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Darkness.
It filled everything like a overly full cup. It was seconds from spilling over.
That is how it was.
Everything around myself was spilling over.
No words. No thoughts. Not even a breath.
Was I dead? Was I alive?
Nothing was inked with truth or certainty.
For that was the most grave.
And than…
It came.
A faded voice.
A slip of words.
“Kendall! Wake up please…”
The words were pierced with panic and fear. Fear of the darkness. Of theirs or my own?
Sense was unfamiliar. It was foreign.
The voice was thick. Was warming goo to my heart.
Not a pen dropped. Not a picture was painted.
For a glass shattering sound was made.
It was my heart.
My own music.
My beat.
It was loudly beaten like a native american drum.
…
And my world was once again light.
“Thank god! Are you okay?”
Logan. It was Logan. My best friend. My roommate.
…
Where is my memory?
Something is faded.
Something is out of the picture.
For my heart may have scars and hidden locks.
I do not remember so of these.
I felt love, but without the memory of so.
Was that story burned?
…What used to fill it?
I feel free as a bird soaring the bright blue sky.
But the pictures just aren’t there.
All I see with my view is my new world. My new home.
And the soul that makes up my best friend.
But I do not have a hint of what laid before this moment.
“Um…Logan…What happened?”
My voice leaked through like ink on a page. It held every emotion I was breathing. Fear, uncertainty, and lastly…Freedom.
It was a dangerous mix at the second.
“You just passed out. You were reading the letter from Brandon and you just blacked out. I was seconds from calling an ambulance. Don’t ever do that again! Not cool to give your best friend a heart-attack at this age!”
His words hit panic with a tease smile. The truth was deep within, but hidden with teasing. This was Logan.
He never opened his soul that deep.
But…
Who is Brandon?
What letter?
Was my memory fading like an old painting?
Was the letters getting darker and darker, till there was no such left?
“…Brandon?”
His eyes were showered with shock.
While mine must have held my true thoughts.
I had no memory of him.
“…You’re boyfriend. The guy you are so in love with? Kendall…This is freaking me out! I know he was from your dreams, but to forget him…It’s not possible. You didn’t even fall on something hard! You fell on your mattress!”
No. This was panic. It was full force. It was a terrible wave of sea water.
I was sinking in it.
So was Logan.
“I don’t remember…I just remember coming here after being kicked out, after James made me…James…”
James was in love with me.
My broken ex-best friend.
Was in love with me.
And I have not a single reason why I told him I couldn’t be with him.
I need to find him.
“Nevermind, Logan. Where is James? What’s today?”
My words came out seeping deep with despration. It was like food or water.
I needed to know.
I needed to make things right.
He is the one all along my heart longed for. And for what reason I locked it away.
Breaking the two of us in glass.
“Um…Friday. I think his band is playing at Mad Lake Pizza.”
With those words.
I was long gone.
—————————————————————————–
“This song is one I written just days ago. I hope you all enjoy it.”
Once I was there.
I was beyond the sand in the hourglass.
He was already ready to sing.
It left me with nothing more.
But to sit around.
And listen to the voice that I’ve grown to be fond of.
And with the music playing.
His voice shined through.
She is everywhere I go
Everyone I see
Winter’s gone and I still can’t sleep
Summer’s on the way
At least that’s what they say
But these clouds won’t leave
Walk away
I’m barely breathing
As I’m lying on the floor
Take my heart
As you’re leaving
I don’t need it anymore
This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It’s killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless
Now spring has brought the rain
But I still see your face
And I can not escape the past
Creeping up inside
Reminding me that I
Can never bring you back
This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It’s killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless
This is endless
This is endless
This is endless
Someone help me
‘Cause the memory
Convinced itself to tear me apart
And it’s gonna succeed before long
This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It’s killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless
This is endless
Someone help me
‘Cause the memory
Convinced itself to tear me apart
And it’s gonna succeed before long
This is endless
She is everywhere I go
Everyone I see
But these clouds won’t leave.
His voice…It was of a thousand angels.
It was angelic. It held more beauty than any flower or jewel.
I now knew I was in love with him.
All these feelings and flutters are signs. Of what was beyond the words my lips spilled.
If only he would listen to me before he was gone.
Gone from my grasp.
And his heart.
As he graced off the stage for the moment.
I didn’t let a single thought flow through before I was at his side.
His eyes were bright with torture. With a wound in his heart that was breaking his soul.
And it was of my doing.
The guilt was crashing like waves through out myself.
But I was no longer a puppet.
I was free.
“What a-“
Lips marked one another. It was fire.
It was ice.
It was darkness.
It was light.
It was sweet.
It was bitter.
It was…
Perfect.
Every longed thought. Every pushed away piece of hearts were brought up front and center.
Every word was breathed into this thing called a kiss.
It wasn’t a kiss.
It was love being showered in each soul. Connect them as one.
For this is how it was meant to be.
This story was made of agony,
So the beauty of love.
To be able to be known.
“I thought…You said…Brandon…?”
As our souls disconnected.
His confusion shined through his eyes. The story of our lives.
This was no movie ending.
It was no fairytale.
It was real.
This world was still cruel.
But with the right life beside yourself.
You will make it.
As I will with James.
“I was wrong. I was so wrong. I’ve loved you James since I was a young kid. And even when I tried to push you away, I still was in love with you…So if the offer still stands of being together. I would like to take it this time.”
My words were nothing but honest. I was bleeding my soul. All my stories were laid about.
One answer.
One single answer.
And I would be complete.
“I would like nothing more. I love you, Kendall. Forever.”
As our lips once again met.
As did our tongues. A dance that was like fireworks.
It was beautiful.
It was us. Ours.
As the cheers around us hit our ears. It made smiles mesh against one another.
As our lips, still as one.
This story was ended.
With love.
The winning of all.
And for the price I paid.
I wasn’t dying for freedom.
…
I lived for it.
—————————————————————————–
“Take care of him…”
And with those last words, Brandon made his way to the man he waited ten years for.
Kendall would be alright.
His life was just starting.
And James would always be there for him.
…
The End.
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