleared my throat.
“I’m not doing that to my mate Rivers, we can’t. I love him and I think it’s time we just stop the fooling around. You’re eighteen, you’ll find your mate soon too so you don’t have to worry.” I told him, my eyes trapped in his gaze and I licked my lips as his hand continued travelling up my pants. My words held no conviction and I knew I was a goner even as I said them. it’s just that it had been so long.
“Doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun.” he breathed and leaned closer as his hands travelled even further up my thighs. As always I was almost intoxicated by his scent and I unconsciously leaned closer, stifling a moan as his lips brushed against mine.
………………………….
~Grady’s POV~
I lifted my shirt to inspect the damage, trying to keep my breathing shallow in order to lessen the pain. I poked gently at the large dark bruise running from my ribs down to my right hip, then shuddered when I felt the pain explode up my side. It had been throbbing relentlessly for about an hour now and every time I moved the pain seemed to intensify.
Next time I wouldn’t mess up, I’d get there early for the delivery and get out fast; it was my fault for waking up so late in the first place, of course Pike’s men wouldn’t be happy. When I felt another shot of pain I visualized for about the thousandth time how it would feel to just quit, to finally get out of this business, to live the life of a normal teenager and not having to worry about anything but grades and girls, but of course it was pointless. One didn’t just quit this kind of business, not unless you wanted to die anyway.
With a sigh, I pushed off the wall in the empty alley and hobbled down the street to where I had parked my car this morning. I was pretty surprised they hadn’t wrecked it like they did last time I’d fucked up this big .Sending a silent thank you up to whoever chose to hear it I fumbled in my pocket for my car keys.
In five minutes I was on my way, speeding down the street as I made my way to Thomas’ house.
Thomas.
My breath hitched at the thought of him, something that had been happening a lot lately.
I figured he was already home, probably waiting up for me as usual and I wondering how I’d hide my recent injury from his prying eyes. I Knew he pretended that it wasn’t a big deal when I got hurt but I could tell it was, he couldn’t hide it from me, as much as he’d like to think he could and I felt the warmth settle in the pit of my stomach at the thought of him caring about me to the point where it upset him when I got hurt, especially when he didn’t know how or why and he would never know.
This was one secret I had been careful to keep from him. H e wouldn’t understand if I told him why I did what I did, he would try to convince me there was another way, or cuss me out for being dumb enough to get myself into it in the first place, but he wouldn’t understand, he came from money, he didn’t know what it was like to have none; he thought everything was going good at home but he didn’t know the real reason I stayed away as much as I did and I didn’t want him to know.
I would be ashamed if he found out that my mom was nothing but a common whore who spent most of her time getting drunk rather than finding a real job to take care of her only son.
I would be ashamed if he found out that I didn’t want to stay at my own home because I couldn’t stand being around her clients.
I would be ashamed if he found out that I’d started dealing drugs to find a way to take care of myself; it was the only way I saw at the time that made sense; it’s how I got my car and my clothes and everything else I wanted and as much as I found myself wanting desperately to get out of the business, it was the way I survived, I needed it to survive.
Thomas would offer to help me out, I knew he would but I couldn’t stand the thought of living off my best friend, there was just something wrong with that picture. Pride was a hell of a thing.
I maneuvered the car around the next bend, only wincing a little when it jerked me sideways. I just wanted to jump…no.… crawl slowly into bed and sleep for a few centuries. Seemed like Thomas would find out about my injury after all since I would need his help getting out of these clothes and I sighed in frustration. It felt like I needed him for so much these days, it was like my mind couldn’t stay away from him.
Ever since my eighteenth birthday I had been having these crazy feelings for him, feelings no man should ever have for another man, feelings that disgusted me and excited me at the same time. My mind was in a constant state of confusion where it concerned him and my body was in a constant state of arousal it would seem.
I put my thumb to my lips and bit down on the nail; I was attracted to Thomas and I had no idea what to do about it.
Nothing. I wouldn’t do anything about it so this was just one other thing Thomas couldn’t know. I couldn’t stand gays and now I was having the same thoughts as them?! It was as if I was being punished for something, as if making my mother what she was wasn’t punishment enough.
The first time I’d started having ‘the feelings’ it had scared me shitless but I had since learned to curb them; well sorta. He was the reason I went through girls like I went through food, whenever I felt an overwhelming desire to jump his bones I found a girl to take the edge off and it worked…but only for a short while and then I was back to where I started.
The method wasn’t really working out well but it was all I had. It got to the point where I sometimes found myself fantasizing how it would be to lie in his arms or us living together as a couple…happily ever after like the fool I was.
That would never happen, I didn’t want to have these feelings for another guy and I was sure that even though Thomas accepted gays he still wouldn’t appreciate me making a move on him. So I’d keep my feelings to myself and when it got to be too much for me I’d leave and I wouldn’t look back because there was no way I was going to lose my best friend this way…not this way.
A few minutes later I pulled into his drive way and stepped out of the car. Then I paused for a minutes, leaning against my car with my hand pressed to my throbbing flesh as I waited for the pain ebb.
‘I need a drink,’ was the thought that was ran through my mind when I pushed open the door and saw the obviously gay guy sitting in my favorite chair, legs crossed and hands moving like crazy as he chattered at a speed I hadn’t even known was humanly possible.
…………………………………
~Thomas’ POV~
I looked up as the front door opened and I groaned. I’d hoped to get rid of Rivers before he came home but the boy just would not stop talking. We’d finished eating about an hour and a half before and I’d had to sit and listen to him talk about clothes and shopping and other things that I held absolutely no interest in. It wasn’t that he was a bad person, quite the opposite actually he was a good kid but his mouth was probably his one fatal flaw.
