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“Never thought I’d see the day where big bad Illumi let his guard down”
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pandas do handstands when they pee
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Y/n POV
{5 month timeskip}
These past few months have been actual hell. Not only was I cranky because of the hormone imbalance, but I was constantly being smothered by Illumi and his insane mother. Illumi spent much more time in the estate, lurking in every corner and watching my every move as if the smallest mishap would cause me to spontaneously combust. Like seriously, can’t a girl go to the bathroom in peace? He literally follows me EVERYWHERE. At least he’s somewhat helpful when it comes to things like grabbing stuff out of reach or helping if I knocked anything over, but seriously he’s too much. The days he weren’t home, he had someone else to trail me throughout the day.
That bitch Kikyo on the other hand; not helpful AT ALL. She follows me around the house at a distance thinking I don’t notice her, pretending to be doing something else every time I would turn to look at her. Why is this stupid woman so freaking annoying? Not to mention she’s been sneaking around the kitchen during meal times, what is that even about? I know damn well this woman hasn’t been around an oven since she married into this deranged family. I guess in some weird way we aren’t too different; getting pregnant by the wrong guy and feeling trapped. Actually, what if she willingly married Silva? Geez…
If I ever turn out like her I want someone to shoot me.
Currently I was hidden under a mountain of blankets, eating smucker’s strawberry goober straight out the jar which I convinced Canary to sneak to me while Illumi was away. D/n laid on the floor next to the bed, coloring with a large variety pack of crayons, the one’s that some rich kid had in elementary school that everyone else was envious of.
I looked down at my daughter and began to think to myself. Staying with the Zoldycks definitely isn’t very ideal, but financially speaking it’s much better for D/n than the small home we had before. She has people all around her, though crazy at times, that could teach her things instead of a single working mother. (A SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS 2 JOBS WHO LOVES HER KIDS AND NEVER STOPS)
I then looked down at my own stomach. Maybe staying here would benefit the baby too. According to everyone in the house, the little thing is “powerful”. Maybe growing up in a family full of assassins could help them master that power and they’d grow up to be a strong, smart person. I certainly couldn’t manage two kids by myself.
Pfft, what the hell am I thinking?
I thought to myself, shaking my head. With all the crazy shit Illumi tried with D/n why would I expect anything less with this baby on the way? He’s still hung on his twisted morals that I fear he’ll never let go of.
Besides, If I left Chrollo’s always willing to help-
I was broken from my thoughts at the feeling of the goober jar leaving my hand. I glared at the culprit, the spoon I was using still hanging out of my mouth. There Illumi stood, studying the stupid nutrition facts label on the back of the jar. His gaze moved from the jar to my pouting form as he wore an unamused expression.
“Seriously Y/n?”
“Oh come on, it’s just peanut butter! If anything I’m making sure this kid doesn’t pop out with an allergy,” I said, trying to grab the jar back from his hands. (If you have a peanut allergy no you dont)
My attempts were futile as he held the jar over his head, far from my reach.
Curse this maternal body.
Illumi then felt a weight on his leg, looking down to see his doe eyed daughter hanging off of it.
“Give mommy her snack back!” the young girl demanded, trying her best to look authoritative and intimidating.
The man tried shaking the girl off, which only caused her to hold on tighter and to start giggling.
“Higher! Higher!”
Illumi narrowed his eyes in annoyance. Being too focused on the girl latched on to him, he ended up lowering his arm just enough for me to reach my beloved goober jar. I quickly snatched it back, holding it to my chest as I ate another scoop.
“HA! Never thought I’d see the day where big bad Illumi let his guard down,” I smirked.
The mans face scrunched up as he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Still trying to shake D/n off of him, he spoke, “Why are the two of you so stubborn?”
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FUCK IT WE BALL 🤾🤾🤾
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