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“Do you want kimchi?”
“We had that last time. Wouldn’t you rather I cook something?”
“Isn’t that a lot of work?”
“Yah, remember I don’t have anyone to cook for now.” Hyeori started, swinging her hand, her fingers laced with Sieun’s as they walked toward the bus stop. “Sooho always made me keep my fridge full.”
“Don’t you have food now?”
“Of course I do, but I mean I miss cooking for someone.” She murmured, lowering her gaze a little. “It’s not the same cooking for yourself as it is for people you really care about.”
“Last time it gave me a stomachache.”
“Yah.” The brunette complained, nudging him with her shoulder. “That was your fault, I told you the soy sauce would give you heartburn and you didn’t listen to me.”
Hyeori and Sieun were on their way home-she’d invited him to stay over that night just because she wasn’t going to the gym or out for a run, and she didn’t want to be alone. Sieun agreed; he didn’t like being alone for long either, and somehow, being with her distracted him enough.
Now they were figuring out what to eat, though Sieun knew he’d end up eating whatever she made, because even after all this time, her food still had that special touch. After a few times, he understood why Sooho always wanted her to cook for him.
Just then, a small voice called out, and Hyeori turned to see Juntae running toward them with a bag in his hands. “Oh, Juntae-ah.”
“Hi, nonna…” He gave a little bow, a bit embarrassed, pulling something out of his jacket. “This is yours. I washed it with some liquid soap from the bathroom, but here you go. Thank you so much.”
She looked at the handkerchief in his trembling hands, smiling softly as she took it, running her fingers over the fabric.
“Oh, and… I noticed you didn’t finish your lunch, so… It’s a milk bun and some fruit juice.” Hyeori blinked, glancing at Sieun as if she needed his permission to take the bag.
He just looked back at her, not understanding why she was looking at him. Hyeori pressed her lips together and reached out to take what Juntae was offering. “Thank you… But you didn’t have to, Juntae-ah…”
“But… You skipped your lunch to help me… I hope you like it.” The brunette didn’t really know what to say, so she just thanked him again as she peeked inside the bag. “Oh, and here… There’s lutein and magnesium…” Hyeori looked at Juntae again as he handed the bag to Sieun, explaining what each thing was for, while Sieun didn’t even say a word.
Hyeori reached out and took the things for him, since he just stood there like a statue, staring at the younger boy with a blank face.
“Thanks for today… Uh… Bye, see you tomorrow.”
Hyeori waved as Juntae ran off, watching him disappear down the street. She turned back to Sieun, who was looking at the bags with a grimace. “You’re supposed to say thank you.”
“I didn’t ask for it.”
“Even so,” she said, turning him around and opening his backpack while he just stood there like a scolded kid. “When someone gives you something that could help, you say thank you…” She patted the closed backpack and stood beside him. “It’s just manners, baby.”
“But I didn’t ask for it…”
“Ah, you’re so stubborn… And I always defended you when Sooho called you that.”
* * *
“And you said you weren’t hungry, liar.”
“You were going to throw it away if I didn’t eat it.”
Hyeori winked as she flopped onto the couch. Both were in their pajamas, watching TV-it was some strange show about medical emergencies, but it was entertaining enough that they hadn’t changed the channel.
“Is that Sooho’s pillow?” Sieun asked when he saw the little pink plush Hyeori had on her stomach.
“Uhm.” She nodded. “I almost left it at my grandma’s, but… It’s good for naps.” She murmured, patting it. “I never understood how he could sleep with this, but after I tried it… Ah, I should’ve bought the pair…”
Sieun smiled a little. He liked seeing Hyeori talk about Sooho without crying, because he knew those memories were just happy ones for her.
When she suddenly cried, he felt like he’d done something wrong or reminded her of something painful, and guilt would fill him in a way that made him avoid her gaze. If he could, he’d want to stop hearing her, lock himself in his room and just close his eyes so the pain in his chest would go away.
“Have you been able to sleep?” Hyeori looked at him, their eyes meeting suddenly. “You can’t tell when you wear makeup at school, but now that I see you…” The boy’s hand reached up to her cheek, brushing it with his thumb as he looked into her pretty eyes. “You look worse than I do…”
Hyeori let out a small laugh, leaning over to rest against his chest. He didn’t stop her-after all, he knew it calmed her down, and after everything that had happened, if he could give her that, he would.
