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~ Chapter 3 ~
I sat down on the bed of my room, which was only had moonlight as its light. I was extremely relieved when I knew the five of us were going to a rent house for sleeping, instead of hotel. I didn’t know if I could handle it if we had actually had to stay in hotel during the rest time of this Australia tour. The fans were too much. Of course I loved our fans, but in my rest time, I wished I hadn’t had to meet anymore fans after meeting thousands of them during the day. And I likely didn’t get what I wished if we’d had to stay in hotel.
I watched the half moon from behind my window for a minute, before finally lay down on my bed. The moon was behind my head, so I still could enjoy the moonlight that passed through the curtain-less window. Sometimes, in a moment like this, I felt like a werewolf… watching moon’s beauty with no intention… Just… watching. But honestly, moon was like an unspeaking friend to me. It saw me in my low… it saw me in my high… it was there when I slept in happiness… and it was there when that time, -for the first time in my life-, I cried quietly until I fell asleep in hatred to myself… it was there, hanging on the night sky, when he made all the happiness in my childhood went away… it was always there, even if it was hidden by Earth’s shadow.
That was why I’d always chosen a room with a window. And that also was why my room went absolutely dark whenever it came to new moon. Because… I needed to see moon. Moon was like my friend. And I needed friend. Everyone in this world hated me, so, until I found one who didn’t, until I found one who could love me, I guessed moon would be my friend… Hmm, did I sound creepy? Umm, maybe that was just my feeling.
The moonlight kept shining on my face, -if anyone saw me, maybe I looked like a vampire now-, as my thought lingered on the words ‘Everyone in this world hated me’. As the words echoed in my brain, my mind automatically wandered to him.
Him who hated me so much, even though until now, I didn’t know why.
I wanted to stay awake a little longer to think about him and all what he did to me… all his cruelness, all what he put me through… But I was too tired. After he disturbed my whole day, and my whole life, I couldn’t let him disturb me anymore in this night, by him appearing in my mind. I let the moonlight lulled me by the dim light it offered me, by the natural peace it gave me, as I decided to close my eyes and let sleep engulf me.
But damn it, right when I was about to fall asleep, my door was knocked!
“Who is it?” I asked in sleepy-angry voice, as I unwillingly opened my eyes to give a dirty look to my door, as if the person behind that door could see me. I was so tired! Couldn’t anyone just let me sleep?
Silence.
Ha! Maybe this person understood that my angry voice was caused by his disturbance. I just hoped so, and also hoped that he’d left.
Yet of course I was wrong! The door was knocked again.
“Come in!” I said louder, couldn’t help the slight harsh tone which came out. I’d decided not to repeat my earlier question, to make this possibly-turned-out-to-be-a-conversation happening last shorter.
The door was opened and immediately, intense lights from outside my room radiated in. I automatically covered my eyes with my hand, protecting them from the drastic change of light exposure. I heard steps entered my room and the door was closed. Maybe it was safe for me to open my eyes now-
“I’m cold.”
That voice made my eyes dilated. Impossible! It mustn’t be… Oh God, it was him!
“So?” I asked in a fake calmness. I underlined: Fake.
“Can I sleep here?”
I glared disbelievingly,-I couldn’t see his eyes from here- but seeing him standing still over there facing me, I guessed he was serious. Huh, as if I would willingly let him kill me in my sleep! I sprung my hands as wide as possible, my left leg moved slightly too, to show him the most apparent sign of my answer that THERE WAS NO WAY HE COULD SLEEP HERE!
“Is it a ‘No’?” he asked, in a strange hint of amusement in his voice as he watched me.
“Yes, smartass!” I said rolling my eyes.
He said as took a step towards me, “I know you want me!” I even could hear his cruel smirk. What did he mean- Hey damn it, he tricked me!
“I said, yes, you couldn’t sleep here. Now, go away!” I commanded. He stopped.
I still couldn’t see his face because the moonlight didn’t reach the place he stood up on, but by his stillness. I guessed he was contemplating to leave. I exhaled my breath and closed my eyes. I did really need my sleep.
I heard steps come closer- Oh no! I opened my eyes and opened my mouth to say something to prevent him came any closer but right when I opened my eyes, I felt my bed dipped and before I knew, he already lay over my left hand and left leg.
“What are you doing?” I asked in panic. Really, this guy was crazy!
“Getting some warmth,” he said, facing my ceiling.
“Why don’t you get some warmth from Harry?” I snapped as trying to pull my hand and my leg from him. My leg: success. My hand? Different story. He didn’t even budge.
