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I was still in a daze during dinner. I couldn’t speak or even eat. Nico and I officially became a couple. We’re boyfriends. It felt weird saying that, but at the same time, I couldn’t stop smiling every time I would think about finally becoming Nico’s boyfriend.
“Are you in love?” Mom suddenly asked.
I choked and started coughing. “Mom!” I complained after drinking a glass of water.
“Well, are you?” She asked.
“What made you think that?”
“Ohh, Drew, I’ve been a teenager before too, you know. You can’t eat, you’re in daze, and probably, you won’t be able to sleep tonight as well. Besides, I’m your mother, do you really think I wouldn’t know what’s going on about you?” My Mom said in a loving tone with a little smile.
“I’m not really in love…” I lied. If I admit that I am in fact in love, then Mom would ask me who I am in love with, and I’m afraid that she would find out that I am in love with Nico. I was more afraid that she would find out that Nico was already my boyfriend, and that she wouldn’t approve of it, and that she would tell us to break up.
“Fine… if you’re too shy to talk about it, then I won’t push you. If you need any advice about girls, I can always help you, Drew,” she said and then chuckled.
I sighed.
I’m sorry, Mom, but it’s a boy that I’m in love with, not a girl.
A boy just like me.
A boy that you’ve already met.
I’m sorry, Mom, but I’m in love with Nico.
Dinner was finally over, I went up in my room and laid down on my bed. Mom was spot on, I couldn’t sleep. I just laid there, looking at the ceiling. I kept on replaying in my head the scene where Nico asked me to be his boyfriend, and each time, I would still feel that excitement I felt when it actually happened.
My phone suddenly rang and I almost jumped out of the bed in surprise. My heart skipped when I saw Nico’s name on the screen.
“Hey…” I said shyly.
“Hey,” Nico replied with much more enthusiasm.
“You called…”
“Well, I just wanted to hear my boyfriend’s voice before I sleep,” Nico said. Those words sent me into frenzy. My cheeks burned and my heart raced. If Nico could see my face, I’m sure he wouldn’t stop teasing me about it.
“How cheesy…” I said, hiding my excitement.
“Come on…” Nico said. “I know you like it…”
I chuckled. “Well, I do…” I admitted and Nico chuckled as well.
“Hey, don’t make any plans tomorrow, alright. I have a surprise for you after school,” Nico said excitedly.
“Really? What kind of surprise?” I asked excitedly.
“I’m not going to ruin the surprise, just look forward to it,” Nico said.
“You’re not going to go overboard, are you?” I was worried that Nico might do something over the top, and I just don’t want that. I mean, I’m not used to lavish things, and I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.
“Well…”
“Nico…” I complained.
“Just this once, okay? I just want to do something extra special for my boyfriend.” That word electrified me all over again.
“Fine, just this once,” I said.
“We better sleep now, I don’t want you to feel tired tomorrow,” Nico said. “Good night, Drew. Sweet dreams.”
“Good night, Nico.”
That night, I had one of the best sleep I’ve ever had. Probably because my heart was filled with joy at that moment.
Nico picked me up the next morning. It was nothing new, but for some reason, his smile was even bigger than before. “What are you smiling about?” I asked as Nico opened the door for me.
“Nothing, I’m just excited,” He replied as he walked around his car.
“About what?” I asked when he entered the car.
“Driving you to school.”
“You’re excited about that? It’s not like it’s the first time you’ll be driving me to school you know.”
“Yeah, but it’s the first time I’m going to drive you to school as boyfriends,” He said.
Instantly, my cheeks flushed red, and for some reason, Nico didn’t tease me about it, instead, he just smiled to himself and drove off. The day seemed so slow, maybe because I was really anxious about Nico’s surprise.
I didn’t tell Perry about the development in my relationship with Nico yet, I wanted to enjoy it first without having someone watching us closely. It’s not like I’m trying to hide it form Perry, it’s just that Perry wouldn’t stop talking about it, and I’m not ready for his nagging just yet.
