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A/N: And that’s Davin Dan ladies and gentleman! ↑ of course though you can imagine him however you want. I just saw this picture and I thought of him, so yeah.
I woke up sweating and breathing heavily, my heart beating ten times faster then it should. “Holy shit.” I whispered to myself.
“Holy fucking shit.” I said again, louder.
I was trying to calm myself down before I’d get a panic attack .
I looked around and saw I woke up a few minutes before the alarm would go off.
I didn’t even try to go back to sleep if that was the case, not that I could’ve anyway. Not after that.. that nightmare.
I got out of bed and quickly got dressed before I grabbed my backpack and run down the stairs to the kitchen.
My mum was already there, reading the newspaper, “Morning sweetie,” she greeted and spared me a glance.
“Morning,” I mumbled and opened the fridge to look for a drink.
“Hanging out with Taylor today?” She tried her best so that the question would sound casual, but failed badly.
“No mum. We don’t ‘hang out’, he simply stops here every now and then.” I argued and took out a battle of coke, neh. Who cares about health.
“Oh sure hun. Whatever helps you sleep at night.” She said sarcastically and raised her eyebrows when she saw the coke in my hands, but didn’t comment.
“Mum. Stop that. Me and Taylor are never gonna be a thing. All of you, just stop it, okay? I love Mark so please just drop it. Stop pushing me! I’m not ready yet!” I miserably screamed the last part, I just couldn’t take it anymore. First the nightmare now my mum.
They all just needed to chill the fuck out. I’ll move on,when I’ll decide to, if I decide to.
I half waited for my mum to scream at me like she did yesterday, but it never came.
Something worse did though.
She looked at me, trying hard to hide it, but it was still there;
Disappointment.
I shook my head at that and ditched the coke on the table grabbing my car keys and drove away.
I hated it that I was pushed to do things I didn’t want to.
I shook my head again, trying to get rid of those thoughts. it doesn’t matter anymore.
I thought a little about the horrible nightmare I had, and what does it even mean.
I have had dreams like this before, but this one was slightly different.
In this dream, just like the once I used to have, I was holding Mark. But there was no blood. There was no car.
Instead, there he was, perfectly fine in my arms,smiling up at me.
“You’re beautiful, you know that?”
I leaned down to kiss him, mumbling something myself, but I couldn’t remember what exactly was it.
When I break the kiss, Mark’s gone. Instead, Taylor’s there.
He gets up, and leaves.
In my dream, I started to cry and panic. Which caused me to wake up.
×××
Tanner comes up to me as soon as I open my locker, “Hey..” He mumbles, as if checking if I’m in a good mood to talk to.
“Hey,” I fake a smile for him and he calms down visibly.
“Look about that thing I wanted to tell you, my mum went trough my stuff the other day, and she found a bunch of clothes that weren’t mine, when she asked me about them I realized they were Mark’s, and since I never see Taylor…” He looks at me hoping I’ll understand. Everyone knew that talking around me about Mark was like walking on egg shells. I didn’t like that, the look they gave, full of pity.
“Sure, I’ll take them.”
He smiles in relief, “okay great, they’re at my house, mind coming to get them? There’s too many for me to bring them to school.”
“Yeah no problem. I’ll give you a lift, too since I have my car with me.”
“Thanks!” He nodded and walked away.
My smile faded away, it would’ve had been nice if he stayed to talk and not just walk away like that. But what was I thinking… I never was fun to talk to, I was so awkward. I laughed a little at myself and walked away.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I took it out,checking the text I just got.
From: Taylor Manuel
I won’t make it today, but keep your promise. I’ll be asking your mum later.
I shook my head at the text, today was the third day in a raw that he couldn’t make it.
But I did keep my promise. I ate. Well not as much as I do when Taylor’s around, but still.
I did gain some weight, not much though. Since even with Taylor I still wouldn’t eat a whole meal.
I headed to my next class which was History, and our teacher handed us paperwork, telling us to find a partner. I hated when the teacher didn’t just assign us who to work with, cause then I always ended up alone. I hated looking like a loner.
To my surprise, Tanner got up from his group of friends who were laughing and fighting who’ll work with who, and came over to me.
“Wanna work with me?” He smiled and I could see all his perfect white teeth.
Well not exactly perfect, he has one chipped tooth in front, from that one time when Jacob made fun of me and Mark, and Tanner went all crazy.
I was going to say no, but instead I smiled at the memory and agreed, even though I knew he only asked me out of pity.
As we worked I realize that Tanner is one of the smartest people I’ve met. The teacher smiled proudly at Tanner when we handed in out work, and looked at me suspicious, as if wondering if I was just using Tanner for his answers. Knowing that I’m not the brightest in class.