“Hi what’s up hon, you must be the mate!” Rivers jumped up and ran over to Grady, arms flung wide and I jumped up to stop him because I knew if he so much as touched him, Grady would probably rip him to shreds. I was pretty surprised though when Rivers threw his arms around him and Grady just stood there, the only evidence of his discomfort to being touched by a homosexual being the way he scrunched up his face as if he was in pain.
Rivers turned to face me, his arms still around Grady’s shoulder as he spoke and I couldn’t help but notice the way Grady was holding his side, his face still scrunched. It was then that I realized something was wrong.
“Grady? Everything good man?” I asked taking a step closer.
“No, now could you …please get this…person off me?” he said between breaths and I noticed the way his hand shook as he stood there.
Rivers stepped away from him without me having to extricate him myself and we both looked at Grady in concern. He took a breath then hobbled toward the couch and I stepped forward to help him sit. When he did he dropped his head on the back rest, his eyes closed.
“Grady?” I asked softly. I was starting to get worried now, and my hand drifted to his forehead of its own accord.
“Mmhmm?” he answered.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, now shhh.” He said as a way to get me to shut up and couldn’t help but smile despite his obvious ill health.
“You gonna tell me why you just walked in here looking like a zombie?” I asked hoping he’d answer me so I could fix whatever his problem was.
“Gee thanks for the compliment Thomas, now I won’t even have to find a Halloween costume this year, I can just go as myself.” He said this softly, with his eyes still closed.
Rivers snickered from where he stood at the door. I looked up at him and he offered a soft smile “Anything I can do to help?”
“No we’re good thanks.” I told him dismissively, my eyes back to my mate.
“Alright…well it was nice meeting you Grady and see you later Tee.” He said and in no time he was out the door.
“Tee?” what is this? kindergarten?” Grady spoke up and I rolled my eyes.
“Even in sickness you’re an ass.” I said trying to lighten the mood. “Grady just…can you please just tell me what’s wrong with you?” I almost shouted at him.
After what felt like a minute of deafening silence, I watched as he lifted his shirt and I caught a glimpse of the nasty bruise matting his flesh.
“What the-“ I started.
“I think maybe I cracked a few ribs or something, hurts like a bitch.” He swore and I stuck my hand out to poke it gently.
He winced when my hand came into contact with it. “Stop that.” He whined and I dropped the shirt back in place.
“What happened to you?”
“Oh you know…the usual…” was all he said then opened his eyes slightly, looking at me through his slits.
So he didn’t want to tell me, big surprise there. I sighed and pushed myself off the couch, preparing to get him some ice.
“Where you going? This is the part where you take care of me remember?” he said jokingly but I was too annoyed to play around with him. It hadn’t been the first time he’d come around looking like he’d just gotten the crap beaten out of him and I still didn’t understand why he couldn’t just tell me what happened.
“Ah I’m just gonna leave you there…see ya in the morning.” I teased and left the room to go get the ice from the kitchen.
When he sighed and I heard him trying to get up off the couch I popped my head back into the room.
“I was kidding dude, I’m not that heartless jeez. Sit your ass down I’m coming with the ice.” I told him and watched in satisfaction as he lowered himself gently into the chair.
In no time I was at his side pressing the bag of ice to his flesh while he lay there limply, his eyes on my face and I started to feel self conscious under his gaze.
“Where’ve you been all day?” I hedged, shooting him a glance before my eyes went back to his injury.
“Oh you know…here and-“
“No Grady I don’t know so how bout you just tell me and stop this crap.” I said angrily. I held the bag in my hand now and glared at him.
“You don’t see me asking you your business.” He grumbled.
“That’s because you already know my business. What is it that’s so bad you can’t tell me? Where do you disappear to all the time? And why do you always come back hurt?” I pleaded with him.
“Not always.” He evaded and I sighed in frustration.
“Grady please, I’m your best friend; if you can’t tell me then who can you tell?” I asked, my voice low and my eyes piercing his.
He continued looking at me before he broke eye contact and I was shocked to see the tears glistening in his eyes. I brought my hand up to touch his face but he turned away and I dropped it back into my lap.
“Grady…” I started gently. I had never seen him cry or show any form of weakness and this in itself scared the hell out of me. Something was wrong, seriously wrong and he wouldn’t or couldn’t tell me what it was.
“There’s nothing to tell and even if there was it’s not something you’d want to hear anyway, trust me.” He said seriously, blinking away the tears from his eyes.
“Try me.” I challenged.
“That was hypothetical, like I said, there’s nothing to tell.” He said firmly “I’m fine. Now shhh lemme sleep.” He said with a small smile then closed his eyes and did just that.
AUTHOR’S NOTES
SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO UPLOAD THIS GUYS..MY NET HAS BEEN GOING CRAZY THESE PAST FEW DAYS BUT AT THE MOMENT IT’S WORKING SO I THOUGHT “NOW’S MY CHANCE TO UPLOAD!” ANYWAY.. A READER ASKED ME IF I KNOW ANY STORIES ON WATTPAD WHERE THERE’S A HEIGHT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE MAIN CHARACTER AND HIS BOYFRIEND SO I THOUGHT I’D ASK YOU GUYS..IF YOU DO PLEASE LEMME KNOW SO I CAN PASS IT ALONG…………
ALSO I’VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK…WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK OF GRADY AND BE HONEST….I GOTTA SAY I JUST LOVE HIM CAUSE HE’S FUNNY AND JUST DIFFERENT..BUT I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK!!
-DoUbLe.A
-unedited.
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