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034. 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿, 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗴𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝘁𝗲.
𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 had Lori’s life flashed before her eyes like it did in those tunnels, when the stampede of demodogs skidded around the corner and bolted towards them. The moment that their shadows cascaded the wall ahead, her heart plummeted like never before, her body went subzero, and suddenly there was these flashes obscuring her vision— even when she shut her eyes. It had all happened so fast, so crazily fast that it knocked the wind out of her lungs. She thought, in that moment, that she was surely going to die. Point blank.
She thought of her mom, first. The first thing that flashed before her eyes was her mother, Maureen Philbin, in all her beautiful, pearl-wearing, punctual aura right there in front of her. Her warm smile and hard eyes that softened for Lori only. She saw them right then, Maureen’s eyes. Images of her parents arguing, the few times she’d seen tears on Maureen’s face. Her beautiful face. And as quickly as her mother came into view, the image of her flashed away in a split second— replaced with a jumble of childhood memories.
She thought of the most arbitrary events of her childhood that she didn’t even recognize meant so much, until they were flashing before her in bright sequences. Her dad sitting on the couch late at night, drinking. Her parents arguing in the bathroom. Sports on TV back in Michigan. Her father’s jerseys. His briefcase. Maureen’s leather loafers. She thought of the thumbtacks. The dotted scars on her fingertip and the sole of her foot. And the thumbtacks led to the bat of nails, and then she got to thinking of Steve.
His face flashed before her view, his stupid, unmistakable swoop of hair and deep brown eyes. The softest deep brown eyes she’d ever seen. The lake. She thought of the lake and the sunrise and their reflections in the rippling water. The necklace. The Bowie singing. His voice— she could hear the sound of his voice in the back of her head, telling her it was going to be okay. The cassette tape. Then his face twisted into a different version, this time all bruised and bloody. She thought of when she’d fell to the floor beside him. Felt his pulse. She thought of his pulse, now. His lips. His lips on her own on the back porch. His hands on her face. His thumb at the corner of her mouth. His driveway. His arms around her in that driveway, the night they came back from Dustin’s. And that chain of events led to thinking about her cousin.
Dustin. His curly head appeared before her only milliseconds after Steve— his cap and his dimpled smile. His little laugh. His missing teeth. She thought of the first time she’d met him, in his room when she’d asked him to pretend to like her company. And then that room, where she’d seen the demodog for the very first time. The shed. She thought about when she’d saved them both. The junkyard. The train tracks. Yanking him from the emergency exit to save his life. His curly hair.
And then she got to thinking of herself. It was a shorter flash than the others, but it was the last before she opened her eyes again— when she realized she wasn’t going to die after all. She saw herself, sitting in the back of Claudia’s car on the first day, riding her bike to school, marching up to the Halloween party, marching up Steve’s driveway many a’ time, the thumbtacks. It was a quick flash, but she saw herself nonetheless. All different versions.
But then the gust of wind brushed her legs and her eyes shot open to see the dogs racing past their legs— like she was merely just an obstacle for them to get around. Her life had flashed before her eyes but she didn’t die. She thought she was about to. Really thought. Her chest sunk with a relief like never before and it knocked the wind out of her even further, seeing those creatures run from them. They were going somewhere, but she didn’t even care to think, she couldn’t even think about where, because her heart was beating in her throat and her mind was trying to register the shock of not dying after her life had literally just flashed before her fucking eyes.
Steve pulled her towards him.
He pulled her into his chest and buried her there in warmth and safety. His hand placed itself on the back of her head— and the feeling of it resting there, firmly and protective, brought her back to reality. Her cheek was pressed to his chest and her hands wrapped around his body, knuckles clutching his jacket like her life depended on it— because in a sense, it did. She could feel his chest rising and falling against her head and she could hear his heartbeat at her ear.
