Life Sucks and Then You Die (boyxboy) – Secrets and Bathroom Stalls – Read boyxboy Novel Online Free
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Life Sucks and Then You Die (boyxboy) - Secrets and Bathroom Stalls

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If you’ve been reading the past few chapters recently, you probably know that I started this story a few years ago and am now going back and editing/rewriting the old chapters and plan to add new ones soon. If you’ve been reading this story since before 2019, please tell me in the comments. That’d be so cool. Enjoy!

Chapter Four

ETHAN’S POV:

It’s 6:30am on Monday and I’m getting ready for school. I change into dark jeans and a striped sweatshirt. I brush my hair to the side and put on deodorant. I brush my teeth and slip on my black sneakers. I read the text from Greyson, “Hey, kid. Are we still walking together?” I hesitate only a second before replying. “Yeah, of course,” I tell him. “And you’re only two months older than me!” I add. “Cool. I’ll meet you at your house in five?” He sends. “And respect your elders.” He says shortly after. “Sure,” I send. “Whatever you say, old man.” I throw in. I grab my bag from my room and head downstairs. I toss a water bottle and my house keys into my backpack and sling it over my shoulder before leaving my house and sitting on my front steps to wait for Greys.

He arrives shortly after that, wearing a black band t-shirt (as in a T-shirt with a band name on it, not like marching band), black skinny jeans, and a black beanie over his straightened hair. He offers me a hand and pulls me to my feet. “You ready?” He asks. “Yep,” I smile and we begin walking down the street. We share a seemingly comfortable silence as thoughts race through my mind. ‘Was I wrong about yesterday?’ ‘Maybe he wasn’t going to kiss me. Or if he was, maybe he’s changed his mind.’ ‘Good. He shouldn’t waste his time on me anyways.’ ‘Maybe I’m just overthinking it all and it was just some prolonged eye-contact.’ ‘Whatever it was, he doesn’t seem nervous at all, so it was probably nothing.’

Greyson breaks my stream of jumbled thoughts with his voice. “So, I was told I’m going to be staying in the guidance office during homeroom to get my schedule and everything. Maybe we’ll have a class or two together”, he speaks. Worries flood my mind and I try my best to ignore them as I give him a smile that’s only half fake and say, “Yeah, that’d be cool.”

We reach the school and I walk him to the guidance office. “Thanks,” he smiles and I return the smile and nod my head. “I’ll see you later, yeah?” he speaks and I nod again and wave before heading to my locker. I gather my belongings for class and shut the locker door. I begin walking to homeroom and run into a girl who’s always really nice to me, named Teya. “Hey Ethan,” she smiles at me sweetly and I wave in return. She walks beside me to homeroom. I try to keep my worries about Greyson in the back of my mind, but they keep flooding to the front. “You alright?” Teya gives me a worried glance. I fake a smile and nod. “You sure?” She asks uncertainly. I nod again. “Alright,” she says hesitantly. Let’s get to class.”

After homeroom, I go to math. I’m pretty good at the subject, so it isn’t too bad of a class for me. After that I have science, then history, then lunch. I almost feel bad about how relieved I am that Greyson wasn’t in any of my first three classes. I go to the back of the library, the spot in which I sit whenever I have free time at school, and pull out a book.  I munch on the food I brought with me as I read (food isn’t allowed in the library, but the librarian loves me, so she always lets it slide). When the end of lunch bell rings, I remain seated. This is my study period, so I get to sit and read for another 45 minutes. After study, I have Spanish. No Greyson there, either. I take my usual seat in English and look around as the late bell rings. No Greyson.

I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my chest. He wasn’t in a single one of my classes. Or so I thought. A few minutes after the late bell rings, Greyson stumbles into the room, looking a bit confused. “Sorry,” he speaks, looking at our substitute teacher. “It’s my first day and I got a bit lost.” I notice everyone staring at him. Most of the girls are clearly admiring him and I begin to feel a bit annoyed and angry. Mrs. Riley, our substitute, smiles at him and says kindly, “Oh, that’s alright, dear. Since it’s your first day.” “What’s your name, honey?” She asks. “Greyson,” he speaks quietly, noticing all the faces on him. I see him relax a bit when his eyes land on me. “Well, Greyson, why don’t you sit down in one of the empty seats and we’ll start our lesson,” Mrs. Riley instructs.

