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*47 days BeFoUr*
Colours. Bright colours everywhere. That was all Liam could see. He had thought that since he had a mate now maybe this year would be a bit different. That somehow it would be a bit better, but he was mistaken. If anything, this year was worse than all the other years. The winter solstice ball was the event of the year for the entire pack. In Liam’s perspective, it was a long-awaited day which lost its significance because the waiting made the expectations way higher than they should’ve been. Every year they waited for it, prepared for it and tried to make it perfect, which was the exact reason it was always duller than you expected it to be. Liam didn’t get the point of dancing formally and having big feasts. If you wanted the whole pack to be together and celebrate, why not arrange a movie night, just relax and get to know each other. It would be way better than dressing up in your best but most uncomfortable attire and making a fool out of yourself on the dance floor.
A groan left his lips, his eyes closing on their own accord.
” Liam, won’t you join me?” He inhaled sharply before opening his eyes to look at his mate. She was smiling, her hair arranged into an intricate braid. Liam would’ve said Rachel was a beautiful lady but he didn’t really know if she was. He never understood what was actually considered beautiful among the women. Honestly, they all looked the same to him.
” Erm.” He straightened his shirt and gave the hall a glance over before saying. ” But we just danced.” He was trying his hardest not to sound harsh but her mere presence aggravated him.
” I know but I want to dance.” It sounded like she was whining but the ever-present smile on her face was a confusing element.
Liam tilted his head up, biting on his lower lip in an attempt to stop himself from shouting at her. After a few calculated breathes, he craned his neck to look at her directly. ” I don’t feel like dancing, Rachel. If you want to dance, you can dance.” He forced a smile before walking towards the bar.
” But I want to dance with you.” Liam rolled his eyes at the footsteps that followed him.
Without turning to look at his mate he replied. ” Don’t waste away your night waiting for me, Luna Rachel.” When he was close to the bar, he turned. ” I’m a little tired, I think I’ll sit this one out.” She looked at him for a few minutes, her smile faltering but only a little.
” Okay.” Liam contained the sigh of relief as his mate finally walked away. Plopping himself on the stool, he ordered a beer. An inexplicable sound escaped him as he moved his head around, his neck popping in protest. No sleep and constant training to overcome boredom were not a very good decision after all.
Ever since he had seen Zayn in the hospital the other day it was like he couldn’t even close his eyes without seeing his former best friend on his death bed. And it also didn’t help that his dreams were getting worse every passing day. Zayn was getting more closer to death and it was affecting Liam severely, both physically and mentally.
He gulped down his beer in one go before ordering another one. Drinking was not actually his thing but he was tired and anything was better than slow dancing with his ‘gorgeous’ mate. A sudden cramp in the little finger of his left hand made him look around before he found the source of it. There he was in all his glory. Now that was what Liam would distinguish as beauty. Silver hair styled as a perfect mess, body fitted in a proper suit, and most importantly the wide smile accentuating all of his facial features. Zayn was the embodiment of beauty. Liam’s heart rate elevated, his body slumping in a sudden calmness. His former best friend flicked his wrist up and down before taking the little finger in his mouth.
” He must’ve hurt himself somehow,” His eyebrows furrowed, as he rubbed the sudden wetness on his own finger. His eyes roamed over his unchanged mate mark for a second before he thought better of it.” But how?”
” Did you need something, Alpha Liam?” The bartender, Edwin, asked him. His eyes widened at the question. Quickly, He shook his head, thinking how he must look crazy talking to himself like that.
Another gulp of his drink and his eyes had found Zayn again. He was dancing now. Liam’s heart skipped a beat. Suddenly, he felt hot all over. He watched as Niall twirled Zayn around before bringing him closer to his chest. Zayn was considerably smaller than the beta so it looked as if he was swimming in his arms. Liam breathed through his nose trying his best not to explode but Niall was too close and he didn’t like it. His hand folded themselves into fists, knuckles turning white from the intensity.
” It’s fine. It’s not like he’s your mate. Stop being stupid.” The words left him through gritted teeth. He had to get himself under control or else he would ruin everything and make a huge fool out of himself. He tried to look away to find something else in the crowd but no matter how hard he tried his eyes managed to find Zayn.
His heart ached as he saw the love of his life messing around with a boy who wasn’t actually him. A thought struck him. What if Niall was Zayn’s mate?
” No,” He shook his head vigorously.