I feel guilty, though, for not telling Brent about Nico and me. I guess I was still afraid that the distance and the changes happening in our lives could change our friendship, that if I told him that I fell in love with another boy, and that same boy is now my boyfriend, that Brent would just chose to stay away from me altogether.
It was after lunch break when David approached me. “Hey, Kyle, do you have a minute?” David asked as I was getting my things form my locker.
“Yeah, sure. What is it?”
“Have you thought about joining the swim team? We really want you,” David said.
I almost forgot about that. I wanted to join, but the last time I talked about it with Nico, he seemed so against it. Maybe it was only because he was jealous at that moment, I guess I’ll have to try to talk to him again. “I really want to, but there’s a lot of things I need to consider first. Can you give me at least until Friday?” I asked.
“Sure, sure,” David said enthusiastically. “I’m really glad that you’re seriously considering it,” David said as he placed a hand on my shoulder. “I really hope we can swim again as a team.” He gave me a tap on the shoulder and then left.
I took the things I needed form my locker and then shut it close. I turned around and saw Nico standing there. His eyes were furrowed and I knew instantly that he saw everything. “Say, what were you doing with David?” He asked seriously as he took a step closer to me. I stepped back and hit the locker. “Why did he touch you again?”
“He was just asking if I wanted to join the swim team.”
“I see, but why did he have to touch you? Can’t he ask you while keeping his hands to himself?” Nico asked impatiently.
“Nico, I really am considering about joining the team, but if you don’t want me to then…”
Nico sighed. “Look, Drew. I know I can be very jealous and overprotective at times, but I’m not selfish enough to stop you from doing what you love. If you really want to join the team, then I’ll support you all the way,” Nico said with a reassuring smile. “Sure, I’ll still hate it when David touches you, but no matter how much he touches you, it wouldn’t change the fact that you are already mine,” Nico said and then smiled.
“Great. Then, I’ll tell David than I can join…” I said and then tried to follow David.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Nico said as he stopped me by holding my arm. “You’ve talked with David enough for this day,” He said. “You can join the swim team, but it doesn’t mean that you can get so close to David,” Nico added.
I sighed. “How childish…” I complained. Nico could be really possessive at times, but I never felt troubled or suffocated by it, I always think that Nico’s adorable whenever he acts like that. I guess it has to do with the way he acts, more often than not, Nico acts like a little boy being possessive with his toys.
Finally the school day ended, and I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t excited about Nico’s surprise, because I really was.
Our first stop was at luxury clothing store. One look and I could tell that it was really expensive. “Nico, what are we doing here?” I asked as we walked inside the store.
“We need a change of clothes,” Nico explained. “Something more formal,” He added.
“I still have the coat and tie you gave me, I could just get that from home,” I explained.
“That’s not good enough. This is a special day, so I want everything to be perfect,” Nico explained.
I looked around the store and noticed that no other customers were there, I didn’t suspect anything weird about it; I just thought that it was probably because of how expensive their clothes are.
“Mister Bellard, this way please,” A saleslady greeted. She leads us to the waiting area of the shop and brought out to boxes of tuxedo. “We’ve tailored it to the sizes you specified.” She said.
“Thank you,” Nico said to the lady. “Let’s get changed, then.” He told me with a smile.
Fighting him would be futile, so I just go on with what he wanted. I entered the dressing room and sighed. “Another expensive coat that I wouldn’t wear again afterwards,” I muttered to myself.
Nico was already done changing when I walked out of the dressing room. He stood up and the smiled as soon as he saw me. “You look really handsome in that coat.” He said and I blushed.
“You look…” I practically froze on my feet after seeing how dashing Nico looked in that suit. “You look perfect.” I said.
Nico looked really amazing, he was so handsome in that coat. I couldn’t take my eyes off him at all, I feel so lucky that to have him as my boyfriend, but at the same time I felt so panicked that I was falling for him deeper and deeper.