Unsurprisingly, he takes the empty seat next to me. The students are still talking amongst themselves, so Greyson turns to me. “Hey,” he smiles. I smile back. “This school is huge. I got lost like six times already,” he says and I smirk. “Everyone seems nice enough, though,” he speaks. “And at least we have one class together,” he adds happily. I smile at him again, hoping he won’t notice how nervous I am. “You okay?” He asks, raising an eyebrow. I nod and give him my most reassuring fake smile. “You sure?” He pushes, and I’m relieved when Mrs. Riley begins to speak.

“Alright, class,” she begins, “Mr. Nelson isn’t in today, but he left some work for you to do while he’s out.” The majority of the class groans and Mrs. Riley laughs a bit. “It’s nothing too stressful. We’re just reading a chapter of the book you’ve been reading, and answering some questions.” There are a few more groans. “We’re doing it together as a class,” she adds and hardly anyone protests this time. “And there isn’t any homework,” she finishes, earning multiple smiles around the room. “Ah, see? That’s not so bad, is it?” She smiles. “Could everybody please pull out your books?” She asks and we all do as she says. She looks to a slightly confused-looking Greyson and adds, “And if you don’t have a book, you can look on with someone near you.” I pull my seat closer to Greyson’s and put my book in between us on his desk. She hands out a worksheet with a total of ten questions on it. I grin. This is going to be a simple class.

“Alright, then. Let’s begin. Who would like to start reading?” She asks and a girl, Gracie, raises her hand. She’s really smart and loves to read. I smile. She’s very sweet and I love how well she reads aloud. She gives stories really great character. “Alright then. Go ahead, dear,” Mrs. Riley encourages and Gracie reads the first few pages before Mrs. Riley stops her and goes over the first three questions. “Okay. Who would like to read next?” Gracie, once again, is the only one to raise her hand. “Alright, go ahead,” Mrs. Riley gives in. Gracie reads another several pages before being stopped again to go over the next five questions.

“Okay,” Mrs. Riley starts, “There are only…” she quickly flips through the book before continuing, “four pages left in the chapter. Let’s have someone else read.” She waits a few seconds before speaking again. “Come on, she encourages. “Somebody raise their hand. It’s four pages,” she pushes. There are ten minutes left in the day and everybody seems tired and bored. Nobody raises their hand. “Don’t make me start calling on people,” she threatens, earning a few laughs but still no raised hands. “Fine,” she says, “How about…” She glances around the room until her eyes land on me. “You, in the back corner there. In the stripes.” All heads turn to look at me and I begin to panic. I see all their odd facial expressions. I know what they’re all thinking; ‘She doesn’t know. Isn’t anyone going to tell her?’

‘Nonononononono,’ I think. My leg starts bouncing up and down and my breathing becomes shaky. This can’t be happening. This isn’t happening. I try my best to look calm as I shake my head no, hoping she’ll except my polite decline to her offer. “Go on now, don’t be shy,” she smiles and Greyson gives me an encouraging look. I shake my head again, praying that she’ll just drop it and pick someone else. “Oh, come on. Why not?” She asks and I look down, my whole body shaking now, my breathing shallow and fast and my eyes beginning to sting with tears. This can’t be happening. I subconsciously begin scratching at my left arm. My eyes, slightly blurry, are glued to my desk. Finally, somebody speaks up. “Mrs. Riley,” it’s Gracie. “Ethan doesn’t speak,” she tells her. “Oh,” Mrs. Riley seems taken aback slightly. “Oh. Alright then. Sorry. How about you just finish then,” she speaks, clearly a bit embarrassed.

Gracie continues the reading and my body is still shaking. I can feel Greyson’s gaze burning into my side but I refuse to look up at him. My eyes begin to spill over with tears and I quickly stand from my seat and rush out of the room, down the hall, and into the nearest bathroom. I run to the end stall and burst inside. I lock the door and sit in the corner on the floor with my knees pulled tight against my chest. I bury my face in my arms and sob violently, my whole body shaking.