“Harry is sleeping with Louis,” he said slowly. However I was annoyed by him, I couldn’t help but smiled at this news. Finally! They could deal with it!
But then I frowned. “Why don’t you go to Niall?” I asked, less angry than before, eventhough I didn’t want it.
“Umm… he’s… Skype-ing,” he sounded a rather doubtful, something I rarely heard from him. But then he added, “I don’t want to disturb.”
I bit my lip to prevent me from smiling again. Knowing Niall, he must be Skype-ing Demi Lovato. First, he acted generous to me, -eventhough it was just for once in his lifetime-, second, Louis and Harry were cool now, and third, Niall got another chances with Demi. This day was miraculous, eh?
But then one fact that crossed my mind washed away my nearly-formed smile. He Hated Me.
“So… you prefer staying here to staying in your room?” Free from the person you hated the most in this world, if I might add?
“Than freezing to death?” his words sounded uneasy. “Yeah.”
The uneasy tone from him made me guess what caused it. Maybe it was because he was regretting himself of coming here? But that uneasy suspiciously sounded like guilt… a guilt because he had to cover something that I should know but he didn’t want me to know… but then, what was that?
I couldn’t come up with another guessing so I decided to believe my first forecast.
“Well yeah… seems legit,” I countered sarcastically. He must have had just thought that he shouldn’t be here, so I helped him by throwing that sarcastic comment, to give him a reason to hate me more and leave me alone. He’d be happy, so would I.
I waited for some harsh words. Or shout. Yet, nothing came out. He didn’t move a single inch. I sighed. So… he wouldn’t leave? Then fine.
Just for this once, he could sleep here. I guessed.
There was this silence around us. Maybe he was already sleeping. I decided to sleep again. But then I felt something wrong about me. Something stiff…
My hand!
“Zayn, wake up! My arm is stiff!” I said as I shook him a bit, trying to get free my arm from under his upper back. Unexpectedly, he snorted, stifling a laugh. Damn it! So he was awake?!
“You do it in purpose, don’t you?” I gave him a dirty glare, to find that he was slightly biting his lip, and his body was shaking from the silent laughter. This just made me even more annoyed. I wiggled my left arm and winced in shock as the feeling of thousand ants creeping on my left hand’s bone struck me. Awe, this sucked! I wiggled my arm more and more to push my stiffness away, and as long as I did that, Zayn laughed uncontrollably.
“Liam… stop! What… are you doing?” he said between his laugh. Now I’d just realized that as long as I wiggled, he wasn’t laughing at me. He was laughing because… he was ticklish!
“Getting free of my arm,” I couldn’t help but grinned as he kept on laughing, despite of the pain in my bone. Finally, I found his weakness! I moved my right hand to his side, tickling him, with my left arm still wiggling. He laughed evenmore and his hands helplessly swatted my hand.
“Stop! Stop! Liam, stop!” he said breathlessly, between his laughter. I kept tickling him, didn’t care of his helpless kicks at me. They were different… they weren’t the same with the ones I used to…
The grin on my face was gone. This laugh I heard now wasn’t a happy laugh, and this made me remember all of the fake laughs I did, all of the fake smiles that I had to wear to cover everything about what he did to me. This made me upset. I hated lying, and he kept me doing that all the time. I needed revenge. And now I knew his weakness. After all those years tried to figure out, I found the answer now.
Maybe this was my chance, my only chance, to show away all my anger, my grief, my frustration, to him.
I mercilessly tickled him until I finally saw tears streamed down his check between his laughter.
I opened my mouth. “That’s for everything you’ve-“ Done to me… I wanted to say that so much. Just for him to know how I hated myself because of him. I really really wanted to say that… yet I couldn’t. I thought I would be happy founding his weakness. I thought I would be happy if I had a chance to blame him on everything. I thought I would be happy seeing him cried… yet I wasn’t. I wasn’t happy at all. Instead, I felt guilty for paying him revenge. I was looking for satisfaction of making him miserable by myself, I found none. I tried to convince myself that he deserved much more than tickle-attacks, but I didn’t know why I felt relieved that I didn’t do what he had done to me.
As I heard him catching his rapid breath, I felt guiltier. Damn it, now I knew I was weaker than all what people thought.
“Why did what I said to you affect you so much?” he asked slowly, breathing hard while he said that. Honestly, I was surprised that he even spoke to me right now. I expected something… more cruel, more him. He spoke to me, -slowly-, after I practically attacked him, didn’t seem like Zayn at all. I tilted my head to make him turned his head to me raising an eyebrow at him with ‘Are-you-talking-about-my-hair-?’ expression, but what I found was that he’d already faced me. Moonlight shone on his smooth well-sculpted face, also made his raven hair glow. His eyes were fixed on me, somehow the moon made his eyes shimmered their best color.
