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๐
Keep on living
ft. Smile because of me
” ๊ด์ฐฎ์ ๋ค๊ฐ ๋ด ์ฐ์ฃผ๊ณ ๋ฐ๊ฒ ๋น๋ ์ค “
–
Life is a very funny thing.
Strangers could reunite after nearly over a decade as family, just strangers, or something that is soon to grow. Moments that once seemed like an eternity fades within the blink of an eye before it bursts like a bubble on the surface of water that constantly ripples. But those ripples are just proof that you’re alive. Everything rots and dies in a stagnant pool of water.
The winds of change that carries ripples, bursting bubbles and creating new ones often blow along unexpected things into that pool.
It all started with a single, stupid sticky note. Or maybe it was the room trashing incident. Or maybe their very first meeting all the way back a decade ago. Who knows? The start of most relationships, whatever form it may take, is indistinguishable. But before they knew it, imprints of one another were left all along in their lives.
Kunikuzushi didn’t dream often. When he did, it was usually something weird. By the time shapes and colours began to form, he quickly realized this was a dream.
There were many trees. Humid. Did he watch a tropical nature documentary a certain someone was watching before bed? Colourful birds flashed past the trees, many curiously glancing at him. It smelled like moist moss. After confirming the dreamscape didn’t chance forms no matter how much he tried, the indigo haired male just kept walking along. This place looked… Weirdly uncanny.
Being alone after having company nearly every second of the day felt so strangely empty, the idea of no obnoxious ramblings by his side felt weirder than having the usual one now. It was almost scary how quickly his life readjusted itself because of one person, but what could he do about it. Frankly, he didn’t want to do anything about it.
Before long, trees began to diminish and he came to a clearing. The sun was somewhere above the treetops, and shined through in the small clearing up ahead. He could vaguely see a figure of a person sitting in the center. People in dreams were often monstrous and defied all logics of reality, becauseโ well, it was a dream for a reason. But was that… Him? No, literally.
With strange and elaborate blue-white clothing, a large hat brimmed his face. But Kunikuzushi instinctively just knew. That was…
“Even now, you’re still sleeping. Wouldn’t you grace me with open eyes just this once?”
He froze in spot. From the exact pitch of his voice to his appearance, everything was exactly the same. And he quickly took notice of the second person in his dream. Y/n, peacefully dozing off on his doppelgรคnger’s lap. The dream-Kunikuzushi tucked in a stray piece of hair aside on her face, his fingers lingering there for a while. “Haven’t you been sleeping long enough now?” He mumbled, a bitter tone underlying his soft voice.
Kunikuzushi couldn’t move a single step. He just watched as the other him stared at Y/n and traced the outline of her face. “…You’re still as beautiful as I remember. I was afraid I’d begin to forget your face. That would never happen, though.” A gust of wind blew by, and the metal bell ornaments attached to his headwear jingled softly. He closed his eyes and allowed the breeze to gently knock his hat off. His face was in full view now. The closer Kunikuzushi looked at him, the uncannier their resemblance became.
“Won’t you praise me for getting here until now? I even started writing thesis reports for the Akademiya. I… Tried to be a bit nicer.” A pause. “..You said effort is all that matters. Those guys can suck it up.”
The dream-Kunikuzushi opened his eyes and kept them half-lidded, looking back down at the head on his lap. Carefully reaching his slender fingers down to the corners of her lips, he pressed down and brought them slightly upward. A smile cracked on his face. “I never got to tell you how much I liked seeing this. But I guess I’ll only have to see it in my memories now. Is this your way of payback?” The smile twitched and fell once more.
“You sure are cruel, Y/n.”
He leaned down and placed a ghost of a kiss on her forehead. That’s when Kunikuzushi noticed, the other himself was faintly translucent. And just what was he talking about to himselfโ or, to her.
“Leaving me alone for eternity to come with only my sins to bear, while you sleep endlessly beneath everyone’s flowers. And yet, you dare to be carelessly smiling in another world.” Eyes closed, they touched noses and remained like that for a while. The real Kunikuzushi standing by the side couldn’t decide whether he should be feeling offended or feeling like he was intruding on something. “But we really did meet in another chapter, and I kept my promise of finding you again.” Well, that was technically his own self…
“About time you’re here, you slow-minded dimwit.” Huh… Was that guy talking to him now?? “What are you ogling around for? Get over here.”
Blinking, his legs started walking on their own. The sun that hit his skin felt too real, and the grass below his feet even left imprints along the way. And finally, he was before the two. His dreamself raised his head and gave him a judgemental staredown. Was this what his students saw on a regular basis..?
He clicked his tongue and sighed. “How is it humanely possible that you wasted that much time when she was right in front of you?? Are you slow? Well, you’re human in this life, so I guess you deserve some leeway.” His real self was left speechless. Was heโ degrading his own self?? “Ugh, whatever. Just don’t mess up a second time.” The himself in weird clothing grumbled before resuming on running his hair through her hair. Kunikuzushi stared at the other himself with an indescribable expression. Y/n was still sleeping like a tranquil baby through all of this.
