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CHAPTER 7:
I was vaguely aware that my whole body tingled. A shiver went down my spine, like lightning through a metal rod. I felt electric. My whole body was in sensory override, trembling from the sensation of the wind against my skin.
“Oh Micah…” My head snapped up, the saliva in my mouth disappearing. That voice… god it made me feel weak in the knees. I was captive, locked underneath the most intense stare i’d ever seen. The hazel eyes didn’t blink as I continued to tremble. “Won’t you give yourself to me?”
Yes. The answer was instantaneous in my head. My whole body was shaking with the sudden need to be touched by… by whoever this was. In my whole life I had never been this turned on. I was almost painfully hard. I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out.
Tears filled my eyes as I struggled to speak, each passing second forcing more unbearable amounts of pleasurable pain. I needed release. I needed him. “Say you want me Micah.” I did want him, whoever he was. I needed him. My thighs felt soaking wet, my body’s natural response to arousal making me flush in shame. This had never happened to me before. The eyes were attached to a face which I wasn’t sure I recognized. I knew him… who was he? He chuckled at me, seeming to come even closer. “No need to say anything Micah. I can smell it. Your wetness smells so sweet, my mate.”
Noah!
I jolted awake, my whole body shaking, but this time in alarm. What on Luna’s great earth had I been dreaming of? I groaned in dismay, sitting up in bed and realizing something felt strange. “No, no, no…” I threw the bed from my body, stifling a frustrated scream when I realized my ass was soaking wet and drenching the sheets beneath me. “Fuck me.”
I was suddenly grateful I had insisted on sleeping in my own room. Noah had pressed and pressed the night before that we sleep in the same bed, but I was able to dissuade him with a bullshit lie about alpha mates not being allowed to share a bed until our mating ceremony. Sure it was a lie, but it was kind of his fault for not paying attention in class. Had he been a better student, he’d have known I was full of shit.
Whatever the case, I thanked Luna I was alone to deal with the first appearance of my ambrosia. My cheeks flamed up as this realization dawned on me. My body had produced ambrosia! I got out of bed, feeling more liquid leak from between my legs and slide down to pool at my feet. Wasn’t this too early to start producing? Was there supposed to be this much?
“Micah? Are you awake?” The sound of Noah’s voice made all the blood drain from my face. This was bad. So, so bad. “Micah… do you smell something? It smells… really good.” He rattled my doorknob and I sighed in relief when I realized it was locked. “Micah?”
“I-i’m awake. I spilled something.” I said quickly, pulling off my bottoms and stripping my bed of it’s sheets. “I’m cleaning it up.”
“Do you need help?” He asked, seeming unsure if he even should.
“No.” I said quickly. “I… I’m dealing with it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Very.” I couldn’t let him help me with this. There was no way. I needed to see a doctor. I needed to know what the hell was going on. Unmated wolves shouldn’t produce ambrosia, especially not in these amounts, right? I wasn’t sure. “I have to go visit Nico today.” I lied, mortified at the thought of telling him what I woke up to.
“Your dad called. He wants us both to come see him first thing.” Noah informed me, shaking the doorknob. I cursed under my breath, holding the pile of laundry in my arms. “We should-“
“Just go on ahead.” I told him. “I need to shower and throw my clothes in the washer. I can meet you there.”
“He said he wanted to see both of us.”
“Did he say you had to walk me?” I snapped, frustrated as more ambrosia dripped down my leg. “God Noah, stop babysitting me!”
“Fine!” He snapped back, surprising me. I had expected him to put up much more of a fight. “Do what you like, Micah.”
——————–
I was in panic clean up mode the second Noah had left. I tossed every piece of cloth I had wet and then scrubbed the floor where I had leaked with bleach. After I felt like I had gotten rid of most of the scent, I realized I smelled sickly sweet.
I was in the shower for twenty minutes, unsure if I would continue to produce ambrosia when I got out. The longer I took, however, the more suspicious my behavior would become. I finally got out and dressed quickly.