“Do you even have to ask me about that?” I asked him, deciding to call off asking him ‘What are you talking about?’. Something in me wasn’t right. I was feeling so conflicted, but I didn’t know what I felt. Was this angriness? Desperation? Disappointment?
“Why?” he pushed in more stern voice, yet still slow. There was something so intense in his eyes, something that I couldn’t decipher. He made me feel like I couldn’t lie.
“Because I overthink everything people say about me… maybe?” I said. I didn’t mean to rise my tone like I was questioning like that, but suddenly I doubted myself. The way he asked me… implied something. Again, it wasn’t something I could figure out.
“Then, what if I say that you’re handsome?”
That caught me off guard. I frowned, despite the small smile tugging on my lips. The blush on his cheek, -which I could catch by the moonlight- amazed me. Suddenly the image of him offered me ice cream this evening flashed again to my mind.
What happened with him today?!
“Are you high?” I asked, putting my right hand over his forehead. It was warm. Then I moved my hand to his soft cheek. It was warmer. Then I moved my foot to feel his foot’s temperature. It was cold.
How could that happen to one person’s body?
“I’m cold,” he said softly as he scooted over to me, that now my arm was under his neck instead of his upper back, and his body now was fully facing me. Quickly, I turned my face to the ceiling. It terrified me that this felt natural: me putting my hand on his forehead, and him sleeping facing me.
I sighed as I listened to his even breathing. See, those things didn’t even affect him! Those things we did didn’t mean anything to him, so, I shouldn’t feel “terrified” or “natural” about those, right? Ugh, all the Ziam act maybe started to get into me that I started to notice things that no other, -especially him- noticed. So I chose to ignore my terrified feeling and tried to sleep, again.
His breath blew my ear and I shivered. Damn it, he was now getting some warmth from me and giving me cold right at the same time? Freaking awesome.
I tried to ignore it to keep trying to sleep. Yet another breath blew me again, and I shivered again. Ugh, this ain’t good.
Bright light suddenly came flashing through my window, and soon, a thunder boomed. I felt him trembling against me and automatically, he hugged my side. This felt like this morning…
Yet I didn’t know if he was afraid of thunder, though.
Silence came again. This time, maybe Zayn was finally seeping. His even breaths kept blowing my ear and neck, and they kept giving me shiver all over again. I wanted to wake Zayn up, but… what if he got angry if I woke him up? He loved his sleep and in this level of tiredness, I wasn’t in the mood to face the risk of him shouting at me. Okay, I had better turned to my right side. But then again I remembered that my arm was under his neck.
Uh, okay… so… I guessed I should sleep facing him… Crap, it sounded so awkward…
Once again, his breath tickled me. And THAT WAS IT!
I turned my body to my left, facing him. I thought I saw him smiling, but maybe I was wrong. I accidentally brushed his hand, and damn it, he was so cold. I didn’t contemplate any longer to pull my initially-unused blanket by my foot and spread it to cover us. I stroked his hand and his back, back and forth.
‘Why do you do this?’ the voices in my head asked me, and I tried to convince myself that I did this just to prevent him from getting sick in my room, so that he wouldn’t infect me. But the question echoed, like it wasn’t satisfied by my reason. I dug my brain, deeper and deeper, looking for the right answer.
And I couldn’t find it, I couldn’t find a real reason behind this strange action of mine. What I knew was just that I kept doing this.
And now, I did really see Zayn smiled.
“Zayn?” I asked. He didn’t move. Hmm, I guessed he was dreaming… dreaming something beautiful.
And now that I thought of it, this wasn’t that awkward. He was warm…
***
AN:
AAAAAAAHHHH!!! ZIAAAAM! XD
I actually feel bad for making Danielle and Liam, and Zayn and Perrie break-up in this story, but I WANT ZAYN AND LIAM TOGETHER!!! Sorry, Danielle, sorry Perrie, I know I’m a bad giiirl… *sobbing*
And for you who were born at this date, happy birthday! I’m sorry I cant give you any present now, because you know, the last time I gave people present, they threw tomatoes at me. You don’t know what I’m saying? Good, it means that you’re normal. But anyway, I wish you all the best 🙂
I know no one reads this story, but, this chapter is dedicated to @DirtyMindxD ! You know awesome girl, your simple vote really made my day! Thank you!!! XD
And anyway, comment, vote, fan, add to library, please? 🙂 Thank you and have a nice day!! 😀
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