Array
(
[text] =>
that one time troye woke up next to tyler, had seemed to be the last time because the next night troye awkwardly walked to his room after dinner.
on one specific night, troye remembered walking to his room as usual. then resting his head on his pillow as usual. but then he had a nightmare, which was unusual. he hardly has nightmares, so when he woke up he was very frightened. troye quickly grabbed his shawl and walked to tyler’s room. troye stood over tyler’s shoulder, before finally mustering the courage up to ask tyler if he could sleep with him. tyler immediately opened his eyes, and quickly pulled troye into the bed with him. troye finally closed his eyes and let sleep overcome, when tyler wouldn’t stop running his hand through his baby’s hair.
tyler pulled troye closer to his side, fearing if they were any further, he’d lose him. he’d lose him like he lost his mother.
he quickly tried to stop think about his mother. every time he did he ended up making terrible choices, but he couldn’t. his mind raced from the way her eyes looked, and the way the sun made her hair shine. he quickly got up from the bed, and walked towards the bathroom. he flicked on the lights and looked in the mirror. he saw her eyes when he looked into his, and it drove him insane. he slid down the wall and just sat there rock back in forth, while he breathing was irregular. he quickly got up, grabbed the keys and walked out. he drove all through out the city, but when he looked at the passenger side, all he saw was his mother. “just go away, momma!” he yelled, trying to keep his eyes on the road. “why, baby? don’t you love me?” she said, sliding her hand up his thigh, and getting closer. “ye-yeah, but-” and before he could finish, his car went tumbling.
tyler opened his eyes, and looked around. he was still in the car. quickly he got out but had a hard time opening his eyes, since there was daylight. he quickly walked up to the street side, attempting to get a car to stop for him. when one car did, he asked if he could use their phone. they said sure, and he obviously called ariel.
“hello?” she said. “hey, i need some help.” he said. “of course you do.” she replied. he quickly told her the address and thanked the person that let him use their phone.
he quickly sat on the side of the street, and waited. he waited for about an hour, before his usual driver came. once he got in, he leaved over and said, “home, please.” when the car started moving, he couldn’t stop thinking of how’d he explain what happened last night to troye. the car soon came to a stop, and tyler walked in. ariel had a stern look on her face, “what happened?” she said. “it happened again.” he whispered, with his head down. her facial expression soon changed to a sympathetic one. “i’m sorry, sir.” she whispered. “what happened?” troye said, walking in confused. “nothing.” tyler quickly blurted out, as he made his way to his room.
troye stood confused near ariel. “what happened?” he repeated. “why don’t you let him tell you.” she said, quickly smiling. “come now, his arm seems a bit bruised. we should get some warm water running to clean it up.” she said, walking away. troye followed.
troye sat, bandaging tyler’s arm. the silence was awkward. “i got into a car crash.” tyler blurted out. troye looked up at tyler, “why?” he asked. “um- you know what, i think my arm’s fine.” he said trying to pull it away. “stop moving it. if you want me to shut up, i will.” he said, pissed off. tyler felt bad but he knew he couldn’t tell him. “i’m sorry.” tyler whispered. although, troye didn’t say anything.
before tyler could walk away after getting his arm bandaged, troye pulled him into his arms. “it’s alright. you can tell me, when you want to. i won’t rush you, if you’re not comfortable.” he said, playing with tyler’s hair. “thanks for understanding.” tyler said, kissing troye’s lips tenderly. “tyler, i- i love you.” he said, blushing. tyler’s face lit up, and his stomach began to fill with butterflies. “i love you too, troye.”
“thanks for dinner, ariel.” troye said, sending a smile towards her. he began walking to his room but he was stopped by the voice of tyler who insisted he slept with him. troye didn’t complain though, he loved being in the arms of his lover.
later that night when tyler thought troye was sleeping he began to speak. “my mother was very beautiful. everyone loved her, she was just this very charismatic person. you would’ve liked her, but she would’ve hated you. mainly because, i love you, the way she loved me. she thought that my first kiss should be with someone i love, so she gave me it. she thought that, i should have sex with someone i love, so she raped me. i feel like she had good intentions, but carried them out in the wrong way. she was an amazing person, though. people make mistakes, it’s alright. i just wish i had the courage to tell her then, to stop. that i didn’t want to be fucked my mom. it started when i was like 8, and just continued, till she died. when she died, i felt this sense of relief. and then, i’d feel guilty. it was like this cycle of i’m finally free, then how dare you think that of her. those outbursts were worse then, there was even this one time where ariel said, she found me hanging in my room. it’s not like i remember though, i hardly remember them. ariel was with me through all everything. she used to work for our family since i was a baby. after mother, would ‘give me love’, i’d run to her. there were many times ariel was almost fired because mother thought i liked ariel more than her. and in truth, i do. ariel wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt me.” he finally quieted down and closed his eyes. when he fell asleep, troye opened his eyes, and kissed tyler’s forehead.
who knew someone that seemed so strong and dominant had such a harsh past. it was true, when people said the phrase; ‘don’t judge a book by its cover.’
[text_hash] => 518f24da
)