I walked briskly to my parents home, my old home, trying not to draw too much attention. My cheeks felt red. I didn’t know what to do. For the moment there was no ambrosia, but I had no idea what would set it off. I avoided eye contact and pretended not to hear anyone call out to me. I was so focused on ignoring everyone that I didn’t realize my mom had chosen to exit the house just as I entered. I slammed into her so hard I lost my balance, falling to the floor.
“Micah!” My mom cried, setting down her basket to help me to my feet. “What on-“
She stopped speaking, finally making eye contact with me. I choked back a sob, realizing in that instant how much I needed her right now. “Ama!” I whimpered, getting up and throwing myself into her arms. Her arms enveloped me, wrapping me in a protective embrace.
“Oh honey, what’s wrong?” She asked as I sobbed and sniffled, trying to convey my dismay without words. “Did something happen?”
“I-hic- I woke up and-hic- I-” I was trying to explain, but all my words were cut off by my sloppy cries and hiccups.
“Micah, I don’t understand.” Ama stroked my head, flattening my still wet curls. “Are you hurt?” I shook my head, trying to calm myself enough to communicate. “Tell me what happened. Let me help you, darling.”
“Am- am- ambrosia.” I finally stuttered out, pulling away to wipe my eyes. “I… I woke up and-and… there was so much.”
“Oh, Micah.” My mom sounded so relieved, making me feel foolish. “Oh… i’m sure that was alarming for you.” I nodded, but I suddenly felt very stupid. “Come with me. I have some pads inside. You’ll need to stop by the hospital and pick up suppressants.”
She grabbed my hand, leading me into the house and into the downstairs bathroom. She locked the door behind us and began to rummage under the sink. “I… I’m sorry if I scared you. I feel so silly now.”
“Don’t.” Ama chuckled, finally finding what she was looking for. She pulled out a long cotton pad and sat it on the sink. “I remember when I first produced it. It was during your father and i’s bonding ceremony. I was horrified.” She laughed again at my disgusted facial expression. “What? Ambrosia is natural Micah. I’ve had this talk with you before… that there might be a possibility if you had a male mate you would produce it too when you-“
“When I go into heat. I know.” I finished for her. “But i’m not supposed to go into heat until i’m mated.”
“Yeah, that is strange.” my mom mused, staring me down. “And dangerous. You know that you and Noah cannot mate until your ceremony.”
“I know that, Ama. I’m not producing this stuff on purpose.” I whined. Hell, i’d prefer to never produce it. The thought of going into heat had me feeling physically ill.
“I didn’t say you were. I’m just reminding you how important it is that you do not mate yet. You and Noah will have to go get suppressant pills-“
“Why Noah? He’s not involved in this.” I groaned, covering my face. “I don’t want to tell him anything about it.”
“Micah, think logically. The suppressant pills are not 100% effective unless you both take them. One should take it in the morning and one of you should take it at night so that they never wear off at the same time. If you were to go into heat and he were to scent it because he’s not on suppressants, you-“
“I know what would happen.” i cut her off, overwhelmed by this whole conversation. I’m not stupid, i wanted to yell at her. I knew how heat worked. Mated wolves went into ‘heat’, or an overwhelming aroused state, once a year for about a week. The heat would be brought on by the wolf who was expected to get pregnant, usually females and the bottom in gay male relationships. They would begin to produce lubrication from their genitals, somewhat profusely, to allow for easy mating. This lubrication gave off a scent, which sex ed described as ‘mouthwatering’, and so the mates would enter a somewhat crazed state of arousal which would lead to days of nonstop sex until the heat was sated. The purpose of this was to encourage breeding, as wolves were hunted to near extinction in the past. Now that wolves lasted well into old age, we took suppressant pills to keep our heat away most of the time. No one wanted a baby every year anymore. “It’s embarrassing.”
“I felt that way too.” My mom confided. “Here, this is a female pad so it might be a bit uncomfortable, but it will hold you until you’re able to go buy some male ones.”
