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A J-hope x Jimin story…
J-hope loves Jimin a lot, more than himself he would say, his life literally depends on Jimin. Jimin loves J-hope too, but not in an obvious way. He isn’t the type that would show his affection easily to his hyung. But he knows, he needs his hyung too.
It could be a perfect fairy tale story…if only…things were working out for them…
Jimin is a flirt, he knows it too, but refuse to admit. In his contact list is majority females’ numbers. Talking to guy was draining his energy, while talking to girls gives him energy. One second chatting with hairstylist noona; the other second winking at the female back-up dancers. Jimin thinks it’s socialising, but J-hope doesn’t think so.
J-hope and Jimin are not together, they can’t be together, because they’re both males, they’re both idols, they both have burdens that seemed to be greater than their love for each other. It was Jimin idea, of them keeping their relationship as a secret, J-hope did not mind at all, as long as Jimin belongs to him.
A Saturday night in the club would be absolutely normal for Bangtan. Girls would flocked to them, especially Jimin, who attracted them with his charms. J-hope would be at the side drinking his wine, pretending to appreciate the liquor, but in actual fact, with the corner of his eyes, observing Jimin’s every move with the girls.
Jimin would pick one of them to sit beside him, as he conveniently place his hand on her legs. It would move up to her thighs, as his other hand pulls her chin in. He would whisper something dirty, and licked his lips seductively even J-hope would get turned on although he’s sitting like way far away.
Of course J-hope would get jealous, but he would do nothing, wrong, he would do anything, anything to control himself from chasing away those bitches. He knew Jimin wouldn’t like it if he does that, he would look super angsty if he does it too. He controls himself, with much effort.
J-hope wasn’t that bad looking too, in fact, he’s probably the 1% best looking guy in Korea given the fact that he’s an idol. He too, attracted few girls, but he coldly shooed them away. He wasn’t in the mood to socialise, ‘flirt’ is a better word in this situation. He tried flirting with girls to catch Jimin’s attention, but it was a huge failure. Jimin would merely smile at him and flirt with his girls even more intensely, certainly not what J-hope wants.
J-hope hates going to the club, or should I say he hates witnessing Jimin flirt with other girls but he himself can’t do a single shit to stop it, except to stop his emotions from overflowing. But J-hope had to go. He had to act normal, he had to act like he doesn’t give a shit, like what Suga does normally, and enjoy clubbing like normal boys do.
Returning back to the dorm is another episode. Jimin had kindly asked V to sleep with the maknae and now J-hope and Jimin sleeps in the same room, alone. However, every time after the club session, J-hope would be the first one entering the dorm, stomping into the room and locking himself inside.
The other members would not notice at all, probably too drunk, all long collapsed in the living room. Jimin would still be sober, he wouldn’t let himself get drunk, he was responsible – finally one good trait from him.
He would knock the door and ask what happened, despite knowing clearly the reason. J-hope would remain silent, and reply exactly one minute after, saying things like “I thought you treated me as transparent.”
“Yea, I am, still. I’m just talking to the door, didn’t expect you to reply, Mr Transparent.”
This would make J-hope even angrier, but Jimin loves to tease him. Jimin would then beg for forgiveness, and he know, every single time, the door would be open after two minutes of continuous “mianhe”.
J-hope would open the door, for which Jimin would be ready to dash in and hold tightly onto his hyung. He would push J-hope to the other side of the wall, holding his chin gently like how he did to the girls in the club. He would lick his lips seductively like he did just now, but with the additional of locking their lips together.
J-hope would struggle initially, but not really wanna break that kiss. Jimin knows it, and he acted along. He held on tight to J-hope, planting rough kisses on his neck, collarbone, as he slowly button his shirt. Jimin would throw J-hope onto the bed, and that’s how their typical Saturday night would end.
J-hope would wake up lying on Jimin’s bare chest. Jimin would be dead asleep, not knowing that his hyung has been staring at him for the past one hour. J-hope would always ponder why did he fall in love with his flirt, yet every time, being enticed by him so badly he simply can’t live with Jimin.
