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Joey’s p.o.v.
He kisses my lips gently while caressing my cheek. I moan in delight. I wrap my hands around his neck as I lay down on the bed. I’m about to slip his shirt up when he stops me. I sigh as he gets off me and sits down on the bed. “I’m just not in the mood right now..”He says looking away. I know he’s lying, I just don’t know why..
This has been going on for a while now. Ever since he got released from the hospital we’ve been better than ever. There’s no drama between us whatsoever. We’ve been making out on the daily and can’t stand to be apart anymore. The only problem is that whenever things get sexual Jesse backs out and I don’t understand why..
Jesse’s p.o.v.
When I was released from the hospital it seemed Joey and I had been in a good place. He’d broken up with that horrible girlfriend of his and our… ‘friendship’ was great. We.. ‘did stuff’ on the daily, we were better than ever but every time we’re about to take it a step further Joey backs out. Okay.. maybe he doesn’t back out.. maybe I do. It’s just that I’m not sure if I’m ready to be intimate with a man like that. How am I supposed to gently caress his chest and squeeze his breasts if he doesn’t have any? It’s all just so confusing to me. And even if we were to have sex who would do who? What if Joey doesn’t want to be taken? Do you even know why they call it that? Being taken? Because the thing being taken from you is your masculinity, that’s why. Now I don’t know about Joey but I’m a man. A full man. Just because I like to ‘do stuff’ with Joey sometimes doesn’t make me a girl. Or a sissy. Or a fag. .. I hope. In these situations there’s only one thing I can do..
“Michelle!”I yell as I walk into the kitchen. I see Danny grabbing something out of the fridge. “Hey, have you seen Michelle?” I ask. “Yes, she’s in her room wobbling around. I’m so proud of her! She’s finally able to walk, isn’t that adorable? When you were in the hospital we spend so much time trying to teach her to walk and look at her now! It’s become second nature to her! Ugh I-” I walk out of the room before he can go on rambling about Michelle. I’ve been back for two weeks and they already surprised me with it so why does he have to keep rubbing in my face that I wasn’t there to teach her myself? I know I should be happy about her new skill but I just can’t help but feel sad I wasn’t there to witness it all.
I walk into the room to find her running around her bed like an Indian. I smile and watch her for a while leaning against the door post. After a while I pick her up and sit down on a chair with her on my lap. “Michelle, I have a problem I need your help with.” She smiles at me brightly. I’ll take that as her suggesting I should continue. I tell her about my problem leaving out the details but she doesn’t answer. All she does is stare at me confused. I guess there are some things even Michelle doesn’t know the answer to. “Aah, that’s okay munchkin. I guess I’ll have to figure this one out on my own.”
Joey’s p.o.v.
There’s only one way to solve this problem: I have to talk to Jesse about it. I tell you it is kind of a daunting task to complete since Jesse doesn’t like to talk about our relationship but it’s something that has to be done. I open the door to the backyard to find Jesse playing his guitar sitting in the grass. He’s playing ‘love me tender‘ by Elvis Presley. I stare at him. His beauty, his voice. He looks absolutely wonderful. His shirt is wet because of the sprinklers and the heat, showing off his wonderful body. I walk through the door and sit down next to him in the grass. He smiles at me sweetly. He continues playing his guitar wonderfully as I rest my head on his shoulder. He looks at me with those wonderful eyes as he continues to serenade me. I smile at him while enjoying his angelic voice. When he’s finished I kiss him on the cheek. “That was beautiful, Jess.” I say wishing we could just do it right here, right now. Danny and the kids are out anyway. “That’s because I was thinking of you.” I smile but then I remember what I came here for. “We have to talk, Jesse.” “No we don’t.”he says getting ready to play another song. I take his guitar and put it down next to me. I understand that you’re scared to fully give yourself to me but-” I’m cut off by his lips on my mouth. He kisses me passionately grabbing face puling him closer. I give in and kiss him back. He lays me down on the grass and sits on top of me gently slipping his tongue in my mouth. I join him and moan quietly as he slips his hand under my shirt. He feels around my chest circling my nipples with his hand before he jerks my shirt off. I take his off and he lays me back down in the grass. He’s about to unbutton his pants when all of a sudden we hear the doorbell ring. He shoots up “Could that be Danny and the kids? Back already?” he says worried. “No, they have a key remember?” I say trying to get him to calm down. “Well it could be one of the kids, I’ll go check.”He says getting up. I sigh and lay back down in the grass. “Put your shirt on” He says throwing my shirt at my head, leaving me in the garden.
Jesse’s p.o.v.
I open the door and can’t believe my eyes..
“Hi!” She says excited. “Hey…”I say stunned.
After a while of us catching up I finally ask Roxanne, my ex: “So.. what are you doing here? I thought you were touring?” Now, you have to understand that Roxanne Isn’t just any ex. She’s THE ex. We all have that one ex we don’t know why we broke up with and seeing her again makes me feel.. hopeful. Like maybe there’s a chance I’m not really into Joey and I’m not the G-word. She makes me feel things. “I am touring but I decided to take a stop to visit you. The entire tour so far has been great but I was missing something, or rather someone..” She says looking at me with those beautiful eyes I love so much. Maybe I should just.. “I’ve missed you too..” I say leaning in.. Our lips brush against each other and I’m about to kiss her when..”
Joey’s p.o.v.
He’s going to kiss her. I was about to walk in but then I heard a weird silence.. He’s going to kiss her, and I can’t stay here and watch it. I turn around and run into the backyard. I sit down in the grass patch where we just were wanting nothing more than that moment back. Tears stream down my face and I let them fall, unable to hold them back..
Jesse’s p.o.v.