“Good job. You’re dismissed for the rest of the class.”
We both grabbed our bags and headed outside to the parking lot.
“Sweet!” He smiled at my car like an idiot.
“You’re a car freak?” I ask and get in, Tanner following me .
“You bet! I wish I could have my own car already.” He pouted a little but quickly recovered looking at my car from the inside, touching everything he could put his fingers on.
I laughed at how cute that was and started to drive, Tanner telling me every now and then to make a right or a left.
“MUM I’M HOME!” he shouted a little too load, and I winced.
“Here honey!” A feminine voice called from the kitchen, as we entered his mums were sitting at the table reading some article in a newspaper together.
“Hey darling,” his other mum called.
Tanner had this trick that he called Rose mum, and Tress Mother, to save the confusion.
“Hello mother dear. Here’s Davin, he came here to pick Mark’s clothing!” He says happily hugging his mother, while his mum got up to greet me, “well hello there Devin! We haven’t seen you in quite some time,” I waited for the look full of pity that I usually get from people who know my story, but it never came.
“Hey to you too Rose..” I mumbled unsure of what else to say.
“Okay come! I’ll hand you the things!” Tanner grabbed my sleeve and dragged me up stairs to his room.
“Here!” He handed me a small box that was on his desk and I grabbed it, making a mantel note to look inside later.
“Thanks..” I mumble felling awkward again, “wanna stay for dinner?” He asked to my surprise, “yeah sure.” I smiled a little, it was nice of him to ask, I felt guilty to say no.
“MOTHER DEVIN IS STAYING FOR DIN-“
“For fuck’s sake, STOP YELLING I CAN HEAR YOU PERFECTLY FINE BOY.” his mother replied and Tanner chuckled.
“Wanna watch a movie?” He went to his TV and turned on on Netflix.
“Sure,”
We both sat on his bed, me a few feet away, and watched “Kick-ass 2” together, laughing occasionally and having a good time.
By the end of the movie neither of us got up to turn off the TV or turn on the light, we both lazily stared at the names on the screen and I smiled sadly to myself, I missed Mark so much. He loved kickass.
“Mark was so exited for this movie to come out…” Tanner whispered so low I barely heard him.
“Yeah..” I mumbled.
“You still miss him, don’t you?” He whispered again and turned around to face me, but I just looked down at my hands.
“Don’t you?” I answer.
“Every now and then,” and then louder, “you move on at some point.” He sighed and got up.
“DINNER BOYS!” His mum shouts.
“AND THEN YOU TELL ME NOT TO SHOUT!” Tanner answered.
“THAT WAS YOUR MOTHER, YOU INSENSITIVE SON! CAN’T EVEN TELL THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN HIS MUMS!” His mother called and Tanner scuffed.
“Pff whatever women.” He mumbled to himself and we both went down stairs.
We talked casually through dinner, and Tanner didn’t mention anything about what we talked about earlier in his room.
“It was so nice having you!” His mum smiled and gave my almost full plate a worried look, obviously not liking my diet, but didn’t say a thing.
“Yeah! Thank you very much.” I said happily, I actually had fun for once.
“Mum, you’re gay. Stop eye raping him.” Tanner said to his mum when he noticed her looking at me up and down.
She was just looking at how skinny I am.
“Shut up Tanner. Mother will kill both of us at this rate.” She frowned jokingly at Tanner who chuckled.
“I’m right here you know.” His mother folded her arms on her chest. They all laughed and I joined.
“Oh, Devin honey, wanna stay the night? We have a extra bed in Tanner’s room,” his mum offered after mother finished pulling at her hair and stepping on her feet for “checking me out”.
“Uh…” I didn’t know what to say, should I really stay?
“I’ll ask my dad,” I finally say and they all nod, I tried to hide a smile and looked down at my phone, they were all watching me and it was actually funny more then awkward.
As soon as I open my phone I see 3 unread messages.
From: Dad
Where are you?
From: Dad
Text me when you can.
From: Taylor Manuel
Change in plans, my parents aren’t home for tonight, wanna come?
I quickly reply my dad that I’d be sleeping at a friend’s house tonight, and glared at Taylor’s message, not knowing what to chose.
Should I stay at Tanner’s or just go over to Taylor? Which, I haven’t seen in awhile…
I sigh and looked up at the family which was now fighting over that last pizza, “IT’S MINE BITCHES!” Tanner screamed and pulled the box in his direction.
I laughed and shook my head, turning back to my phone;
To: Taylor Manuel
Can’t.
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