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CHAPTER 21:
Everyone was acting suspicious.
After the weeklong fuckfest that left me practically wheelchair bound for a few days, everyone seemed to be acting like everything was absolutely normal… except they weren’t doing a very good job. They were too sneaky, sharing knowing looks together when they thought I wasn’t looking. On multiple occasions they had chosen to completely leave the room to have a conversation.
“What’s going on?” I pouted at Von, who seemed to have been charged with never leaving my side when Noah and Nico were off on Alpha/Beta duties.
“What do you mean, Luna?”
I gagged, already annoyed with all the Luna bullshit people had been on since we were given the title. I wasn’t allowed to do anything as Luna it seemed. My mom assured me once I had my first child all the pampering and pawing would stop, but I couldn’t wait that long. Everytime I turned the corner someone was trying to pat my stomach or even carry me home. If I tried to help Nadi, I was shooed away. Everyone was insisting I rest, relax, chill… had they ever met me? “You know and I know whether I’m sitting or standing, I’m pregnant. I shared a heat with my mate, unprotected.” I pointed out, wondering if everyone had somehow forgotten.
“Right… I think we’re all quite certain of that.” Von responded, suddenly more interested in our kitchen curtains.
“So if that’s the case, why can’t I go anywhere?”
“Well… you’re carrying very precious cargo. You’ve got the future alpha cooking in there, right? Like seventh generation Alpha… so…” He trailed off, noticing how I didn’t seem convinced. “Listen, I could care less. I’ve seen you fight. You could knock a man my size on his ass easy, but the Alpha has his mind made up… and it doesn’t hurt that Nico’s on board too.”
“Nico? So they’re both conspiring against me?”
“It’s not as sinister as you think. They both know how you are… and apparently that’s quite a piece of work. They just want you to get through the early stages of the pregnancy. I’m sure once you’re confirmed to be with child they’ll lay off.” Von tried to appease me.
“There’s more.” I realized, watching as Von’s shoulders tensed. “Noah getting on my case? Sure. He likes to feel like the protector and let’s be honest… I don’t think he totally understands pregnancy to begin with. But Nico? Nico knows I can handle myself… so what’s he worried about me getting involved in?”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“You’re a bad liar, Von.” I stood up from the kitchen table, annoyed as Von stood up too. “Tell me where they are. I’m going.”
“You’re not. The Alpha would publicly lash me for allowing- nevermind. Sit. Relax. You’re the only person in the world this desperate to be busy!”
“You could tell me where they are or I could publicly lash you.” I threatened.
“Luna-“
“Stop calling me that! Goddess, I hate this!” I cried. “I’m perfectly healthy! So why is everyone treating me like I’m made of glass? Why are they sneaking around? They never treated my mom like this! I don’t understand how i’m a prisoner in my own home yet again!”
“Listen, if it makes you feel any better, I agree. You’re not being treated like this because you’re Luna now, but I can’t be the one to tell you.” Von looked around the room, making sure we were really alone. “Look, Nico’s the weak link here. You ask him the right questions, he’ll crack. When Nico comes over for lunch today… ask him what we found in the forest during your bonding ceremony. He’s going to be vague. So keep pressing.”
“You… you’re helping me break Nico… why?”
Von smiled, the tense mood lightening, “I figured us big brothers have to stick together… plus, he’s mentioned you put in a good word for me… on multiple occasions.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “In fact, i think he said you called me sexy in front of your own mate.”
“Absolutely not.” I scoffed. “In fact, I think I said I didn’t puke when I looked at you.”
“Really?” Von smirked. “I wonder how Nico got that mixed up.”
“His listening skills aren’t the best.”
“Right.” Von chuckled. “Well, either way, thank you for that. Your blessing means a lot to him… and so it means a lot to me.”
“Blessing? I wouldn’t go that far. He’s my precious baby brother. You think I’d hand him over to anyone who asks? You’ll have to do a lot more to earn a blessing… starting with never fooling around in my old bedroom again.”
I got up from the table just as his jaw dropped.
——————
“Hello? Anyone home?” Nico called as he entered the front door, rushing up to me the second he saw me coming down the stairs. “Wait, let me help you. Where is Von? He should be with you.”