After many more reprimanding lines, the dreamself paused and glanced back at her. He thoughtfully gazed at her long and hard, as though drinking in her appearance. “…You don’t know the privilege you have, getting to stare at this every day.” He murmured, much quieter. Silence fell again. “I still have too much time left to exist in this sorry world. Even if I think of her every possible second, it still feels like one day, when I try to imagine herโ”
The figure paused, like the sheer thought of it reset his whole thinking for a moment. “โI won’t be able to see anything in my mind. That’s my only, true and prime fear.” The other him, this spectral and bitter reflection, seemed so real yet so untouchable, like a memory given form. “That’s why I wanted to end it faster, so I can see her again. But that’s not what she’d want me to do, is it? She told me to live.”
The translucent figure brushed his fingers through Y/n’s hair one last time before his hand hovered over her face. “I wonder if she would forgive me, after everything. After what I couldn’t do. After all I failed to say.” He exhaled a shaky breath, looking up at the real Kunikuzushi with eyes that glimmered with something that wasn’t quite tears, but carried the same weight. “…She said she did, maybe it’s just me who can’t bring myself to do the same.”
Terrifyingly similar indigo eyes raised and sharply stared at him. “Don’t you dare waste this one chance. Your privilege is something I dream of every day, whether I sleep or not. When you open your eyesโ you’ll see her.” The dream doppelgรคnger balled a free hand into a quivering fist. “But I can only see her when I close my eyes, in a world that isn’t real.
“โSo please, keep making her smile.”
The other him smiled, the faint smirk pulling at his lips tinged with what was probably sadness. Maybe melancholy. He reached out and pulled her close to his chest, head burying against her shoulder. He stayed that for a very, very long time. But eventually, he gently laid her against the grass and stood up. The hat that was discarded nearby was picked up and placed back on his head.
The other Kunikuzushi stood, brushing the grass off his elaborate robes, and looked at her one last time. “Because I think if I know that she’s smiling because of me even in another worldโ I can keep on living.” His eyes softened and a bittersweet laugh left his lips.
Before the real Kunikuzushi could respond, the dream-self began to fade, his form scattering like petals caught in the wind.
“Wait!” he called out, taking a step forward, but the figure was already gone, leaving him alone with Y/n in the clearing.
The tranquility of the dreamscape pressed in on him, the sunlight now filtering through the trees in soft golden rays. He turned back to Y/n, her face serene, her breathing steady. Kneeling beside her, he hesitated for a moment before reaching out to brush a strand of hair from her face. The motion startled him. It felt real. The warmth of her skin, the softness of her hairโit all felt too vivid for a dream. He stared at her, his heart pounding as he remembered the words of his spectral counterpart.
When the dream ended, he rushed to her room. Well, he was planning on doing soโ but found her right next to him instead. Right. He fell asleep on her bed after watching a movie together last night. Y/n groggily opened her eyes at his shuffling and flipped over to look at his side. “It’s the long weekend, why are you up so early?” She complained with a whiny tone. Blinking, he took a while to perceive reality.
Without thinking much, he reached down and placed a kiss on her forehead, the exact same place his dreamscaoe counterpart placed. The h/c haired female cracked a lazy smile, reaching out and ruffling his hair absentmindedly. He popped back under the blanket and nuzzled against her, chest pressed against her back. Y/n laughed softly, feeling his hair tickle the back of her neck. “What’s up with you this morning? Not that I’m complaining.”
She hummed in realization and turned around, facing him. “You kissed me there when I was sleeping, didn’t you? I felt something last night.” He decided to not respond to her accusation, ignoring her entirely. The art teacher snickered. “I knew it.”
Maybe last night’s strange encounter was a best kept a secret between himself and his other self.
“Also… You should really look into your notes app.” She gestured to his phone giddily. Raising a brow, he reluctantly reached over to the nightstand and unplugged the device. His lockscreen was set by a certain someone a few days ago, into a picture that he didn’t even know he was included in. Not that he bothered changing it anyways. Pressing on the yellow and white icon, he didn’t scroll down far to spot the anomaly.
Beneath the grocery list and emails he jot down in the past, was a bold series of cyan letters.
Whoever catches Kabu last makes breakfast today
As soon as she confirmed he read the sentence, Y/n jumped out of her bed and ran to the door. Presumably heading towards his room, where the cat tower was. “It’s not cheating, I gave you time to read it~!” She called out from the bottom of the stairs before running up. After a moment, he snorted at her childishness.
“Come here, fatass.” He gestured to the vanity. The feline meowed happily and jumped onto the bed, nuzzling against his hand. “Your mom’s a different kind of blind.” Kunikuzushi shook his head, hearing her thumping around upstairs in search for what was already in his arms. A cold breeze from the window caught his attention. Haa, he swore he shut that thing before going to sleep because of Y/n complaining that it was cold.
But just as he was about to shut it closed, a sharper gust blew across his face and flashes his bangs for the world to see.
“…I know, don’t worry. She’s still smiling right now because of me.”
“Kuni, where’s Kabuโ hey, you traitor!!!”
Oh, and by the way, that message never left his Notes.
โโ
A/n
With that, <Notes> officially comes to an end!
Thank you to everyone thats been with me and my hiatuses, rewrites, writers blocks, and irregular updates for the last three years. I still don’t believe notes is actually over now
This was my second ever fic so it was a bit rough at first, but ty to all that voted and commented for this silly thing, it’s what motivated me to write until now ๐ฅน
That being said, stay tuned for side stories and maybe an epilogue!
Next year on will be focused on my other fics that are gathering cobwebs as we’re speaking, and maybe even a new story or two on the way (โขฬแดโขฬ)ู Early Happy New Years to everyone!!
-your author, Mirae โค๏ธ๏ธ
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