“Sometimes I sleep twenty minutes, sometimes two hours… Never more.” She murmured, playing with the corners of the pillow. “But it’s fine…”
“You know it’s not…”
“Even if it isn’t…” She shrugged. “It’s not something I can control… Even if I take the pills, even if I exercise, even if I shower…” Her eyes started to sting, remembering all the times she tried everything just to get a little sleep. “Nothing works…”
Sieun placed his hand on her head, gently stroking her hair, just hoping she wouldn’t start crying.
“But I can see you’re not doing so well either.”
“It doesn’t matter…”
“Of course it matters,” she said. “I care if you’re okay…” Hyeori looked at him, their eyes locking again, both shining as always. “Do you know what would happen to me if something happened to you, too? I don’t think I could handle it…”
“I don’t think I should be someone… you have to suffer for…”
She frowned, then reached up and gently squeezed his cheek, making sure not to hurt him, but her eyes never left his. “Too bad… Because I care about you a lot, Sieun-ah.”
* * *
Lunchtime was always tricky for Hyeori-sometimes she wanted to eat, sometimes not, but today it was Sieun who’d asked her to go to lunch, and she gladly agreed. On the way to the cafeteria, they ran into Juntae, who was carrying some little buns and a milk, like he was planning to eat alone in his classroom.
“Hey, Juntae-ah.” Hyeori greeted him with a small smile. Sieun stopped beside her, looking at the boy with no expression. “We were about to eat, want to join us?”
“Uh…” He looked between her and Sieun, unsure what to say.
“Oh, come on, nonna’s buying today-I heard there’s soup…” Sieun watched as Hyeori slung her arm around the boy’s shoulders. He was about her height, and though he seemed shy, he didn’t seem to mind her, letting himself be led along.
Sieun had noticed a lot of changes in Hyeori-her temper wasn’t the same, something always seemed to set her off. Her study habits, even her eating habits had changed. But if there was one thing that hadn’t changed-and he didn’t really get why-it was how she hadn’t closed herself off from making friends.
Of course, Sieun knew not everyone reacts the same to stressful or traumatic events, but he’d expected her to shut down and stop trusting people so easily. But no-Hyeori seemed to have no problem approaching others or answering when they spoke to her, and he didn’t quite understand it.
But it didn’t bother him. After all, he knew Sooho would have loved to see his girlfriend being the sweet girl she used to be around him.
“Eat up, Juntae-ah, so next time you can punch someone really hard.” Hyeori said as she put some of her food on the boy’s plate. And while it seemed like a sweet gesture, she really just did it to distract from the fact that she had no appetite.
“Thank you so much, nonna.” He murmured, a little embarrassed but genuinely grateful. Watching Sieun put some of his rice on Hyeori’s plate, Juntae spoke up after a while. “Did you sleep well today?” Both of them looked up from their plates, focusing on him. “It’s just, it’s the first time I’ve seen you in the cafeteria and not… not sleeping in your classrooms.”
“I think what you gave me helped.”
Hyeori smiled, taking another small bite of rice as she heard Sieun speak. “Uhm, the magnesium helped, he slept like a baby.” she confirmed, ruffling the boy’s hair beside her.
And it was true-not just for him, she’d slept a little more too, there on her friend’s chest, both of them in her bed after finishing some homework together.
“Huh? Magnesium?”
“How do you say it?” Hyeori looked at Sieun, who closed his eyes for a second before looking at Juntae.
“Thank you.”
The younger boy smiled, shyly, almost like he’d never been thanked before, which made her smile back, a little sadly.
“Do you guys take multivitamins? I have a great one, you should try it. It’s important to take vitamins every day, usually half an hour after eating…”
“Your mouth’s full.”
Hyeori laughed softly, running her hand over her own leg as she listened to Sieun’s serious voice, stopping the boy from talking so much with his mouth full. “Lunch break’s long, Juntae-yah, eat slow or you’ll choke.”