“I can walk down the stairs on my own, thank you very much.” I scoffed, swatting his hand away.
“Still… safer to get some help.” Nico insisted. “And how is my little niece or nephew? Any movement yet?”
“It’s way too early.” I groaned. “You guys are really getting ahead of yourself.”
“Ama said she felt us after only a few weeks. It’s been two weeks since your heat. It could happen any day now.” Nico was beaming, so much so I decided just to let him be excited. If he wanted to gush over a baby that was barely even coming into existence, a recently fertilized egg I suppose, well i’d let him. Afterall, I was about to dig into him.
As Nico helped me to the couch, guiding my steps as if I was far more pregnant than I could possibly be, I put on my most casual face. “By the way, what ever happened that day in the forest?”
“Hmm? What day?” Nico asked, lowering me to the couch. “Are you hungry? Put your feet up.”
I ignored his pampering, instead focusing on the real issue at hand. “The day of my bonding ceremony, Ama sent you and Von deeper into the forest because we smelled sun kingdom people. What did you find?”
“Oh… that? Not much.” Nico chuckled, avoiding catching my eye. “Can’t believe you were able to even remember that after the pounding Noah gave you.”
Usually a comment like that would embarrass me to no end, effectively ending the conversation. However, armed with Von’s warning, I knew this was just deflection. “So what did you find?” I repeated myself, continuing to stare at him as he ran from my gaze into the kitchen.
“Nothing big, just some sun kingdom troops.” Nico answered. “Are you sure you aren’t hungry? You’re eating for two… maybe even three.”
“What were they doing this far into our land?” I continued to question.
“That’s the million dollar question.” Nico chuckled, and began to bang around in the kitchen. “How about some tea? Decaf of course-“
“Why are you being so vague?” I finally asked.
“What? No, I’m not.” He cried, instantly defensive. “Why are you asking so many questions, anyway?”
“Because you haven’t answered any of them.” I pointed out. “You’re obviously hiding something.”
“No, not obviously… it’s not a big deal.” Nico snapped. “Why can’t you just rest like normal pregnant people? You’re stressing yourself over nothing and that’s why people hide things from you.”
“I get it.” I realized. “You guys think what you saw will stress me out, so you’re keeping it from me… but it’s big enough that the rest of the pack knows… which is why everyone is acting so weird and trying to keep me home.”
“What? I didnt… no… I didn’t say…” Nico stomped back to the couch, glaring down at me. “Did Von tell you.”
“No, I swear.” I told him honestly. “You all are just really obvious.”
“Micah… Noah is going to be so mad if I tell you.” Nico whined. “Not just Noah… Ama and Apa too. It was their idea to keep it from you at least until you were farther along in the pregnancy. Stress can cause miscarriages you know?”
“Nico, tell me.” I insisted. “You know me better than anyone. Don’t you think I can take it?”
“It’s not that…” Nico groaned, looking at me and then quickly looking away. “I know you’ll want to get involved… and it’s not something we can do anything about.”
“Nico, please, tell me.” I repeated again, sitting up onto my knees and forcing him to look at me. “Please?”
Nico closed his eyes, cursing the Goddess under his breath.
———————
“The human they keep was named king?” I cried, entering my fathers office without so much as knocking. Noah, who had been using it as his own in what appeared to be an effort to hide it all from me, cursed when he saw me. “The blood slave is a king?”
“Who told you? Who told him?” Noah demanded, turning his attention away from me and to the guilty looking Von and Nico in the doorway. “It’s been two weeks guys! Come on!”
“You come on!” I yelled, snapping his attention back to me. “A blood slave, who actually isn’t a blood slave but the most powerful blood angel in existence, gets named king and no one wants to mention it to me?”
“Micah, cam down. You’re too worked up.” Noah sighed, coming around his desk to try to coax me into a chair.
“You know what has never calmed anyone down in the history of ever? Telling them to just calm down!” I continued to yell. “Why would you keep something like this from me?”
“I wonder.” Nico grumbled from the doorway. I shot him a dirty look and he quickly exited the room, pulling Von along with him.
