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I wake up and the sun is shining bright. I look at the alarm clock and the time is 2:32pm. Oh my gosh, I’ve slept all day. I guess I did go to sleep at 4am.
Vic’s no longer sleeping next to me, obviously he’d gone to school hours ago.
I decide that I should drag myself out of bed so I do just that. I then go over to my wardrobe and get changed before I fix my hair then leave the room just wanting to see Mama and Papa Fuentes.
When I was at home, I was almost always alone. The only time I wasn’t alone was around my parents and they weren’t exactly people that I wanted to be around. I really like being around Mama and Papa Fuentes. They’re really nice. Even Vic, though I don’t really like it when he’s around Mama and Papa Fuentes compared to us just being alone together. He acts differently around them. Distant, sad. It’s not the Vic I like to see.
I go downstairs and into the living room hoping to find Mama or Papa Fuentes and I end up finding Mama Fuentes sitting on the sofa.
“Kellin, you’re up!” She exclaims and she pats the spot next to her so I go sit down. “Did you have a late night Honey?”
I nod and she wraps her arm around my shoulder. I tense up a little, like usual, but then relax a few seconds later.
“What time did you go to sleep?” She asks concerned.
“Around four.” I answer truthfully and she looks at me shocked.
“Did you have another nightmare?” She asks and I shake my head.
“No, I just couldn’t sleep.” I reply.
“Do you need me to get you something to help you sleep? I can if you need it.” She offers but I shake my head.
“No thank you. I ap-appreciate it though.” I smile though I have trouble pronouncing appreciate.
She nods and ruffles my hair.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” She asks and I nod excitingly. I don’t remember the last time I watched a movie.
She gets up then goes over to the cabinet under the TV.
“Do you have any preferences?” She asks looking back at me and I shake my head so she nods, picking a random movie.
She puts in on before coming back to the sofa and sitting next to me. She wraps her arms around me and pulls me into her as the movie starts. I then learn it’s a movie called Happy Feet. I lean into Mama Fuentes as she holds me tightly in her arms. The feeling I get around her is so comforting. I wonder if this is what my mother was supposed to be like.
Though now I’ve realized something. The way I feel around Mama Fuentes isn’t like the way I feel around Vic. It’s so different but I really like both of them.
Around Mama Fuentes, I feel safe and comfortable. I feel like she’s going to be here looking after me forever, although that’s not true. I have no idea how long I’m even staying here for and when I leave, am I ever going to see Mama Fuentes, Papa Fuentes or Vic again?
The way I feel around Vic is completely different. I’m more anxious but not in a bad way, I just care more about what he thinks of me and that makes me scared that I’m going to screw up. I get a weird sensation in my stomach when we talk and I don’t know why. It’s just strange.
Papa Fuentes walks in the room about half an hour into the movie.
“Darling, can you get us some popcorn please?” Mama Fuentes asks with a hopeful smile.
“Of course.” Papa Fuentes chirps before leaving the room.
“I have some good news for you, Kell.” Mama Fuentes beams and I tear my gaze away from the TV to look at her giving her a curious look.
“What is it?” I ask.
“I got a call this morning. They said that you passed the tests so you’ll be able to start school next week.” She explains and my eyes go wide.
“W-what? Wow. That’s amazing.” I gush out surprised and excited.
“I told you you’d do it.” She smiles and I nod knowing she’s right.
“Thank you Mama Fuentes for letting me go back to school.” I smile resting my head against her shoulder.
“It’s not a problem Honey. So what do you think of the movie so far, Kell?” Mama Fuentes asks me.
“I think it’s great. I don’t think it’s fair that all the other penguins don’t like Mumble for being different. It’s sad that he can’t sing but he can dance and none of the other penguins can do that. That just makes him special because he’s different.” I say expressing my opinion on the movie so far.
“I agree.” Mama Fuentes grins. “You’re really smart Kellin.”
I give her a confused look and shake my head.
“You may not be very good at some things, like how Mumble can’t sing, but you’re great at others.” She says gently.
“Like how Mumble can dance.” I finish her sentence and she nods before kissing my temple. I smile lightly at that. I’ve been kissed once in my life and that was by that boy. But this kiss actually meant something. It was affectionate and caring.
“Exactly. You just have to find out what your dance is.” She concludes and I nod feeling a sense of hope fill me up. Maybe she’s right. Maybe there is something I’m good at. I just need to figure out what that is.
Papa Fuentes comes back into the room holding a bowl of popcorn. He passes it to Mama Fuentes before sitting down on the other side of me. He ruffles my hair before wrapping his arm around me then we go back to watching the movie.
I feel so happy right now, it’s bizarre. I’ve never been this happy before. I know that I shouldn’t think it but it’s like I have a mother and a father, ones that actually like me.
We all eat popcorn and watch the movie until the front door slams open making me jump. Back at home whenever the front door slammed open, it meant that Father was home and that he was angry.
Though instead of Father walking through the door, Vic does. He slams the door shut and puts his head down letting his hair cover his face but not before I see the tears running down his cheeks.
“Son what’s wrong?” Papa Fuentes asks Vic but he just runs up the stairs and a few seconds later a door slams shut.
“I’ll go check on him.” Papa Fuentes sighs before getting up and heading upstairs.
“What happened?” I ask Mama Fuentes sadly. I don’t like seeing Vic upset. I like the happy side of him.
“I’m not sure Honey. He probably just had a bad day.” Mama Fuentes says and I nod.
“I don’t like it when he’s sad.” I frown and she smiles lightly.
