𝑹𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺𝑰𝑫𝑬 | 𝐊. 𝐆𝐖 - 𝐱𝐢. 𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟

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She couldn’t breathe.

That was the only thought that coiled and echoed in her head as she stumbled down the street. Her feet stuttering blindly across the pavement, her hands grappling at the concrete walls that tore through the flesh of her fingers. The ringing in her ears grew louder, her heavy breaths and erratic heartbeat ached in her chest. It physically hurt.

She wanted to take a moment alone, to process the information Mr Hwang had dropped on her head. But she could only draw, that they knew all along. They knew everything, there was nothing to explain because they had been there, seen it all. Witnessed her grief and anger. Watched her spiral. And for what.

Duty, honour, money, loyalty.

Guilt, shame, responsibility, retribution.

But then again, what would she have done if they had told her. To them, lying kept her safe, it kept her protected and gave her an opportunity to live. But just like her mother, they failed. She was back on Smile Capital’s radar. Kim Myeong-gil knew her by name and face. There was no way she was safe now. Would she have been prepared had they decided to spill their secret. Or would she have been dead, her death covered in the propagandist stories built by Myeong-gil’s empire like her mother.

But none of that mattered to Nari, not as she could barely keep her eyes open. Her fingernails digging into her chest, above her heart to just make the pain stop. The air in her lungs seemed to vanish and the cracks in the tar began to blur in a smooth solid slab of grey.

Her legs gave up shortly after. Knees locked and wobbly, her back slammed into the brick wall. She paid the shudders in her shoulders no mind as the ground grew closer, her knees pulling to her chest as her head lowered. She tried to make herself as small as possible.

Her fingers shook, trembling so vigorously that she could barely lift it. Count to ten. Deep breaths. Her mother’s voice soothed but the thought of her mother sent another rack of tremors through her. The reality that if one single decision was made could have been the difference between life and death, had panic seize her in a suffocating grip.

Nari grappled for air; tears leaked at the corner of her eyes. She didn’t register the panicked call of her name. the hesitant hands that slowly creeped to her own then her face. She twitched, she writhed and the boy before her felt hopeless.

“Nari”

Her name vibrated through her skull, the pounding in her body became unbearable as Geon-woo kneeled in front of her, his knees touching hers and his fingers cupping her cheek. “Nari, I need you to breathe. Just like me, with me okay”

But she couldn’t. she couldn’t grapple with her mind long enough to listen to him. Her head shook, her body jumped and Geon-woo made a decision.

Her breath got lodged in her throat when the heavy tingling feeling of his lips were desperately attaching to hers. Geon-woo’s fingers entwined itself in her hair, the other holding her hand to his chest so she could feel his heartbeat and replicate it. His head tilted and the pounding dulled. Nari’s mind went blank.

Her eyes blew wide, frozen in shock at the feeling of his lips on hers. A wave of cold relief flushed her body, her legs went slack and the tension in her body subsided into his careful hold. But it didn’t last long.

Geon-woo sprang away from her, flustered and concerned as he dropped his hand from her hair to her forearms to keep her upright. His lips painted a desperate red, slightly swollen from his frenzy need to cull her mind for a second.

Her mind cleared, eyes still wide and cheeks burning from not only the attack but from what just had happened. He had kissed her. Well, she was so out of it, but he had. It worked.

“Nari” he said her name as if it was brittle and would shatter easily. “You there?”

She could barely coax a nod. “How did you-“she croaked, her throat felt barren, scraping from the dryness of water she suddenly craved. Her body burned in his grasp, but Geon-woo didn’t let go.

He suddenly looked embarrassed. “Holding your breath apparently helps” he said, his eyes dropping from hers. “I used to get them too” he told her, her eyes softening. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done it without permission. I panicked” he winced, his fingers withdrawing from hers shyly as guilt penetrated through his body.

His eyes lifted as he felt her hands strengthen on his, pulling him closer as her teary eyes glossed in gratitude sent his heart into a flurry.

“Thank you” she said softly. He paused and let a small smile etch on his face.

“Anytime”

“There’s something I want to show you”

Shortly after her attack, and her heart calmed down to their usual rhythmical beat, Geon-woo helped her to her feet with a concerned are you okay. He didn’t ask what happened, still wary that she might draw back into herself and instead kept her close and let her guide them wherever until she calmed.

“Where are we going?” he asked as she guided them down a few streets, the restaurant disappearing further from view. He had seen her at one of her most vulnerable moments and instead of running, laughing or leaving her to lose herself in her mind. He stayed, he helped her and coached her back to reality. Something not many had ever been able to do. In that moment she decided to come clean to him. He deserved to know what they were getting themselves into especially when she heard that Mr Choi would consider his loan. She knew he had already approved it but she kept that a secret.

When Nari suddenly stopped, Geon-woo’s brows pinched in confusion, glancing around the deserted street to the girl whose head tilted up at a dead sign, the faded word boxing was the only thing he could decipher.

Caution tape had faded to a mute orange, pieces ripped and torn rustling in the wind. The doors were barricaded shut, cold and abandoned as if it hadn’t been touched in months. It reeked of death and decay. However there was not lick of trash you’d expect from such an abandoned building. If anything, it was spotless. Geon-woo’s attention was pulled to a small vase, that sat at the foot of what he assumed was the entrance. In it, was a lily flower. His head lifted to his side where the familiar grief shone in her eyes as her gaze flickered to the lily.