“I should’ve been informed. We said we would do this together! You said- ow.” I gripped my side, grabbing a nearby chair for support.
“Micah!” In a second everyone in earshot was suddenly in the room and several pairs of hands were trying to support me at once.
“Stop. Stop! I’m fine. It’s just a cramp. I ran here and I haven’t run in a while. No thanks to you.” I continued to glower at Noah.
“You should still go see Nadi. I had some complications in my first pregnancy and male pregnancies are notoriously much more strenuous.” My mom was rambling, trying to pull me from the office.
“Wait! I’m fine!” I whined.
“Just a quick check up.” My father insisted, joining the efforts to pull me away.
“Hey, I said i’m fine!”
——————
“It’s a good thing you came in. You certainly weren’t fine.” Nadi finally announced, much to everyone’s shock, especially mine.
“I don’t understand.” I cried. “I feel perfectly healthy.”
“You are.” Nadi assured me, making me frown. “Let me explain. You are perfectly healthy and at the very beginning of your pregnancy! Congratulations.”
“So what’s wrong then?” My mom spoke up. “Is something the matter with the baby?”
“Babies, you mean.” Nadi’s grin widened. “Two to be exact. Tiny little pups, but they’re there.”
“Twins!” My mom shrieked in glee, gripping my shoulders even tighter. My dad cheered and Nico patted my leg. Noah seemed to still be in shock.
“Now… the issue is twins, especially for a male carrier, it’s quite a high risk situation. Males tend to deliver earlier and twins tend to also come early. With that compounded risk, you worry for premature labor. Additionally, the pain Micah experienced is due to one very active pup. WIth a pup that active, you worry about risk of placenta detachment, harming the other pup, even setting up early contractions and beginning labor before they’re ready. With these kinds of risks, Micah really must be very careful. He should practically be on bedrest aside from some mild exercise, supervised, of course and-“
“You’re kidding!” I cut her off. “I feel fine! The pups are fine!”
“They are.” Nadi assured me. “The concern is just increased risk-“
“How increased?”
“You mean… like a number?” Nadi frowned.
“Yup.”
“Micah, enough.” My mom interjected.
“I just want to know the actual risk.” I insisted. “Nadi?”
“Well… the combined risk of premature labor probably puts you at about a 50% chance you’ll deliver at or before two months. The gestation period is anywhere from two and a half to three months so every week in the womb really counts. As for placenta detachment and other issues with the pups in utero… I would say you’re about twice as likely compared to a single pup pregnancy.” Nadi explained.
“That’s not that bad.” I pointed out.
“Micah!” My mom cried.
“What? I feel fine! There’s absolutely no-“
“You’re on bedrest.” Noah declared. “You’ll go nowhere and see no one unless Nadi says it’s alright.”
“What? No!” I cried.
“And you won’t do anything without me with you.” he continued.
“You’re being impossible.” I insisted.
“Micah…” My mom whispered. “Stop, darling.”
“No! You are not my keeper and you will not order me around like some tyrant!” I poked Noah in his chest, far too worked up to listen to any reason. “You don’t get to decide what is or isn’t up for debate.”
“Micah, I order you as Alpha to remain home. You won’t go anywhere without my permission.” Noah repeated himself, this time with a bit of his Alpha power in his voice. I flinched back, the sensation weird and heavy given that my father had never had a reason to use it on me.
“Um…” nadi spoke up, easing the tension. “I can give you guys some take home instructions.”
——————–
“Are you still pouting?” Noah sighed, entering the bedroom I had been confined to. It had been a week already and I was going crazy. I turned my back to him, pretending to be asleep. “I saw your eyes open.”
“Eat shit.”
“I’ll let that slide as pregnancy hormones.” Noah sighed, climbing into bed beside me. He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me back against his chest. “I missed you.”
“I… I can admit… I reacted badly about the pregnancy stuff.” I sighed, relaxing in his hold. Maybe… maybe I could try a different approach rather than simply icing him out. That didn’t seem to be working at all. “It was a lot on me all at once.”
“I know my love.” He placed a kiss to the back of my head.
“But… but why did you keep so much from me?” I asked.
“What? What do you mean?”