GREYSON’S POV:

“How about…” Mrs. Riley glances around the room and looks to Ethan. “You, in the back corner there. With the stripes.” My eyes, like those of everyone else in the class, go to Ethan. His face goes pale and he looks terrified. I see him attempt to regain his composure as he shakes his head no, trying to be polite, but clearly uncomfortable with the idea of reading to the class. The substitute keeps pushing him and I give him my most reassuring smile, hoping to encourage him. He seems even more uncomfortable and shakes his head again. Mrs. Riley keeps pressing him and I’m about to volunteer to read, since he’s clearly uncomfortable, when a girl begins to speak. “Mrs. Riley”, she starts, “Ethan doesn’t speak.” My eyebrows twist in confusion. What does she mean? Of course he speaks. He talks to me all the time. Maybe she just meant that he doesn’t like to speak in front of large groups? I send a look to Ethan, hoping for him to clear up my confusion and I notice he’s avoiding my gaze. I can see he’s shaky and looks like he might be crying. I go to put a hand on his shoulder when he bursts out of his seat and rushes out of the classroom. Everyone looks to the door where Ethan had just run out and I look to Mrs. Riley. “Can I go make sure he’s okay?” I ask her. “He’s my friend,” I add. She hesitates a moment before nodding and telling the class to settle down and for the girl to continue reading.

I hurry down the hall in the direction I saw him go and see a bathroom door a few rooms down. I open the door and walk inside. I hear someone crying and I speak. “Ethan?” The crying abruptly stops. “Is that you?” I ask. I can hear his shaky breaths and I know it’s him, probably hoping for me to go away. “Come on, E,” I try to encourage him. “Please come out,” I plead. I hear his shaky breathing but no movement. I push open the doors to all the unlocked stalls, which is all but the last one, the one he is in. “No one else is in here. It’s just us,” I tell him. “Come on, please?” I try again. “We don’t even have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” I add. “Please, Ethan. Please just come out.” I’m beginning to feel desperate now. I’m leaning against the wall in front of the stall he’s in and I slump down with my knees bent in front of me.

“Ethan,” I beg quietly, “Please, please come out. Please.” I sigh. “Ethan.” Nothing. “E.” I hear him shuffle slightly. I smirk to myself, “E-Man.” This gets a soft, broken chuckle. “There’s that beautiful laugh,” I smile. “Now, where’s the beautiful boy that made it?” I try, really hoping this will work. I don’t know what else to do. There’s complete silence for almost a full minute. And then, the click of a door being unlocked. The door doesn’t open and he doesn’t come out, but he did unlock it. I smile. “Thank you,” I say and I stand, open the door, and enter the stall. Ethan is slumped against the wall, sitting on the floor, looking completely broken. His face is red and tear-stained, and his sleeves are wet from crying into them. I lock the stall door and slide down against the wall opposite him, not wanting to push my boundaries.

He won’t look at me, but I’m looking at him, just wanting to hold him in my arms and fix the boy who appears to be falling apart in front of me. “E,” I try again, “Please talk to me,” I beg in the most desperate, almost pitiful voice I’ve ever spoken in. I think he realizes that I am actually begging him now and he looks up at me. I feel a pang in my chest when I see his shattered face. “Ethan, what’s wrong?” I plead, hoping for some sort of explanation. Finally he speaks, his voice is broken and cracks a few times, but he speaks nonetheless. “Didn’t you hear Gracie?” He asks rhetorically. “Now you know,” he adds. “I’m not sure I do,” I speak slowly, confused. “What did she mean, you don’t talk? You’re talking right now,” I say, still not fully understanding exactly what had happened in that classroom.