“You look way better, Drew.” Nico said as he walked towards me. “Now, all we need to do is to find you a perfect par of leather shoes..” He said.
“Don’t you think this is a bit too much already? I mean, I know you’re loaded and all, but…” I felt guilty for receiving that expensive coat.
“Drew… I want this day to be special, this is our first day as a couple, I want it to be memorable, and I want everything to be perfect,” Nico said as he held my hand. “Stop worrying about anything.”
After making me wear a pair of leather shoes, Nico and I went back to the car. I asked him what those expensive clothes are for, and Nico replied that it was for dinner. I told him that we could’ve just worn what we wore at school, but he said that the dress code for the venue was very strict.
Nico drove to a famous hotel, and I started to understand why we needed to wear such expensive clothes, if I went to that hotel wearing my normal clothes, then I would surely stick-out like a sore thumb.
I was expecting Nico to bring me to the hotel restaurant, but I guess he had other plans. It became really weird when I saw signs pointing to the indoor pool along our way. “You said were going to eat dinner, but why are we on our way to the pool?” I asked Nico.
“Relax,” Nico said and squeezed my hand tighter. “It’s a surprise.”
The whole time, Nico was holding my and. During the drive, when we entered the hotel, even while we’re walking towards our destination. I asked Nico if he wasn’t worried or afraid that someone we know might see us, but he said that he it doesn’t matter, because that day was about us, only us.
Hearing those words lifted the worry and fear that I was feeling. With Nico with me, I felt really safe, really confident, and really content.
Between the two of us, Nico is the stronger one, he always seem to have the answers to all of my worries, to all of my fears.
Nico’s strong.
With his strength, I can love freely.
I can love with little worry.
With his strength, I, also, gain strength.
“Here we are.” Nico said as we stopped in front of the huge doors of the hotel’s indoor pool.
“Are we really going to eat dinner on the pool?” I asked confusedly.
“You’ll like my surprise, I promise,” Nico said and then opened the door.
What I saw inside the pool was simply unbelievable. The whole room was decorated with red and white balloons, the floor was filled with rose petals, and the pool itself, it was… unbelievable.
In the middle of the pool was a table set-up for two. The table was seemingly floating on the water, and around it, all over the pool, were hundreds of petals of red roses and white calla lilies. The table sits on top of a glass platform, and the walkway to it was made of the same thing. Along the path – the glass hidden underwater – were candles lined up leading to the table.
I was utterly speechless. I don’t even know what to say. The whole place was damn beautiful. I don’t even know if the words I used were enough to describe how surreal everything was to me. I can’t even… I don’t even know how he came up with such a set-up.
“What do you think…?” Nico asked nervously.
“I don’t… What…? How did you even…? Oh my goodness… Damn…” I muttered.
“I guess that means that you like it,” Nico chuckled. “Wait here,” He said and then went somewhere. I was still staring at the table in the middle of the pool, I was still in a state of disbelief, so I don’t know exactly where Nico went. “Here, for you,” Nico said and then handed me a bouquet of dozens of white calla lilies.
I smiled as I took the bouquet from him. White calla lilies are special to me, since it was the very first gift that Nico gave me.
“They really suit you,” Nico said with a gentle smile on his face.
“Did you buy this from our shop?” I asked jokingly.
“Where else would I get such beautiful flowers?” Nico replied and we both chuckled.
“Shall we eat dinner, then?” He asked and then started taking off his socks and shoes.
“If only I knew that we’re going to eat here, then I wouldn’t have accepted this shoes and clothes,” I told him as I took my shoes and socks off as well.
“I knew you’re going to say that,” Nico said with a chuckle. “That’s why I kept this a secret,” He added. “Shall we?” He asked as he offered me his hand.