It was just wrong. They didn’t even look good. They didn’t even make sense. Only Liam and Zayn could make sense together. Zayn could never be happier with anyone else but him. It just wasn’t right. Zayn couldn’t do that to him. He couldn’t. Liam won’t let him.
A low growl rumbled in his chest, startling some of the people around him.
” Alpha Liam, are you okay?” Edwin approached him. He dismissed him with a wave of his hand.
” I’m fine, just tired.” He blinked his eyes over to the cause of the discomfort in his heart. His breath hitched in his throat. Zayn was looking directly at him, his eyes wide and worried. Liam knew he wasn’t that close for the younger lad to hear him, so it must be the attachment working its magic again. They looked at each other for a hot minute before Niall found Zayn’s gaze and shook him out of the staring contest. Liam wanted to growl at the top of his lungs when Zayn smiled at the other lad. That was his smile. It was only for him to see.
While Liam contemplated on the least condemnable way to snatch Zayn from the cook’s arms, the other lad tried his best not to fall to his knees under the scrutinising gaze of the future Alpha king.
He tried his best to look unaffected but by the way, Niall was holding him, he knew that he wasn’t fooling anyone.
” You know if I didn’t know any better I’d say that you were mates.” His heart leapt at the beta’s words. ” But whatever this is. This isn’t an attachment, Zayn.” Niall shook his head, his eyes sympathetic. ” And I have a feeling that you already know that.”
A sudden weight lifted off of him and he knew that Liam wasn’t looking at him anymore. Surprisingly, the thought saddened him more than it relieved him. Not being able to resist the urge he turned his head to look where the prince had been sitting. He sighed when he found the seat empty.
” You should go after him.” His head jerked at those words. Niall’s blue eyes were sympathetic. Why couldn’t Niall be his mate? Things would’ve been so uncomplicated if the beta was his other half. But who was he kidding his life was far from uncomplicated. ” Come on, go. I know you want to.” Zayn tilted his head a bit, his heart warming with the emotions that radiated Niall’s body. Briskly he hugged his friend before skipping to where he thought Liam had gone. Actually, he was certain that the Alpha was there.
Carefully but quickly he made his way to their place in the woods. There was an urgency to every step he took. He wasn’t really expecting anything, just really impatient to see Liam. Since he had last seen him in the hospital, it was like all the time period they weren’t on talking terms had been erased and he just wanted to be in his best friend’s presence. Just the two of them like it used to be. Zayn didn’t know what was causing it but he was literally aching for the prince’s attention.
As he got closer his eyes spotted the future Alpha king, a smile coming over his lips. Liam was standing beside the apple tree, that never bore apples. Zayn remembered how he and the older lad used to sit under the tree estimating what age they would be when the tree would finally produce fruit. He never understood why he would never grow older than Liam. But then again he was a very stupid kid.
” What were you doing with Niall?” Liam had his back to him.
” Dancing,” Zayn answered. There was an inexplicable feeling in his chest that kept growing until he was smiling full blown.
” Why?” There was a heaviness to the alpha’s voice but Zayn didn’t care about it. At least they were talking. ” Is he your mate?”
” What? No.” Zayn chuckled.
” Then why were you with him tonight?” The words were a bit harsh. Not that it affected Zayn in any way. It was like he was high on something. Nothing mattered but the fact that he was so close to Liam right now.
” He’s my friend. He was my date tonight.” Zayn wanted Liam to look at him and he was getting impatient. He took a few steps closer before stopping again.
” Why?” It was an angry whisper.
” We used to go together as friends.” Zayn reminded him.
” It was different.” Those words were chewed on.
Zayn tilted his head a bit, his eyes narrowing a bit.” Different how?”
Liam threw away the bottle in his hand before turning to look at Zayn.” I was in love with you!” His eyes were red and it was more than clear that he had been crying. Zayn bit down on his lip to suppress the smile that threatened to break out of his lips. He must have gone crazy, smiling when his best friend was crying. Before he could be questioned about it, he closed the space between them throwing his arms around the alpha. Liam gasped at the sudden contact before wrapping his arms around the smaller lad, mirroring his emotions. Liam still smelled like Zayn remembered. His scent was a mixture of cologne and something very distinctively Liam. It was so calming that Zayn was melting in his embrace. He giggled as Liam lifted him off his feet, his huge arms consuming his body completely. Before he knew there was a wetness crawling down his cheeks. He was tired of pretending that he didn’t miss Liam. That he didn’t love him anymore. That it didn’t affect him that they weren’t friends anymore. It did way more than just affect him. It killed him.