“He’s always sad these days.” She sighs.
“Not all the time. I like it when he’s happy.” I smile and she gives me a confused look.
“What do you mean? I haven’t seen that boy happy in a long time.” She explains.
“He’s happy when we’re alone sometimes. He smiles and laughs and he’s very nice.” I beam and Mama Fuentes gives me a sly smile.
“He must like you then because he acts like that around no one else.” She smiles though I can see the hurt look through it.
“It might just be because we’re the same age.” I point out in hopes to make her feel better and she nods looking considerate.
“Yeah, maybe he just needs a friend.” She nods smiling.
Papa Fuentes comes back into the room and sits down on the sofa.
“He’s not talking and he locked himself in the bathroom again. He sounds pretty upset.” He sighs.
Mama Fuentes sighs and frowns.
“I guess all we can do is wait.” Mama Fuentes sighs before we all go back to watching the movie, though I’m no longer enjoying it nor paying attention.
I’m worried about Vic. I wonder what made him so upset. I wish I could make him feel better. He was so nice to me last night and that made me happy so I just want to make him happy.
Soon there’s a worrying sound coming from the upstairs bathroom. It sounds like glass shattering. Mama and Papa Fuentes jump up before rushing upstairs and I follow, not wanting to be by myself. They go over to the bathroom and Papa Fuentes knocks on the door loudly.
“Vic, what happened? Are you okay?” He asks concerned.
Vic’s cursing to himself from inside the bathroom.
“Vic, honey, please just open the door. We’re all worried about you.” Mama Fuentes pleads.
“I-I smashed the mirror. I’m sorry.” Vic says, his voice shaky.
“It’s okay, honey. Just come out.” Mama Fuentes says reassuringly.
There’s a moment of silence before the lock on the door clicks then the door swings open. Mama Fuentes throws her arms around Vic but he just stands there crying.
“I’m sorry.” He sobs repeatedly.
“It’s okay, Sweetie. Are you hurt?” She asks pulling away and Vic holds up his hand. His knuckles are spit and bleeding with shards of glass in them.
“Oh, come downstairs and we’ll get this fixed up.” Mama Fuentes says calmly and Vic nods, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.
She grabs his wrist but he yanks it away before looking down. She gives him a concerned look before she just heads downstairs with him; Papa Fuentes and I following close behind.
We go back into the living room and Mama Fuentes sits Vic down on the sofa so I sit on the other one to give them space.
“I’ll go clean up the mess in the bathroom.” Papa Fuentes says and Mama Fuentes nods then Papa Fuentes leaves.
“I’m going to get the first aid kit. Are you okay waiting here?” Mama Fuentes asks Vic and he nods, still looking down.
She then leaves the room so Vic and I are alone.
“Are you okay?” I ask him softly and he looks up at me blankly.
“No.” He answers truthfully before looking back down.
Mama Fuentes walks back into the room with the first aid kit. She kneels down in front of Vic and grabs his hand lightly. She takes a pair of tweezers out of the first aid kit. She then starts picking glass out of his hand with them. He winces in pain but makes no complaints. She then cleans the blood off and bandages his hand up.
“Do you want to tell me why you smashed the mirror?” Mama Fuentes asks but Vic shakes his head.
“C-can I just go to bed?” Vic asks looking up at Mama Fuentes hopefully.
She sighs and nods.
“Only if Kellin goes with you. I don’t want you to be alone right now.” She says.
He nods and gives me a hopeful look. I give him a small smile and nod. He stands up and I follow as we walk up to our room together. He closes the door and gets into bed under the covers.
“Lay with me?” He asks softly and I nod giving him a small smile before I slide into bed with him.
He surprises me by wrapping his arm around my waist. We’re silent a for a little bit as I look at the tear tracks down his face and the pain in his eyes.
“Why did you smash the mirror?” I ask softly.
He looks down for a second before looking back at me.
“I hate my reflection.” He answers and my heart strains. Why does he hate his reflection?
“Why?” I ask confused.
“I just don’t like the person I am.” He replies.
“I like you.” I smile and he returns one of his own.
“At least someone does.”
“Your parents like you too.” I say matter-of-factly.
“They wouldn’t if they knew…” He says trailing off.
“Knew what?” I ask interested.
“Nothing.” He brushes it off. “It doesn’t matter.”
I frown but he just nuzzles his face in my neck, closing his eyes. I don’t move, just enjoying his breathing on my neck. Then soon enough he falls asleep. I smile as I run my fingers along his hand that’s resting on my waist. I like being in his arms. It makes me feel safe and cared for.
As I run my fingers up further I feel something weird. It feels wet and rough. I look down at my fingers and notice blood on them. I start freaking out, trying to work out where the blood is coming from then I notice that Vic’s sleeve has been lifted up a little. I then see the cut on his arm. It’s slowly oozing out blood. I gently roll up his sleeve to get a better look at it, only to discover more, and more, and more. I gasp at the sight. Some of them look brand new and some look older, then there’s some scars. I can’t help the tears that well up in my eyes.
He did this to himself? Why? He’s so perfect. How could he hurt himself like this?
I pull his sleeve down, not quite sure what to do about the bleeding cut. I sigh, letting a few tears fall before I take his hand in mine. I don’t know if this is okay or not but right at this moment, I just need to do it. I don’t know why. Maybe to remind myself that I still have ahold of him, that he’s not slowly slipping away, even though I know he is. How could he do this? How could anyone do this?
Not being able to stand the thought any longer, I just close my eyes and softly cry myself to sleep.
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