A few minutes later, the three of them were sitting on the bleachers by the court, watching the horizon or the boys playing basketball. Hyeori, though, could only look at that boy-Hyuntak.
It wasn’t that she saw Sooho everywhere-she didn’t think she was crazy or hallucinating-but that boy reminded her of him somehow. Maybe it was his height and build, maybe it was the way he looked her in the eyes like Sooho used to, she didn’t know.
“Nonna, do you play any sports?”
“Huh?” She looked at Juntae, who’d spoken suddenly, making her blink as she searched for an answer. “Um, no, I’m pretty lazy.”
“I get it, I used to play ping pong, but I got tired really fast.”
The two boys kept talking, Sieun staring off into space as he listened to Hyeori’s giggles, thinking about what it would be like if Sooho were there with them. He’d probably have adopted Juntae by now.
He’d thought that since the first time he ran into him-it was strange, but from the start he knew Hyeori would love him. He was so different from Sooho; if you asked him something, he’d answer and even talk too much, even though he was pretty shy.
He was the kind of boy Hyeori would call “baby” right away. Though he was surprised she hadn’t yet. Hyeori felt her phone buzz suddenly, so she pulled it out when Juntae got distracted for a minute.
Seung-i: Nonna, I miss you.
Seung-i: Ah, I bet you miss me too, right?
Seung-i: I didn’t want to make you wait to see me, so I’m outside your school. Are you coming? :c
Hyeori smiled a little, catching Sieun’s attention as he frowned, watching her type on her phone so intently.
“I have class in ten minutes, did you skip yours again?”
She looked up, scanning her surroundings before glancing at Sieun, who looked away like he’d been caught spying, even though he couldn’t see anything. “I’m leaving now,” she said. “Don’t wait for me after school, I have some things to do.”
“Where are you going?”
“To the bathroom, but I probably won’t make it back-lunch break’s almost over.” She said, standing up and catching Juntae’s attention. “Get home safe, Juntae-ah, see you tomorrow.”
“Bye, nonna.”
She ruffled Sieun’s hair before heading off, hurrying down the steps as she looked at her phone. Sieun looked serious and unbothered, but he knew perfectly well she was lying-he just didn’t know why.
“Go to the back.”
Hyeori messaged the boy with glasses, whom she found with a cigarette in his mouth, swinging a small bag in his hands. When he saw her, he smiled, taking the cigarette out to greet her.
“Hey, nonna. See? I told you you missed me.”
She shook her head, crossing her arms. “What are you doing here? Didn’t you have class?”
“I got a little bored,” he said, making a face. “So I thought I’d come see you.” He held up the bag between his fingers. “I even bought you that ugly soup you like.”
She narrowed her eyes, hearing the bell ring for class. “Are you trying to get me to skip school?”
Seungje grinned. “I’m way more interesting than listening to the math teacher talk about equations, aren’t I?”
* * *
She hadn’t skipped class, in fact, she’d told him to leave, but he waited for her in the same spot for hours until they both went to sit in a park to eat and talk.
It was something that really caught her attention, because he didn’t seem like the kind of person to just sit and have a nice meal and conversation with someone. At least, that’s what she thought until she got to know him a bit better.
Seungje was actually a really fun guy. He also talked a lot when you gave him the chance, though, of course, like everyone, he had that touch of egocentrism that was pretty characteristic.
Overall, Hyeori liked him.
Now she was on her way to the gym after a good dinner and a shower, deciding it was time to clear her head a bit more. She couldn’t go see Sooho now-she was only supposed to go once a week, and week one was up.
And even though sometimes the urge to go see him was overwhelming, she knew she couldn’t cling to that too much, or she’d never get past the pain she was feeling.
When she got to the gym, she went through her usual routine: say hi, put her things in her locker, warm up a bit, and start hitting the heavy bag. Even though it was just a routine, she really liked it, but that day it felt like something was going to break the routine.
“Who would’ve thought.” A familiar voice made her turn around, her eyes going wide when she saw that familiar brown hair. “You’re pretty good with your fists… I thought you just got lucky.”
Hyeori pulled out her headphones as best she could, staring in surprise at the figure in front of her, who was smiling-a smile that, while it might have been mischievous before, looked genuinely sincere now.
“Wooyoung.”
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