“You should have told me about the blood slave…The king Cyan. You should have told me.” I informed him,continuing just as he opened his mouth to argue. “Hiding things from me does not make me less stressed. It makes me more stressed. I need to feel like I’m helping. If I can’t… i feel helpless and it gives me so much anxiety.”
Noah listened, resting his head beside mine as I explained just how anxious all the sneaking around had made me. I explained my fear, my worries, the anxiety that accompanied the unknown and all the while he listened, stroking my hair as I spoke. When I was finished, he stayed quiet for a while, mulling over all I had laid before him. Finally, he spoke. “I understand. I should have handled this better. I wanted to protect you, but you’re right. I made it worse. I should have talked to you about it. It isn’t fair to keep you in the dark.”
“You really believe that?”
“I do. Once again, you’re right.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“Never.” He smiled at me, stroking my cheek. “You’re smarter than i’ll ever be. I should know better by now than to disagree.”
“I mean… yes you should.” I teased.
“You’re an overqualified Luna.” His smile faltered. “You should be in my position instead.”
“What do you mean?” I frowned. “Did something happen?”
“Happen? No.” He tried to smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Honestly, I think maybe I’m just in over my head.”
“Why would you say that?” When he hesitated, I pressed again. “Noah, talk to me. Please.”
“No one has any respect for me. I know that respect is earned… but it seems nothing I do earns me any.” He blurted out, and with those words the flood gates opened. “The pack barely tolerates me. Most decisions have to be given by Nico otherwise there’s eye rolls and ‘what would the Luna think of this?’ and then when we meet with Alphas from other packs, they talk down to me the whole time. They insult your father, they insult me, hell one even tried to insult you, but I stopped him before he could finish and warned him to watch his mouth. So you know what they did? They told me to take my tantrum outside. When I’m not defending your father or myself, I’m weak. If I defend you, I’m a brat. What can I do? I want to make you proud. I want to lead our pack with dignity and grace… but no one accepts me.”
“The honest truth? The pack hardly ever accepted me. I got by on the respect they owed my father and from beating up so many guys twice my size.” I admitted. “I do so much in the pack to endear me to people who otherwise rolled their eyes at me, but the truth is not everyone liked me then either. Your father certainly didn’t and he wasn’t alone in that. Being Alpha is a thankless job… but I promise, one day, you’ll hit your stride. All good alphas do. And you are a good alpha, Noah. I promise you. I wouldn’t have given my title away if I didn’t believe it.” With that, I changed my tone. “As for the other Alphas… they’re all just bullies. Those alpha meetings are essentially just dick measuring contests. They’ll be upset no matter what you say. They’ve given my father shit for years and he mostly just let them have their way. However, they’ll keep ganging up on you until you put them in their place. My father did it once and it shut them up for quite a while. So what you want to do, the next time you meet, at the first snarky comment made, bash the guys face in.”
“What?”
“Get up, maybe pretend to be calm and collected, go up behind him, and bash his face into the desk over and over and over again until he stops fighting back. Then sit back down and continue the meeting.” I explained. “I know it sounds barbaric… but they are. A lot of these men are old alphas who continue to refuse to pass on the alpha title yet, which means they’re weak and kind of senile in some cases. They respond only to brute strength. My dad broke one guys back and now they keep their smart ass comments to behind his back at least.”
“So you’re suggesting… I physically assault another Alpha?” Noah clarified, clearly still shocked.
“You are The Alpha and, fortunately, it’s kind of your right. You get to do what you want. They’re in their position solely because you allow them to be.” I chuckled at his shocked face. “And don’t let the power go to your head.”
———————–
Two weeks on bed rest and I was sure I would go insane. I was kind of living through Noah, who came into the room often to regale me with tales of beating an alpha to a pulp or getting so and so pack member to show him an ounce of respect. It was fun brainstorming with him, giving him ideas on what to say or do to accomplish what he needed to get done.
Still… I was so very bored.
