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Jacob’s POV
I continued walking until I reached the entrance of the cemetery. I took a a long breathe to help calm my nerves, tightening my grip on the bouquet in my hands. I finally entered the cemetery, which only a few people were visiting. My anxiety started kicking in, which was preventing me from going into the building where you ask someone to find a grave, so it was just me on this journey to find my dad.
I wandered the cemetery trying to remember where his funeral was held, the location where he was buried. This cemetery is mainly flat, but I recognized a tree in the area, which I have a memory with.
After his ceremony, I remember going to that tree, sliding down it to cry. That was the tree, where I last saw my dad’s grave.
Once I fully remembered the tree, my heart started to race. It won’t be long until i find his grave. I walked towards the tree and put my hand on it, trying to retrace my footsteps, of the last time I was here. I let my feet control me, and let it wander to wherever feels right.
As I was walking and reading the names on the tombstones, I finally found it. My dad’s grave.
Roger Brentwood
1972-2009
I walked in front of the grave, admiring it, knowing that right under my feet, is where my dad lays to rest.
“Hey dad, long time no see.” I started off, kneeling down, to get closer to the headstone.
“Dad, I really miss you. Mom really misses you. We all do dad.” I whispered, tears starting to form in my eyes.
“Why’d you have to leave so early? You won’t see my mature, graduate, or even get married dad. Why?” I whispered once again, the tears flowing down my face.
“I’m sorry dad, I’m so sorry for having this happen to you. I’m sorry for feeling so selfish, Im sorry that you got in an accident because of me. This is all my fault.” I whispered, sitting down fully, crossing my legs.
“You’ve missed so much. I met him dad. I met him. Shawn. He makes me happy, his music makes me happy. You probably don’t know him, but he’s such an amazing person.” I said laughing to myself at the end.
“Mom’s been working harder dad, I’m worried about her. I feel like she’s working too hard. I don’t want her to over work herself.” I said, the mood getting sadder again. “I don’t want her to end up like you. She’s working hard because of me, and I don’t want to be the reason for another person dying. She’s barely home anymore dad, she’s always working.” I said wiping my tears off my face.
“Dad, I wish you were still here, I wish we were still a family. I wish you never died. I wish you were here with me, helping mom and I. Help me through this.”
“I know you aren’t here with us. But, I know you’re watching us, watching mom keep me happy and ourselves fed. I know you’re watching me grow up. I just know it.”
“Please watch over us dad, please watch over mom, make sure she doesn’t overwork her self for me, keep her safe for me and for you.” I said looking up at the sky, clouds starting to cover the clear sky.
“I love and miss you so much dad. So much.” I whispered, standing up. “I’ll come back soon I promise. I love you.” I said, putting the bouquet right in front of the headstone, before walking away. I looked back one more time, smiling to myself before walking away, making my way back to leave the cemetery.
-=+=-
When I reached my house, the realization finally hit me. I actually visited my dad’s grave. Something I have always wanted to do, finally happened.
My mom also wanted me to do this for awhile as well. Whenever she has the time to go, she goes. She always asks me if I want to go, but I always decline. She wanted me to go whenever I felt ready. Whether I was with her, with Michele, or by myself. She wanted my first visit to him to feel special, and when I went today, It was. Talking to him helped me find more peace in his death, something that II have a hard time finding because his death was nowhere near expected. Am I ready to tell people what happened yet? No. Will I ever be ready? Maybe, maybe not.
I went into my room and opened my closet, looking for a special box that I haven’t touched in awhile. A shoebox. I know, a shoe isn’t special, but it is the contents that is special. It was a bit difficult to find, not that I have a messy closet, nope. It’s the fact that I have many shoe boxes. I always liked to collect boxes such as the boxes iPhones comes in, MacBooks, and even shoeboxes. But I finally found the box, and I smiled to myself as I pulled it out of my closet
I put it on the floor, turning on my laptop, and playing Shawn Mendes’s song Memories, because this box is full of them.
I opened the box, and I smiled to myself, pulling out the first thing I saw.
I call this box the Family Box because it is filled with photos of my family. A tradition I kept for awhile which I sadly stopped after my dad died, because this box reminds me of him.
The first photo I picked out was a photo of me and my dad during Christmas that my mom took. It was a photo of my dad handing me a Christmas gift, the last gift that year I received, and sadly, the last Christmas we got to spend as a family.
I started grabbing photos so I could use them as decoration for my wall. I already have a plan for them too, which I’m excited to see how it turns out, but everything always sounds cooler in my head so.
But before I could continue photo hunting, my thoughts were interrupted by my phone going off, a ding noise, signaling that I received a text. From an unknown number to be exact.
My phone never goes off, due to my unpopularity, but when it does, it’s usually from Jordan, Michele or my mom. So I was surprised that the text wasn’t from any of them.
Unknown: Hey Jacob!
Me: I’m sorry, but who is this D:
Unknown: Oh yeah! I forgot I never gave you my number.
Unknown: It’s Shawn! I just got to the next city for my tour, so it’s currently a day off for me today.
Me: Hey Shawn! So how are you?
Shawn: Bored. There’s nothing to do in the hotel.
Shawn: Can we ft? I need some human interaction.
Me: I look like a potato but sure.
I put my phone down, looking at a mirror to see my current state, which wasn’t that bad actually. I grabbed my laptop and opened FaceTime. I clicked Shawn’s contact and called him, which only took a moment for him to answer.
“Hey Jacob!” Shawn said with a big smile. “Whatcha doing?”
“Just going through photos of my dad, I’ve finally went to the cemetery to visit him today for the first time.”
“Good job Jacob! Can I see some photos?” He asked, which I nodded in response.
To be honest, I don’t know how I’m acting so chill right now. It’s Shawn Mendes and here I am not freaking out.
He already knows some stuff about my dad, but not a lot. Plus, if what he was saying was on the day I had a mental breakdown was true, I might as well let him know more about my dad, but only in small increments.
I stood up and grabbed the photo on my bed side table to show him, because it was one of my favorite photos that I have of my family.
“This photo is one of my favorites. When we were at Universal Studios.”
“Look at you! You were so little. What are you even going to do with those photos?” He asked.
“I have an idea in my head, which hopefully turns out well because I want this to be special for him.”
“Wow, your dad must’ve been an amazing person.” Shawn pointed out watching me look through my photos.
“He was Shawn, he was.”
-=+=-
Word Count: 1,433
Updated: 7/19/2016
Votes and Comments are appreciated!
A/N: Thank you all for reading and voting, it means a lot! I will try my best to update at least every two days.
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