I took his hand and Nico led me to the pool. I hesitated stepping on the hidden glass platform at first, I didn’t think that it would hold our weight, but Nico stepped on it first and showed me that it would be fine.
Sitting at that table that was seemingly floating on the water felt really different. It felt weird and yet somehow satisfying at the same time. After serving each meal, the waiter would leave us and we would have the whole room all to ourselves.
I liked it better that way, no band playing music for us, no eyes watching us, and no one else but us. I love spending time with Nico, I really do.
Nico reached for my hand across the table and held it tight. “You are the best thing that happened in my life, Drew, and I would do everything and anything to keep you by my side,” Nico said. “I’ll make every day of your life as happy as I can.”
“Having you by my side is more than enough,” I told Nico as I smiled at him.
“You know the best part of having dinner on the pool?” Nico asked as he slowly took of his coat. I figured out what he was trying to say. “It’s that you can just jump in the water afterwards,” He said and then took off his shirt and pants and then jumped right into the water.
That idea was probably the best Nico ever had. I took off my clothes as well and jumped right into the water. “This feels great…” I said as I made my way beside Nico. “This is really great, Nico. Thank you,” I said with a smile.
“Anything for you, Drew,” Nico said and then held me on the waist and then pulled me closer. Nico then moved in front of me and put his other hand on my waist as well, then slowly, he moved his hands around my waist and embraced me. “Let’s stay like this for a while, okay,” Nico said.
“Okay…” I said in a gentle tone as I rested my head on Nico’s chest.
“Drew…” Nico muttered after a few minutes. “We’ll stay together right? No matter what happens?” Nico asked as he looked at me. “You’ll stay with me, right?”
I was surprised to hear Nico asked that. All this time, I thought that I was the only one having those fears, those doubts, but I guess Nico was the same. “I’ll stay with you, Nico, as long as you want me to, now that I have you in my life, I couldn’t imagine it without you,” Nico smiled after hearing my reply, he pulled me closer to him and then held my cheeks.
His hands were warm against my cold cheeks.
Slowly, Nico moved closer.
Slowly, my heart beat faster.
And slowly, our lips touched and parted.
That kiss, was something that I would never forget.
We stayed in that pool for a few hours, it was so beautiful that leaving was really difficult for me. “We could to this again, if you want,” Nico said as he drove me home.
“No, that was too lavish for me. Doing it once is more than enough for me,” I told him with a smile. “Besides, I can just swim at your home, right?”
“You can come over anytime you want,” Nico said and then held my hand.
Nico dropped me off in front of my home, we exchanged goodnights, and kissed each other before I got out of the car. That night I was really happy, I felt so secure that Nico’s feelings for me were that strong. Hopefully, one day, Nico’s feelings for me would be as strong as my feelings for him, that one day, he would find himself loving me.
I guess I was on cloud nine that night that I didn’t expect things would turn out the way they did. Suddenly, I find myself in front of a mystery unravelling itself.
The first thing that greeted me when I entered the front door was the name of my Dad being uttered by my Mom. “Daniel,” Mom said. I was surprised to hear her say Dad’s name, but what surprised me even more was the fact that she was talking to him over the phone. “I know, this is hard, but Drew is turning eighteen soon. We promised Joseph that we would tell Drew the truth then, Daniel, I know it’s hard, but it’s the right thing to do. I know, I’m also not sure if it’s for the best, but Drew deserves to know the truth.” Mom then hanged up the phone, and I stayed frozen on my feet.
“Mom…?” I muttered, still in a state of shock.
“Drew! How long have you been there?” Mom was obviously surprised as well.
“That’s Dad, right? Why were you talking to him? I thought, I thought, you stopped contacting each other…” My voice was very shaky.
“Drew…” Mom said. “It’s not the right time.”
“Mom, please…” I pleaded. “I’m tired of all these secrets. Who is Joseph? What’s inside the box he gave me? Why are you talking to Dad over the phone? What were you talking about? What do I have to know?”
