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“I don’t know I heard it was a fight,”
“A fight? With who?”
“Not really a fight more like he got jumped by guys from Mesa High.”
“Damien got jumped?” I eavesdrop on the girls sitting at the lunch table behind me
Turning around I ask, “are you guys talking about Damien Allen?” They nod, “who told you he got jumped?”
One of them answers “some girls from the cheer team,” of course, there are no bigger gossips in this school than the fucking cheer team.
It’s Tuesday and still not a single word from Damien, yesterday I was pissed but now I’m kind of worried
‘You got jumped are you ok?’ Why am I even bothering he’s not going to answer.
What the fuck am I supposed to do? Go to his house? Oh my god, should I go to his house? No that’s crazy I can’t just show up to his house if he’s ignoring me. You did it before idiot… but that was different something is clearly wrong, and if it’s not with us then it has to be with him. I’m not going to believe he got jumped until I talk to him though.
“Baz!” I’m pulled out of my head by Natalie who’s standing at my table, “have you seen Silver?” Not saying anything I shake my head, “damn it I can’t find her figured she was with you.”
“Why would you figure that? We’re not friends”
“Still?” I stare at her and she sits down, “you guys have to get over whatever you’re fighting about Baz, it’s probably not even worth it.”
“Natalie, maybe don’t put in your input if you don’t know what you’re talking about”
“Fine my bad” she stands, “all Silver does is talk about you, whatever she did I’m sure she regrets it.”
Looking away I see Silver walking into the lunchroom and say “she’s right there, can you leave me alone now?”
“Baz you know you don’t have to be a dick all the time, right?” Natalie walks away, I watch her walk to Silver and they hug, as they’re talking Natalie points to me and Silver looks over. We stare at each other and she flashes a faint smile, rolling my eyes I get up walking past them leaving the lunchroom.
The last person on my mind is Silver, I don’t care what anyone has to say I’m not forgiving her or getting over what she did, I think I have every right to be fucking angry at her.
Every class feels like a chore when I would rather be doing absolutely anything else, as I’m walking after class ends my phone starts ringing. Rushing in my pocket to check if it’s Damien I see my mom’s face and groan. Answering, “yes?”
“Hey Ewan, I’ve been trying to call your dad but he’s not answering his cell or office phone”
“Okay…” the fuck does that have to do with me?
“Well, where is he have you seen him?”
“Mom you do know dad and I aren’t together 24/7 right? I don’t know where he is or what he’s doing so I’m sorry but I can’t help you”
“All right well if you happen to run into him in the halls or something, tell him to call me back.”
“Yeah sure,” I hang up.
Wednesday afternoon during study hall, I sit alone outside scrolling through all 63 of my messages, making sure I’ve covered all my bases, I went from angry to worried to just about being done.
Except that’s a lie, dialing Damien’s number for the hundredth time in 3 days the phone doesn’t even ring anymore. “The number you are trying to reach is not a working number, please check the number and dial again.” I’ve been getting that all day, what the actual fuck Damien?!
That night during dinner I push my food around and my mom asks, “you don’t like it?”
“No it’s fine I’m just not hungry”
“Everything ok?” Not really
“Yeah, everything’s great.” Deciding I’d much rather be sulking in my room I ask, “you guys mind if I go finish my homework?”
They both shake their heads, “I’ll save your food for you”
“Thanks” getting up I walk to my room shutting the door. Dropping on my bed I hold my phone above me, I’ve stalked his Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat… still nothing. I’m not even sure what to think anymore, did I do something wrong? Is he avoiding me because of what happened last weekend? Why would he text me back Monday morning just to ignore and ditch me hours later?
None of this makes sense.
It’s now midnight and I know there’s no way I’m sleeping tonight, third night in a row and I’ve barely slept worried about a fucking guy I’m pretty sure is just fucking with me.
I need a fucking explanation. Deciding to sneak out I quietly get dressed then crawl out of my window, climbing down the tree I grab my bike.
Going to Damien’s house I stop when I see his car, “that asshole!” I get off my bike examining the car closely. He’s home ignoring me, what the hell?
Stomping to his front door I angrily knock on it not even bothering with the doorbell, if he regrets what happened then he needs to say it to my fucking face. Knocking for what feels like forever I finally give up realizing no one’s going to answer.
Sitting on the steps of his porch I take my phone out texting him
‘I’m outside your house and your car’s here’
‘What the hell did I do Damien?’
Why am I still bothering if he obviously blocked me? What’s he going to do never come back to school just to avoid me?
Standing a distance away Thursday morning I stare at Eddie and his friends talking and laughing with each other, I want so badly to go over there and ask, but I know Eddie will never talk to me let alone tell me where Damien is.
So me trying is a moot point.
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