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Est tried to be patient. He really did.
He’d promised himself he wouldn’t be that person — insecure, reactive, dramatic. That wasn’t who he wanted to be. That wasn’t the boyfriend he wanted to be for William.
And he knew William wasn’t doing anything wrong. William was simply… learning how to exist again. After years of being avoided, ignored, whispered about in hallways, he was slowly stepping back into the world. Letting his shoulders relax. Letting people see the real him.
Est understood that.
He was even proud of it.
But patience, even when genuine, has a breaking point — and it usually breaks where fear lives.
Not loud fear. Not the kind that screams.
The quiet kind. The kind that whispers, if people finally see him… will he still choose me?
They were walking hand in hand toward Est’s building — same path as always, same rhythm, same little comfort. The kind of ordinary moment that should’ve felt safe.
Then someone brushed against William again.
Too close. Too casual.
“William!” Fei’s voice rang out, bright and careless. She reached out to flick imaginary lint from his sleeve. “So weird, right? I keep bumping into you lately.”
Est felt it — like a pin pressed straight into his ribs.
Before William could even form a polite smile, Est stepped forward.
“Really? If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re doing it on purpose.”
Fei blinked. Her innocent expression was just a little *
too practiced. “I have no idea what you mean, Est.”
“Don’t treat me like I’m stupid,” Est replied. “I know exactly what you’re doing.”
The words slipped out colder than he meant, but it was too late.
The air stilled. People slowed as they passed, drawn to the sharp tension.
William’s hand found Est’s wrist — gentle but firm. “Est, hey. Calm down. Don’t do this.”
Don’t do this.
The phrase hit differently than it was meant. It wasn’t an order, but it felt like one.
Est turned to him, hurt flickering behind his eyes.
Don’t do this? Don’t protect what we have? Don’t stand up for us?
He pulled his hand back, the space between them suddenly colder.
“You seriously think that wasn’t intentional? And you’re defending her?”
“I’m not defending her,” William said, exasperation coloring the edges of his calm. “Est, I don’t care what she does as long as she’s not hurting us. I stopped you because you’re an athlete — if you lose your temper, it could ruin everything. Especially over something that doesn’t even matter.”
Doesn’t matter.
The words landed like a slap, quiet but stinging.
To William, they were logic — an attempt to de-escalate.
To Est, they were dismissal.
Because if it didn’t matter, then maybe he didn’t matter either.
He swallowed, jaw tight. “I’ll see you at lunch,” he said softly, because if he said anything louder, the crack in his voice would show.
William called after him — a quiet, uncertain “Est…” — but Est didn’t look back.
Every step away from him felt heavier, his chest twisting tighter with each one.
By the time he reached the class, he still hadn’t unclenched his jaw.
He slid into his seat, trying to make himself small — to keep his storm private. But the air still felt too thin, too sharp.
Jia approached, returning a borrowed notebook. “Here. Thanks for letting me borrow it.”
Est took it too fast — maybe snatched it — but he couldn’t soften himself in that moment.
Jia raised a brow. “Whoa. You and William fight?”
He didn’t answer. His throat felt too tight for words.
Jia sighed, and something in her tone softened — curiosity laced with the casual cruelty of someone who doesn’t know they’re pressing on a bruise. “Hey, check this out.”
She turned her phone toward him.
A photo — William sitting in the library. A girl smiling across from him. Caption: thanks to William for letting me study with him.
The world tilted, subtle but unmistakable. His stomach dropped before his mind could catch up.
He stared at the screen too long.
“Why are you showing me that?” he asked finally, voice low, controlled.
Jia shrugged. “Just thought you’d want to know your boyfriend’s, like… popular now.”
Her tone was light, teasing — but her eyes lingered, watching his reaction the way people watch something about to break. “You’re lucky, you know.”
Lucky.
The word snagged on something inside him.
He wanted to laugh, but the sound wouldn’t come.
Est turned away, staring out the window. The sky looked annoyingly calm. Like the world didn’t care about the storm inside him. Jia eventually walked away, and only then did he let out a tight breath.
___
Lunch came too fast.
Too soon for his pulse to settle, too soon for his thoughts to unspool into anything kind.
Under their usual tree, William and Tui were laughing about something small — something normal.
For a moment, Est just watched from a distance, the sight of William’s head tilted back, his laughter unguarded.
When William spotted him, his face lit up — that open, boyish kind of joy that used to make Est feel chosen, special. Irreplaceable.
Now it only twisted the ache deeper, because even that joy felt fragile, conditional, maybe borrowed.