“Thank you, Ama.” I sighed, taking the pad from her.
“It will get easier, Micah. I promise. In the mean time, please go to the hospital, alright? I just want you to be safe. I don’t want… I don’t want something to happen to you that you don’t want to happen. The suppressants will give you time.”
“Is it that bad?” I asked, looking into her eyes. “The heat, I mean. Like… would we lose all reason?”
“A heat is… I… imagine you are lost in the desert your whole life. Your throat is full of sand, your skin is burned from the sun. Your eyes are so dry it hurts to blink. And your mate… they are water.” She unlocked the door, turning to head out. “What would you do to have water? Anything, right?”
————————-
“I apologize for my tardiness.” I said quickly as I entered my dads office, rushing to take the available seat in front of his desk. Noah was already there, seated beside me.
“No problem, your mother spoke to me in the hall.” My dad cleared his throat. “It’s understood.”
“Oh.” I felt my cheeks turn red as my dad shuffled some papers that obviously didn’t need shuffling. “Of course she did.”
“I assume you’ll be taking care of it today?” My dad asked, quickly glancing at Noah. I looked at Noah who honestly seemed confused by this whole conversation. I assumed this meant it hadn’t been discussed in front of him.
“Ama told me what I had to do.” I assured him. “So, can we just talk about why we’re here?”
“You’re the future alpha couple. You have to be.” My father chided.
“But there’s a reason we’re here now.” I tried hard not to roll my eyes.
“Unrest in the pack.” My father sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Although Noah won the match, not everyone seems to agree with his alpha status.”
“What? Why?” Noah spoke, his whole face red in anger. “I won. Everyone saw.”
“You won.” My dad agreed. “However, you won without honor.” Noah flinched. “You attacked your own mates brother, practically to death. While you were justified, there are many who believe your actions were a desperate grab for power. They believe you forced Micah to choose between being Alpha and allowing his brother to die. There are many who believe that Micah is the rightful alpha as he exhibited true strength in the battle.”
“Wait? So, what does that mean?” I asked, suddenly feeling much happier. “Could we fight again? Could I-“
“Micah.” My dad glared at me disapprovingly. “The terms were set. Fighting your mate was horrifying enough once. We will not have a repeat performance.”
I frowned, trying not to let my face slip into a pout. “So then what? What can I do to prove I should be alpha?” Noah questioned. I bit my lip hard, using all my willpower not to scoff.
“That is why I asked you both here. I believe that Micah’s support could help you with that.” My dad looked at me, watching my face closely. I tried to keep my face devoid of emotion, but I could tell by his subtle eyebrow raise that he knew exactly how I felt. Help him? I’d rather die. “Micah is well respected within the pack, not just because he is my son, but because he devotes almost all of his freetime to helping his fellow pack members. He is a vital part of our community because he made himself so. I believe accompanying Micah around the pack, helping where he helps, could go a long way in mending your image.”
‘Mending his image’? After trying to kill the alphas son in front of the whole pack, I was surprised his house wasn’t burned down. “I’m not opposed.” Noah responded, looking at me.
“I am.” I snapped. “Why should I make him look like a good Alpha? He isn’t!”
“He is the Alpha we have.” My father responded. “And you will do it because I command it.”
I flinched away from his Alpha tone of voice, the command of hundreds of alphas before him knocking the wind out of me. All I could do was nod and lower my head in respect.
—————————
“You have to take this seriously.”
“Okay.” Noah replied nonchalantly, making my blood boil. It was bad enough he was my mate, but now it was my responsibility to rehabilitate his horrible image? I would rather my throat be ripped out.
“This isn’t fun and games, Noah. My pack duties are serious.” I informed him, but the look he was giving me led me to believe he highly doubted that. Fine. Let me show him what it’s truly like to be the future Alpha. “Fine. Follow me.” I said curtly, turning in the opposite direction. I had planned to take him to the pack hospital today, since I needed to pick up suppressants anyway, but that could wait. Noah needed to be knocked down a few pegs.