“Drew, please, not now,” Mom replied.
“No, Mom, I need to know now,” I insisted.
“This is not the right time and place, Drew,” Mom insisted as well. I can see on her face that Mom was having a hard time as well. Whatever it is that she was hiding from, it must be weighing on her as well.
“Fine, Mom. I won’t force you anymore,” I said. “Answer me this, instead; four years ago, did I really disappear on the lake?” I asked.
I saw my Mom’s eyes widened, and I could tell that I hit the nail on the head.
“Where did you hear that from?” My Mom’s voice was shaky.
“It’s not important Mom. Please, Mom, I won’t force you to tell me anything about Joseph, the box, or Dad, but please, Mom, tell me about what happened to me four years ago. Mom… please…” I pleaded.
Mom closed her eyes and sighed. “Sit here, Drew…” She said as she sat down on the couch. “I’m going to tell you everything that I know, but you have to keep your promise, you won’t ask any more questions about Joseph, your Dad, or the box.”
“I promise,” I said. One revelation at a time, that’s all I could handle anyway. One thing bothers me though, if Mom was willing to reveal a secret she kept from me for four years ago just to make me stop asking about Joseph, then it must mean that what Joseph wants to tell me is something even bigger, even more sensitive. That fact scares me.
“You’ve always loved swimming in that lake, even when you’re still very young. I’ve told you this many times before, but you could swim even before you could run properly. Four years ago, you asked me and your Dad if you could swim in that lake that night. The moon was full that night. We gave you permission right away, you always swim there, even at night, so we weren’t worried. Usually, you would be gone for an hour or two, but four hours passed, and still you didn’t come home. Your Dad and I went looking for you, we went to the lake but find no traces of you there. I was so worried, Drew, your Dad and I couldn’t even sleep that night. The morning came, and still there were no trace of you. We reported what happened to the police, and they searched the whole town. Even everyone in town helped in looking for you. They found no clue. They couldn’t find you. You’ve drowned, that’s the police’s conclusion. Your Dad and I refused to believe them. They tried diving in the lake to find your body, but they found nothing, not even a piece of cloth that belonged to you.”
Mom paused and the whole room was filled with utter silence.
“A week passed. Everyone in town gave up on looking for you. Your Dad and I were utterly devastated. We were slowly losing hope. There were no nights that we were not praying that we could find you, that you’d come back home. We couldn’t sleep, we couldn’t eat, and we couldn’t do anything, Drew. Then one night, your Dad and I were on the living room, we were trying to convince ourselves to accept the fact that you’re gone, then our front door opened, and you walked in all wet, wearing the same clothes that you were wearing when you went to the lake a week before. We were surprised, Drew, we were really happy to see you. Your Dad instantly went to you and embraced you, and I started crying, but do you know what you said? You said ‘What’s wrong with the two of you? I just took a swim at the lake for a few hours, no need to be over dramatic.’ You were gone a week, Drew, but you thought that you were just gone for a few hours. You have memories of what happened to you the week that you were gone. To you, only a few hours passed by. That’s why your Dad came up with the idea of pretending that nothing happened, we talked to the whole town, to the police; to never let you know about what happened. We thought that it was the best for you, we didn’t want to pressure you over something you couldn’t even remember. That’s everything I know, Drew, everything.”
After hearing everything from my Mom, my mind felt really heavy. It was too much too handle, to take in all at once. I got one answer but many more questions appeared in return.
What happened to me during that one week that I was gone? Where did I go? Why couldn’t anyone find me? Why couldn’t I remember anything?
That moment, I felt so lost. I couldn’t even think straight.
I was lost for words.
I was lost for thought.
I was… lost.
I thought that I would never feel lost again, since Nico is finally with me, but what my Mom revealed was simply so unbelievable, so improbable that even love couldn’t help me that easily. I was in a maze, and even with love, I could still not find the way out.
Even with love, I was very lost.
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