Array
(
[text] =>
“You have been ignoring us.” Jungkook started, his lips turning in to a sad pout.
Jimin looked at him, his heart increased it’s pace. He doesn’t know what to say. How does he reply to them?
“Is it because of that day?” Seokjin asked, his fingers fiddling with the hem of blue shirt.
The other five didn’t have any reaction, other than curiousity. Maybe they already talked about what happened. It made Jimin more uncomfortable. He walked in to someone kissing, and they talking about it with their lovers feels embarrassing.
But again, they are lovers. They share everything with each other.
“It is, right?” Namjoon’s voice wasn’t loud, but in the silent room, it felt as if he is shouting.
Jimin’s eyes met the older’s for a second. It was filled with uneasiness and nervousness. He glanced away feeling heavy in his heart. He never wanted to be the reason for their suffering.
“I- I-” Jimin stumbled on his words. It was so awkward for him to open up his feelings.
“Jiminah,” Yoongi’s hand reached out for him, squeezing gently. “You don’t have to be nervous around us. We won’t judge you. Talk to us please.”
If he say that didn’t reassured him, it will be a lie. He felt slightly relieved. This is what he wanted, someone to hear him without judging, take care of him despite his lacking, love him even with his imperfections.
“I felt bad that I walked on you.” He mumbled, still enough for them to hear. “I didn’t mean to violate your privacy.”
“You did not, you will never. This is your home, and we should have been more careful to make you uncomfortable.” This time Hoseok spoke up.
“No, you are not the reason. The problem is me. I was the one who made you uncomfortable.” Jimin shook his head, denying Hoseok’s words.
It’s him, who is insecure. It is him who wanted to be in a relationship, but still can’t make a move. And it is him, who knows they love him, but still ignoring them.
“No, you are not. And if you think you made us uncomfortable, you will never. You are not a stranger for us Jimin. You are one of us.” Taehyung’s deep voice repeated in Jimin’s ears, again and again.
“You are one of us.”
“And we don’t mind you walking on us.” Jungkook said. “We will be happy if you join us.” Jimin didn’t heard the last part, but just by the first sentence, his cheeks turned pink.
“You can talk to us about anything. Don’t bottle up if anything is bothering you. Talk to us. We love you, you know that, right?” Seokjin’s leaned more closer to him, his eyes staring right in to Jimin’s. The eye contact gave him butterflies in his stomach, so does the words. They love him.
“But, I- I am not Jaemin. And I-” I don’t deserve it. You wouldn’t like me. I am not good. He wanted to say.
But Namjoon cut him off. “We love you not because you looks like Jaemin. We love you as you are, we love you for yourself. And, stop comparing yourself to Jaemin, cause you both are same person. Just because you don’t remember your past, it doesn’t mean you both are different people.”
A lone tear fell out of Jimin’s eyes sliding down his rosy cheeks. His heart was aching. He know Namjoon is right. He do. But the voice inside his head wouldn’t shut up.
“We love you.” Taehyung wrapped his hands around Jimin pulling him in to a gentle hug.
That was his last queue and Jimin bursted out. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he started sobbing in to older’s shoulder. Taehyung’s hands tightened around him, pulling him in to his chest. Another hand, was on his head, patting his hair softly.
It felt good to cry, the burdens inside his chest lessened. The more he thought about it, more sobs left his lips.
One by one, all six of their hands wrapped around him, covering him like in a cocoon. He felt peaceful in their embrace.
“We care for you, Jiminah. You know that, right?” Hoseok mumbled in Jimin’s ear.
Jimin nodded, his head still buried in Taehyung’s chest.
He does know they care about him. He have seen how they looks at him and how they acted around him. And ever since they found about someone stalking him, one of them have been always with him. They didn’t even allow him to go out. And even when he go to the garden, they will follow him like his guards, even though there were real guards around the house.
So, Jimin know they care about him. But again, the problem is him. He is just insecure. The thought about not being good enough is eating him alive. That’s why he is trying to stay away from them.
Of course, the first step of love is always denial. But Jimin was afraid to move on from that phase. He is scared, for god knows what.
“We don’t want to pressure you or something. But it hurts, seeing you ignoring us.” Yoongi’s voice cracked, as they all pulled away from each other. His eyes were glistening, as he hold back tears.
“Just know that, we love you. It doesn’t matter if you don’t reciprocate those feelings. You can’t force yourself something like that. But please, please don’t ignore us. We can’t live without you.” Tears rolled down Taehyung’s eyes.
“It hurts in here.” Jungkook pointed towards his heart, his flushed face extremely sad.
Namjoon, Seokjin and Hoseok were also in the verge of tears. They all looked at Jimin with pain.
Jimin’s heart broke at the sight of them. They love him so much.
‘But, does he worth it?’
‘Is he good enough?’
‘Can they accept him as he is?’
‘Will they eventually hate him?’
‘What will happen if they left him?’
Again, those questions. This what ifs are killing him from inside.
“I will talk to you later, I am not feeling well.” With that he stood up, shrugging their hands off of him. He saw their hurt face through his peripheral vision.
It hurt him too. But he doesn’t know what to do.
So without glancing back, he ran to the bathroom and closed the door shut, sliding down the wall with tears streaming down his face. He placed his forehead on the knees, and started sobbing.