..when I realize.. I don’t want her. Back then everytime my lips were even oe feet within reach of hers I’d get chills but now I feel nothing. Yes, nostalgia. The feeling you get when you think about your last day in hghschool, your first kiss, graduation.. A beautiful memory that you would love to just play over and over again. A memory. The past. What Roxanne and I had was great but, it’s in the past. I feel nowhere near the way I feel with Joey. I pull back and look at the floor. Could it be that I’ve actually fallen in love with Joey? His stupid jokes, His dopey smile, the way he always manages to either make me feel like the happiest person in the world or as annoyed as can be. He always makes me feel something. I lo- “What’s wrong?” I’m taken out of my thoughts by Roxanne’s voice. “What we had.. was wonderful. And I still love you but.. not in the same way as I did before.” I look at her and watch her face fall. “There’s somebody else, isn’t there?” she asks. I smile sympathetically. “I understand..” She gets off the couch. I lead her to the door and just before she goes she says: “Whoever it is.. she is lucky to have you, I hope it works out between you two.” I look away at that and of course she notices she Always knew what i was thinking. “Tell me.” She says seeing the distress on my face. I look up at her, into those honest eyes and before I know it it’s out of my mouth. “It’s not a she..” I wait for her to explode but she doesn’t. She just smiles. “Let him know how much you love him.” She doesn’t understand my struggle. “But.. he’s a man..” I say softly looking at the floor again. “And so are you and a real man shows his emotions, regardless of who he’s showing them to, that’s what masculinity is about.” She gives me a soft kiss on the cheek. “Goodbye, Jesse.” She says and with that, she turns around and walks away.
I stood there paralyzed for at least ten minutes. She was so right. If I’m a real man it doesn’t matter who I sleep with. Being a man is about showing your emotions no matter the situation helping people and being there for them.. how is sleeping with the person that matters to me the most going to change any of that? I smile at how stupid I was before. How did I miss that? I’ve just spend almost a full year now thinking I was a sissy for liking joey when in reality nothing was less true. I am a man. And I’m going to show him that.
One week later…
I’m in a peach tree trying to get a peach out of it. After my big realization last week I told Danny that I thought it would be a good idea if Joey and I went on a small vacation, Danny thought it was a good idea and since was summer break the kids didn’t have to go to school and Danny didn’t have to work so he could stay home with them. Joey didn’t seem all too excited when I told him about it, but whatever, we got here last night and today is certainly going to be special.
Joey’s p.o.v.
I’m sitting in the grass as I watch Jesse try to fetch a peach from a tree. I haven’t mentioned the kiss from last week to him. He’s been acting like nothing happened. Like he didn’t kiss that girl right under my nose. He keeps trying to kiss me and what not but I never allow it. I just don’t wanna be hurt anymore. Originally I didn’t really want to go on this vacation with him but Danny kept pushing so I went anyway. This island is beautiful, I really love it here, I just wish it didn’t feel so bittersweet. After a while Jesse joins me in the grass in the sunlight with two peaches in his hands. “Here, you go.” He says handing me one. “Thanks.” I say looking away sourly. “What’s going on, Joey? You’ve been acting so distant lately.. why is that?” “You really wanna know, Jesse? I saw you with her. You were going to kiss her but I just couldn’t bear to watch it so I left.” Jesse started laughing really hard. “You think this is funny?” I ask outraged. “Yes.. This is why you’ve been so upset? I didn’t kiss her, Joey. I pulled away.” He said smiling softly. “Really?” I ask. “I was going to.. but then I realized I was chasing something that wasn’t there anymore. I didn’t love her anymore.. There’s someone else I so much more for.” He says looking into my eyes which are now filled with tears of joy. He didn’t kiss her.. I lean in and kiss him hard. He grabs my hand and takes me further down the high grass field and pushes me softly onto the ground. He kisses my lips gently..
Jesse’s p.o.v.
I kiss his lips gently while I sit on his lap and move my lower body to our rhythm. I softly moan into his ear. I finally slide my tongue in his mouth and explore. His body is hot and wet from the warm weather. His cheeks are bright pink making him look even hotter. I slowly unbutton my shirt teasingly as he nibbles on my ear. I moan again, a little louder this time. When I’m done removing my shirt I rip his off his body. And kiss his neck softly. “Jesse..” he moans softly while I make my way down. I gently lick his chest and then trace circles around his nipples with my tongue. His breathing and heart beat quickens at that and I know he’s ready for me to continue. I kiss his stomach before pulling away to unzip his pants. I quickly take it off and he helps me take mine off as well. I continue kissing his stomach and make my way down to his penis. I pull down his boxers with my teeth making him moan. I kiss the tip of his length and hear him breath heavily. I teasingly lick it with my tongue before putting his penis in my mouth. He moans loudly I caress his hand while I finally take his full length in my mouth. “Jesse.. I think.. ahh” I continue when I feel a squeeze in my hand meaning he’s going to come. I swallow every bit of him as he comes in my mouth. “Did you like it?” I ask between kisses on his stomach. I make my way up and kiss his lip lustfully. “Now it’s your turn.” he says smiling sweetly. I’m about to lay down in the grass when he stops me and whispers in my ear: “I want you to come inside me..” I kiss him hard and lay him down in the grass. “Are you ready?” I ask holding his hands to the floor. “Yess..” he says looking into my eyes. I gently slip into him making him moan. I continue on and on until I’m fully into him. We pick up the pace there and I’ve never felt better. We move to the rhythm of our moans and I feel Joey squeeze my hand, this time because of the pain and pleasure . I squeeze him back and he nods giving me permission. I finally release inside him letting out a loud moan. I lay down next to him in the grass looking at him. “You’re so beautiful, Joey.. I’m so happy..” I say. He kisses my lips and lays his head on my chest circling my nipple with his finger. “Joey..” “Yes, Jesse?”
“I love you too..”
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