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Permission to post:
Im a scared newbie of this HIV+ world and i just want to share my story and be helped:
Im early 30+, guardian/bread-winner for my minor siblings since we already lost our parents several years ago.
My story started around July to August 2017. I met a young fresh guy from a gay link app Grindr, he’s a student ( i prefer students thinking that they can be safer than older peeps). He was smooth, clean, young and wild. He gave me a night that i couldnt forget. We even repeated it 3 times.
During the 1st time I swallowed him.
2nd time i became a bottom but it was protected with condom.
Then 3rd time was swallowed again.
Weeks after those sexcapades that we had, when changes started to happen.
3-6 weeks after, I started to lose weight for no reason and self-effort which everybody noticed since i was 220lbs down to 170lbs which was a pretty obvious change (although I really like my weight now but i never had this weight lost just for a short period of time). I just told them that i started a new Juicing Diet just to give them an alibis.
Then due to the obvious change in my weight so i started doing my google research for the possible cause and thats where I saw the HIV Symptoms including Sudden Weight Lost, Fever, Skin rashes, Tonsilitis or Swollen Nodes.
Then for 3 weeks in a row i started having flu every weekends. Chills, fever, cough&cold and even tonsilitis hit me as well followed by the rashes started to showup all over my body.
Thats when i started my self assessment, thinking that nothing seemed normal on whats going on. Thats when i asked myself what if Im positive, and thats how I started to accept it if i become positive. Planning and Thinking everything. Learning the basics just to avoid the state of being shocked once i have the confirmed result.
I made myself ready and prepared for the result so I immediately went to a doc for HIV testing and guess what..
Yes, i was diagnosed Positive with the HIV Virus on Oct. 26.
After the counselling and all, the Doc just gave me the meds (ISO and ARV) today and i just have to start taking it and see whats gonna be the side effects for me.
I havent taken it yet since once i started taking it i should not drink or smoke anymore for the rest of my life and ill be having a party this coming weekend so im planning to start taking it after the weekend.
Yes, im a party person and i dont know how can i suddenly change my lifestyle because of this.
Now just to emphasize how i caught the HIV virus..
Unaware of it, I had an open wound on my gums during the time that i swallowed it (1st and 3rd) and I just noticed the wound after those occasions.
So that became a clear open door for the HIV virus to enter my body.
Now on a serious note. I dont want my family, friends or anyone i know to be aware of my condition. I just want it to be fully confidential until I become undetectable.
I just want to have new friends with the same condition or supporters or groups that will help me with this battle and keeping it confidential.
I have no clue what will happen, how will it happen and when it’ll happen..
but since the time that I was doomed when I lost my parents i only believe in one thing that Bob M said.. and that is…
“You’ll never know how strong you are…
Until being strong is the only choice you have”
Im hoping to get help..
im lost..
Im still upset with my life..
And i dont know what to do 😢😢😢
Thanks for reading my story
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