“Micah!” Malu, a member of the pack called out to me as I entered the sparring quarters. She looked frazzled as always, arms full of bloody rags. “I’m so glad you’re here!” She cried, dropping the rags on the floor and rushing to envelope me in a hug.”
“Malu, this is Noah. He’s the future Alpha.” I introduced him to her, trying to keep my voice even as I said this. Did I sound bitter? I hoped not. Malu released me, the smile sliding off her face like water. Her eyes narrowed, her signature blood chilling glare turned on Noah who appeared to visibly tense.
“I saw the match.” Was her response, still heavily glaring. “Thankfully it did not take place here. We don’t allow such underhanded tactics.”
“Malu,” I stepped in before Noah could react and make the situation even worse. He was already disliked and although that wasn’t my fault, I knew my father would be angry if he became even more well liked. “I brought Noah here to help with some of the negotiations. Are there any going on right now?”
“Ha! What do you think?” She scoffed, motioning to the pile of bloody towels again. “But-“
“Just give me the list, Malu. Don’t worry about it. We got it.” I cut her off, wanting to keep Noah in the dark for as long as possible. Malu blinked at me, clear concern on her face. “Really, I can handle it and it will be a good introduction for your future Alpha.” Realization seemed to dawn on her as I said this.
“I see.” She smiled. “Let me go grab the forms. I’ll be right back.”
As soon as she was out of sight, Noah was leaning into me, clearly confused. I took a large step away, suddenly self conscious about my situation. I was producing ambrosia and while most wolves wouldn’t notice, Noah definitely would. “What?” I snapped.
“Why are we here? Are you planning to spar with me?” he asked, choosing to ignore my evasiveness and bad attitude.
“No. We’re here on pack business.” I explained.
“What pack business could you have here?” He frowned. “Do you teach a sparring class or something?”
“Here you go. Sorry for the wait.” Malu interrupted, coming back to hand me a clipboard full of forms.
“Thanks, Malu. Is anyone giving you a hard time?” I asked, flipping through the forms quickly.
“Who isn’t?” She joked. “Most of the negotiations are going okay, except…”
“Except?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow.
“Number seven.” She sighed. “You’ll want to read the form.”
I frowned, flipping to form seven and skimming the report provided. “Oh, that’s not good…”
“No, not at all.” Malue sighed again. “They’ve been at it for hours and there’s no end in sight. I tried to step in, but that didn’t help. Ended up in a bloody pile up. I had to send two of my helpers to the hospital. They’re still in there going at it. I was worried I’d have to get your father involved.”
“Don’t bother with that. I’ve got it.” I assured her.
“You’re a lifesaver Micah.” Malu thanked me, giving Noah one last parting glare before picking up her bloody towels and leaving the check in area.
“Can you explain what all that was?” Noah asked once she was gone.
“My duties.” I said shortly. Noah’s amber eyes narrowed at me, the heat in them made me stiffen. I felt my body tense and, horrifically, drip ambrosia into the previously dry pad. I cleared my throat, taking another step back. My eyes were on the form now, trying to ignore my body. “Sparring quarters aren’t just for training. Some pack disputes, bad ones, end up here. We call them ‘negotiations’. Essentially, sometimes beating the shit out of each other helps pack members to get over their issues. They go to my father and request a negotiation. My father will approve it and then hand it over to Malu and her team. They schedule the negotiation, have the pack members come in, and let them duke it out.”
“Does that actually work?” Noah asked.
“Most of the time. Malu and her team watch the fights, make sure everything is above the belt, and steps in if need be. In tough cases, you might have to start reasoning with them to get them to settle it or physically break it up. If that doesn’t work, then my father has to get involved again. Usually, I take care of those for him.” I answered. “But now that’s your job.”
“So you break up fights?” He chuckled. “But you’re so…”
“So…?”
“Small.”