“Where’s your food?” William asked, his smile faltering as Est stopped a few steps away.
Est didn’t sit. Didn’t smile. The air around them shifted — something taut replacing what used to be easy.
He lifted his phone instead, screen glowing between them.
“You have a study partner now?”
There was no accusation in his voice — just exhaustion.
William blinked, confused. “What?” He leaned forward to look. His frown deepened as he saw the photo.
“Est… I don’t even know that girl.”
“She said you let her study with you.”
“I didn’t,” William said, the words tumbling out too quickly. “Tui was there. It wasn’t like that.”
He looked Tui — grasping for confirmation, for an anchor. “Tui, you saw—”
“Forget it,” Est interrupted. The two words came out quiet, stripped of anger but heavy with fatigue. His voice didn’t crack, but it sounded like it wanted to.
“And like you said — it doesn’t matter.”
The echo of William’s earlier words hung between them, heavy and unmistakable.
William stood so suddenly his chair scraped against the grass, the sound sharp enough to make Tui flinch.
“It does matter. Everything about you matters. Est, please—”
But Est was already pulling away. Not running — just withdrawing.
William reached out, fingers wrapping around Est’s wrist — desperate.
“Est, let me explain.”
“Not now,” Est said quietly. His throat ached with the effort to sound composed. “I just… I need to think. We’ll talk later.”
He didn’t pull his wrist away harshly. He just eased it out of William’s grasp, like letting go was the only way not to break in front of everyone.
He walked away — shoulders tense, breath unsteady, wishing his heart wasn’t so loud in his chest.
William sat back down, but this time his body folded in on itself. Fingers threaded through his hair. Face buried in his palms like he could hide from the fear blooming inside him.
“Tui…” His voice cracked on the name. “He looked so sad. What if he breaks up with me?”
Tui’s sigh was long — the kind of sigh that carried both sympathy and frustration.
“Do you even know why he’s upset?”
William looked up, eyes rimmed red. “I don’t understand. I haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Oh my god,” Tui said softly, shaking his head — not annoyed, just weary for both of them. “William… he’s jealous.”
William stared, disbelief flickering across his face. “But why? There’s no one else. There’s never been anyone else.”
“I know you know that,” Tui said. “But Est doesn’t. Not really. You used to be the rumor — the guy everyone avoided. Now you’re the one everyone wants to talk to, sit next to. You don’t notice it, but people do. And you just… let it happen. You stand there, polite, quiet — like it doesn’t matter.”
William winced, jaw tightening. “I thought ignoring it would make it go away.”
Tui shook his head. “Maybe for you. But from where he’s standing? It looks like you don’t mind the attention. Like you’re just… letting it happen.”
William’s gaze dropped to his hands. He flexed them once, restless. “I didn’t realize he needed me to say it out loud.”
“He does,” Tui said softly. “Because your relationship started in pretend. He had to believe you chose him. He needs reassurance. More than most.”
For a long moment, William said nothing. His throat moved once as if he were swallowing back something sharp.
Then, quietly, “I’ll fix it.”
Tui studied him and nodded. “Then fix it right. Make him feel like he’s still the only one in the room.”
“I will,” he whispered, almost to himself. “I can’t lose him.”
The words hung there — raw, certain, trembling.
__
Est swam until his body burned, until each stroke felt like he was wrestling the ache out of his ribs. The pool was the only place he could pretend he wasn’t unraveling.
But even exhaustion couldn’t drown one truth: When he surfaced, chest heaving, the first face he searched for — the only one he wanted — was William’s.
And guilt stung where anger had been.
He hated how jealous he’d felt. How unfair it was to William — who never asked for attention, who didn’t know his own pull.
So instead of staying longer, instead of hiding in the water, Est dried off, gathered his things, and went looking for him — because talking felt better than running.
And there he was.
William, standing just outside the building entrance, hands tucked into his pockets. Tui beside him, arms crossed, pretending to be disinterested but very obviously on guard duty.
“What are you doing here?” Est asked, trying to sound neutral and failing.
“Waiting for you,” William said quietly.
“I told you the other day you don’t have to wait for me anymore after practice,” Est reminded gently, not annoyed.
“I know. And I told you I wanted to.”
His voice wasn’t stubborn — it was hopeful.
Est’s eyes flicked to Tui. “You joining us for dinner?”
“Nope,” Tui said immediately. “He asked me to stand here so random girls don’t try flirting while he waits.”
Est blinked, then frowned. “I’m his boyfriend and they still try when I’m around. What difference does you being here make?”
