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Ashad had only been talking to Ella for about a month before he decided to pluck up his courage and ask her out. Sure, she’d said she was gay and he’d never seen her take any interest in guys, but what would it hurt to ask? He figured it would help him put any remaining hope to rest.
So he had invited her out for a day at an amusement park. Ashad had been surprised that she seemed so excited to go out with him — that was, until she asked whether she could invite her brother Jeremy and some friends.
“I just want it to be the two of us,” he’d said, hoping he wouldn’t offend her.
“Oh.” Ella had looked confused, standing in front of their maths classroom. “Okay,” she agreed after a pause.
The two spent hours on the rides and chatting amicably in the time they waited in the queues. In the afternoon they had bought ice cream and found a place to sit in the shade. Ashad had felt a blissful weariness come over his body in the warm air. “Will you go out with me?” he’d asked suddenly. Time had seemed to hold still as he waited for her to respond.
Ella’s eyes had slowly turned from the scenery to focus on his face. He remembered how her perfect mouth had been slightly open and her elegant eyebrows had been furrowed. As though she couldn’t believe what she’d just heard, she had asked him what he’d just said.
“Will you—will you go out with me?” Ashad had repeated, less sure of himself. She was going to reject him, for sure. At that point he could’ve hoped only that she wouldn’t make a scene.
“I can’t go out with you.” It had been painful to see her face look so deeply apologetic. “You know I can’t. I don’t see you like that.”
Ashad had nodded. “I know. I just… I didn’t want to regret not asking, if that makes sense.”
“Yeah.” Ella had sighed. “I don’t want to sound cliché, but I really do love having you around as a friend.”
“I get it.” But her refusal had still hurt him, and more than he’d expected. “Let’s stay friends.”
And so, even when it had been two weeks since that awkward afternoon, Ashad found himself recalling it with discomfort. Ella didn’t seem to want to hang out alone with him anymore, even though she acted normally when all of their friends were around them. However, a change had come over her during the last few weeks, even before he’d asked her out. The Ella that Ashad had become interested in was the quiet, introverted girl that had become his friend after being victimized by the bullies in their English class. It was as though an entirely different personality had taken over Ella’s body; now she was a bright, talkative extrovert who had made a number of new friends since he’d met her.
Her twin brother Jeremy, on the other hand, was the meek one. He found it hard to stand up for himself, and preferred to sit quietly and draw than to socialize with a large group of people. It was that sensitive, contemplative part of Ella that Ashad had liked, he realised. If only Jeremy was a girl, Ashad thought. He registered how strange that sounded and began looking for a way to distract himself.
Ashad sprawled on his bed, basking in a patch of early winter sunlight. He grabbed his phone and opened Facebook Messenger, loading the group chat that included himself, Ella, Jeremy, Ashad’s good friend Toby, and Cassidy, a girl Ella had met in her music class.
1:19pm
Ashad: Hey, does anyone want to go out this weekend?
He waited a couple of minutes before he received a response.
1:21pm
Jeremy: Sure, I’m not doing anything.
Cassidy: I’m so bored, I’d love to! Where do you want to go?
Ashad: The movies? Laser tag?
Toby: LASER TAG PLS
Ashad laughed to himself. Toby was a big player of first person shooter video games, so Ashad wasn’t surprised that he’d jump at a chance to do it in real life with laser guns.
1:22pm
Ella: sounds awesome, can we go tomorrow?
Ashad swallowed. He really wanted to see her, but they’d barely talked in two weeks. Maybe he’d just have to give up on her until she could act normally around him again. He sighed, slamming his head into his pillow in frustration.
1:24pm
Ashad: Sure. 6pm?
The group agreed, and Toby promised to invite one of his friends to even out the teams. Ashad dropped his phone onto the carpet, feeling helpless once again.
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