“Eat shit.” I scoffed, slapping him in the chest with the clipboard. “Let’s see how you do then. Go over the form before we go in.”
“Why?”
“Noah, seriously?” I snatched the clipboard back. “You need to know what they’re fighting about before you go in. It’s important for defusing the situation.”
“I wouldn’t think so. They’re already fighting.”
I ignored him, reading over the form again. “It’s between brothers. It’s a mate dispute.” I summarized. “They’re rare, but it happens.”
“What’s a mate dispute?”
“It’s just a fight centered around mating, but it can vary depending on the situation. In this case, the younger brother has filed the mate dispute. Apparently they didn’t even try mediation. The younger brother requested negotiation right away and the older brother agreed.” I told him. I kept reading, feeling my heart give a painful wrench at the information on the form. “The younger brother, Nile, had a long time girlfriend named Veri. They were fairly confident they would be mates so they had a very serious relationship. His older brother, Von, recently reached age to sense his mate and, unfortunately, it’s Veri. Veri still loves Nile, Nile wants to be with Veri, and Von wants Veri. So they’re fighting.”
“Seem’s like Nile is in the wrong.” Noah pointed out.
“There is no wrong here.” I countered. “Just bad luck. And it’s not for us to pick a side. We’re facilitating their healing. That is all.”
“By letting them beat each other up?”
“It’s more than that. You’ll see.” I motioned for him to follow me and headed toward room seven, where the feuding brothers would be. The closer we got, the louder it became and i recognized the scent of blood flooding my nostrils. I looked back at Noah who seemed to be smelling the same thing. We reached the door and I hesitated a moment, wondering if this was going too far to teach Noah a lesson. However, the cocky look on his face flooded me with rage and I realized I very much wanted to watch him fail. “Alright, Noah. Show me what you got.” I threw open the door, stepping in with a confidence that came from years of mediating these fights.
“Fuck you!” The curse made me jump and I instinctively grabbed Noah’s hand, pulling him out of the way as two large males crashed into the entrance of the room.
“Watch out.” I warned Noah. “Their wolves are usually in control. They’re not paying their surroundings any attention.”
“I hate you, Von! I fucking hate you!” The smaller man, I assumed he was Nile, cursed. He punched his elder brother in the jaw and then stumbled back as his brother attempted to tackle him.
There was so much blood, so much so I wasn’t sure who was bleeding. Both looked battered and bruised, with busted lips and brows. Bite marks covered both their bodies, most likely from an earlier fight in their wolf form. “This is too much blood. It means they aren’t healing fast enough to keep up with their fight. We need them to stop, at least for a break.”
“So i’ll just break it up.” Noah volunteered.
“It’s not that easy. Wait, Noah! I said it’s-” I stopped talking as he approached the boys wrestling on the floor.
“Hey, guys. It’s time for a break.” He declared.
“Oh, Noah.” I groaned.
“Guys. I said-“
He wasn’t able to finish that statement as the younger brother lunged at him, knocking him off his feet. “Shit!” I grasped, watching as the brothers turned their rage on him, which I knew would happen. They were practically feral at this point. They wanted to kill each other so bad they were willing to kill anyone who tried to stop them.
Noah was big, that was true, but he was caught off guard and clearly unprepared for the situation. He didn’t know these men would want to kill him. Still shocked, he threw a couple punches, trying to get back on his feet. “You fucking feral flea bags!” Noah was cursing, making the men even angrier. A part of me enjoyed watching him getting the shit kicked out of him, but the sane part of me nagged at the edge of my conscience, trying to make me feel guilty. I tried to swat that emotion away, but when one punch busted Noah’s lip open, I realized I would have to step in.
I walked toward the scuffle, approaching calmly so as not to make them turn on me. “Von. Von!” I called, trying to get the older wolves attention. “Von, I’m Alpha Collin’s son. My father sent me here. He sent me here with my mate. He’s the man you’re hitting.” Von appeared to hear me, his eyes regaining clarity for a moment. “Please, he’s my mate. I don’t want him hurt.”