“I happen to be very good at politely shooing them away,” Tui said proudly. “I let them know he’s waiting to talk to someone important. No snapping necessary.”
“…Seriously?” Est muttered, somewhere between disbelief and embarrassment.
William laughed. “Shockingly, it worked.”
Tui stretched and started backing away. “And on that note, I’m out. Good night.”
“Thanks, Tui,” William said with genuine warmth.
“Anytime. Bye, Est.”
And then he was gone — leaving the world suddenly quieter, softer, filled with the quiet hum of feelings too big to say all at once.
They stood there a moment, neither rushing.
“You okay?” William asked, voice gentle
Est nodded, breathing easier for the first time that day. “Better now.”
William exhaled, shoulders dropping. “Sorry,” he murmured. “For being clueless. For not knowing. I didn’t realize you’d… be jealous. I never want to make you doubt.”
Est shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize. I should trust you more. I do trust you. I just…” he swallowed, voice rough, “got scared.”
“You’re allowed to be scared,” William said, stepping closer. “I’ll reassure you. I want to. Your feelings are real. They matter. I’ll do better.”
Something loosened in Est’s chest — like a knot finally letting go.
“…Thank you.”
William hesitated, eyes soft. “Can I come over? Stay with you tonight?”
The answer came instinctively, a warmth spreading through Est’s voice. “Of course. Come home with me.”
A faint smile curved William’s lips — relieved.
They walked toward the parking lot, fingers brushing before finally intertwining.
___
When Est stepped out of the bathroom, William was already in bed. He lay on his side, head propped on his arm, watching Est like he’d been waiting for this exact moment.
Like seeing him was relief.
“What?” Est asked, trying — and failing — not to smile.
“Nothing,” William said, but his voice was full of warmth, and the small lift at the corner of his mouth betrayed him. He patted the spot beside him. “Come sleep.”
Est slid into bed. William leaned over and turned off the lamp.
Est picked up his phone, casually checking it — and froze.
The screen, bright in the darkness, showed notifications and mentions.
@williamjkp mentioned you in their story.
His thumb hesitated before he tapped open the first story.
IG Story One — their first awkward selfie.
Caption: Everyone avoided me then, but you didn’t. You never judged me. I still don’t know why you chose me.
Est’s chest tightened.
Story Two — Est floating lazily in William’s pool, eyes closed, sun catching in the water around him. He didn’t even know William took that photo.
Caption: No one has ever defended me like you did.
Story Three — their first real selfie as a couple, cheek to cheek, the quiet kind of happiness that looked like peace.
Caption: I never regretted loving you — real or fake.
Story Four — a screenshot of the article where Joong revealed the truth.
Caption: Sometimes I wish my truth stayed quiet. Because with all this attention, I’m scared of losing our safe world.
Est’s breath trembled.
Story Five — their hands intertwined, fingers threaded like they were always meant to be.
Caption: No matter how loud life gets, my heart stays here. With you. Always.
Est didn’t realize tears had slipped down his cheeks until William’s thumb brushed one away with infinite gentleness.
“Please don’t cry,” William whispered, voice soft like he was afraid to break the moment.
Est let out a watery laugh. “You’re so cheesy.”
“Only for you,” William murmured, a little proud.
Est leaned closer, voice barely above breath. “I love you.”
William inhaled sharply — like the words still stunned him, like they landed new every time.
He cupped Est’s face, and Est kissed him. Slow at first, tender, grateful. Then deeper, fuller.
Their foreheads rested together, breaths mingling, hearts steadying.
And when they finally made love, it wasn’t rushed or frantic — it was quiet and warm, full of whispered apologies and soft laughter, the press of skin and trust and belonging. There was only breath, and touch, and the deep certainty that they were choosing each other again, and again, and again.
Later, tangled together beneath the sheets, skin warm and hearts steadied, William brushed a fingertip along Est’s cheek as if tracing something precious.
“You’re my peace,” he murmured, voice thick with feeling.
Est’s eyes softened, a tired smile tugging at his lips as he leaned into the touch.
In that quiet room, wrapped in each other, nothing could touch them.
Not the noise.
Not the attention.
Not the doubt.
Just two hearts, steady and safe — choosing, again and again.
__
Note:
So sorry for the late update! 🙏
Happy Halloween! Have you seen WilliamEst’s Halloween photos yet? They look absolutely incredible! 🫠🫠
Also, I have a new story I’m hoping to post tomorrow or this weekend. I hope you look forward to it!
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