As the demodogs scurried past them at lightening speed, she shut her eyes for a moment and listened to the sound of his heart. It calmed her nerves as the slimy beasts collided with the back of her knees and as the gusts of wind froze her legs. Thump, thump, thump. Racing heart. But even though it was racing uncontrollably, it gave her a sense of comfort she’d never known— and suddenly she wanted to stand there forever and just listen to it until she could breathe normally again and until all the fear washed away. She thought back to his pulse, when she checked it in the living room, how it sounded the very same now.
She opened her eyes at the last moment to see the last demodog. It scurried around the corner and out of view. The roaring distanced. No more gusts of wind. No more stampeding footsteps. They were all gone. Her heart slipped back down to her chest when the last one rounded the corner, beating firmly where it was supposed to. Her hands stopped shaking on Steve’s back by a little bit. Her eyes were still struck wide, but instead of panic coursing through them, it was relief. They weren’t dead.
They were there, the two of them, standing in the center of those wretched tunnels, holding onto one another in the darkness.
“Lori,” Steve finally whispered, his voice coming out breathless and strained as he swallowed, hard. He was still breathing heavier than ever, her head rising against his chest with each rapid inhale. He dropped the bat to the ground.
Carefully, his hand moved from the back of her head to the side of her face, his other hand, now free, placing on the other side. He pulled back from her slightly, pulling her head away from resting against his chest— so that he could see her.
“Are you okay?” his voice rose to a panic as he tilted her head up, eyes trailing frantically over every inch of her face. “Are you hurt? Did they touch you? Are you okay?”
Lori’s eyes traveled up to his face in the dark. His beautiful, soft face that she adored. His eyes were frantic as they darted all over her, looking down at her body and her legs, searching for some sign of hurt.
“I’m fine,” she whispered reassuringly. That caught his attention, and his eyes finally met hers. “I’m fine, Steve. I’m okay.”
He let out a sharp breath of relief and pulled her in again. His hand was on the back of her head again, keeping her safely in his arms. His other arm wrapped around her waist, tightly. Enveloped in the relief that she was okay. She relished that breath of relief he let out, and a small smile pulled at the corner of her lips. She was fine. She was okay. Everything was okay now. Everything was over.
“Oh my god, thank god,” he whispered onto the top of her head. “Jesus Christ.”
“Are you okay?” she murmured into his chest. He had been so worried about her, not even expecting anything back from it. That nearly made her tear up. “Steve.”
He nodded slowly with his eyes shut tight, her head moving with his.
They stood like that for what seemed like hours to Lori, but what really was only a few moments. The kids relaxed up above on the dirt, letting out exhales of relief.
He finally pulled away. “Let’s get the hell out of here.” he said, quietly.
His arms untangled from her body and moved to her waist, and he crouched down. She placed her hands on his shoulders as he lifted her up— arms wrapped below her bottom as she reached the exit. Her hands grappled on the dirt as Steve pushed her by her thighs, reaching up to the kids. He kept his hands there, to make sure she got up alright and wasn’t falling.
“Lori, oh my god, Lori,” Dustin exhaled in relief as he wrapped his hands around her arm— Mike on the other side.
She let out a grunt as they pulled her up the exit, her stomach in the dirt. Max and Lucas rushed over to reach down to Steve after she was safely out, helping Mike pull him up by the rope. Lori rose to her feet, chest rising and falling. Dustin rose beside her.
Without even thinking twice, and before he could say anything, she grabbed the kid by the shoulders and wrapped her arms around his neck— hugging him tighter than ever before. She felt this sort of comfort wash over her when he hugged back, albeit a little hesitant because Lori had never shown this much emotion. But he did hug her back, and they stood like that, until Steve was pulled up on the dirt beside them. She placed her hand on the top of his cap, wiggling it slightly so that his curls bounced.
“Hagar,” she said, more to herself than to him. “Thank god.”
She pulled away and squeezed his shoulder with her hand, sniffling. She had this immense amount of relief coursing through her veins, shaking her. It was over. It was all over.
“Jesus, Lori,” Dustin chuckled, “What was that for?”
“Don’t ask.” she shoved him, sending him stumbling back a little bit as a laugh escaped his throat.
“C’mere, Lori, grab my hand,” Steve called out, from in front of the car. He’d climbed out of the exit, and was standing along the rim of the funnel.