“My name in English means lily” she told him, a wistful smile on her face. “My mother chose the name.” Nari crossed her arms, wrapping herself in her embrace as ghosts seemed to lurk around. In a way, a part of her felt as if it was her mother, protecting her from her grave.

“This was our boxing gym” she said as his head snapped to the building. “You probably deserve to know what happened. What you saw earlier and about Smile Capital” she said. “You deserve the truth”.

“Nari-“he tried to tell her that she didn’t need to say anything. She didn’t owe him an explanation and that whatever laid in their wake would be conquered together. He’d follow blindly, there was no need for her to open up about something that hurt her so deeply.

“You told me you’d listen, if I ever wanted to talk” she said, turning her head slightly. “Do you want to listen?” she asked and he nodded without a beat of hesitation.

Nari’s lips tugged in a sombre smile.

“When I was a child, my mother had been my biggest role model. She was my idol, someone who could do no wrong. That was until she did, and it cost her her life. “She said her voice dropping with hidden resentment. “My dream was to follow in her footsteps, to be a professional athlete. She was a successful boxer but after a career ending injury, she had to retire early. My father on the other hand could not hold a job long enough to last 3 months. He was in and out so when my mother had her injury, it meant no more competitions and a much lesser pay. But my father was a good man, a hardworking man who loved his wife and children. “she said, a longing in her eyes he didn’t fail to notice. ” What I hadn’t realised at the time was before her injury my mother had been pooling our savings into opening a gym, for me. For my dream. I wanted to go pro, and my mother was going to do everything she could to get me there. ”

Geon-woo noticed the bitter twang in her words that was accompanied by a flicker of anger.

“It was the happiest day of my life” she said.” We opened it up for young girls as well. My mother couched and for a while it was perfect. Disaster stuck in the form of covid mere months away from my first big competition. We were forced to close it, lower the shutters in fear of the virus. Parents withdrew their girls and hope as I knew it slipped through my fingers. My father lost his job in construction at the time, everything was put of temporary hold. My competition was cancelled, and we were out of income. “

She took a deep breath.

“I had watched my mother descend into a fit of anxiety. Everyone was worried, scared, paranoid. My father grew desperate. He had always opposed the idea of opening the gym, but he could never say no to my mother. So, he relented but always harboured some sort of resentment. Now, I understand why. It was a couple of months in when I noticed the change in my mother. The heavy eyebags that sagged down her cheeks, the way she always looked over her shoulder as we walked down the street. How jumpy she had been. Her nails were bitten raw and whenever I asked her what was wrong, she’d brush it off with a nothing dear it’s probably the virus.

I would train alone in the gym every night. When the sun disappeared, and people locked themselves in their home. My mother never told me what she did to keep the gym from permanently shutting.”

Nari heaved a shaky sigh.

“On the eve of that day I had confronted her. She told me she had found a way to save the gym from going under, or at least to see it through until the lockdown ban was lifted. I should’ve pried, demanded more detail but she smiled, reassured me all was taken care of and a man had offered them a solution. ”

Geon-woo felt a twist in his heart when he figured out the direction of the story.

“That night I was walking to the gym, the lights were on and something stilled in the air. Noone visited the gym, no one but me. I can’t explain the panic that built inside of me. I was a few of steps away when a couple men emerged from the doors, a cloth in hand and low voices deep in conversation. Under the moonlight I noticed that a thin white scar ran down the cheek of the main one, followed by a man with glasses and a towering beast of a human. It was brief, but we made eye contact for a fraction of a second before they got in a back Benz and drove off. “

Tears pooled in her eyes.

“I found her there, in the middle of the ring. Still warm with red pooling around her hair, a gun beside her open hand. The rest was a blur. They pinned it as a suicide, but I knew better”.

“Nari”

Her lip trembled.” I knew it was them, whoever they were that had a solution. After digging I found the contract in her drawer. Smile Capital. Kim Myeong-gil. This is what they do, what they still do and both our mother’s fell for it” She bristled. ” I discovered Mr Choi’s card in her purse, I was so angry. He knew all along that when I barged in it was almost as if he was expecting me. I was a fool to believe them. Any of them that their intentions were unfathomably pure” she muttered. “He vowed to help me get revenge. Said we’re hunting the same predator now. He paid for my brother’s tuition. I pay him back slowly. He told me I didn’t need to, but I couldn’t do it. You understand. “

He nodded.

“That night I lost both my parents. My father never forgave me. Said it was my fault. His wife, his Areum, gone for a lousy dream. He’s right. He was always right” she grieved. 

“That wasn’t your fault Nari” Geon-woo said earnestly, but Nari shook her head, a tear rolled down her cheek that instinctively his hand reached to brush off. 

“No, no it wasn’t. This is Myeong-gil’s and his alone” he assured with conviction. ” What happened to you mother was not a product of you. And I promise, we won’t stop until we end them. Smile Capital, the lot of them. I swear it Byun Nari. We do this together.” he said as she nodded once, She bit down on her lip to keep it from trembling but Geon-woo could see the conflicting emotions as clear as day. 

He took a careful step and when she remained stationary his arms gently enveloped her shivering frame. Nari stilled in his arms, feeling everything from the way his heart thumped in sorrow, the way his muscles flexed and how unbelievably comforting he seemed to be. Her shoulders sagged in his embrace, her hands creeping slowly up his back to rest on his shoulders as her head tucked in the crook of his shoulder. 

Geon-woo didn’t say anything, not as he felt his shirt dampen with repressed grief.

Why did I go M.I. A like that😭😭😭

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