Von clenched his teeth, getting off of Noah and taking a few steps back. Noah took this chance to shove Nile off of him and stagger back to his feet. I grabbed his arm, yanking him toward me and back toward the wall. “Thank you, Von. I knew you would understand how important a mate is.”
Nile scoffed, standing to his feet. “More important than his brother and loyalty, right brother?”
“What do you want from me, Nile? She’s my mate! She should be with me! This is not my choice, but the will of the goddess!” Von yelled back.
“She doesn’t want you!” Nile argued. “She loves me!”
“Because she has yet to know me!” Von shot back. “If you loved her, you wouldn’t deny her this!”
This seemed to push Nile over the edge again and he lunges at Von, knocking him to the ground. “Nile! Nile, listen to me. What is Von’s crime? How has he wronged you?” I asked, still maintaining a distance as Nile punched his brother in the face.
“Veri is mine! I love her! She was supposed to be my mate. She-she was supposed to be mine!” Nile cried. “Von knows that and yet- yet he still wants her!”
“I wish I didn’t.” Von spoke, the fight seeming to leave him. Nile took this chance to wrap his hands around his brother’s throat. “I wish that I didn’t feel the pull. I wish that I could wish she was yours.”
“Just leave us alone!” Nile sobbed, his grip tightening on his brother’s neck. “Just let us be together! Just- just give her to me.”
“Please kill me.” Von responded, closing his eyes. Noah tensed, stepping forward to pull Nile off, but I stopped him. Nile seemed to tense at his brother’s words as well, loosening his grip on his neck. “I just want to be dead. To die by your hand would offer me peace. I never wanted this. All my life, all our lives, we have loved and protected one another. To fight you like this, I don’t think I can do it anymore. So please kill me. Kill me and be with Veri. Love her and cherish her like I might have done if fate weren’t so cruel. I just… take me from this world. Take me away from this awful existence where loving my mate devastated my brother. Take me from this world where my mate doesn’t love me. Put me out of my misery, please.”
Nile’s eyes softened, seeing his brother’s agony possibly for the first time. Nile released his brothers throat, tears streaming down his face, washing away hours worth of blood and sweat. “I can’t. I love you, Von. I just… I love her too. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I love her.”
Von sat up, wrapping his younger brother in his arms. “I will go.”
“What?” Noah gasped, but I shushed him.
“I will leave this pack. I will create distance. Y- you can have her.” Von choked out this last statement, the sound so heart wrenching I had to clench my chest. “I love you both. I love you both so much I can hardly breathe under the weight. So I will leave here and I will go far away.”
“Von-” Nile spoke, but was cut off as Von released him and stood to his feet.
“Love her. Promise me. Promise me you will love her as if she were truly yours, that you would never cast her aside, even if your mate appeared.” Von demanded. “Promise to be together for all your days. Swear this to me so that I can walk away.”
“I swear it.” Nile spoke and I knew he meant it. “Thank you, Von. Thank you!” Nile bowed his head to the floor, on his hands and knees before his brother. “Forgive me. Please. Forgive my selfishness.”
“Whats happening?” Noah whispered in my ear.
“Retribution. Old school wolf tradition.” I whispered back as Nile groveled on his hands and knees before his brother, sobbing, apologizing and kissing his feet. “It’s the truest apology there is. It’s to lower yourself as low as possible and to beg for forgiveness. It’s basically submission to the others will. I’ve only seen it done a few times, and usually by older wolves, but I understand why he does it now.”
“You do?” Noah frowned.
“Von is willingly stepping aside. He’s accepted the pain in place of his brother. He’ll live his whole life alone, essentially in exile.” I told him. “Giving up your mate, it’s the greatest sacrifice.”
Noah continued to watch Nile apologize. “I… I could never do that.” Noah mumbled.
“You would never have to.” I assured him. “You’re going to be Alpha. Alpha’s don’t apologize this way. Ever.”
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