Sniffling once more, she wiped her nose with her sleeve and placed her hand into Steve’s. He gripped hard, and she stepped up the dirt with his help. They pulled Dustin with them. The kids were in a jagged line, wiping off their dirty pants and shirts.
Then something happened. When they reached the top, the lights of the Camaro suddenly grew brighter. And then brighter. And then even brighter. So bright that it caused them to turn right around and face the car, hands covering over their eyes from the harsh light. A buzzing soared behind the headlights and they flashed brighter, so unnaturally bright.
“What the hell…” Steve whispered.
Lori squinted at the bright light, her eyebrows narrowing. She had her arm covering over her face, but still, the headlights were shining so bright that it wasn’t enough. She felt Steve close to her side, his arm around her back. She had her other hand wrapped around Dustin’s arm.
And the lights blared like that for a few long moments, until they began to dim. Lower. And lower. And lower, until they were back to normal and they let their arms fall. She didn’t need to ask what it was. They all knew, somehow. It was the bright light at the end of the tunnel— it was over. It was all over, basked in glorious white.
It was colder by the time they made it back to the Byers’ house. It was also past two in the morning when Lori had checked the time from the front seat of the Camaro, as she drove them home from the pumpkin patch. The kids were huddled in the backseat, and Steve sat in the passenger side to rest his head— because it was pounding now from the knockout— all exhausted and dirty and shaken up. The alcohol had worn off by now. It was a quiet ride because everyone was tired, nobody really spoke as Lori drove smoothly down the streets in the pitch dark.
A gust of wind had rattled the trees when they pulled up on the grass driveway, and everyone was relieved to see the Chief’s SUV also parked there. Along with Joyce’s car. Lori had pulled the key out of the ignition and let them rest in her hands, before passing them back to Max. She nudged Steve’s shoulder to wake him up, and then pushed open the driver’s door. Nobody had really spoken as they all climbed out of the car. Partly because they were exhausted, and partly because words didn’t seem important after what they’d just witnessed— it felt wrong to talk all of a sudden.
Now, Lori stood outside on the front porch by herself, neck tilted back to stare up at the trees as she leaned on the wooden post. She was waiting for the kids to finish their visit with the newly-returned Will— although they weren’t really allowed to stay long and dwell on everything because the poor boy needed to rest. She’d said hello to Will when they first walked into his room, but because she wasn’t of dear importance to him, she kept it short and let the kids see their best friend. Billy was gone. Steve was in the bathroom now, probably examining the horrible bloody mess that was his beat-up face. And Lori had nothing to do but stand outside and wait for all of them to be done so Hopper could drive them home. She didn’t feel like talking to Nancy, or Joyce, or Jonathan.
The door rattled behind her, and two feet stepped out onto the porch. She didn’t turn around to see who it was, but she knew right away when he cleared his throat, a low, grumbling cough.
Hopper appeared in her peripheral view, his hand rubbing over his beard.
They didn’t say anything for a while, as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. He pulled two of them out, and Lori’s eyes were caught when he held one out in her direction. She looked down at it and frowned.
“No thanks,” she said, her voice soft and quiet. “I hate the smell of cigarettes.”
Hopper paused for a moment. And then he pushed the two cigarettes back into the pack and shoved them in his pocket. Lori didn’t want to admit that she sort of smiled to herself at that.
A few long moments passed where they didn’t speak, just enjoyed the soft breeze and rustling trees ahead.
“My mom’s gonna want to know where I’ve been all night,” she said after a while, words calm and slow. She propped her arms on the porch ledge, leaning on them. “She’s expecting every little detail.”
Hopper shifted on his feet, his hands in his pockets.
“But I know that’s not possible, right?” She turned to look at him, already knowing the answer. “Top secret stuff.”
He looked down at his feet as an answer.
“Right, then. So what the hell do I tell her.” Lori looked back at the trees.
“I’ll talk to her,” Hopper said, lowly. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Really?” Lori looked to him.
He stared back, nothing but honesty in his eyes. “Just trust me.”