Ethan sighs and looks at me again. “You’re the first person I’ve spoken to since I was 12,” he admits, making my eyes widen and only causing me further confusion. “You… Haven’t spoken in five years?” I ask, completely dumbfounded. “Well, that’s not completely true,” he tells me, “I stopped talking when I was 12, like I said. But a few months ago, when Ellie was born, there would be times when I was alone with her and she would just cry and cry and there would be nothing wrong. I tried everything. I fed her, I changed her, I held her, I rocked her, but nothing seemed to work. Until finally, I decided she was special. I tried talking a bit first, since my voice was kind of rusty from not being used for so long. But even when my voice wasn’t the best, I sang to her. It was the only thing that calmed her down. So every time I babysat her from then on, I would sing to her, slowly repairing my singing voice until it sounded like it used to. It’s gotten to the point that when my mom can’t calm her down, she leaves the house with my step-father for about an hour or so and I sing to Ellie until she’s asleep. My parents don’t know what I do, they just know that it works. So yeah, you’re technically the second person I’ve verbally spoken to in almost five years,” he finishes.

“Wow,” I say, completely speechless. I look at him for a while before speaking again. “So… Why me?” I ask him. “Why, after staying silent around everyone aside from Ellie, would you speak to me, a total stranger?” I ask, unable to think of a single reason myself. “Well,” he starts, “When I started singing to Ellie, I started thinking that maybe I was ready to talk again. I thought that maybe I could start talking just a little at a time and then eventually go back to speaking normally again. But it was just too hard. I couldn’t do it. Every time I tried, I froze up. So eventually, I decided it didn’t matter. Ellie would be the only one allowed to hear my voice. But that day, when I was…” His voice trails off and I notice him flinch a bit before he continues. “The day we met, I guess I was just so caught up in everything else that was going on, that I decided what the hell, you know? What should it matter if one stranger hears my voice? It’s not like I’ll ever see him again,” he speaks and smiles a bit toward the end of the sentence. “Little did you know, you’d get stuck with me,” I tease and he laughs, making me smile brightly. “God, I love that sound,” I say, my eyes widening as I realize that I’d said it aloud. He giggles a bit, walking over to me, and takes a seat beside me. “Oh, Greyson, you flatter me,” he laughs and I join him.

I place an arm cautiously around his shoulder, and pull it back right away when I notice him flinching slightly at the touch. “No, it’s okay,” he pulls my arm back around him. “Really,” he assures me when I hesitate. “It was just unexpected is all.” He gives me a smile and I can’t help but smile back. I place my other hand in his and he leans his head against my shoulder. I’m rubbing circles on his hand with my thumb and listening to his calm, quiet breaths. Without thinking, I place a soft kiss on the top of his head. He sits up and looks at me, smiling. I wonder then if he knows how beautiful he really is. His sparkling blue eyes, his soft brown hair, his perfect smile. How could he not know that he’s gorgeous? Ethan and I are holding an intense stare and I feel as though I can’t help it as I place a hand on his cheek and start leaning in. I see his eyes flutter shut just before mine do and feel his soft lips touch mine. At first, neither of us do anything. We just remain still, our lips simply touching each other. Then his lips begin to move and I smile, kissing back almost immediately. I place one hand on his waist and the other behind his neck and feel his arms go around my shoulders. His fingers run through my hair and I pull him closer, loving every feeling he’s giving me. We are kissing each other hard, almost desperately, like we’ve been waiting for this moment forever. I know I’ve wanted this for a while now, anyway. My breathing is fast and I can tell he’ll need to stop for air soon, too. I pull away and place a soft and gentle kiss on his lips before placing a similar one on his nose, earning a giggle from the gorgeous boy in front of me. “Wow,” he says quietly after getting his breath back. “Yeah,” I agree. “Wow, indeed.” We both laugh at this and I can’t break my smile if I try. Ethan’s still blushing and I find it adorable. I suddenly laugh, causing Ethan to raise an eyebrow. “What?” He asks. “Oh, nothing,” I say smirking, “It’s just that I didn’t imagine our first kiss being in a bathroom stall.” We both laugh and I pull Ethan into my arms, wanting this moment to last forever, but knowing that sadly, there was no way it could.

And that, ladies, gentlemen, and all other lovely folk out there, is a fan-girl worthy moment. So, what did you all think? I’m really trying to make the story better and I hope that I am. Please vote and comment, it would make me a very happy bean.

Look both ways when crossing the street,
A.J.

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