Why is he like this? Why is he always hurting people who loves him? Why can’t he have peaceful relationship with anyone?
Jimin wondered, if this why he never made friends. Or any other close relationship. He was always insecure, scared that people leave him. He was scared of losing and he still is. He doesn’t have any idea were this fear came from, but he is afraid of losing people.
Suddenly Jimin felt hand on his shoulder. He flinched and looked up. He did closed the door, how can someone be inside?
But when he looked up, his soul left his body. He found a man standing there looking down at him with kind eyes. But what shocked him the most was, the man looked exactly like he himself.
“I-, Who- Wha-” Jimin stumbled upon his words, not able to form a sentence. Who evem can when your look alike standing infront of you.
Jimin moved back a little trying to keep space from the man, only to hit his back on the wall.
“Hey hey, calm down dear.” The man smiled down at him, a kind small smile, which can bring comfort to anyone. “Don’t be afraid of me. I am you, but from the past.”
Jimin looked up at him with wide eyes. That’s when he noticed the long hair and pink color hanbok he was wearing. “J- Jaemin?” He stuttered out.
“Yes dear. It is me.” The black haired male answered.
“B-but no, this can’t be.” Jimin shook his head in denial. How can this man be here? He is dead.
“Do not panick.” The man rubbed his back gently. Jimin looked at his features. It was the same as him. The eyes, nose, lips,even the crooked tooth were the same.
When Jimin calmed down, Jaemin sat beside him. Jimin’s eyes followed his movements.
He doesn’t know what is happening? How can Jaemin be here? Why is he in the bathroom with him? How did he enter? How can this all be possible? Is he dreaming?
But again, whatever happened last few months was something no one can imagine. So everything is possible and there is no reason for hin to be shocked.
After a few moments of silence, Jaemin spoke. “You love them!” It wasn’t a question. Just a statement.
Jimin didn’t say anything, he watched the man’s side profile. It was like watching his twin. “Why are you not admitting it to them?” Jaemin turned his head towards Jimin.
“I am not worth it. They won’t love me. I am scared of losing them.” Talking with Jaemin felt easy. Maybe because they looks the same and it felt like he is talking to himself. “I don’t know why though.” He added.
“Jimin.” The man placed his hands on Jimin’s. “You are over thinking. They love you. And don’t be scared of losing them. They will never leave you. And, I understand where this fear is coming from. I think it is because we lost our lovers in the past. That is why you are scared. But do not be. This life will be yours, and ours. Let them love you. You deserve it.” After a pause, the he continued. “Or if you think you do not, do you also think, I do not deserve to be loved by them?” Jaemin gently lift Jimin’s chin with his fingers.
“NO.” Jimin almost shouted. “You deserve the whole love in the world.” He answered.
“Then you should enjoy this love you are getting. Cause, Jimin and Jaemin are the same person. I am you, you are me. So don’t hurt yourself. You deserve all the love in this world. They love you. If you let them in your heart, they will cherish you like the gem you are.” Jaemin wiped off the tears streaming down Jimin’s cheeks.
Jimin closed his eyes, letting the words in. Jaemin is right. He is just ove thinking. Jaemin and him are the same person. In this life, he is here to love, to be loved and to live his life fully. And he is going to do it.
So, yes. He made a decision. He is going to accept their love. He is going to reunite with his past lovers.
When Jimin opened his eyes again, there wasn’t anyone in the bathroom. It’s just him sitting on the floor, wrapping his hands around knees. There was no one. Not any hint of other presence.
Another tear rolled down Jimin’s eyes. But this time, a smile also appeared in his lips.
‘Thank you Jaemin.’ He whispered.
Then he stood up and walked out of the bathroom. His bedroom was empty. There was no sight of his six lovers there. Maybe they left the room to give him space. And Jimin really do appreciate it.
Today night, he is going to confess to them. He is going to open up how he feels about them and how much he loves them.
Everything was ready. He prepared dinner for his lovers, decorated one of the bedroom, ask his lovers to meet him at the room for dinner. Now he need to get ready.
Throughout all preparation, Bora helped him. She know, what is going on. She was so excited for it.
A smile spread across Jimin’s face, as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He picked up his favorite fit. And styled it with hoop earrings and a simple chain. Did a little make up as well. He wanted ti look good for his lovers.
And, now his signature style, rings. He love to wear rings, and a lot of them at that. It’s his style. He don’t care what others say.
When he was about to reach out for his ring collection, his phone rang loudly, disturbing the comfortable silence in his bedroom.
Jimin stood up from were he was sitting in front of the mirror and picked up his phone. What if it’s his parents or Bora calling for him?
But as he read the caller ID, it was an unknown number. The same number, which have been calling him for couple of days now.
The call hung up in seconds. But another notification caught Jimin’s attention. It was from the same number.
Frowning, he tap on the message icon. Jimin was curious why this person has been calling him this much. Reading a message wouldn’t hurt, right?
But as soon as he read it, his heart skipped a beat. The color left from his face, and even with the artificial blush, his whole face paled. Jimin felt chills down his spine, and his hands trembled.
“I know who killed Yejun. I have proof. I can send your six lovers to jail. If you don’t want that to happen, come to the location I’ve attached, ALONE.
(づ๑•ᴗ•๑)づ♡
[text_hash] => 0a052817
)