The first thing Jimin would do after he open his eyes would be staring deeply at his hyung. The soft bites he give on his hyung’s lips are their morning kisses, and J-hope enjoys that too. Jimin would be all his that morning, J-hope knows it well. No bitchy girls would be beside trying to catch Jimin’s attention, there wouldn’t be a situation whereby under the influence of alcohol, Jimin totally forgot J-hope existence.
After another hour of cuddling in bed, Jimin would reluctantly part with his hyung, and jump off bed to wear his shirt. As he’s wearing back the white shirt he wore yesterday, J-hope noticed a red lip mark on the back of his shirt. He wasn’t that comfortable about that. Jimin doesn’t seemed to notice it, as he casually walked out of the room.
That lip mark doesn’t seem to leave J-hope’s mind, not for the time being at least. J-hope was tired of feeling such pain. He stopped himself from imagining what exactly caused that mark but…something still doesn’t felt right. Loving Jimin was like consuming drugs, addictive yet knowing that it would kills you sooner or later. His love for Jimin was slowly eating away his heart, yet sometimes so rapidly sometimes he forgot how to feel pain.
Jimin likes to flirt with girls, he understands, but does Jimin truly loves him then? It is a question, now, J-hope himself wasn’t even sure anymore. He got his body, but did he exactly have his love? J-hope could not feel it at all. He was tired, mentally and physically, tired of blocking away all his emotions and not to feel anything. He wants to love Jimin as much as he could but it takes two hands to clap. He realised he hasn’t been feeling the love from Jimin since…he doesn’t even know!
On that very Sunday morning, J-hope decided, he wants a change. He was sick of living this ‘drug addict’ live. He needs a boyfriend, who truly loves him and care for him and not treat him transparent, not even for a second.
At this moment, V came into the room. J-hope sat up straight from the bed naturally. V saw that his hyung’s half body naked, and mostly likely guessed what happened yesterday. He was overwhelmed with emotions, disappointment, sadness, jealousy and hopelessness. But he managed to force out a smile.
“Breakfast’s ready!” V said, cheerfully…he hoped.
J-hope stared at his dongsaeng in silent. He saw that discomfort coming from V in that split second. And at that moment, he saw V in a different light. No longer just a dongsaeng, but…a quite reliable person. J-hope did not give himself time to settle his thoughts.
That second before V turned away, J-hope called out, “Taehyung ah, mianhe.”
“Wae- wae yo hyung?”
“Sorry for falling in love with…him.”
Both Jimin and J-hope did not announce their relationship to Bangtan either. And that was the first time J-hope admitted to his member, about his love for Jimin, although their actions were already obvious enough.
V smiled, hoping to look naturally, and said, “There’s nothing wrong falling in love with someone hyung.”
“But I fell in love with someone who never fails to hurt me and doesn’t love me as much as I do. Did I made the wrong choice, for loving him?”
“Aniyo, this is called ‘love’ hyung. It is like giving your heart and even everything to someone the full rights to hurt you and trust that he doesn’t let you down.”
“I thought I’ll be fine initially. I thought I could convince myself that he only loves me, convince myself that he wouldn’t break my heart, convince myself that he is the one for me…but now…I don’t even know. I tried multiple times and failed multiple times too. I’m tired now Taehyung, and I don’t know what to do.”
That sigh that came afterwards ached V’s heart too. His hyung was suffering in front of him and there’s nothing he can do.
“I too hyung,” V replied without further thinking, “I fell in love with someone who…would probably never love me back. Seeing him suffer is like hell to me, especially when I can’t do anything. How much I wished I could punch that person who hurt him so badly but I know, he wouldn’t allow me to do that, because he too loves that guy a lot.”
Just when the atmosphere was reaching perfection, Jin had to interrupt it, with a shout from outside, “Ppalli wa! The food is getting cold!”
J-hope and V looked at each other. There’s so much they wanted to say, yet, words just wasn’t coming out from their mouths.
“Let’s go out now hyung,” was what V managed to say.
“Taehyung ah,” J-hope called out and stopped him from walking out of the room, “you…can move back to this room. Me and Jimin…doesn’t need this room to ourselves anymore.”
“Wae yo?”
“Just…” J-hope shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.
Author’s Note
Sooo…VHOPE or JIHOPE?? hehe I’ll let y’all decide!!
[is there part 2?]
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