” God Zayn.” Liam was crying harder now, his tears gathering in the crook of Zayn’s neck. They were both at a place where they had never thought they would be. ” I will reject her, Zayn. Don’t worry I will reject her and we’ll be together and I will love you forever.”
As the word reject left Liam’s mouth it was like Zayn was woken up from a very pleasant dream. He pulled back from the hug and looked at Liam directly. ” No, You can’t reject her.” Liam started shaking his head.
” Please don’t say that.” He said in between as sob.
” No, Li. I can’t… You can’t do that. You can’t reject her. You will die.” Zayn’s eyes were big and worried.
” At least, I won’t have to see you with someone else.” It was like Zayn had taken a punch to his gut, all the wind knocked out of him. He was too absorbed in Liam’s eyes to see what came next. Liam’s lips collided with his own almost painfully. His eyes were wide and body stiff but as soon as Liam had his arms around him he was melting into the kiss. It was better than whatever he had fantasised about. More magical. More real. Their hearts were in sync as their lips moved against each other. In those moments everything was purely and perfectly Liam, for Zayn.
As they broke the kiss, their eyes connected with each other leaving them in a dream-like state.
“Liam!” Zayn flinched out of the dream at the girly shrill that echoed throughout the woods. Liam’s eyes widened before a determined expression replaced them.
” No,” Zayn shook his head. ” I know what you’re thinking. No.” He cupped Liam’s face and gave it a slight squeeze.
” But Zayn.” Liam’s eyes were pleading.
” No, Liam. I will not be able to live with it. You can’t die because of me. I will not let that happen.” But Zayn was adamant.
Liam tightened his arms around the smaller lad’s waist.” I can’t live without you, Zayn.”
” Liam.” There it was the shrill voice again. This time more loud and clear.
Zayn swallowed hard.” Go back, Li. She must’ve felt it. Go.” He unwrapped Liam’s arms from around his body.
” No.” Liam sobbed.
Zayn pushed him away.” Now.”
” Zayn please don’t make me do this.” The shattered look in Liam’s eyes broke his heart but he was helpless.
” I love you, Li. Just go.” It came out more broken than he had intended.
Liam wiped the tears harshly and nodded.
” Liam!” Liam’s gaze shifted from the source of the voice to the love of his life. His eyes were swirling with emotions betraying his attempt at a poker face. Something passed between them and Liam nodded curtly before walking away.
As soon as the future Alpha king was out of sight, Zayn’s legs gave out leaving him in a heap of limbs. Why? Was the only coherent thought in his head. He didn’t deserve any of this. He was a good guy and did everything by the book. What had he done to deserve this? His eyes shifted towards the sky and he screamed as a sharp pain cramped his heart. Suddenly, he was falling apart limb by limb until he was nothing but a puddle of human flesh and tears.
He didn’t know how long he stayed there, just that when he was found his parents weren’t exactly happy. Life resumed its course after that, not even considering how Zayn had lost everything. It didn’t have the decency to stop so he could at least pick himself up. He was already weakening after his great fall in the ball preparations but after that day it was a new era of sickness. He got worse every day, eye’s enveloped by dark pools, face sunken, body frail. It was ironic how he was deteriorating because of his rejection even though he wasn’t even Liam’s mate. He tried to work through it, smile when required, keeping up his facade for the people around him. But it all stopped when he almost collapsed while dusting the living room one day and if it hadn’t been for beta Harry and Louis he was certain he would’ve busted open his head. Everything stopped for him after that. He was under the strict care of his mothers who wouldn’t let him out of the house until they were sure he was completely healed. But that was another thing, he wasn’t healing at all. Random bruises showed up on his body and stayed there. It was all very confusing and tiring.
Little did he know it was only the start.
+
* That Day*
Zayn remembered that day. He had actually had a dream about Liam leaving him. Turned out it was more true than not.
+
A/N
Hey my lovely people. I literally worked on this the entire night because my dad came home and I had to stop mid sentence to pretend sleep around 3 am and the rest of the night I tried to store ideas in my head .
So who is frustrated?
Wanna guess how many chapters left?
Omg I’m so excited right now!
Leave a comment people I’m dying to know what you think.
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