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Why? Why couldnt he have got one of his other friends to help him. I wondered why he asked me. I’m definitely not a nerd to copy off of for an easy grade. Maybe he just wants to… Hang out? No, why the hell would he want to hang out with a gay dude. I just stopped guessing and continued to drive.
I pulled up to his house and knocked on the door, and heard little footsteps getting louder until somebody opened the door. It was jason, he was wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants. Wow, don’t get dolled up for me. “You look good.” he said casually as he leaned on the doorframe. I looked down at myself, it was more or less casual. A mint green shirt with a tucked in white tee and my favorite combat boots. “Thank’s I guess.” I said as we walked into his house, going directly to his room.
“So what do you need help on?” I asked him as I sat on the bed. He just sat there and stared at me, which was making me uncomfortable. I clapped my hands together loudly, waking him from his trance. “Oh, not much, just some geometry.” he said. I
Thought he had a project to work on, but whatever. He pulled out a book and I started helping him on a rather large amount of work.
We were halfway through the work, and I told him to do some by hisself so I could check them. He just sat there and groaned as he slowly answered a question. I pulled my phone out from my skirt pocket, but I heard him mutter something. “What?” I asked him looking up from my phone. “Ill kiss you if you do this for me.” he said with a smirk. “No.” I said, aggravated. “I’ll… French kiss you if you do.”. “No.” I repeated. “Well…” he kept quiet for a second, “i’ll suck you off if you do.”, “no, jason” I told him quickly. “I’ll fuck you if you do.” “No!” I said, annoyed.
“What if we just fucked?”
I sat there for a second. I did not hear that come out of his mouth. “Say that again.” I said in a monotone pitch. “I wanna fuck you ken, so bad.” he said, quickly crawling over to me and wrapping his arm around me. “What the fuck?!” I yelled, trying to pull out of his grip. “No, stay, I need you.” he said against my neck, making me shiver. “No, Get off of me!” I said, trying to get out of his grip again, but to no avail.
He wrapped his arm around my neck and pressed it against me. “Why?! Why are you doing this?!” I yelled. “Because I love you. I want to be with you!” he said, tears falling from my face. I looked behind me at him, and his face changed. It went from hot and dirty to devastation, and let me go, letting me fall off the edge of the bed.
He sat there on his bed, on his knees, with no shirt, and bulge sticking out. “Come here.” he said. My stupid ass couldnt stop myself and stood up. “Why?” I said, tears falling down my face, “Why?!”
He looked at me and I watched a tear fall down his face. “I…” he said, tear falling fast, “I dont know…”. He reached his hand up to my face and wiped my tears away and continued to hold my face. “I had a want, a need, for you. Its gotten so bad that its at this point.” he said, slowly wrapping his arms around me and burying his face into my chest. “Why didnt you to tell me this when I liked you?” I said, patting his back. “I dont know! I dont fucking know!” he said, squeezing me tighter into my chest, making my shirt a tear stained mess. “God, im so fucking stupid!” he yelled aloud.
“No your not. You were just anxious, but thats okay, its fine.” I told him, laying my head on his. “Its not fine! I… I invited you over here to do this! I almost raped you! People dont rape the person they love. You have a freaking boyfriend! I dont make many mistakes, Ken, but i do have one.” he said, “And its letting a shooting star like you… Just pass by.”
I now lay there, on the bed of the boy I used to love, letting him cry into my chest about how much he loved me. Fuck… What am I supposed to do?
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