Lori nodded, more to herself than to him. She swallowed. “Sorry we left the house, and all. Those kids are very… determined, you know. Bunch of little shits.”
“Oh, I know.” he said with a heavy sigh, and stepped forward to prop his elbows up on the edge like she was doing.
“And tell Joyce we’re sorry about her plates too, and the blood on the floor,” Lori spoke. “Son of a bitch Hargrove just up and left, huh.”
They’d told Hopper about the fight, quite briefly, the moment they got in. They also divulged that they’d been at the tunnels, and that’s how the demodogs were drawn away.
Moments passed.
Hopper shifted on his feet and cleared his throat, seeming almost hesitant for what he was about to say. “I’m sorry about the pumpkin patch, kid.” he said, honestly.
Lori looked over at him as her chest constricted. She couldn’t really describe the feeling those words gave her.
“Know it sorta put a bad image of me in your mind, probably,” he let out the faintest chuckle. “And I’m sorry you got dragged into all of it,” he winced as he looked around. “All of this… shit. Really sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she said, sincerely. “Really, it’s fine. I’m alright.”
“You did good,” he admitted, nodding. “Taking care of those kids. Damn good.”
“I can’t take full credit,” she let out a faint laugh, “Steve did most of the heavy lifting. They’re a real handful,”
It was quiet for a few moments after that.
“You let me know if you need anything.” he suddenly said. And he meant it. “Got it?”
Lori looked over at his bearded face. She swallowed, and then slowly, she nodded twice. A peculiar feeling danced around her stomach— was it comfort? Security?
“Anything, kid.” Hopper cleared his throat and took a step back, “How bout’ you hop into the car now,” he pointed to his SUV, “I’ll go get the kids.”
She nodded again and waited until he was back inside, until the door shut behind him, to move from her spot. When she reached the car, she turned around to look at the Byers house. So much had happened there that night. Things she would never forget for as long as she lived. She took in the appearance of the house and its traumatic memories— but also the good ones, like the back porch where Steve had kissed her. It was all over. Finally over.
The car ride home was long and tiring. She was in the backseat of the SUV, asleep on Steve’s shoulder for most of the ride. Hopper had dropped all the kids off first, making the two teenagers last because they lived right next to one another. She’d said her goodbye to her cousin, and watched him walk up Claudia’s driveway.
It was cold and it was dark when the vehicle slowed beside the curb— stopping right in between both of their grand houses. Steve shook Lori’s shoulder, waking her gently. Hopper leant his chin on his hand and looked out the window to the house. Slowly, she opened her eyes and yawned.
When she turned her head to the side to see her house, a light flickered on in the living room. Her heart palpitated. Her house, once dark and dreary and too big, now seemed the perfect picture of comfort— and she wanted nothing more than to run inside and never take it for granted ever again. She used to hate that house. But now all she wanted was to go home.
The moment she stepped outside the vehicle, the front door flew open.
And there was Maureen. She was wearing pajamas and even from far and in the dark, it was obvious that she was tired. Exhausted, even. She’d probably been staying up all night. Just waiting in the living room. For Lori.
And suddenly, that thought caused water to pool at Lori’s eyes, and she was overcome with emotion as Maureen gasped and ran onto the lawn— her robe blowing in the wind. She ran on the grass, in the dark, and Lori hopped on her feet too, wanting nothing more than to close the distance between them.
As soon as her arms wrapped around Lori’s neck, she erupted in sobs that she didn’t even foresee. Suddenly all she felt like doing was crying in her mother’s embrace, after the hours of hell she’d just endured. After her life had just flashed before her eyes. After everything. She hadn’t hugged her mom in forever.
And they stood there, hugging, as the soft wind blew past them and the world calmed at their feet. As the danger finally slipped away. She was okay, they were okay, everything was okay. It was all over.
𝙅𝙐𝙇𝙄
i love this chapter bc it shows how all of Lori’s relationships developed from her hating everyone at the beginning to having all these people she doesn’t want to lose <333333
even hopper :,)
they make me tear up
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