Being on bed rest was kind of like being in a coma except I was forced to experience each agonizingly slow second. So… I had taken up eavesdropping. It was easier now that Noah moved his office into our house so people came and went as they pleased. I overheard countless scandals, like so and so’s daughter ran off with a nymph sex cult and whatshisnames son built a sex dungeon in his house. I knew secrets about wolves who insisted on having sex in their wolf form and secrets from someone who insisted they didn’t like sex and had never gone into heat at all. I ate up every bit of gossip I could, desperate to make the seconds pass quicker. Unfortunately, today was an especially slow news day. Noah was out and so the house was pretty much empty as there was no longer an alpha to complain to.
Someone was supposed to stop by to check on me and make sure I didn’t need anything, but that seemed so far away. I stared up at the ceiling, wondering what Nico seemed to find so interesting about every Ceiling he encountered.
“I said don’t follow me.” I jumped as the front door slammed. I sniffed the air, noting that Nico and Von had arrived for my midday pampering. I tried not to groan at the thought. “Now go before Micah notices you’re here.” Nico snapped, trying to keep his voice low.
“No. Let Micah hear. I’m tired of you running away from this conversation.” Von declared, his voice unusually stern.
“I am not running away.” Nico hissed. “I am just not humoring this kind of talk. I said no and I meant it.”
“Nico… I know you’re my one.” Von proclaimed with such earnesty it tugged at my own heart. “I want to drink from the stream.”
“No.” Nico said without any hesitation.
“Nico, I can’t live like this! I can’t handle my brother at our window every night! I can’t take watching you in tears with him! I don’t want to share you. I won’t.”
“Then go.” Nico’s abrupt response almost made me gasp.
“You can’t mean that.” Von cried.
“I can’t? Get your stuff and get out of my house. You’ve overstayed your welcome.” Nico said this calmly, so calm I knew he must be bluffing.
“All of this so you don’t have to admit to yourself you love me too?” Von scoffed. “You’re content to be my brother’s side piece forever just to save yourself anymore pain?”
“Don’t talk as if you understand my situation.” Nico warned. “Maybe you’re just too cocky. Have you ever even considered that?”
“Yes.” Von answered instantly. “But it works out anyway because i’d rather die than live in a world without you as mine.”
“Why isn’t this enough?”
“Half a mate? Half a love?” Von sighed. “Don’t you think we deserve more?” Those were my words, I realized numbly. Von was using my own words. I didn’t know if I should be touched or terrified nico would find out.
“I- fuck. Noah’s calling. I have to go. Look after my brother and… and stop with the nonsense.” Nico groaned.
“I won’t stop.”
Nico sighed, a tired, sad sigh. “Then you should leave. You should go somewhere far away from here and I promise I won’t follow.”
The front door slammed again and I sat up in bed, rocking myself a bit as the tiny bulge in my belly made it harder to sit up. I was standing just as Von made it to my door. “You alright, Luna?”
“Do you really love my brother how you say you do?” I asked instead.
“So you heard us?”
“Answer my question.”
Von sighed, obviously tired. “I wish he would let me love him how he deserved. I wish he would give me a chance.”
“And what if you’re wrong and you die?” I asked.
“All the better. Nico shouldn’t have to love me any longer than necessary.” Von chuckled sadly.
“What if you make things more complicated?”
“Then i’ll deserve it.”
“Right.” I nodded, staring down at my slight bump. Nico will never forgive you, I told myself, think rationally. I looked up, giving Von a sad smile. “Do you want to take me on my walk?”
————————-
“My phone is ringing off the hook.” Von noted as we trekked deeper into the forest.
“Yeah, Noah probably noticed I was gone the second we left the clearing.” I informed him, taking a careful step over an overgrown root. “They’re probably just now putting two and two together. The goal is to get there before they find us so we should hustle a little more.” Von grabbed my elbow, helping over an overturned tree trunk. “It would be faster if I could phase but… you know, might cause premature labor.”
“I understand. You’re doing more than enough.” Von assured me, keeping hold of me as we fast walked toward the caves. “Luna… Micah… I can’t express how much this means to me.”
“I get it. Just try not to die. I’d hate to face an angry Alpha and Beta alone.” I joked just as we reached the caves entrance. Von hesitated, grabbing his head. “It’s fine. Don’t fight it. Just accept it and walk in.” I coached him, entering the cave myself.
After a couple shaky steps, Von relaxed, rushing in after me. I stopped at the edge of the stream, letting Von reach me. “So… that’s it?”
“Yup? Not so scary looking on it’s own.” I chuckled, turning to look at him. He was staring into the flowing water, an unreadable expression on his face. “You don’t have to do this. You can change your mind. I won’t think less of you.”
“Yes you will.” he laughed, keeping his eyes on the stream. “I wonder if I should say some last words or leave a message for Nico… just in case…”
“I promise to make you sound cool, even if you sound lame.” I assured him.
He laughed, shaking his head as he got to his knees in front of the stream. “Don’t tell Nico I love him or anything. It would just make it harder for him. Tell him I did it because I needed to know and he shouldn’t feel any guilt. He warned me. I chose not to listen. I’m sorry… I just had to know.”
My stomach twisted. If Von died… would Nico ever forgive me? Had I reacted hastily to Von’s plight? Before I could fully change my mind, von dunked his cupped hands in the stream, pulling them out and bringing them to his lips.
“Noo!” I nearly jumped out of my skin at the scream that echoed against the cavern walls. Nico was at the Cave’s entrance, naked, having just ran here full force in wolf form. Noah followed close behind. “What have you done?” Nico cried, his voice breaking as Von brought his hands down, slowly standing to his feet.
For a second my heart soared… and then he collapsed to the ground like a ragdoll.
“Von!” Nico was sobbing, big, wet, sloppy tears as he ran toward Von’s collapsed body, pulling him into his lap and trying to shake him awake.
“Micah! What happened?” Noah was at my side, grabbing my shoulders and turning me to face him. “Why did you bring Von here? Micah?” When he saw I wasn’t responding he turned to Nico. “Is he breathing? Is he okay?”
“How could you?” Nico screamed, getting to his feet and charging toward me. Noah got between us, holding Nico away as gently as he could. “I told you not to! I told you!”
“He- he said he had to know.” I spoke, my voice so unsure. “He was willing to die for you.”
“I don’t care!” Nico yelled, attempting to lunge at me again. “I just wanted him to live! I wanted him to live… for me.”
“He… he said he had to know. He wasn’t scared. He was willing to risk it.” I was repeating myself now.
“I was scared! You piece of-” Noah stumbled as Nico lunged again. “Fuck! Fucking hell, Micah!” Nico turned away from us, sinking down to his knees beside Von again. He continued to cry, his whole body shaking with the force of his sobs.
“Shit, what the fuck do they want?” Noah cursed, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He answered it with a gruff, “What?” After a few seconds Noah’s face changed. “What? How? Fuck… alright. Alright we’re coming. Yes. Yes, alright.”
“Did something happen?” I asked , tearing my eyes away from Nico.
“Yes… Nile collapsed.” Noah announced, halting Nico’s crying. “He’s in… like a coma. Von might be in one too. We should take him back to Nadi.”
“Right.” I agreed, following Noah to Von’s body. I bent down, ready to help him up when Nico pulled him away.
“Don’t touch him.” Nico growled at me. “You stay the fuck away from me, Micah.”
“I… I want to help.” I tried.
“I don’t want your help, Micah. Stay away from me.” Nico spat, allowing Noah to take Von’s body in his arms.
“I… I was trying to do the right thing.” I said, both to Nico and myself.
Nico stood, leaving me kneeling on the floor alone. “You just don’t get it. I told you to leave it alone. I told you! It wasn’t worth the risk! Von loved me and I loved him! He would have stayed with me regardless. He didn’t have to drink! We knew everything we needed to know! Now… he could be dead. He could wake up and… and not love me anymore. He could never wake up at all… all because Micah has to always be right. You don’t get to decide how other people live!”
“He didn’t want to live like that!” I finally snapped. “He couldn’t live like that and so I helped him because you wouldn’t.”
“Help? This is your fucking help?” Nico yelled as I stood up. “You’re fucking pathetic!”
“And you’re selfish!” I yelled back.
“I will never forgive you… for as long as I live.” Nico sobbed, taking Von’s body from Noah and putting him over his back to carry himself. “You are dead to me.”
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